Purple Kangaroo: Hooray! The first chapter has at last begun! Tis still a Draco/Hermione, (their first encounter of the new year!) just so you all know. And, of course, I must say a big BIG Thank You! To my very first reviewers. you guys are angels. Sorry this one took so long, it fought tooth and claw, but I think it will go smoother from here on out.
Only one note about this chapter. I have no idea what color hair Pansy has. We're pretending its blonde, although all pictures I've seen have been brown. Yay for hair dye!
EEK! Last time I forgot the disclaimer! Please don't sue me! I'm only a kid! And I'm broke.
DISCLAIMER!: I don't own Harry Potter. . . sniff. . .
Wizards Chess
Chapter 1
Speakerphones, Squirrels and Screeching
"Open it up to see who you will be paired with!"
With this, a satisfied Dumbledore stepped down from the podium. For a few long, silent moments, no one said anything, no one even realized the food had yet to arrive, no one moved. Finally, a brave Gryffindor sitting a few seats down from the 'Golden Trio' reached onto their plate and with a pop, opened their cracker.
"Terry Boot- Ravenclaw." He read clearly. Assured that it was no hoax, a few more students reached down, opened theirs, and read them to their friends….then a few more. Soon, the entire hall was chattering and chittering, cheers and groans around. Somewhere in the Slytherin table, an interminable screeching wail started as Pansy Parkinson discovered her dormmate was not only a younger year…but none other than Miss. Luna Lovegood.
"AYEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"Parkinson, shut it!"
"-AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
"Oh for the love of…"
Ignoring the blonde-haired banshee and protestors from the Slytherin table, Harry, Hermione and Ron looked hesitantly at their plates, all three a little unsure, for the first time in their seven years, about trusting Albus Dumbledore. It was Harry who first took a deep breath and closed his eyes, popping open the cracker. A piece of paper, delicate as a feather, floated down to rest in his hands.
He opened his eyes.
Justin Finch-Fletchley- Hufflepuff The page read clearly.
Harry sighed weakly in relief, tensed muscles relaxing and a watery grin on his face- as though the effort of opening the paper had exhausted him. Relief did that to you. "Not a Slytherin." He grinned in relief and continued to scan the paper, getting the information on the location of his room and the password to enter it. "Second hall, third floor fourth portrait on the left, The Coward." He offered, showing his mates the slip of paper.
"That ain't so bad, Harry! He's bound to have gotten over that second year snake-gambit, eh?" Ron said, excited. Feeling a little sure of himself after Harry's 'success,' Ron reached down without hesitation and ripped open the cracker with renewed enthusiasm.
It is truly a pity the lesson 'don't count your chickens before they hatch' hadn't quite reached our redheaded Weasley.
"Well?" came the simultaneous query from his friends. Ron looked at them, clutching the little piece of paper that had fluttered in such a deceptively delicate manner into his now-shaking hands. His face ashen white, Ron groaned, grunting the name in a despairing tone.
"…Goyle."
After a few moments of comforting Ron (who refused to be comforted, but at least attempted to be optimistic), he and Harry turned to Hermione expectantly. She took a deep breath and glanced down to her plate, extending hand to pick up her cracker, intent on picking it up and opening it as quick as possible...
The was really only one problem with her plan.
No cracker.
Hermione blinked, sitting in a confused silence. She withdrew her hand and looked back at her plate, a small frown appearing on her face as she thought. Her friends said nothing as they watched her, equally puzzled by the distinct lack of cracker on her plate- it was very unlike the Hogwarts staff to miss someone.
"Well, maybe they want the prefects to stay with the first and second years?" She asked at last. This sounded reasonable to Harry until Ron spoke up.
"Then why am I with Goyle?" He paused, immediately lightening up. "Maybe it's a mistake! Maybe I'm supposed to stay with them too!"
"I don't think so," Harry said gently. Hermione bit her lip and shook her head.
"It must be something else..." There was silence for another minute.
"...Maybe you get a room to yourself?" Harry asked tentatively. Ron perked up.
"Wanna trade?"
"Ron!" Hermione scolded. He returned to his depressed sulking.
"Well, you're Head Girl," Harry continued. "So maybe you get something else...but if so, why didn't they mention it on the Hogwarts Express?"
