Note: This story takes place on Earth! (Just for fun).
Oasis-surfer: Hey, a new reviewer! Welcome aboard…lol. Thanks a lot for the great comments. Where do I get my inspiration you ask? Well, I just sit on the computer and start to type. Random thoughts develop as I write. To be honest, I scrap a LOT of what I write, as some of it is just too weird! Sometimes, too, the events which happen in these stories are based on family events! (Also, reviewers submit their funny ideas to me as well--feel free to do the same! Thanks for your reviews!
Lady-Kayte: Yay! Unlimited cookies! I'm there! I bow at your praise..hehe. Honestly, though, I owe you a trip to Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. :)
Tp-gurl: Pokemon! Yeah, my parents thought they were weird, too! I used to collect them with my brother. (The holographic cards were exciting!). Oh, yeah, I LOVE your idea! Jim will lose the swimsuit and keep the speedo! I'll definitely put that in! (And I'll make sure that you get full credit!)
LadyAmelia2008: LOL! Awesome suggestion! I'll put that in, too! (I'll also give to credit for your suggestion!) Well, hope you enjoy this chapter!
Jim woke up with a start and glanced around. He had fallen asleep with his head pressed against the window, so half of his face was slightly red.
Then, he remembered his uncomfortable situation with the bikini top. Jim peered around the minivan. Maybe, if no one realized that he was awake yet, he could open up Amelia's suitcase and pull out the coconut top. Sitting in front of him in an aisle seat was Delbert, who was sound asleep. A fat book entitled The Joys of Calculus was laying on his lap. Up ahead, Amelia was sitting in the passenger seat writing sailor progress reports. Jim wondered if the captain ever took a break.
Sarah was driving, of course, but she was talking enthusiastically to Amelia about types of washing detergent.
Perfect, Jim told himself. Now, all you have to do is reach back and find Amelia's suitcase. The action of finding the suitcase itself was hard enough. Even though Jim was right next to the trunk, it was difficult sifting through the bags with one arm while sitting normally on the bench.
Jim's right hand rapidly ran over grocery bags, a beach ball, and rolled up beach towels---but no suitcases. Once, the teen felt like he had reached the corner of a bag, but he only succeeded in prying off the lid of some container. All the while, Jim remained in his seat. He was afraid that if he turned around and actively searched the trunk, the adults would see him move and wonder what the heck he was doing.
"See, I think Tide is much better than any other detergent. If I use anything else, Jim will get this awful rash…" Sarah prattled on. Amelia muttered something in response, but it was obvious that the captain's attention was on her paperwork. Meanwhile, Delbert continued to snore.
Jim decided to turn around anyway. He took off his seatbelt and quickly peered over the van's large trunk. His heart skipped a beat when he finally spotted Amelia's large brown suitcase. The teen reached for it and…WHAM! The minivan sped over a pothole.
The teenager flipped over and landed head-first into the trunk. Jim yelped as his head landed in something gooey---and sweet.
Sarah gasped as she looked at her rearview mirror and saw her son's feet sticking into the air. Amelia raised an eyebrow at the unfolding accident, then returned to her reports. Delbert snorted, then quickly sat up in his seat.
"Upon my word," he cried excitedly, "a meteor has collided with the earth! Where is it?"
"Behind you," replied Amelia dryly, without turning.
"Ohhh…" Jim groaned, sitting up. His head had landed in a container filled with caramel. He quickly realized that when he had been feeling around for the bag, he had opened up the can.
Delbert screamed and clutched at his book. "An alien from the comet!"
"Jim! That caramel was for our apples," Sarah exclaimed, ignoring the sleepy doctor's statement.
The teen glared at his mom's back as the caramel oozed down his back and face. He had flipped over in the minivan and she was just worried about the future of her dessert.
"Well…uh…I was hungry," he replied lamely. If he told them the real reason, his mom would probably sign him up for weeks of yoga camp, if not therapy.
"I have food up here," Sarah said, waving a bag of rice chips with her free hand.
Jim's mind sped. "I wanted something sweet, so I thought one of the bags might have candy in it!"
Amelia turned to look at the teen. "Grope through my suitcase all you want; you won't find any treats in there, Mr. Willy Wonka."
Wanna bet? Jim thought. Instead, he chimed in, "Really, ma'am?"
This was practically being handed to him on a silver platter. That hope faded when the young captain gave him a cold, defiant glare.
"James Pleiades Hawkins!" Sarah cried. This time, she took her eyes off the road and eyed her son. "Get back to your seat and don't pretend to act like that perverted candy fairy!"
"Um, Sarah, I hate to interrupt, but…we're heading straight for a cornfield," Delbert announced. Indeed, the minivan had swerved off the road and was heading towards some farmer's crop.
Jim hastily climbed over and buckled himself in.
Sarah quickly jammed on the brakes and managed to stop the van in time to avoid a collision. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
"Now, Jim. I'm going to play some music. We're not far from our cottage, so don't say a word until we get there."
Jim nodded and rubbed his head. By now, the caramel had hardened into a firm crust and was acting like gel. Already clumps of hair were standing upright.
While Delbert returned to his thick book, Sarah grabbed a cassette and jammed it in.
"What song is it?" Jim asked, forgetting his vow of silence.
"Bananaphone," Sarah answered.
Jim cursed under his breath, but Delbert perked up. "I love this song. Did you know," the doctor said, turning to Jim, "that the banana is a body part…oops, I mean a bountiful fruit?"
The teen stared at Delbert. "Um, no, I didn't."
The minivan turned onto a graveled path. The terrain was beginning to flatten out and more and more sand was appearing.
The song started to sound warped, and the singer's cheery voice began to wobble.
Amelia's eyes narrowed. "The singer is atrocious," she said, mostly to herself.
"BaaaNAna phooone!" yelped the singer.
Jim covered his ears. "Ma, turn that off!"
"I can't," Sarah answered, her brow creasing. The cassette was now just repeating the word 'banana' over and over again.
"How interesting!" Delbert mused, as the cassette started to make a grinding, hissing noise. Amelia leaned forwards and punched the minivan's cassette slot. BAM! Yards and yards of tape hurtled out of the car.
The doctor readjusted his glasses and watched as Sarah and Amelia became covered with the cassette's innards.
Sarah managed to drive while totally entangled. When the minivan reached the cottage's driveway, she quickly stopped.
"We're here!" she sang out. Only Delbert seemed excited. Amelia looked like she was covered in brown seaweed, while Jim's head was covered in caramel. They stared at Sarah with confused expressions.
"Uh…whoopee," Jim muttered. What would the rest of the vacation be like?
---Poor Jim! Man, I pick on him a LOT! Will Delbert be next? Read on…I'll try to update faster!