This little bit of madness was the direct result of way to much caffeine and too little sleep. Feel free to C&C, just be warned all flames will be used to roast weenies.
Title: Unnecessarily necessary
Want to hear about one of life's great jokes? Really, it's a killer. As you die time slows and you have all the time in the world to think about what you did wrong in life. Now the joke of it is that while you have all this time to figure out what you did wrong you have no time to fix it because you're dying. See I told you it s a riot. A real show stopper. Ok so that last though was a groaner but what else am I suppose to do? I've already done the whole life flashing before the eyes thing and now am just board. Don't give me that look you'd be board to if all you had to do was lie here and wait to die. I never did have any patience. That trait amused my dad to no end. He'd dead now thanks impart to the wonderful world of Oz and the piss poor timing of the Gundum pilots. Yea, yea I know all about the Gundums and their fight against the evil Oz empire….yada, yada, yada. Didn't hurt any less when dad died though. I made a deal with myself that day dad died. I wouldn't think of him being dead therefore, I would not lose my mind. Personally I think I got the better end of the deal but hey that's just me. Anywho, back to this dying thing. I wonder if am dead yet…nope, damn it still here. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over. I'd laugh if I had the energy. I known your wondering why I don't start yelling for help or start crawling to the hospital or whatever right? Your not? Well hell your no fun.
O now you want to know. What you hoping to keep the sociopath talking and maybe he'll get better is that it? No. Hum, you've got to be the most depressing person I have ever talked to. Hell I don't even know why I bother. O' that's right am board and dying. Oi vae am dying of boredom. O come on that's funny, and people say the dead have no sense of humor. Anywho to answer your question, all right my self asked question, two words: spinal shot. Can't move. Who says life has no sense of humor. What else could be more fitting for a person who can't stand to be still to die of but a wound that keeps them still? Really, I'd be laughing now if I could. Really.
Ok I know this is going to sound funny coming form a dead person but man have I got to pee. What? Am dying not dead. Just because I can't move doesn't mean the rest of me doesn't. Why did that come out sound like a bad pun?
Well fuck its about time you got here I've been waiting all day for you to come pick me up. Of course am in a hurry, I've been board all day. Wow I never realized I could get that look from an angle of death before. Shit that hurt! What the hell was that for! What do you mean am not on the list? For Christ sake I've been dying all day and now you tell me that oops there's been a mistake! Yelling at the grim reaper hum not one of my saner moments but a least am having fun. Now why in the name of the eleven levels of hell would I want to do that? O there goes that look again. Good gods I think I just gave him a gray hair. I didn't think that was possible. Well I'll be damned yep there it is. O quite your yelling it was only one gray hair its not like I yanked out five of them.
Wow I never knew an angle of death could yell like that. E gods the man has no sense of humor. I wonder if his wings are as soft as they feel. O come on are handcuffs really necessary? I take it that doesn't mean am number one does it? I'd be laughing if I wasn't dead. What do you mean am not dead? Well then why the hell are you hanging around then? Cool he's talking to himself now. Weirdo! Don't give me that look it perfectly natural to piss off an angle of death to the point they stop off muttering to themselves. How else are you going to stop them from coming back? Duh!