Hermione considered this. "Huh...well, maybe its because of all the confusion with who the Head boy was. Perhaps they just didn't get around to it..." She relaxed a little, this sounded logical- and if it was a little flawed, well, it was something. Someone would come and tell her when they remembered. For, as they had earlier decided…the Hogwarts staff rarely missed anyone…
Meanwhile; at the Slytherin table...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" ...Suffice to say that the sheer volume of Pansy's screech didn't allow much time for a certain Draco Malfoy to wonder why there was no cracker on his plate. The food finally arrived, and people dug in, chattering as normal even if the subject wasn't just 'Who teaches Defense against the Dark Arts this year?' and 'Oh no, I hope we don't have Potions with you-know-who again!' Sir Nick and the others joined the Feast about half-way through and conversed with the students who, now that the food had arrived and the speeches were over, were back to their normal and very loud selves. Pansy never ceased screeching through the entire meal, and most of the students spoke even louder to hear themselves over the grating noise, escalating the volume even higher. Parkinson females, you see, were expert screamers. They had lessons starting from when they were very small on how to project as much volume at as high and irritating a pitch as possible. It was for yelling at their husbands later in life. Pansy had been a quick learner- and this was good practice. It was so goof, in fact, that she decided to see if she could screech until everyone was out of the hall. If that irritated the teachers, well, it was their fault for pairing her up with a loon.
At the Gryffindor table, meanwhile, Harry, Hermione and Ron ate quickly, catching up on old times until the meal was over and it was time for the prefects to lead the younger students up to the dorms. They, luckily for them, were not going to be stuck in Dumbledore's new 'program'.
"First and Second years, over here, follow this way!" Hermione called, Ron behind her.
"Yeah! All you midgets! C'mere!"
"Ron!"
"…sorry." Ron said sheepishly, but the grin on his face suggested he really wasn't.
Draco had a different approach to gathering the younger years, a very simple one.
He stood up and walked out.
"Do you think that's a good idea, Draco? I mean, some of the first and second years might not be paying attention, and it's the prefect's job to-." Blaise Zabini murmured calmly to Draco. The blonde-haired boy glared.
"If I called, they wouldn't hear it over that bloody racket." He jabbed his finger in the direction of the still-screaming Pansy (she was quite sure by now that she had definitely beaten her snooty cousin's best scream). "So if they don't follow- too bad." He hissed. Luckily, most of the Slytherin students had been watching the door frantically, in hopes that someone would leave and they could follow…getting away from the horrid racket a certain female Slytherin was making. Pansy, it after all, had a remarkable lung capacity when it came to screeching in dismay.
Needless to say, the Slytherins quickly left.
Up the steps and around the corners went the young Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Slytherins and Ravenclaws, each to their respective portraits. There was a good deal of moaning and groaning- along with a good deal of bickering- as the older wizards split off to their 'pairs'.
"I didn't know Hogwarts had so many rooms!" Lavender Brown whispered to Parvati, who was sniffling quietly (she had the misfortune to be paired with Millicent Bulstrode).
Hermione glanced over her shoulder at the pair. "They mention it in Hogwarts, A History." She said brightly. "You know how the staircases move all the time? The walls can as well, to create new rooms."
Lavender shuddered at this information. "I hope they don't decide to un-create a room while I'm in it!" She mumbled. With that, she turned down another corridor to her portrait, gently patting the weeping Parvati on the back before heading off to the room she was sharing with Hannah Abbott.
It didn't take long for the small, soon-to-be-sorcerers to be herded into the common room, and with that done, Hermione set to the task of finding out where her room was. This, of course, had to be done AFTER she shoved Ron forcibly off towards his room with Harry to comfort him for the time.
A delicate frown was placed on her face as she started down hallways to find a teacher. After all, in the mind of Miss. Hermione Granger…the professors knew everything. Except Professor Trewlaney…but Hermione rarely counted her. But if she could find a reliable teacher, they would be able to sort this confusion out. So she continued looking.
She needn't have bothered.
"GRAAAAAAANGER!"
Hermione yelped and whirled around, startled to hear her surname roared out- it wasn't exactly a common occurrence. Before she really understood what was going on, she found herself face to face with one very annoyed Slytherin.
"What is it, Malfoy?" She said irritably, to cover her surprise. She was angry with him for yelling at her like that, and even angrier he'd succeeded in making her jump. "I haven't done anything to you yet this year, I don't know where Ron is at this point, and Harry is in his room- so he couldn't have possibly done anything either. So why are you screeching at me?" The annoyed Gryffindor snapped.
"Because." Draco hissed. "Of this." He shoved a piece of paper at her and scowled.
"And what is 'this'?" Hermione asked dryly.
"It's a piece of paper, Granger. I would expect even you to know what."
"I'm aware it's a piece of paper. What is it for, Malfoy." Came her reply, more of a statement than a question.
"You can't read, either, Granger? You've sunk to new lows. I'd be ashamed for you, if I actually cared."
"I'm perfectly capable of reading, Draco. Just not when some git's hand is covering the writing."
