The Gilmore-Grey Union

By Michael Weyer

POV: Lorelai

I steel myself as I pick up the phone and dial the number. I know my mother and I have had some rows before but this promises to be the Helm's Deep of Emily Gilmore meltdowns. The call goes through and I hear her voice. "Hello, Lorelai."

"Wow, Mom, didn't know you were sideling for the Psychic Friends Network."

"I've been expecting your call. I assume you've heard from Rory."

"She phoned this morning."

"And you didn't tell me at once?"

"Well, I was a little busy trying to keep myself from collapsing in a nervous breakdown."

I hear her let out that great big sigh. "Lorelai, this is not a good thing."

"Oh, gee whiz, Mom, I'm sure glad you're here to tell me that!"

"I really don't need your sarcasm right now, Lorelai."

I sigh myself. "So how'd you hear, anyway? Did Rory call you?"

"No, Logan did."

My eyes widen. "Logan!"

"Yes, he found her and her…" I hear her take a huge breath. "Husband together and felt we should know immediately."

For some reason, I can't help but feel a real stab of relief that it wasn't Logan Rory married. I run a hand through my hair as I speak. "Well, now that we both know…how do we handle this?"

"They can't stay married."

"I agree with you on that." Boy, was that weird to hear myself say.

"Good. However, an annulment might not be as easy as we want, not to mention your father at least wants to meet this man."

I blink. "Wait…Dad wants to meet him?"

"Well, yes. I would think you would too. After all, he is now your…"

"Oh, God, don't say it."

"Son-in-law."

"Do you even listen to me, Mom? Seriously, do you?"

"Lorelai, I hardly think you're in a position to argue about not being listened to. For God's sake, your daughter got married while drunk!"

"I know, Mom! I've already yelled at her about it and it just caused more problems. What do you expect me to do?"

"I expect you to try to put a proper parental hold on her!" she snaps.

"Well, gee, I tried that when I wanted her to go back to Yale but something happened. What was it?" I tap my finger on my chin even though I know she can't see it.

"Lorelai, there's no need to-----"

"Oh, yeah, I remember! You and Dad sold me out and decided to put Rory up instead of sending her back to college like I wanted and you wanted!"

"Oh, so it's our fault this happened?"

"You know, maybe it is!" I yell into the phone. "Maybe if she'd been at Yale like she should have been, she would never have been in Atlantic City in the first place!"

"Your father and I have been trying to support her, to get her to understand her place------"

"As your favored daughter? Don't deny it, Mom. You've been giving her the life you wanted for me, the way you would have had me live!"

"Oh, that is perpostous!"

"Is it? Working at the DAR? Society lunches? All the stuff I didn't like, you're pushing on her."

"She's accepting it and doing quite well….."

"Mom…she had so much going for her. She was going to be a reporter before that bastard's father ruined her!"

"Lorelai------"

"And now she's married! Married! And you actually seem to be encouraging her on this!"

"I am not encouraging her!"

"No? Having her come home with hubby? At the least, you're telling her it's ok and it's not. God, if me and Christopher had done this, you'd have torn us a new one!"

"Christopher was different, Lorelai and you know it. I wanted you married to him as did your father and it was your own fault…"

I tune her out. I so do not need another tale of St. Christopher right now. "Mom, please. We need to get Rory out of this as soon as possible so she can try and carry on some semblance of a life."

"Again, I agree, Lorelai but we also want to at least meet this fellow and at least see what he's like."

I know what she means. She wants to see if there's a chance he's old money too in which case any lawyer called with be handling prenups instead of annulments. I rub my temples as I try to calm down. "Mom…she's my daughter."

There's a long pause and when she speaks I could swear she actually sounds sympathetic. "I understand that, Lorelai. I do. Children…do foolish things and you have to do your best to handle them. I…We will handle this. But just try to let your father and I do our best with it."

Which is like asking Tom Cruise to handle a psychiatric patient. "Mom…we'll talk later." I hang up and take a deep breath, trying to settle the anger inside me.

"Trouble with ze parents?" Michel says as he wanders up.

I glare at him. "Do not push me today, Michel."

He raises his eyebrows. "Oh, really? I assume this has something to do with your daughter's nuptials?"

My head shoots up and I stare at him wide-eyed. "How did you-----?"

"Paris has been spreading it around," he answers.

"Oh, God," I moan as I put my head in my hands. From Paris, it's only a matter of time before Miss Patty gets it at which point, it's gonna spread around town faster than if Karl Rove spilled it.

Oh, Rory, honey, you are in for one hell of a homecoming.