A/N: Sorry for the delay, really sorry. I was moving and the whole week was a little crazy for me - packing, unpacking, settling at the new place... I didn´t found much time to write, even though you gave me all the great reviews I wanted:-)
But the next chapter will be up in few days. Enjoy the reading.
Deceptive Intentions
by Nicol Leoraine
Chapter 8
When Nick walked into the room, Grissom was sitting behind the table, cleaning his glasses. He didn´t look up to acknowledge Nick´s presence, and Nick didn´t speak. He just stood by the doors, leaving them slightly open, as if he feared he would need a quick exit. Grissom looked up at him then, and Nick flinched at the scrutine, feeling both anger and fear emerging, mixing into a whole new feeling that made his insides crawl, threatening to lose the little soda he drank to push back the acid taste of bile. He moved his hands, crossing them on his chest, so now he looked even more guarded. Grissom blinked, then leaned back in his chair, glasses still in hands although they were as clean as they could get.
"Nick, I think we need to talk," Grissom said when the silence in the room grew so deep they could hear the bugs crawling inside their glass houses.
"About what?" Nick asked, then cleared his throat as he realized how raspy his voice sounded. Grissom noticed it, too. He stood and walked to the pitcher, pouring some water into the cup and handing it to Nick. The CSI took the cup, eyeing it for a moment, until Grissom thought there could be a fly, but with a resigned shrug Nick drank it, relishing the cold liquid, stalling for time. Even the simple gesture held significance to Nick. It wasn´t taken as a sign of friendship, but as a sign of his own weakness. Everyone thought of him as someone needing help and all he wanted was to shout out that he doesn´t need it. But how could he do so, if a simple look at the dead body of Peter Gonzales brought him to his knees, retching like some rookie.
Grissom watched as the emotions swirled on Nick´s face and was in the dark about what could´ve brought up such a reaction. He almost decided to leave the whole conversation and just tell Nick he´s got to work on another case. But then he spotted something in those brown eyes that stopped him.
"We need to talk about Gonzales," he said and watched as Nick´s jaw clenched, his hands turning into fists and crushing the tiny plastic cup. For a second he though Nick would lash out - a totally unthinkable action - but the CSI took a deep sigh and the frown changed into a fake smile. One that didn´t appease Grissom any.
"What about him?" Nick asked, his voice as close to normal as ever. Grissom shot a look at the crushed remains of the cup and Nick followed his eyes, flushing a little at the proof of his emotions. "Sorry," he smiled again and threw the cup into the bin.
Grissom took a breath and Nick prepared for a lecture, but it didn´t come.
"Nick, I am sorry for what happened." It was so unexpected that for a moment Nick let his guard down, opening his mouth then clasping it shut in confusion.
"What?" he stuttered.
"I shouldn´t have left you alone in that parking lot." That was all Grissom said. But it was enough to push back Nick´s confusion and rewoke the anger boiling just beneath the surface.
"Why?" again that simple question. Grissom opened his mouth to say something, but Nick stopped him. "Look, I don´t need everyone feeling guilty about something only I messed up. Hell, that´s the last thing I need!" Nick burst out. "I know I screwed up, but I would really like to be the one responsible for it. I am fed up with all the excuses."
Grissom blinked, trying to understood what Nick said and put it into context with all his previous actions. And it started to make sense. Letting out a sigh, Grissom nodded.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Nick numbly repeated the word.
"Yes. You want to take responsibility, you have it. You´ve got Paul Mason."
"B-but... we have nothing on that case," Nick stuttered.
"There´s always something, Nick. You just need to find it. If you need some help, ask Sara."
"What about Gonzales?" Nick already recovered from the shock, though his voice shook a little at the name.
"Warrick and Catherine will take care about that."
"I didn´t-" kill him, Nick wanted to say, but Grissom stopped him.
"I know. And I believe that after the fiasco with Kristi, Eckley won´t be so keen on framing you, either. But we still need to be careful about that so I want your full co-operation."
Nick nodded, still feeling numb from the change in Grissom. Five minutes ago he waited to be lectured and pulled off the case, maybe even said to take a few days off until it calms down. But Grissom did none of that, instead offered him a case. One Nick knew he couldn´t let go. Somehow, that simple act of trust did much more for Nick than all the apologies in the world.
"I just want to do something right," Nick spoke out loud enough for Grissom to hear him, though it sounded more like he said it to himself. "On my own." he added.
Grissom looked at him, cocking his head slightly.
"You´ve got the chance, Nicky. But don´t forget that you´re still a member of the team."
Both men stood in silence, studying each other. When Nick nodded, Grissom felt the concern diminish a little. He knew Nick wasn´t all right, that he still needed time and some help, but at least it was a start. Nick, on his side, felt confusion mixing with relief. Maybe he still had a chance.
xxxx
Nick was still reeling from his talk with Grissom when he entered the lab. He didn´t know what to think about it. When he entered Grissom´s office, he awaited a lecture, maybe an offer to take a few days off. But he never thought Grissom would give him a case. Not after what happened today, not after what happened two weeks ago. In Nick´s opinion, he lost all credit he could´ve had with Grissom, but he never realised he was only projecting his own doubts into the man. The fact that Grissom still trusted him enough to give him the case just came as a shock.
