Hi People! This is my First every fanfic, and I'm still new at this. So please leave comments if you like my story or if I have anything I should fix up on. You guys r the readers and I'm just an author so Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or any of the characters in them. The only things I own r the characters that are not in the Gundam Seed Story.

-Chapter 1 -

Pain and Sorrow

Kira's POV

Journal Entry #25

"I never knew loving someone can be so hard. I thought I could be with her after the war. Athrun mourns over Cagalli who got killed in the explosion of the Genesis. She died protecting Athrun who she loved with all her heart. After the explosion I was found out side of the remains of my Gundam. I was saved and brought back to the Eternal where my pink-haired angel was. Instead I found myself in an infirmary with a crying Athrun hugging Lacus. I just thought that it was because of the death of my twin sister. Instead 3 months passed and here I am alone, no sister, no best friend, no gundam and no girlfriend..."

Normal POV

A certain brown haired, lavender eyed teenager sitting down underneath a tree in Orb, got up and began walking away till a certain voice talked out. "KIRA HOLD ON" said a warm beautiful voice. "Huh? Oh good morning Lacus" Kira answered to the love of his life. "Kira" asked Lacus with concern showing through that lovely voice. "What is it Lacus" asked Kira getting awfully nervous with the concern showing through Lacus' voice and her gentle looking blue eyes. "God I love her, those eyes, that voice, everything about her is gorgeous." Kira thought. Lacus noticing Kira staring made her blush a deep red. "Ummm Kira it's the one year anniversary, you know the month and day the war ended, and the death of Cagalli." Lacus said just noticing the mention of her name. "Cagalli" Kira said in a soft whispered, but was still heard by Lacus. "Kira I'm sorry for mentioning Cagalli's name." Lacus said with regret in her voice. "Its ok Lacus, Cagalli died but I'm still alive, thanks to her I was able to be here." Kira said as he remembered what happened.

-Flash Back-

"CAGALLI GET OUT OF THERE" Kira shouted as he continued fighting Cruset. "Kira I'm sorry but I can't, if I leave then you and the rest of the Archangel, Eternal and Kusanagi crew will die." Cagalli answered in the voice she was able to muster after she decided to kick Athrun out of the Genesis and planning to self-destruct her own Gundam unit. "WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT ABOUT ME? You're the only family I have left, I CANT LET YOU KILL YOURSELF LIKE THIS" Kira yelled at his stubborn sister. "I HAVE TO DO THIS KIRA! FOR EVERYONE! MY FATHER DIED SAVING US! I MUST DO THE SAME, even at the cost of my own life." Cagalli answered with courage. "Cagalli..." Kira answered noticing his strong sister was crying. "What about Athrun? He loves you but you're just going to die like this and leave him all alone" Kira answered with tears forming behind his lavender eyes. "Athrun…" Cagalli answered in a whisper, remembering the kiss they shared before they left off for battle. "I have to do this Kira, it's the only way. I never loved Athrun. I was just toying with his mind." Cagalli answered with tears going down her amazing amber eyes. She admits she loves Athrun with every emotion in her heart, she knows he'll be hurt but she has to do this. "CAGALLI YOU'RE LYING, I KNOW YOU ARE" Athrun answered just hearing the last words she just said. At the same time Kira just blew off the Providence's arm. "I'm sorry Athrun, I LOVE YOU, but we can never be, I hope you will be happy Athrun, if not for you do it for me. I don't want to die knowing you'll be sulking after the death of me." She said activating the self destruct for the Strike Rouge. "Cagalli don't leave me please." Athrun answered with tears coming down his eyes. "I'm sorry Athrun" Cagalli answered just before the GENISIS fired and the explosion of the Strike Rouge. "NOOOOO" Athrun screamed out.

