1st week of December 1970

"Shut up Peter! You're going to give us up. Merlin, your such a girl!"

"I am not!" Peter a small, round boy with mousy hair argued back.

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"You are too! And if you don't arguing with me I'm going to bash your face in!"

The whispering voices of first years Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew floated through out the 4th floor corridor.

"Eeek!"

Peter squealed at the other boy's threat.

"Ha! You even scream like a girl. Girl, girl, girl, girlie, girlie, girlie!"

"Would you two be quiet? If you don't stop arguing you're going to both get us caught!"

The authorative voice of Remus Lupin sternly scolded his two friends. They both silenced at once, but the boys glared furiously at each other.

Clear headed Remus was uneasy though. What if they did get caught? He thought Surely there would be some severe punishment. James and Sirius said that Lowsworth gave the worst detentions. But that wouldn't be so bad. Wait…a detention? He didn't really need that kind of scar on his record.

As these thoughts ran through his mind, the fourth boy, James Potter, jumped slightly and whirled around. He was waving his arms and whispering excitedly.

"Okay, okay! Look guys! I can hear him coming! Right! Now everyone knows what they're suppose to do? Right. Okay. This is going to be brilliant! Now every body get ready and don't mess up! No fumbling!"

He looked sternly at Peter who squirmed under his gaze. Sirius slapped him on the back and elatedly patted a brown sack he was holding.

"I've got to say this Remy, for a know-it-all goodie-goodie you are bloody brilliant! This is the best plan I've ever heard of!"

Looking at his beaming friend Remus rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath.

"'Course Sirius you wouldn't realize that I was being sarcastic when I suggested this."

But his words were lost on his friends, as they all were tensely posed behind the statue and shoving each other to get a better view. Cleverly waiting behind, Remus cleared his throat and advised his friends.

"You do realize that if you shove yourselves any closer together, you're not going to be able to move afterwards?"

All three turned their heads and glared at him, but all the same they shuffled back a few steps. He smiled superiorly and moved around to the other side of the statue, which his idiot companions seem to have forgotten existed.

As he peered under the elbow of their hospitable statue, he saw only an empty hallway, but listening carefully he heard a noise coming from the corridor perpendicular to their own.

It was humming, broken at intervals by a phrase or two, usually very obscure and completely misunderstood by the four boys.

"Oh yes Mary was quite the Lady. Darling I must finish those letters of mine. Must see the dragons, they are very important these days."

It was their herbology teacher, professor Lowsworth. A tall thin man, he had gray blonde hair and a ridiculously large moustache.

He was a very odd and cruel hearted man. He would walk with his feet pointed outwards, causing himself to look like a very large penguin, shouting and taking house points from nearly every student that crossed his path.

Because of being somewhat deaf, he was a favorite for the students to make fun of, as he didn't know what exactly they were saying or he didn't hear them at all.

Another unfortunate trait of his, also accountable to his impaired hearing, was that he would talk to himself. As he didn't hear himself, he had noidea those around him were aware of what he was saying. And even if a kind student or colleague would gently bring it to his attention he had no way of realizing if he was still doing it or not.

So as he made his way down the hallway that led to his office, he was completely unaware what four young pupils of his had in store for him.

Rubbing his chubby hands together and smiling maliciously Peter giggled.

"Oh boy! Old Lowsy's never gonna know what hit him!"

Receiving a strange look from Sirius he flushed. What?

"What?"

"You just giggled."

"So?"

"That's what girls do."

"Boys do it too!"

"No Peter. No they don't. You are such a girl."

Peter opened his mouth to say something back but just at that moment, their tall professor rounded the corner and James clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Now!"

Sirius let out a whoop and threw the brown bag into the middle of the hallway. As Remus watched it, time seemed to slow down. The bag flew floated through the air and as it spun the open end widened, and out tumbled large quantities of small brown objects.

Under his breath he cursed and squeezed his eyes shut. This is it, the last logical part of his brain screamed, if you do this, you will be condemned to a life of pranks and dangerous stunts! Don't do it Remus! DON'T DO IT!

