Artemis Fowl: The Kindergarten Catastrophe
Disclaimer I never have, don't have, and never will have the rights to Artemis Fowl. If I did, I'd be rich, and more annoying then I am now.
Chapter Four: Evil Laughter
Author's Note: I think that Foay may have discovered my story and mind-wiped me, because I'm at such a loss for ideas! AAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Also, I made up the Atlantis Contention. And I just changed my pen name from Mulch Diggums to Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlipe! Hope you don't mind! Anyway, on to our little fanfic:
Holly was growing desperate enough to just go in the school without permission, risking loss of magic. It was either that, or ask Commander Root for help. She sighed, bracing herself.
"Foaly?"
"Yeah?" she could hear him finishing off a carrot.
"I…" She gulped, "needtotalktoroot." For some reason, saying it very fast made it all better. Sort of.
"Well, well, well. Our little fairy commando is finally asking for help. I'll put him on." At the moment, Holly could kill the pompous centaur. Or at the very least kick him in the hairy butt. She decided to just grind her back teeth until Root got on.
Inside the school, Mulch was having problems. All the little kids were listening to the one that headmistress had warned him about. What was his name? Art-something. Something kinda girly, he remembered that much. But now…. The little monsters had ruined his plan with that safety officer! The kid, he was the short one, so Mulch was referring to him as 'Hey, you, Shorty' was becoming rebellious. He might even somehow let the LEP in, something Mulch couldn't let happen.
Artemis, who of course was 'Hey, you, Shorty', was busy wrecking mayhem. Or, at least, having others do so. All he had done was quickly draw aside the two meanest bullies, and promised that if they could get him in charge of the class, he would get rid of naps. He was wondering where Butler was, as he usually stood with the other bodyguard, Horace. There was only one other kid with a bodyguard, Wallace Matthew Henry Jacob Miltwall the Eighth. The other students called him Eight, much to his annoyance. But it would just so happen; he was absent that day, along with Horace. And Butler was in the bathroom. What a coincidence.
The bullies know only as Moe and Bo, were currently running around the room, and knocking things over. How very sophisticated. Just then, he noticed it. A strange, moving heat haze was passing the window, for the third time. He walked over, opening the window. Just as the haze, which was doing something a lot like pacing was about to pass, he threw his small hand out, hitting Holly in the chest. He gasped in shock. The 'haze' was solid! Not only that, it seemed to really be a small girl, wearing some sort of futuristic suit, helmet and wings. She buzzed out of sight almost as soon as he saw her, but he knew what he had seen. Something very unreal.
Captain Short had been pacing back and forth in front of the window, waiting for the Commander to think of something. Of course, she was thinking too. She never saw the dark haired kid look out the window, and her back was turned when he silently opened it. However, she could have seen the hand. But, she ran straight into it. Stupid, and painful. It hurt so much; she was shocked out of her shield for a second. Just a brief second, but she saw his eyes take in all of her, from her helmet, to her suit, to her wings. Not good.
Root seemed to agree with that statement, for it would seem that Holly had spoken aloud.
"SHORT!" she winced. This would not end good. She could feel it.
"Yes sir, Commander?"
"WHAT WAS THAT! THAT MUD BRAT GOT YOU RIGHT IN THE CHEST! NOW YOU HAVE TO MIND WIPE AT LEAST HIM, MAYBE OTHERS!" Holly was glad that that was over and done with. Her hearing was gonna be gone in a few years, for sure. But wait. The kid was still at the window. Maybe he could gain her an invitation.
"Commander, I'm going to ask the kid for and invite."
"SHORT! YOU DO THAT, AND YOU'LL LOSE YOUR MAGIC! YOU CAN'T ASK FOR AN INVITE! ATLANTIS CONVENTION 2665! 'ALL INVITATIONS MUST BE OFFERED BY HUMANS'!" ok. Maybe not. Just then, the kid acted.
"If you are a fairy, as I believe you to be, why are you here?" Holly was just as startled as Artemis. He hadn't planed on talking.