- End of Flash Back-

"She died protecting us Kira; don't take it out all on your own." Lacus said also remembering what had happened. "SHE DIED SAVING ME LACUS! HOW CAN I GET OVER IT! I CAUSED MY SISTER'S DEATH" Kira yelled back holding tears from going down his cheeks. Lacus had enough of this, so she snapped her wrist in front of his cheek. Her hand came in contact with Kira's cheek. "HOW CAN YOU BE SO SELFISH KIRA, SHE DIED SAVING US NOT JUST YOU" Lacus yelled at him, it hurt her knowing that he blamed himself for everything that happened during the war. "LACUS do you know how hard it is for me, to remember my sister died on this very day, I could of saved her instead I jut let her die, do you know how it feels to see the person I love going out with my best friend? Do you know how hurt I was to find out that the girl I fought so hard for is dating my best friend? Huh? DO YOU" Kira screamed letting all the emotions he had flow out on her. "Kira..." Lacus whispered out, which was heard by Kira. "Don't give me pity Lacus I don't need any pity from you." Kira told her as he broke into a sprint." I'm sorry." she whispered which was not heard by Kira since he ran too far.

Kira's POV

"Why did she have to remind me about Cagalli? It was hard enough to lose her and now the girl I love has to remind me. I worked so hard to bury that deep wound, I even tried harder to bury the death of Cagalli then I tried to bury the memory of Flay. I lost so many friends during the war, Fllay, Tolle and especially Sai. Why wont he forgive me for what happened? He blames me for the loss of Fllay; she seduced me and used me for her own sick plans." Kira thought deeply as he was running.

Normal POV

"AAAHHH." a girl screamed as she fell to the floor. "Oh my god Mirialla are you ok" as a certain blond haired coordinatorran towards her to help her up. "Mirialla" Kira whispered remembering his old friend from Heliopolis. "Huh? Oh Dearka I'm fine." Mirialla answered in her usual happy voice. "Ok that's good. You though, you better run before me..." Dearka pointed towards Kira but never got to complete his sentence as Mirialla saw who it was. "Dearka stop its Kira" Mirialla answered holding down Dearka's hand. "Huh? Oh sorry man I guess I was just a little angry with Mirialla falling down and all." Dearka answered nerveously. Kira saw a chance to tease them when he sees one in front of his face. "So. Mirialla, Dearka I see that you two got together." Kira said as he was just about to tease them. "Dearka, Mirialla, did you two do anything bad yet" Kira said as he wiggled his eyebrows. That last comment was enough to cause the both of them to blush deeply. "K-Kira w-why w-would say t-that" Mirialla stuttered out." Yeah man, w-why would you s-say that" Dearka answered while trying to keep his cool. "HAHAHA." Kira laughed as he broke down laughing his ass off. "Oh nothing just trying to imagine our innocent Mirialla doing something bad." Kira answered while still in laughter. "HEY! What is that suppose to mean" Mirialla shot back. "Nothing, nothing at all." Kira answered while still trying to stop his giggles. "WOULD YOU STOP GIGGLING? YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS" Dearka answered but instead was imagining Mirialla doing something bad. With that comment Kira broke down in laughter again, the thought of Dearka nervous was enough to make even Yzak break down in to laughter. "Oh that's it." both Dearka and Mirialla said in unison which cause the brown haired coordinator to laugh again. "We will give you five seconds to run." Mirialla and Dearka said at the same time. "Huh" Kira answered without laughing. Five...Four...Three...Two. With this Kira broke down into another sprint...ONE..."KIRA YAMATO GET BACK HERE." Mirialla and Dearka yelled as they began the chase after the young coordinator. After a few seconds Mirialla and Dearka decided there was no point in chasing after him, so they stopped and decided to go to the mall to get some ice cream.

Kira's POV

"Things sure have changed. Dearka and Mirialla got together. About time they did though. Dearka was all over Mirialla. I guess that Mirialla wasn't ready though after the death of Tolle. Mirialla is still as pretty though. It seems that Dearka has changed as well. We actually talked back on are re-entry back to earth after I was saved."