Silently apologizing to himself he spoke a few short words and flicked his wrist. A jet of brown light shot out of the end of his wand and headed straight for the bag's contents.

The small brown objects that had fallen out of the burlap sac were cockroach clusters, a common candy popular among children and adults. They were still falling as Remus' spell hit them. As they hit the ground they were no longer candy. They had taken on the literal sense of their name.

The flood of cockroaches scuttled down the hallway, heading for the unfortunate wizard. They were drawn by the scent of molasses, which had been the second part of the brilliant prank.

As Sirius had launched the bag and Remus had betrayed his common sense, Peter had scurried out, as quickly as a mouse, or rat, in front of the flying sac and had flung a large bucket over top of the still oblivious professor.

The bucket had contained molasses; molasses that had been magically modified so as to be thrown upon someone easier. The sticky substance was the first warning poor professor Lowsworth had of his regrettable situation.

And as the first two culprits sprinted away to the safety of an empty classroom, James, the leader of their escapade, stepped out from behind the statue. He confidently waved his wand, shooting a second jet of light at the professor.

It met with the wizard's moustache and taking on a somewhat similar form, began to squirm and squeak. The pitiable man's moustache was now a mouse, that slipping and sliding its way through the pool of molasses, ran right into James' open hands. His part of the task completed he ran off, following the others.

Laughing uproariously Sirius held out his arms and completed the grand finale.

"Say cheese!"

A large flash filled the corridor and the black haired boy ran off, a large camera clutched firmly between his two hands.

He arrived in the empty classroom out of breath from laughing and running. James shut the door behind him and locked it with a wave of his wand.

As he completed the spell, he fell to the ground clutching his stomach. All four boys laughed until they were red in the face, and tears streamed down their face. When they finally calmed down they sat on the ground discussing how wonderfully they executed their plan.

"Hey James you got the old man's face fungus right?"

"But of course."

Out of his pocket he pulled out a large grey mouse, which was squeaking and wriggling in his grasp. Sirius collapsed into laughter again, shaking his head in wonder.

"A mouse!" He gasped, "James, I think I love you!"

Smiling gleefully James raised a finger into the air and struggled to his feet.

"And we shall pirate our way through Hogwarts!"

Peter, still smiling but now in a slightly confused fashion, cocked his head.

"Pirate's not a verb."

James frowned at him.

"Yes it is."

"No its not. We can't pirate our way. That doesn't make sense."

"It does too. You don't know what you're talking about."

Sirius needed to be involved in everything, piped up.

"Sorry mate but old Petey's right. I don't think pirate's a verb."

"What? You're taking his side?"

"Of course I'm taking his side. He's right."

"Oh yeah? And how would you know? It's not like you know your grammar."

"What that now? I know plenty more grammar than you do!"

Remus sighed, watching his bickering friends. What a waste, he thought. For once they're having an intelligent conversation and none of them know what they're talking about. They're just too stubborn and need to defend their sides. I suppose I ought to set them straight. Just like I always do.

"HEY!" Remus yelled out, and they all turned to him, knowing he was the most intelligent of the bunch, "James is right pirate is a verb. Sorry to say but he actually has some sense this time.

"HA! I knew it! I'm so good! You're both wrong!" James laughed at his stroke of luck of picking an intelligent verb and slapped his friend on the back, "Thanks for sorting them out ol' pal."

Remus winced painfully but smiled encouragingly at him. But cross at being showed up, Sirius stood up and stamped his foot.

"Well I refuse to pirate our way through Hogwarts."

"C'mon pirate is a good word! We can pirate!"

"No! I hate it. No way am I going to pirate anything."

"You're so dumb. Just 'cause your wrong you won't use my verb."

"No, that's not true. It's just stupid."

Remus smiled secretly and decided to use his extensive knowledge to fool his friends. And at this point he was going to throw them a real curve ball; a synonym.

And laughing to himself, he again interrupted his quarreling friends.

"Hey James, Sirius how about maraud? We could maraud our way through Hogwarts."

"Ooh that's good!"

