Heart Of The Battousai
Chapter 3 - Never Again
This chapter is kind of dark and depressing but it'll get better in the next few chapters to come. And yes, I promise there will be some Kenshin+Kaoru later on so stay with me, 'k? Read on and enjoy!
The next week was torture for the young manslayer, several attacks and battles had occurred and between all of the fighting and taking care of Tamaiya he was exhausted. There were several times he thought about just laying down on the floor and never getting back up again, but then Tamaiya would start to cry or she would crawl up to him and coo loudly at him, making him forget about his pain and get up to take care of her. Once things settled down he finally managed to get some rest when Okami volunteered to take care of Tamaiya for a couple of hours and he slept like a rock for almost an entire day before he felt energized enough to go about his normal routine. During that time, Tamaiya started crawling more than usual and was even trying to talk to him and Okami, she would say little words or noises and point to something.
One day, while things were calm and peaceful, Battousai sighed happily as he put Tamaiya down for a nap, she had been awfully fussy for some reason that day and didn't want to go to sleep but he finally managed to get her to hold still. He sat against the wall and started to clean and sharpen his swords when he suddenly heard an all too familiar groan. He looked over and saw Tamaiya wiggling around to get comfortable before going to sleep once more, he smiled and went back to his task. After he finished cleaning his swords he set them aside and laid his head against the wall, closing his eyes to take a quick nap before Tamaiya woke up again. Just as he started to drift off to sleep he felt a tug on his gi and he looked down to see a fully awake and smiling Tamaiya as she tugged on his sleeve, trying to pull herself onto his lap, he smiled and picked her up, "I thought you were asleep."
"No!" she giggled
"No? Listen, I'm tired and I want to take a nap and I'm sure you're tired too, aren't you?"
"No!"
"I need to teach you some new words."
Tamaiya giggled and pointed to his swords, "Da!"
Battousai smiled, "That's my sword."
"Swor! swor!" she mimicked
"That's right, do you need a change?"
"No!"
Battousai smiled and checked her diaper, "You liar, come on then, let's get you cleaned up and back to sleep."
Battousai changed her diaper and she giggled at him, trying to kick him as he put her clothes back on, getting a chuckle out of him, "Hey, don't kick me."
Tamaiya spit bubbles at him and he smiled and leaned down, rubbing his nose against hers, his bangs tickling her face as he did so. She reached up and grabbed hold of his bangs, yanking hard, getting him to cry out softly, "Ow! Hey that's my hair, you got your own, let go."
"No!"
"Yes, I need my hair.."
Battousai jerked his head back, ripping out the hair that Tamaiya had in her fist as he did so. She giggled as he rubbed his now sore head, getting him to smile, "Ok, I guess I don't need it, then. You're an evil little thing, you know that?"
Tamaiya squealed and covered her eyes before moving them and yelling, "Ah!"
Battousai chuckled and covered his eyes, "Where's Tamaiya? There you are!"
Tamaiya giggled and reached for his hair again but he moved and covered his eyes again, "Where's Tamaiya? There you are!"
Tamaiya giggled loudly and Battousai kissed her forehead before she patted his scar saying, "Da!"
"That's my scar, Tamaiya."
"Boo boo!"
"Yeah, it's an old boo boo but it's better now."
Tamaiya smiled and rolled over onto her stomach and started to crawl around the room as Battousai watched her with a smile, "Where you going, huh?"
Tamaiya crawled over to his swords and tried to grab one, Battousai immediately ran to her and picked her up, "No, no, no, you can't play with my swords, Tamaiya, they'll hurt you."
"Boo boo!"
"Yeah, they'll give you a boo boo, look."
Battousai unsheathed his sword slightly and ran his thumb over the blade just enough to draw blood before showing it to Tamaiya, "See, it'll hurt you."
"Ow!"
"Yeah, ow, now you leave them alone and go back to sleep, ok?"
"No!"
Battousai smiled and put her on his shoulder, patting her back lightly, "Come on now, I want to take a nap."
"No na!"
Battousai smiled, "Do you want me to sing to you?"
She giggled and slapped his shoulder, "Ok, now... what can I sing that'll put you to sleep... I know one, now how did it go? Oh yeah, twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder where you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder where you are."