Mulch chose then to act. He took a deep breath, steadying his nerves.
"Class, Safety officer, I have an announcement. I'm actually a fairy. Dwarf, really," he yelled. The 'safety officer' fainted. The kindergartners screamed. Artemis rolled his eyes. And not because of Mulch's announcement. At first, he had been rather pleased with the ultimate reaction. Then he realized that the chaos was not his doing. It was the appearance of a small, flying LEP officer.
"D'arvit," he cursed, trying to run. The officer casually tagged him with her Neutrino. Three guesses who she was.
What happened? Some might be asking. Well, Holly, acting on an impulse, had shown herself to Artemis. He hadn't been shocked at all, simply letting her in. she had unshielded, shot Mulch, and was now trying to convince a whole room of kindergartners to BE QUIET! Plus the 'headmistress' was pounding on the door. MAJOR headache coming on.
"You could ask for help," Foaly's voice was sooooo annoying. But then, maybe he could help.
"Ok, how do I keep this from spiraling to destruction?" Artemis watched the room, silently, then went up to Holly.
"Excuse me, fairy, but I have managed to exert some control over the class. How may I be of service?" his voice was sincere, but his brain was figuring a way to gain something from this.
Holly was more then a little surprised. Instinct told her to ignore the little Mud Boy, but he did let her in… just then, Foaly's voice filtered in.
"Holly, according to my files, the door will be broken down in approximately ten minutes, if that crazy Mud Lady keeps it up." She could hear him sigh.
"I need to come up and stop time. I can do it very locally, in just that classroom. Write 'field trip today' on the board," he said all of this very fast.
Twenty minutes later, there was no sign of there ever having been a LEP disaster. All there was was twenty-two sleeping kindergarteners. Right before Foaly had come with the time stop, Holly had knocked them out. Foaly finished up with the last mind wipe, and started to pack up. Holly looked at Root. Not the best idea. He was redder then he had ever been.
"Short. Pack. Up. Now." Was all he said. It was all that was necessary. She did silently, vowing to be early to work for the rest of the week, and to do all her paper work. She sighed. 'I hate Mondays' she thought. At least she knew she would never see any of these Mud Brats again. And she had her perp.
Six Years Later"I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?" said a cold voice behind her.
Holly turned, her elbows raised for combat.
"No," sighed the boy melodramatically, "I suppose not."
Holly put on her best brave face.
"Stay back, Human. You don't know what you're dealing with."
The boy laughed. "I believe, fairy, that you are the one unfamiliar with the facts."
Fairy? He knew she was a fairy.
"I have magic, mudworm. Enough to turn you and your gorilla into pig droppings."
The boy took a step closer. "Brave words miss, but lies nonetheless. If, as you say, you had magic, you would no doubt have used it by now. No, I suspect you have gone too long without the Ritual and you are here to replenish you powers."
Holly was dumbfounded. There was a human before her, casually spouting sacred secrets. This was disastrous. Catastrophic. It could mean the end of generations of peace. If humans were aware of a fairy subculture, it was only a matter of time before the two species went to war. She must do something, and there was only one weapon left in her arsenal.
The mesmer is the lowest form of magic and requires only a trickle of power. There are even certain humans with a bent for the talent. It was within the ability of even the most drained fairy to put a compete mind kibosh on any human alive.
Holly summoned the final dribble of magic from the base of her skull.
"Human," she intoned, her voice suddenly resonating with bass tones, "Your will is mine."
Artemis smiled, safe behind his mirrored lenses. "I doubt it," he said, and nodded curtly.
Holly felt the dart puncture the suit's toughened material, depositing its load of curare and succinylcholine chloride-based tranquilizer into her shoulder. The world instantly dissolved into a series of Technicolor bubbles and, try as she might, Holly couldn't seem to hold on to more then one thought. (A/n this is totally copied from the first Artemis Fowl. Sorry! )
Artemis looked down on his captive. For a minute, he saw her out side a window, but it went away. Odd, he had never seen her before. But then the flash was gone, and he became himself. Bent on gold.