Chapter 3: You'll never hold me back

Warning: This chapter includes HBP spoilers...for anyone who is crazy enough to have not red it yet…I say…READ!

The death of Dumbledore shocked them all, and left them wondering what they would do without his wisdom. Everything seemed hopeless, and it seemed that The dark side would always emerge victorious. This time they had succeeded immensely, by killing the man who was the foundations of everything they fought with, and the only being who Voldemort had been afraid of. The only one who drew a line that the Dark Lord was too afraid to cross. And now that line had been vanquished, and Dumbledore was not there to draw it once again.

Now the only one left that the dark Lord feared was Harry Potter.

From the night that she convinced Harry away from Dumbledore's unmoving side, in the back of her mind she had suspected him to break up with her. After all, first his parents, then Sirius and now Dumbledore, who was to say it wouldn't be her next? Slowly the dark side were wearing down Harry. Taking away those he loved, making him weaker. Making him feel he had no one in the world, and could have no one to help him. He was isolating himself from those he loved, those who could help him, though he wanted them safe.

After he had broken up with her at the funeral, she had thought about this. When he had done it, she had stayed strong, though when she had left, she was hastily wiping away stray tears that ran down her face. Although she had prepared herself for it, it still hurt deep inside. She also realised it was not just because of his 'noble reasons', but also something that started to pang in her sides, getting her attention. At first she thought it was silly, just her brain trying to find reasons. But it became more and more dominant, eating away at her doubts. It was the fact that she thought he felt she couldn't take care of herself, that she would get lost to him easily and he would suffer more grief. She wanted more than anything to prove him wrong. To prove to Harry that she could still be at his side, so that he would not have to walk alone. Later she kicked herself for being selfish and not seeing the real reason why he had said that. Her selfishness clouded all reason, as sheer determination took over, and she set her mind to trying to change his.

Harry was to stay at the Weasley's for the summer, until he had fully decided what to do with the next year, though he seemed sure of his path. Mr. and Mrs. Weasly were sure they could possibly change his mind. Before he would have been much safer at Hogwarts, though the fact that the dark side had managed to infiltrate Hogwarts once was a little unsettling, they thought that he would be a lot safer around professors, who could protect him. But as much as they tried to convince him, he just politely declined. Even Lupin, Tongs and other members of the order tried to convince him, but he declined. Every time someone asked him, Ginny watched him closely. His eyes showed how certain he was, though inside, she saw there was also a hint of fear. She could tell he was scared, and also tell he was lonely, even though surrounded by people. People who wanted to help him, people that he pushed away. Slowly he was cutting off everyone he cared for from his life. And that made him more than alone, in these times where he needed people the most.

Ginny kept her distance, though she wanted to convince him. He seemed all too quiet and avoided everyone's gaze. Including her own. She didn't know if it was Dumbledore's death, the weight of his task, or both. Ginny wanted to talk to him, but sensed he didn't want to talk to her. So she kept away from him, observing him in silence, and waiting for him to change. Though she sometimes wondered if he would.

One day in the holidays, Harry went to the Dursley's, as Dumbledore had said to do before he turned 17. Everyone, including Ginny, wondered why he was going. Even if he did know, he was very secretive about it. Everyone kept silent about it when around him, as he seemed not to want to talk about it. Even Ron and Hermoine seemed to be subdued when around him. Ginny knew they were going with him, and they seemed to feel much the same as Harry, though not on such high levels. They didn't have the whole of the wizarding world counting on them, and them alone. No one did, but Harry.

When he got back, two days after leaving, he didn't speak of it. He acted as if nothing had happened, though he seemed to have a weighing sense of dread on him, as if he had lost something at the Dursley's. Everyone was even more subdued around him, and seemed to avoid him whenever possible.

Ginny went and asked Ron if she should talk to Harry, hoping for an answer to help her perhaps ease her troubled mind. Ron just scowled at her.

'Ginny, Harry has a lot more important things to think about instead of you. What makes you think that he will want to talk to you when he doesn't talk to anyone else?' He said with a raised voice. Ginny was glad that they weren't having this conversation with the rest of the house.

'Well…I dunno, Ron. I guess-'

'wait,' He said butting in. 'You think he will talk to you because…you used to be together? Well Ginny, that's not going to work.'

'No it's not that Ron,' She said, though it sort of was. 'I don't know, Ron. I just thought he might give me a chance. Not just because we used to be together, but the fact that everyone else seems to be too afraid to talk to him. But I'm not. I know he needs someone to talk to. I want to help him.'

Ron sighed. Ginny noticed how weary he looked for the first time. Her usual joyful brother had lost all of it in the past weeks.

'Ginny, I know that you want to help him. I know exactly how you feel,' He stopped for a moment, as if trying to get his words together, so they were not a jumbled mess. 'But Harry doesn't want to be helped.'

Although Ron's words stayed in her mind, she did not believe him. She spent many nights lying in bed thinking. Thinking about the opportune moment to talk to Harry, and what she would talk about. In the end, she decided to stop planning and just do it. It was causing her too much trouble thinking about it, and she didn't like the feeling of uneasiness she was getting from thinking about talking to Harry. It annoyed her, feeling uneasy to someone like him. But although she hated it, she couldn't control her feelings. She decided to get it over with, before her feelings of uneasiness took over.