Unamused and irritated (Malfoy's were never at fault. Well, actually, the usually were, but they weren't supposed to get caught) Malfoy moved his fingers and dropped the paper into the Head Girl's hands as though it were going to bite him. Glowering calmly, he took a step back and leaned against the hallway wall as he waited for her to read it. When she had, he spared a moment from his self-centered irritation to grin wickedly at her equal discomfort- it was entertaining to see Granger look so shocked.
"They can't—we can't, I mean, we're, oh Merlin's beard-" Hermione swallowed as she read the paper that said very clearly;
Draco Malfoy (Slytherin) and Hermione Granger (Gryffindor)
West Tower, Top Floor, Fourth Portrait (Carikus the Animagus)
Password: Walnut
Scrawled underneath was a note in Professor McGonagall's handwriting.
As the two of you are our Head students, we expect a decent example from the both of you. We believe you are mature enough to handle the situation in a reasonable manner. Enjoy your school year, I look forward to seeing you both in class. And that means on time, Mr. Malfoy.
Malfoy was starting to unnerve Hermione, to be honest. It was one thing to have him throw a tantrum when she had Harry and Ron to blow up back at him. It was quite another to have him glaring at her, and solely at her, like some sort of snake about to bite. And when had he gotten so tall? Hermione didn't like it, it made her have to tilt her head to look up at him, and she hated looking up to anyone. Her jaw set and she frowned. Well, this was unpleasant, but she was strong, she was mature, and she'd be damned if she'd let a pale-skinned little ferret ruin her last year at Hogwarts. She took a deep breath and calmed herself. She was going to be logical and reasonable, and hopefully Malfoy would be too.
Well, that asking for a lot.
"Well, I guess we could talk to Dumbledore, and explain to him that it really isn't a good idea to have-" Draco interrupted.
"Tried it. He said something about inter-house unity, love peace and happiness and all that jazz." He pushed himself off the wall and started to stalk off towards the West Tower. Hermione had to take large steps to keep up with him. "Bloody hippy." He added.
"Malfoy, Dumbledore is not a hippy." Hermione said exasperatedly, though after a minute, smirked. "Draco, how do you know what a hippy is?"
Draco suddenly coughed and turned an interesting hue of pink. If there was one thing he was not going to discuss with a mudblood, it was how his parents had gone into a hippy phase after their graduations from Hogwarts. Thank goodness the plant smoke had worn off after a few years, nearly being named 'Singing Mushroom Malfoy' had been too close of a call for Draco. "None of your business, so bugger off."
"Not until we come up with a solution to this…" Hermione grimaced. "…situation."
"No bed of daisies for me either, Granger."
"Of course not. Daisies would clash with your skin tone."
"Damn straight they would."
"Well, let's just…go to the room. Maybe there's a barrier or some kind." Hermione said, running a hand through her hair and shaking her head. It was certainly possible. There was no way the teachers could get away with co-ed rooms. No way. No how. By this point, the pair had reached the designated spot, but instead of a glamorous portrait, there was a large painting of some furry woodland creature squeaking angrily at them and hurling acorns. Luckily for Draco and Hermione, they didn't get pass the canvas.
Malfoy had just about had it. He'd had his eardrums assaulted by screeches, had his complexion insulted, been paired with a mudblood and now there was a portrait of what looked like a mutated rodent staring at him, yakking in some language he'd never heard of. "What. Is that?"
"That's a squirrel, Malfoy."
"I'm aware of that Granger. I was questioning what it is doing where the entrance to my room is."
Hermione let the 'my' go by, she didn't want to admit it was 'their' room, either. "I believe it's Carikus the Animagus." She winced as it hurled more acorns. "I can see why its been tucked up here in the tower. Apparently he was a squirrel."
"Brilliant deduction, Sherlock."
Hermione bristled. "At least I don't ask stupid questions, my dear Watson."
"Ha! I knew you loved me! Poor deluded little mudblood."
"Knew that I what?!"
"You called me 'my dear.' "
"It was a literary reference!"
"Oh how sweet, you're blushing. Of course, I wouldn't touch you with a six foot pole, but it is just proof of my irresistible charm."
"Charm! What charm?! Oh I'll show you a charm…" Hermione reached for her wand only to be interrupted by a high, squeaky voice.
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
With a groan, Hermione looked around for the source of the voice. This was absurd. She was the level-headed one, she was the calm one. She was the sensible, practical one; how on earth could she have let herself get baited by that blonde haired idiot? No. She was going to be mature. She took a deep breath and said waspishly. "Look, I think-" Malfoy interrupted her.
"Where did that come from?"
"Where did what come from?"
"That voice."
"Up there," Hermione pointed to the top of the portrait, a little wizarding speakerphone was attached, squatting like some sort of metallic pigeon, its yawning mouth screened like an announcement box.