Battousai had to sing it several more times before she finally drifted off to sleep, snoring softly against his shoulder. He smiled and laid her down on the futon and covered her up before going over to the wall and putting his swords into his belt, "Might as well stay up, no point in..."
He paused when he heard a tap on his door, quickly answering it to see Katsura and Yoshi, the field chief standing there, "Yes sir, what can I do for you?"
"I heard you singing in here and I was wondering if anything was going on."
"Um... no, no sir, everything's fine, I was... just bored is all."
Katsura and Yoshi looked at one another before raising an eyebrow at him, "Are you hiding something, Himura?" Yoshi asked
"No sir, why would I..."
They all heard a soft sound, like a young girl, coming from behind Battousai and he flushed, getting a grin out of Katsura, "Do you have company, Kenshin?"
"Um... no sir, I'm... I'm by myself, you know me, I don't have women over."
The two men looked at one another and Katsura gently pushed Battousai aside, "Let's see who it is."
"Katsura, wait sir! It's not what you think..."
Katsura and Yoshi looked down at the futon and saw it moving slightly, getting both men to smile at the flushed manslayer, "You lied, Himura, come on girl, get up and introduce yourself." Yoshi laughed softly as he went up to the futon.
"Yoshi wait!"
Before Battousai could stop him, Yoshi jerked back the blanket and he and Katsura both let out a gasp of surprise when they saw Tamaiya, "Kenshin... that's a baby, what're you doing with a baby?"
"Well, about two months ago I was out on patrol and I found this woman and she told me to look in the bushes and I found Tamaiya. Her parents were killed and no one wanted her so I... took her in, but she's no trouble, I can take care of her on my own and I can still fight, I've been doing it since I've had her... don't make me give her away, I can..."
Katsura smiled and laid a hand on his mouth to shush him, "Hold on, calm down, Kenshin, I'm not going to make you get rid of her. As long as you can still fulfill your duties it's fine with me, but you have to keep an eye on her."
Battousai smiled, "I will, sir, don't worry about that, she's really not that much trouble once you learn how to take care of her."
Yoshi chuckled, "I never thought I'd live to see the day that our most skilled and feared manslayer would fall in love with a child."
"Well... she kind of grows on ya, and I don't mean to be rude sirs, but... can you... leave now?"
Katsura arched an eyebrow at that request, "Why, Kenshin?"
"Well... I finally got her to sleep and normally when you talk loudly she..."
Battousai paused and let out a groan when Tamaiya started crying, "Oh! I just got her to sleep! Hey, hey, come on, you're alright, Tamaiya."
Battousai picked her up and tried to comfort her, not noticing the smiles on his leaders' faces as they watched him soothe the crying infant. He laid her on his shoulder and she patted his back and yelled, "Da! Da!"
Battousai looked behind him and smiled when he saw she was pointing to the two men beside of them, "That's Katsura and Yoshi, they're my leaders."
"E ers!"
"Yeah, say hi to Katsura."
Katsura smiled and patted her on the head, "Hello there, so what's her name, Kenshin?"
"Tamaiya."
"It suits her, hello there little one." Yoshi said softly while making a strange face at her, getting her to cry softly.
"Hey now, Yoshi won't hurt you, he's harmless."
"No!" She yelled as she put her face into Battousai's neck to hide from Yoshi.
The three men laughed and Katsura patted Battousai on the shoulder, "I'll let you get back to parenting, sorry we woke her up."
"It's alright, sir, she would've gotten up just as soon as I tried to take a nap any ways."
Katsura chuckled and Tamaiya started cooing loudly, "Ami, ami!"
"Ami? What's ami?" Yoshi asked
"Ami is short for Okami, you want to go see Okami?"
"Ah!" she giggled
"Ok, lets go see Okami then, say bye to Katsura."
"Bye!"
Katsura and Yoshi smiled at one another as Battousai left the room with Tamaiya. Yoshi nudged Katsura and laughed, "Can you believe he kept that kid away from us for so long?"
"No, he seems to be a good father though, I wondered why he had changed so much, perhaps this child is just what he needs."
"What do you mean, sir?"
"When Tomoe died he became this cold, heartless killer, he never thought twice about killing or what he did, he didn't even care if he lived or died. But now he's happy and full of life, I think this child is his new sheath."
