Title: Just Another Gamble

Author: Sara and Lizzie

Rating: T

Disclaimer: We don't own Law And Order: Special Vicitims Unit. If we did, our favorite dectectives would be together. We don't own anything that we mention in the story that is owned by anyone else.

Author's Note: Ok, we're thrilled. Our goal was 10 reveiws per chapter, and we're getting that. But we're floundering here. Please, tell us how we're doing, are we in character, where should this go, etc. Please.

"There's no antidote for irony." -Something Corporate

Olivia stared, wide eyed at Kathy Stabler for a few seconds. She blinked, and closed the gap between the two of them with a few short steps.

"Kathy, I'm sorry." Olivia whispered.

Kathy smiled sadly. "When something like this happens, people scramble to find someone to blame. It's ironic that you and Elliot both blame yourselves."

Olivia didn't know what to say. She looked longingly towards the edge of the roof, and for one absurd moment, Kathy was afraid she would fling herself off of it.

"Nothing ever happened, Kathy. You need to know that." Olivia said deperately. Kathy stared straight into her eyes. She decided that her soon to be ex husband's partner was telling her the truth.

"Physically, no." Kathy said. Both of the women were speaking in hushed voices, as if afraid someone would overhear them. "I almost wish you had just slept together." Kathy said.

Olivia looked at her questioningly. Kathy continued. "If you two had given into the obvious magnetism between you and just had sex, I could yell. I could call you names. I could throw things, break stuff. But I realized in the car yesterday that you can't control…" Kathy's voice broke as her eyes filled with tears.

She swallowed. "You can't control who you fall in love with. If Elliot's in love with you, I don't think I can call it his fault."

Kathy watched as Olivia squeezed her eyes shut. "No." she whispered.

Kathy blinked back tears. "Olivia." She said shakily, saying the other womans name for the first time, "He comes home from here, and he's hardened. It's like a shield noone can penetrate. And then he talks to you, or talks about you, and he softens."

Olivia shook her head vigorously. "It's the job. I get it. He doesn't want to put it on you, that's why he calls-."

Kathy cut her off. "Olivia, I always know it's you when you call. His eyes shine." Olivia opened her mouth as if to protest, but Kathy kept going. "I saw everything this morning. He never took his eyes off of you."

Olivia refused to believe it. It would be the end of her if she entertained the thought that Elliot Stabler was in love with her. She shook her head again.

"He didn't need to shoot that man Olivia." Kathy said flatly. "But I know Elliot. And I know he wasn't thinking time, or separating him from you. He saw you, and you getting hurt. And he only saw one option. He loves you." Kathy hesitated. "I asked him."

Olivia turned away, and headed for the edge of the roof. Of course she didn't jump, but Kathy watched very closely as Olivia gripped the ledge and stared at the sky.

Olivia was completely overwhelmed. It was everything she wanted, yet it would inevitably destroy her. Elliot was her weakness, her downfall. And after six years of avoiding it all, the whole of it was staring her in the face.

She couldn't hide the tears in her eyes when she turned to face Kathy. "I never meant to, for any of this.." she trailed off.

"I know. It always nagged me Olivia. Those late nights. I always kept the word affair at the back of my mind." Kathy said, tears slipping down her cheeks. "But I believe you. I know that he wouldn't. That you wouldn't…" It was Kathy's turn to be at a loss.

"Thank you." Whispered Olivia. She was in disbelief. Kathy Stabler was telling her that Elliot was in love with her. It seemed incredibly surreal.

The two women stood on the roof, looking at each other. "I don't know what to say." Olivia remarked. She looked at the ground. "I feel blameable."

"We were kids, you know, when we got married. I loved him, and he loved me, but we never really had it." Kathy also averted her eyes. "I wasn't exactly honorable at all times."

Olivia digested what she was trying to say. "That a- word?" she suggested, meaning affair.

"There's a pharmacist at the hospital I work with a lot." Kathy admitted. "The male equivalent of you, I guess. I was so paranoid, and so jealous of you. You are the only person who can relate to my husband."

Olivia felt tears roll down her own cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry, be there for him." Kathy suggested, not really believing what she was saying. "You look terrified." She noted.

Olivia nodded, unable to stop the words from pouring out. "It was so far away before. Now, its smacking me in the face, forcing me to deal with it. I'm not scared of much, but I'm scared of this. It's a gamble now. I have something to lose."

Kathy looked at her watch, suddenly uncomfortable with this oddly intimate moment. "My sister's with the kids. I should try to be back before they all wake her up." She turned and headed for the door. "Olivia?" she called out before she walked away. "I need to know. "Do you love him?"

A few more tears slid down the dectective's cheeks. She nodded. "Always have." She whispered, more to herself than Kathy.

Kathy turned around, and headed back towards Olivia. She grasped one of the detective's hands. "Six years, hiding from love. Six minutes, it's in the open. It's ironic." She said. "But Olivia, don't run from it. Something like this… he loves you."

She dropped Olivia's hand, and half walked, half ran down the stairs,and away from Olivia, who was still standing there, staring at her hand, stunned. "Thank you." She whispered to the spot where Kathy had stood.

When she could move again, Olivia got herself back to the ledge. The sun was almost all the way up now. She had a victim to get a statement from, but she stayed there. She had never felt so many emotions at once before and it scared her.

She thought back. Until a few weeks ago, she had lived in blissful denial. She could pretend, easily, that she didn't love her partner. Then they had been searching a perp's house when he came in. He was conversing on his cell phone to someone, and they wanted to hear what he was saying, so they hid in a closet. They had never been so close to each other, and when she looked in his eyes, she saw what she was feeling.

Even after that, as the obvious sexual tension mounted, she just pretended she didn't feel the way she did. But it was fruitless now. She had said it, and she had heard that he felt the same way she did. Olivia squeezed her eyes shut again, unable to believe that the conversation with Kathy had actually happened.

She was suddenly angry again. Her job proved to her that she didn't have, couldn't have control over the world. But she liked to think she could have control over her own life, over her own emotions. She remembered everything she felt when Elliot kissed her in the car. Finding out that she lacked that control made her mad.

She was exposed now. She couldn't hide from Elliot or herself for much longer. The thought occurred to her that maybe she was just being childish and ridiculous and she was nothing like her mother. And she was strong, she could handle it. But the thought of letting someone get that close to her frightened her more than anything else. It was easier before, when he was unattainable.

Olivia hated to be alone. She would rather be on Mercer Street in Manhattan at 3:40 in the morning, surrounded by all types of people, than on a farm in West Virginia at the same time, surrounded by no one. Suddenly, up here, on this roof, surrounded by nothing but her feelings and her fear of them, she felt very alone.

Is this out of character? Please review guys. We need feedback. We're slaves to your opinions.