She chose the day time to do it, mainly because at night time he seemed to become more and more subdued by the people around him. She knew he was in his room, as always, and she stood outside, composing herself. It was not like her to be nervous, but her hands were sweating and she was too afraid to go in. She stared up at the door, wringing her hands as thoughts raced through her mind. Ginny's stomach was twisting as she thought about knocking, but she was just too nervous. She was cursing her emotions for doing this to her, and she tried to fight them. In the end she moved her hand up and gave two shaky knocks.

There was no answer for quite some time, and Ginny became even more nervous. Then she heard him speak.

'Who is it?' Harry asked in a quiet voice. If she hadn't been listening hard, she would have missed it.

'Harry…It's Ginny. Can I…come in?' She asked nervously. There was a moments silence. Then she heard a slight rustling and a creak of floorboards. She hastily wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans before the door creaked open. She looked up at Harry, who smiled slightly. Very slightly. But that tiny difference to his usual dark face made her uneasiness start to disappear. She smiled slightly back up at him, hands clenched together. He motioned into the room and she went in with him, closing the door behind them.

The room was bathed in light, and very messy. Things were thrown on the ground, books, magazines. There was one at her feet which was open and looked to have been airborn at one point. Its cover read "Horcruxes: How to find and destroy them" She looked at it for quite some time, the title reminding her of earlier times. Harry had sat down on his unmade bed, and was watching her. She didn't notice until he cleared his throat, and she looked up at him.

'What are you thinking about?' He asked her quietly. She smiled slightly as she remembered the last time he had asked her that. Those had been different times. She realised that she had been fretting so much about talking to him, that she had forgotten what she would say to him. What was she supposed to say to him? Before she had wanted to prove him wrong about her, but as she had watched him through the summer she had started to think about what she was thinking. Harry had much better things to do then listen to her trying to prove herself. Much more important things than her. She also wanted to find out if he wanted to talk, but her talk with Ron had changed that. She didn't know what to say.

'I…I don't know Harry.' She said looking down at the floor. There was silence once more, and then he sighed. Ginny kept her eyes on the floor.

'Ginny, look at me.'

Ginny didn't do anything for a little while, but then looked up. He was studying her closely. Then he sighed in slight annoyance and jumped up from the bed.

'Why is everyone afraid of me?' He cried. 'Ginny, you were the last person I expected to become uneasy around me. But I suppose that's all I can expect, everyone thinks I'm a monster now.'

'That's not true Harry. No one thinks you're a monster.'

'Well then explain why no one meets my gaze? Why everyone seems to change paths when they see me coming?' He cried. He sat back down on the bed again and put his head in his hands. Ginny felt terrible for feeling uneasy around him, but she kept standing there.

'They don't know what to do,' She said quietly. 'Everyone is lost. There is no end that anyone can see. You're the only one they know who can take them to the end. It scares them that you are lost like them.'

She said this without thinking, though it came from somewhere. She watched for his reaction. He looked up at her.

'Do you feel the same?' He asked quietly.

'I don't know what to feel anymore.' She said, looking out the window for a moment as tears threatened to show. He was silent for longer than ever before, and she kept looking out the window for fear of judgement.

'Neither do I,' He said. Ginny turned back to him. 'I don't know what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to turn to, or who to trust.'

Ginny watched him. He seemed distant, as if yet again he was trying to answer questions.

'You can trust Ron, you can trust Hermoine, you can trust the order-'

'Snape was in the order, Ginny! He was someone who was supposed to be trusted, and he killed Dumbledore! Everyone trusted him, and he turned on them. How can any of us trust each other when no one can be trusted fully?' He yelled, butting into her sentence. He was up on his feet again, though this time he stared out the window.

'There is a difference between trusting someone and fully trusting someone, Harry. The dark lord wants you to believe that you can't trust anyone, but really you can. Don't fall into a trap he has set.'

'But who can I trust?' He asked.

'Ron and Hermoine. You know you can trust them. Their worried about you. You need to trust at least them, if any.' She said.

'And what about you?' He asked, turning. She didn't particulary want to answer, but she managed to say something.

'Don't worry about me.' She said, looking away. She felt his hand on her arm and she turned to look into his troubled eyes.

'Ginny, I still love you. I can't help it. I just don't want you to get hurt. I can't lose someone again.' He said quietly. She nodded,

'I love you too Harry, though I don't want to hold you back.'

'You'll never hold me back.'

A/N: Hope you all liked that chappie…I know it was a bit random and stuff but yes…review! I shall now commence shout outs. And thankyou to my Beta Ellen or -.x.-Prongs-.x.-

Tricksty One: yes libby it is a decent twist..but im not telling you what it is! And I am going to write a D/H…but I don't know about G/B…ahh well thanks for reviewing

Checkered Squares: Cam you asked for an update after reading chapter one. I just hope you read the full story before saying that hehehe

-.x.-Prongs-.x.-: Thankyou..im glad you like it Ellen…and your just gonna have to wait to find out why their in the hospital wing grins evily and way..you will need a lot of money to buy all those things from NZ since a gold one ring costs $489 alone…ok and Harry is Saint Potter because Dean was simply trying to make Ginny not want to be with him…by saying he wouldn't want to have sex with her…yes and I hope you understand now lol…and I may not be able to avoid 'it' forever, but I can avoid it for as long as I can hehehehe..thanks for the long review…keep it up

RustC: Thanks for the review and I hope you keep enjoying it :)

I have also just enabled anonymous reviewing…so anyone can review now:) You are welcome to try and guess why there in the hospital wing in your reviews…some of my friends have already had a go hehehe…hope you all enjoy this chap and tell me wot u think..i will update as soon as I can type:D

Many Happy Bananas.

Bolero Angel