"You mean she's his sanity?"
"Yes, I think that this child is just what he needs to get back to normal."
Later that night the inn was attacked by the Shinsengumi and Battousai was fighting in his usual way, brutally and effectively. Somehow, a few of the soldiers got past him and ran into the inn to look for Katsura, Battousai ran after them and went to Katsura's room, killing the soldier that was in there, "You alright, Katsura?"
"Yes, thank you, Kenshin."
"Where's the other two?"
Battousai suddenly heard a shrill cry from upstairs and fear clutched his stomach as he realized who was crying, "Tamaiya!"
He ran upstairs and bust into his room just as he saw one of the soldiers trying to pick up Tamaiya, "Get away from her!"
The soldier turned around and swung at Battousai, he ducked down and thrust upwards at him but Tamaiya screamed suddenly and he looked over to her, giving the soldier enough time to slash him across the stomach. He fell to the ground and saw Tamaiya a few feet from him crying loudly, annoying the soldier, "I'm tired of that kid."
Battousai's eyes flashed with anger and he got up and moved in front of the soldier, locking their swords together so he could look him in the eyes, "You can do whatever you want to me, but you will not hurt my child!"
Battousai knocked his sword away and slashed him across the chest, the soldier collapsed on the ground and he ran over and picked up Tamaiya, "It's ok, little one, I'm here, it's ok, he's dead now. He's not going to hurt you, I promise."
Battousai heard someone come into the room but didn't have enough time to put Tamaiya down and grab his sword before he felt something embed deep into his shoulder. He cried out in pain and Tamaiya started screaming again, as if in pain herself, he quickly set her down and grabbed his sword, thrusting it into the man behind him. The soldier gasped in pain and pulled his sword out of Battousai's shoulder before he turned around and thrust his sword into the Shinsengumi member's throat.
Battousai looked outside and saw the remaining Shinsengumi members fleeing as his comrades cheered at their victory. He sighed and sheathed his sword before picking up the screaming child, desperately trying to calm her down, "Shh! It's ok, Tamaiya, it's ok, what's wrong?"
Battousai saw blood running down her face and his eyes went wide with fear, "Oh no! You're hurt! I can't tell if it's your blood or mine! Come on, I'll clean you up."
He quickly went downstairs to the kitchen and started to clean her up, relieved to find that most of the blood wasn't hers. When he finally got her clean he saw a horizontal cut on her cheek, identical to his own except it was on her right cheek, "You're hurt, I'm so sorry, my little one, I didn't mean to let them hurt you. Hold still let me clean it."
As he was cleaning the wound Katsura and Okami came running in, a look of panic on their faces, "Kenshin, are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Katsura."
"Why is she crying?"
"She's hurt. One of the soldiers snuck up on me and stabbed me in the shoulder and it caught her face."
They both looked at the wound and Okami sighed happily, "It could've been worse."
"I know, I know."
Katsura cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "Kenshin, I hate to tell you this but you need to head into Kyoto."
"Why!"
"The Shinsengumi took some of our troops for interrogation and we need you to go and rescue them."
"What about Tamaiya? I can't just leave her."
"I'll take care of her, Mr. Himura, you go and fight." Okami said as she took the infant from the frantic young man.
"Thank you, I'll be back soon."
Battousai ran out of the inn and headed into the city, quickly catching up to the small group of soldiers and eliminating them before untying his comrades, "Thanks Himura, we owe you one."
"Just get back to the inn and hurry before anyone else comes."
"Yes sir."
They ran off towards the inn and Battousai started to follow but was stopped when a group of soldiers stepped in front of him, "It's Battousai!"
"Let's get him!"
"Wait, I don't want to fight you, I just want to get home, lay down your arms and let me pass."
"Not a chance, get him!"
They charged at him but he simply blocked them and tried to reason with them, "I have no quarrel with you, just let me pass, I don't want to kill you!"
"You think we're going to let the most feared manslayer leave here alive! You're wrong, now die Battousai!"
Battousai knocked his sword away and slashed him across the chest, easily taking down the unskilled soldiers before he stopped to catch his breath, "I don't know... how much longer I can do this... I can't stand killing anymore..."