"Nice one Remus!"

"Yes!" Shouted Sirius striking a pose, " We shall maraud our way!"

Not one to be left out, James jumped into position beside him and made his own statement. One that would prove to be an infamous one.

"Yes. We shall maraud. We are the marauders. We are now and we always will be."

Laughing Sirius shoved him over, and jumped on top of him.

"Do you have to make it sound so serious? You sound like old Lowsy-poo himself!"

Joining in the laughter the other two boys dived in, and they all wrestled, pulling each other's hair and shrieking with joy.

Later that night

"Here we are! Ladies, gents, wizards, witches, goblins and whoever! We have here a prime object! Absolutely wriggling with its enormous value! Folks this is a one time offer! You do not want to pass this chance up! I'm telling you! Get your bids in right now!"

Sirius Black was posed behind a wooden podium placed in the center of the Gryffindor common room. He held in one hand the small brown mouse and in the other a large wooden mallet with which he was vigorously hitting the podium.

The three behind him were taking down bids for the object in question; smiling in wonder how much profit they were making off this. They proudly scribbled down the numbers as Sirius cried out to the crowd of students using his loud voice and boisterous personality and recieving probably twice the response what he expected.

Behind him stood in four foot moving color, a picture of the victim. Scrambling on the floor, drowned in molasses and covered in swarms of cockroaches, he was noticeably void of any facial hair.

"As hard to believe as it is, I hold at this moment… PROFESSOR LOWSWORTH'S VERY OWN MOUSTACHE!"

The room burst into loud laughter and shouts. Sirius glanced back at his friends giving them a large wink. Oh, yes, this was certainly the start of something.

"Over there! Do I hear 6 galleons? 10? 10! All right! Done! Going on 10 galleons over here! 11? Anyone for 11?"

The noisy common room was abruptly silenced as the portrait opened and a sharp clicking of heels sounded on the stone floor. Sirius shook his shaggy hair out of his face and taking a step back passed the mouse and mallet to James.

"Ahh! Professor McGonagall! What a lovely surprise! And just what gives us the pleasure of meeting you here tonight?"

He met her steely blue eyes with his innocent boyish smile. This was one tough witch. To match her he was going to have to be perfect. No slip ups. Her face emotionless and very menacing she inclined her head in his direction.

"Mr. Black. What may I ask are you doing?"

Always keeping his flawless smile and oblivious demeanor, he smoothly replied,

"Why professor! I am merely livening up this dreadful common room. It was getting much to stuffy in here. Personally I can't stand too much silence, and students are getting much to serious with studying I find. Why just tonight there must have been at least ten stu-"

She cut him off sharply,

"Mr. Black. Do not stray off topic. There was an incredible and ridiculous stunt pulled tonight on a member of the faculty. A professor of yours I believe."

"Is that so? How awful."

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about this would you?"

"Me? Oh heavens no! We were in the library all night professor. You can ask Joey and Susan if you'd like. We, being Remus, Peter, James and I, were with them just until a short while ago."

He motioned eagerly to two small, scared looking students. She raised a delicate eyebrow at him before turning to talk to the two others.

"Joey, Susan? Can you confirm what Black is saying? Were you with these four boys all evening?"

The young girl, a small witch with watery blue eyes and pale blonde hair, simply stared at the older woman, her mouth quivering. But Joey managed to get a few words out, nodding enthusiastically.

"Oh yes Professor McGonagall. All night we were. Studying that is. In the library. It's true madam."

Sirius chuckled and grinned. What wonders a few threats can do.

"See Professor? I'm sorry but I have no idea whatsoever who the brilliant pranksters must be."

Slowly nodding her head a slight smile crept to her lips.

"A shame. Well goodnight Sirius. And I hope you didn't forget your homework assignment for tomorrow."

Bowing theatrically Sirius scoffed.

"From you? Never!"

She turned sharply on her heel and walked out of the portrait hole, shaking her head. He's going to be trouble, she thought.

As soon as the large painting closed behind her, Sirius' face broke into a grin.

"Did I hear an 11 somewhere?"