"Who's bird-brained idea was that?" Malfoy grumbled.
"Were you attempting to make a pun, Malfoy?" Hermione asked mildly, earning a glare from her companion. She was attempting to be civil, but the comment had slipped out nonetheless. Besides, she was curious- who knew Malfoy actually had a sense of humor?
"I did not attempt, I succeeded. Malfoy's always succeed. It's in the rules."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, curious despite herself. "What rules?"
"The Essential Rules Regarding Involving the Finer Interests Concerning and Regarding Any Wealthy Family's Important Son and Heir."
Hermione stared at him for a minute and then snorted, dissolving into laughter. Malfoy frowned. "May I inquire, Granger, just what is so entertaining?"
"Terrific Crawfish."
"I beg your pardon?" Malfoy asked icily.
"Terrific Crawfish. The Essential Rules Regarding Involving the Finer Interests Concerning and Regarding Any Wealthy Family's Important Son and Heir- it winds up being TERRITFICARAWFISAH. Take out a few ands, and you have Terrific Crawfish."
"I will thank you not to mock them." Malfoy growled. "They've been guiding the Malfoy family for generations." Hermione ducked her head to hide a smile. Malfoy scowled and added angrily. "At least I don't have to take a class to understand myself. Figures a mudblood like yourself has to take Muggle Studies. Lived so long like one of 'em you don't even understand them! Nothing but a lab rat, Granger, for us to watch and study. How can you even think to understand the complexities and difficulties of a pureblooded wizard family when you-"
"Oh shut up you-"
"-don't even fit in in your own wolrd. Just do us a favor and-"
"-arrogant filthy, miserable, little-"
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
Hermione whirled to face the pigeon speakerphone as it squawked. "Great." She hissed through her teeth. "Look what you've done."
"Malfoy's, my dear, are never at fault." Draco responded coolly and stiffly, one hand reaching up to fix his hair as he pointedly ignored her. Hermione grinned suddenly and slyly, causing Malfoy to look at her uneasily. That wasn't right- she wasn't supposed to smile. What was that little witch thinking?
"Ha!" Hermione said triumphantly.
"Ha what?"
"Ha, you-said-my-dear."
Malfoy made a noise that, from anyone except for a Malfoy, would have been a snort. As it was, the Terrific Crawfish prohibited snorting, so Malfoy simply made a rough, noisy sound made by breathing forcefully through his nostrils. "I most certainly did not."
"You did, and according to your logic, you're saying you love me."
"Ah-ha! So you do want me to be in love with you!" Malfoys were masters of manipulation, of course.
Hermione snorted this time (she was not a pureblood, and thus could snort. Although she was lady, and so it was a much more delicate sound than Malfoy's, although a snort in any form is, by definition, not really all that delicate. It is, however, much more sensible than breathing noisily and forcefully through one's nostrils, but it was a well known fact Hermione was a sensible person and thus really did not matter).
"I do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
"Do not!"
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
"Do too!"
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
"Do not!"
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
"Do too!"
Five points deducted from Gryffindor. Five points deducted from Slytherin
Simultaneously, two hands reached into robes and pulled out wands. One Head Girl and one Head boy each aimed their wands at the pigeon, fury temporarily diverted at the irritating device.
"Missilis sagitto!" Hermione shouted, sending a stream of arrows out of her wand towards the bird. At the same time, Malfoy shouted "Incendio!" sending a stream of fire towards the speakerphone. For a moment, it was silent, a smoking, dented metal bird smoldering on top of one angrily chittering portrait of a squirrel. Hermione and Malfoy's eyes remained on the blackened piece of metal. Just as they begin to relax, the voice squawked out again, albeit, a tad strainedly.
Five points added to Gryffindor. Five points added to Slytherin
"Bloody little-"
"Malfoy, watch your tongue!"
"Oh, like you didn't want to blast it-"
Ah-hem. I just gave you two points. You want me to take 'em back already?
Malfoy stared.
Hermione stared.
Carikus the Animagus would have stared were it not for the fact the thing they were staring at was sitting on his frame, and he was easily distracted and had found a lovely acorn to munch on.
Hermione was the first to stop. She swallowed and turned to Malfoy. "Erm, right then. Shall we go in?"
Malfoy nodded, still looking suspiciously at the speakerphone. "Right. Mudbloods first."
Hermione ignored the slur and took a deep breath. "Walnut." She whispered, and with the same sinking feeling one gets when they're about to step off a cliff, she entered.
It was going to be a long year.
A/N: Well, there you have it! One chapter down. Next to the first classes of the year! Thank you all for your patience, and remember, there's nothing like reviews to motivate an authoress to write more! Much love to you all,
-PurpleKangaroo