He heard a soft whimper beside of him and he looked over to see a young girl kneeling beside one of the soldiers he'd just killed. She appeared to be about four years old, her clothes were dirty and she had tears going down her face as she shook the soldier's shoulder, "Daddy... wake up Daddy... please wake up."
Battousai's eyes went wide and his heart sunk into his stomach when he realized what he'd just done, "Oh no... I just killed her father right in front of her! What am I gonna do?"
The little girl continued to shake the fallen soldier and plead with him and Battousai couldn't stand it anymore. He sheathed his sword and knelt beside of the young child, touching her shoulder lightly, "Hey kid..."
She looked up at him with big, teary brown eyes and choked out, "My Daddy won't wake up."
"I know, you... you can't wake him up, he'll never wake up."
The little girl suddenly reached up and grabbed his gi, clutching the bloody material tightly in her little hands as she cried to him, "Please wake him up! Please wake my Daddy up!"
Battousai felt actually tears come to his eyes as he stared down at the little child, forcing his voice to be as calm as he could, "I... I can't... I can't wake him up, he's dead."
"Dead? What's that?"
"Dead is where... where you sleep forever, you never wake up."
"My Daddy's... dead?"
"Yes, he's dead, I'm sorry, if I could wake him up I would."
The little girl was quiet for a long moment then she burst into tears as she yelled at Battousai, "You... you made my Daddy dead!"
"W... what?"
"You made my Daddy dead!"
Battousai's heart shattered into small fragments as the little girl curled into a little ball and started to cry harder. He let his own tears slid down his face as he reached over and pulled the small child into his arms, running his hand through her bloody hair as he tried to comfort her, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, little one... I... I didn't want to kill him... I want to wake him up for you but I can't... oh I'm so sorry!"
Battousai looked around at the dead soldiers and realized that they all must have been fathers to a child like the one he had in his arms. He took the man's sword from his belt and stood up before he started running down the road, the little girl still curled up in his arms, "Where do you live?"
"Near... near the... Tokiya inn..."
Battousai quickly arrived at a small house a couple of miles from the Tokiya inn, there he saw a frantic woman calling out into the night, "Miko! Miko, answer me!"
Battousai went up to the woman and held the little girl out to her, "Excuse me, is this your child?"
"Miko! Oh thank you, sir, thank you! Have you seen my husband? He has short hair and a cut on his face."
Battousai dropped his gaze to look at the ground, "He's... dead... he was killed just recently..."
The woman let a tear fall from her eyes, "I knew he shouldn't have gone out tonight..."
"I know it's not much but... is this his sword?"
He held out the sword to her and she smiled as she took it from him, "Yes, that's my husband's. Thank you so much for returning my little girl."
Battousai clutched his hands into fists, hard enough to draw blood as he spoke softly to the woman, "Please ma'am... don't thank me... I've done nothing in my life worth thanking, I'm truly sorry for your lose, excuse me."
Battousai turned around and left without another word, the little girl's words still echoing in his mind as he ran back to the inn, "You made my Daddy dead! You made my Daddy dead!"
He stopped near the edge of the city and let out a cry as if he were in battle before he dropped to his hands and knees, tears of guilt streaming down his face, "I can't do this anymore! I can't take away another child's father! I won't let my little girl grow up with a murderer for a father! This war is over, they don't need me anymore, I just can't stand to take another life!"
Battousai dried his eyes and stood up, taking his sword out of his belt and looking at the bloody blade, "Tomoe... I promised you that once this war was over I would never kill again, and now I have a new reason to keep that promise. I don't want to take lives anymore, I don't want Tamaiya to know me as a heartless manslayer that kills fathers and loved ones. This war is over for me, I no longer need to wield this sword and kill, I've taken so many lives and I know I can't repent for them all but I'm going to try. From this moment on, Battousai is no more, I swear... I will never kill again!"
He stuck his sword into the ground and hurried off to the inn, quietly slipping inside and heading up to his room, relieved to find Tamaiya asleep. He gently wrapped her up in a blanket before gathering up some of his things and stuffing them into his bag, "Come on, Tamyaiya, we're leaving, we're gonna start a new life, just you and me."
Battousai snuck out of the inn and headed off into the woods, never looking back as he slipped into the darkness with his child in his arms. He passed by a few fallen soldiers on the path out of Kyoto, saying the only two words that he could manage, "Never again... never again..."