Now he didn´t know if he should laugh or cry. He felt relief, but also fear that he couldfail and definitely show Grissom that he isn´t cut out for the job of a CSI. Also there was the anger, silently bubbling under the surface. He wasn´t sure what he was angry for anymore, he just was. But for now, he felt also hopeful that maybe he got the chance he wanted.
Sara looked up from the computer, warily eyeing Nick. Seeing that he was in one piece still, and not about to storm through the lab, she smiled.
"Lucky, huh? Grissom got called away before he had a word with you?"
Nick showed her a lopsided grin, one she didn´t saw for quite a time now.
"How´s your case coming?"
"Okay, I guess," Sara replied, watching Nick curiously. He still wasn´t back to his normal self, she saw the flicker of fear behind those brown eyes, but he was definitely better. She wondered if he really talked with Grissom, but then she realised that however down, Nick wouldn´t disrespect their chief with sneaking off.
"You closing it up soon?" Nick asked and nodded to the computer and the file on the monitor.
Sara shrugged.
"I'm waiting for the report from Sanders. If he confirms the sand found in the car matches the one I collected from our suspect´s boots, I will close it up in a moment."
"Well, while you´re waiting..."
"I hear a request coming," Sara sighed. "What´s up, Nick? Grissom gave you some crazy assignment?"
"In a way, yeah. I´ve got to look at the case of Paul Mason. Well, as you was working on it, I thought that maybe-" Nick stopped, frowning as he saw the grimace on Sara´s face. "What?" he asked, irritated.
"Nothing," Sara held up her hands, trying to hide her surprise. She didn´t know what Grissom thought, but she didn´t like it a bit. Not only she was irritated by the fact Grissom practically handed Nick her case, showing that he trusted him more than Sara and Warrick, but she thought Nick should be the last one to investigate it.
"You think I shouldn´t?" Nick asked, suddenly unsure. That change of mood alerted Sara and she suddenly realised just what was Grissom´s plan. She didn´t like it, but there wasn´t much she could do about it, only think that she´ll give Grissom a piece of her mind.
"No, I didn´t say that. Just surprised, that´s all. Didn´t mean anything, really." She assured him quickly. Still there was doubt in his eyes.
"I just thought he would tell me before he hands my case off to someone else. No offense." She was trying to look annoyed and it worked, because Nick visibly relaxed.
"Sorry for that. But Gris didn´t really pull you off the case. He said if I need help, I should ask you."
"Great. Now I have even more work," Sara gruffed, but was glad she wasn´t totally off the case. This way she could keep a closer eye on Nick, and maybe figure out just what the hell is troubling him.
"Okay, what do you want to know?"
"How about we start with the victim. Who was Paul Mason?"
xxxx
"You did what?" Catherine almost shouted and Grissom pulled off the phone, grimacing. He could imagine several people looking at Catherine in surprise, and he heard her mutter a sorry to someone near her.
"I just gave Nick what he wanted. A case."
"Are you insane, Gil? You should´ve sent him home! He isn´t ready to work on any case right now - and you give him the one that started it all?" Catherine couldn´t hide the anger mixed with concern.
"Nick is perfectly capable of handling a case." Grissom said, although Catherine could tell he had his doubts. "Anyway, we getnowhere with Paul Mason, but maybe Nick will be able to see something we didn´t."
"May I remind you that Nick was involved?"
"No, he wasn´t. Not really. He was attacked by Gonzales and we already know that. He never saw the case files, nor did we talk about it with him. He can get a new point of view on it."
"Just great. And why do you think this new point of view will help him any?"
"He lost control. He wants to regain it. I gave him the chance." Grissom said in a voice that plainly stated it´s the end of the discussion. He heard a sigh coming from the other end and pushed back a grimace.
"Whatever," Catherine said resignedly, "just don´t let him out of your sight."
Grissom frowned at that. He trusted Nick because he was his CSI, a member of Grissom´s team, or like Brass would say - one of his kids. But Grissom still thought it was partially his fault Nick got attacked and thus he felt he owed him something.
"I´ll watch him." Grissom spoke into the phone, startling Catherine who was starting to think they lost connection.
"Good."
"Do you have anything new on the Gonzales case?" Grissom asked once again matter of factly and Catherine knew the debate about Nick was finished.
"Brass got a description of the guy that was seen with Gonzales in the restaurant. He´s now questioning the personnel (personnell), see if someone didn´t remember more. Warrick is still searching that container, looking for the murder weapon."
"Was there any blood in the container?"
"Only on the body. But I found a pretty big sized pool of blood not so far from the container."
"That´ll be the primary scene."
"Yeah," Catherine agreed. "I'm already working on that."
"Then why are you still on the phone?" Grissom gibed.
"Because you called me," Catherine replied exasperated, but Grissom had already ended the call.
xxxx
A/N: Okay, the next chapter should be more about the case as I seemed to neglect it a little. But don´t fear, there is still action waiting for you in the following chapters. Read and review:-)