Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Most of the conversation between Tonks and Remus in this chapter is from the actual Roleplay, The Phoenix Lament. Go to my author page for the link!

A/N: Also, thanks so much for the wonderful reviews! Your encouragements and compliments make me more eager to write and please the readers! Go to my LiveJournal for response to reviews! The link is in my author page, also.

In addition, I lied about the 3 parts. There will be probably few more chapters, probably ending with a- oh, you'll find out in the end…

Chapter 2

:O:

It had been a harsh night. Apparently, the newly recruited Death Eaters from Hogwarts have been practicing curses on innocent people in Hogsmeade. She was to collect the Death Eaters and bring them back to HQ for questioning.

Her original plan had been to find the group of Death Eaters and suddenly attack them while they weren't looking and surround them. However, they had not succeeded. The Death Eaters outnumbered the three Aurors, including herself, and only managed to get the hurt people to St. Mungos. You win some, you lose some…

Near the end, when the other two Aurors were down, the Ministry had sent more backup Aurors to finish them off. Unfortunately, they had chickened out when they saw the number of Aurors popping out of nowhere.

This was about two hours ago and Tonks was currently climbing the stairs to Remus' loft above the Leaky Cauldron. After stopping by St. Mungos to inform her worrying mother that she's fine, she headed to Remus. It was late now, probably past midnight, but she knew he'd be up waiting for her. He always did.

As she about to walk on the last step, she tripped. Over her own feet. Bugger! She was not a happy camper. Grudgingly, she stepped over the last stairs and looked for Remus' door. "Now what was his number…" she said to herself, straining to remember. Just then, she heard the door nearest to her right flung open.

"Nymphadora! Are you alright?" Remus asked, who probably heard Tonks trip making a loud clunk on the wooden floor.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, nothing broken," she said waving her arms like some drunk person after flinching slightly at the say of her name. No matter how many times she insisted he call her Tonks, he refused to. He was just too polite in many ways and she wanted to fix that. Remus eyed her worriedly, and led her to his door.

"I hope something serious didn't happen to get hold up like this," he said knowingly as he closed the door behind him. They walked into Remus' small loft. Emphasis on the small. Tonks walked over to the small table for two by the dining area, if you call that minuscule space a dining room.

"Oh, the usually I guess. Trying to arrest some midget Death Eaters cursing random people in Hogsmeade," she said bitterly.

"Ah, but why is your hair black. And long," he asked with raised eye brows. He knew her more than enough to know that she didn't like ordinary and dull things. She liked being eccentric and unique in her own way. Going all out, thus explaining her pink hair.

"Oh, I nearly forgot about them. Though, I wondered why black strings were getting in my eyes," she said and changing it back to her pink, short hair. She smiled weakly at him as he conjured up a teapot and mugs for them.

"Mm…" she said as she sipped the hot liquid and making her whole body warm, "So, how's your work at the Ministry?"

"Tedious," he replied. "So far, all I've been doing is paperwork. Apparently, Fenrir Greyback has been on a biting spree as of late and the Ministry is only just discovering his victims. I'll have to go out on some actual field work soon, but right now, it's pretty tiring. It's good work for me though. Can't say I don't need the money." He eyed the grubby loft warily. Money had always been tight.

Tonks looked at him with an expression that clearly stated that she couldn't care less. She didn't like it when he put himself down because of money or anything else. She decided to do bring up the topic, casually, that had been lingering in her mind for sometime.

"You know Remus, there's tons of room at my place. You can always move in," she said as if they were discussing the weather.

"I couldn't do that," Remus insisted. He didn't say this because it was a bad idea or because he didn't want to; he said it out of pride. He had received more than enough help from everyone in his life. It was high time he started dealing with life on his own.

Tonks resisted the urge to roll her eyes, it was common knowledge that Remus Lupin didn't like help from anyone else. But she tried again. "I mean, we don't get to see each other often because of our clashing work times. It would be just easier to live together..."she said carefully.

"Nymphadora, this isn't a personal thing. I just--I need to make it on my own. It's not you. It's more of a defining factor of my life. I've always had to try and make it on my own, aside from some of the help that you and Dumbledore have offered me in terms of a profession. I'd love to move in with you, but the timing isn't right," he told her, hoping she understood.

Tonks sighed deeply, "Is this how you're gonna be even when we get married?" Tonks cringed when she realized what had came out of her mouth. It just came out naturally and out of the blue. She looked up to Remus for his reaction.

"Is this how you're gonna be even when we get married?" Her voice ran through his mind. "Marriage?" he asked calmly. He honestly had never even thought about it.

"Uh...yeah. Marriage. Well, I thought...you have thought about us right?" she asked uncertainly. She had expected a bigger reaction from Remus and was surprised by his calmness.

"Well, sure, but never as far as marriage," he said bluntly. "I've never really envisioned myself getting married. I'm not the marrying type."

He had thought Tonks would date him, realize how horrendously wrong he was for someone as great as her, and move on to bigger, better things. He had never considered the fact that she may have expected more from their relationship.

Tonks face instantly dropped. She was disappointed. I thought he cared about me...I thought maybe he loved me...

"Y-you mean you never thought about us getting married? What do you mean you're not a marriage type?" Tonks asked hoping what she heard wasn't true.

"I'm not good enough to be your husband," he told her. "It's not that I don't care about you. It's just that, I could never support you the way a husband should. I'm a bum, Tonks. A poor, old, miserable, bum."

"Remus Lupin!" she shouted in rage. How can he just think of himself that way!

"Don't talk about yourself that way! Do you want me to repeat what I said 3 months ago! Do you? Because I will say it again and again until you get it through your head!" she looked furious and sad at the same time. She didn't know whether to cry or beat some sense into him.

"What I failed to say three months ago is that I don't think I'm ready for those kind of responsibilities. I know you can support yourself, but I don't think I'd be able to look in the mirror every morning knowing that I failed. Maybe I'm just too traditional. I'm sorry," he told her. "That's just how I feel."

Tonks looked teary eyed and defeated. There was an awkward silence in the small loft. Tonks turned away from him and said, "I-I'll go now."

She looked back to him for the last time then she apparated to her cubicle in the Auror HQ.

Lupin sighed, rubbing his hand through his already graying sandy brown hair. He didn't really know how he felt about Tonks. She made him so happy, made him feel so loved, yet that voice in the back of his mind kept convincing him otherwise.

You're too old for her. Look in the mirror. The two of you don't fit.

You're too broke. You'll never be able to provide for her or shower her with the luxuries she deserves.

You're a werewolf. You are meant to live alone; always and forever.

And sometimes, he believed it.