Chapter 2: Kella


A/N: Without any prodding, I'm updating.

But really, that begs the question just why I'm putting an A/N in if nobody's gonna read it.

So…. Please? R & R!

I sat down hard against the bench, breathing erratically. My left hand was like a claw, digging into my chest. I tried to breathe normally. It was like my lungs were constricting, trying to punish me for the awful thing that I had just done. Tears streamed out of my eyes, unheeding of my right hand trying to wipe them away.

My hands came together in front of my face, and I let my face rest in them, sobbing helplessly. Maruman merely sat by Rushton's head, not giving me any comfort whatsoever.

I was left to my own torturous conscience, and it was almost physically smashing me across the head. All of the things that I had ever done that I blamed myself for came back: Matthew's slavery, Dragon's coma, Jik's death… the tears fell faster, and faster, like a storm that refused to cease. Like a wet firestorm, it raged inside me, charring my insides with an unsympathetic ferocity.

What had I done?

What had I done, that I had just killed my beloved?

It was entirely my own fault.

In that moment, I hated myself more than I ever had before.

In that moment, I was even sadder than I had ever recalled being, even after being orphaned, even after my brother's death.

Even when Jes died, I had Rushton there to comfort me, even though at that time I had hated him.

This time, I had no one. Not even an insane old cat. That particular insane old cat refused to help me with this one.

I rocked back and forth slowly, self destructive thoughts filling my mind quick and fast.

"Belovedloved is not longsleeping yet."

I looked up through bloodshot eyes, filled with a type of despair that I had hoped to never feel again. Maruman had left the side of Rushton's head, and had come over to sit before my feet.

"What do you mean?" I sent back stupidly, my hands digging into the side of my head. "I killed him. He didn't even have mindshield. Even as funaga go, he is weak." Those bitter words about Rushton hurt more, another rock on my mountain of grief.

"Rushtonlove is not in longsleep," Maruman repeated, his one eye regarding me without any discernable pity.

"He is not longsleeping?" I sent back, desperate for Maruman to be right. Desperate for anything at all.

"Notnow." Maruman closed his eye slowly, lethargically, and kept it shut for a while, refusing to say anything else. After a stretch, after I was nearly ready to pick him up and shake him like a doll for the answer, he finally said, "He has been rendered like Mornir."

Like Mornir?

For a moment, my mind failed to grasp what he was saying. And then I remembered.

The animals called Dragon mornir, which meant, "bright mane".

Rendered like Dragon?

That meant I had made him comatose.

"Kella! Kella! Kella Kella Kella!"

I ran into the Healer's Hall, disheveled and tear-stained, my clothes a total mess, and Maruman close upon my heels. The main part of the Healer hall was bereft of the girl who I sought. Many sick people had woken up at my unrestrained summons, and were murmuring in annoyance to be thus disturbed. I ignored them, and instead searched for Roland. He wasn't there either, so I ran into the antechamber, my cries becoming more desperate. Then I saw her.

"Kella!" I shouted, running over to her, Maruman jumping on the bed that held the woman that Kella was tending. Next to her a boy that I didn't know was looking on with interest. The woman's face was bright red, five large lumps standing out milk-white against the scarlet. Kella looked up, dropping a towel into a basin of water.

"Elspeth!" she said, rushing over to where I stood. I must have looked a sight for her peaceful expression to change so rapidly. The normally reserved Guildmistress of the Farseekers looking like a total mess was something that didn't happen everyday in Obernewtyn. "What's wrong?" Kella asked, looking anxious. When I didn't reply, she put her hand to my forehead, feeling my temperature. It would have been high, for I had sprinted from the greenthorn maze. I was still gasping for air.

"Can we talk outside?" I ground out through grit teeth, ignoring the look that the guildmember gave me. Kella must have then noticed my eyes for she gave me a curt nod, touching the arm of the boy and giving him quick, terse instructions. Then she followed me out into the courtyard.

"What is it?" she asked, wrapping her arms around herself. I bustled her out of the hall so quickly she didn't even have time to grab a cloak. I felt sorry for her, but felt that the issue that I had to tell her of was extremely more important. But I was hesitant, for telling her the whole truth would mean that I had to trust her implicitly.

"What I tell you, do you promise to tell nobody else, absolutely nobody else, unless I give you leave?" These words hurt me, for I did trust Kella, but what I had to tell her was so grave that I had to extract an oath.

"I swear," she said, looking worried now. "What is it? What happened?" I bit down hard on the inside of my cheek, uncaring of the warm salty blood that spurted into my mouth.

"I…" the words died premature in my throat, and I had to swallow before I started again. I decided to get straight into the thick of it. "I can kill with my mind."

"You… what!" Kella was dumbstruck. I didn't doubt it.

"My brother had it too," I continued shakily. "But if I don't want to hurt them enough, I can only make them comatose. Do you remember, when we were escaping from Henry Druid's camp? Remember that guard, who grabbed my arm, he suddenly fell unconscious? I used it then…" She was now pasty white.

"You jest."

"I used it once to protect Rushton." I ignored her. "Then I swore to never use it lightly again."

"Elspeth," she said, grabbing onto my lower arm with an iron grip. "What happened? What, in Lud's name, what happened?" Kella ground the words out.

"He… Rushton… he tried to kill me."

"He tried to what!" I could tell that now Kella thought me insane. No wonder.

"I believe that he was coerced to try to kill me."

"Why on earth would anyone want to kill you? Forgive me, Elspeth, but you are no one so special that a Misfit would want to kill you!"

"I am, and for what reasons I cannot tell you."

"Alright," Kella said, taking a deep breath. "So, what happened?"

"I hit him with the dark power. He has no mindshield. But, instead of dying…" I swallowed. This was hard. "He's comatose."

"Like Dragon?"

"Yes," I said, feeling a treacherous tear escape my eyelid.

"Take me to him," she demanded, but then stopped. "But first, I must get my cloak."

She disappeared into the Healer's hall.

A/N: Well, at least it was a bit longer! Please R & R! Noo, I would not be so harsh as to kill our fair Rushton off. I shall update soon!

Not falling in love