-Flash Back-

"Umm, Kira" Dearka asked. "Yeah? What's the matter" Kira answered drowsily as he wanted to sleep. "D-do you t-think y-you can tell me things about M-M-Mirialla" Dearka asked stuttering. "What was that" Kira asked teasingly. He knew what Dearka wanted to ask but just wanted to tease him." I said ...doyouthinkyoucantellmethingsaboutMirialla." Dearka said in one breath. "Come again Dearka, I couldn't hear you." Kira answered." I asked. "Can you tell me things about Mirialla" Dearka asked without saying it in one breath or stuttering. "Well why don't you ask her yourself? She's right behind you anyways." Kira answered while pointing to the brown haired girl behind Dearka. "W-What" Dearka answered slowly turning backwards. "Hi Dearka." Mirialla said in an excited voice. "AHHH." Dearka screamed like a little girl by the surprise appearance of Mirialla Haww. "Oh did I scare you Dearka? I'm sorry." Mirialla answered as she embraced Dearka in a hug. "Umm Oh man what am I going to do now." Dearka thought as he saw Kira. Dearka moved his eyes saying to help him. Kira let out a loud sigh as he got up, but instead of going towards them, he then decided to go outside the door. "KIRA IS A DEAD MAN" Dearka thought. He looked down and saw that Mirialla was still hugging him. That hug caused him to blush like a tomato. "Mirialla Haww report back to the bridge. Repeat. Mirialla Haww report back to the bridge." the speaker said. "Sorry Dearka, I have to go. I'll tell you some things about me later ok" Mirialla said and quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek and left. Dearka who was stunned by the kiss and the hug just stood there dumb founded for a good few minutes, until it all sunk in.

- End of Flash Back-

Normal POV

"Those two sure came a long way." Kira thought "Especially Dearka." Kira spoke out loud. He didn't know it but he ran back to the cemetery where all the soldiers have lost their lives during the war. "I guess I should take a visit to Nicol and Cagalli's graves." Kira grimed at the reminder of Cagalli. Kira soon walked up to the grave of Cagalli's which was next to her mother, father and strangely Nicol. A tear slid down his face remembering how his sister and Nicol died. Suddenly a tissue came in front of him. "You ok buddy" asked a green eyed friend. "Thank you. Oh Athrun it is you. What are you doing here" asked Kira. Athrun turned towards Cagalli and Nicol's gravestone and let out a small sigh. "It's the one year anniversary remember. Of course I would come here and remember them. After all we did take their lives." Athrun answered back but was more like a whisper. "Athrun" Kira asked. "What is it Kira" answered Athrun. "How is your relationship going with Lacus" Kira asked, hoping the relationship was going horribly. "Oh it's going great. I'm planning on showing her this tonight at dinner." Athrun answered taking out a ring. The ring was placed in a heart shaped box. The ring itself was a golden, with a blue sapphire and a blue diamond connected together. The ring reminded Kira of the ring Lacus gave him before he left. The ring which he treasured and was around his neck right now. "Athrun congratulations." Kira forced out. "Thanks Kira. I hope she likes it." Athrun answered putting the ring back into his pocket. "Anyways I got to go Kira. I have to get ready for the dinner." Athrun said as he started walking away. "I'LL CALL YOU AND TELL YOU HOW IT WENT." Athrun yelled as he waved to his friend. "OK." Kira yelled back also waving back.

Kira's POV

"I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing... I'm doing the right thing." Kira told himself over and over again. "Their happy so I should be happy to." Kira told himself, but could not control the tears coming down his cheek. "Why am I lying to myself? I love her but it can never be. Why didn't I fight for her? Now it's too late. I should be happy for them." Kira said as he started walking back to his apartment all alone without any friends to talk to.

Athrun's POV

"Wow Kira looks down for some reason,I wonder what happened to him"Athrun wondered."I wonder if it has to do with me or Lacus?...Naaa he's probably just getting depressed remembering what happened on this very day.Who wouldnt,Kira didnt want to join the battle but he got dragged in anyway."Athrun let out with a sigh."Maybe i'll call him out to a pub tonight so I can ask whats going on with him." Athrun said out loud."Kira never liked fighting but still he is the ultimate coordinator, but why does people have to care if us coordinators are on earth.We're the ones that helped put an end to the war, but on the other hand my father did blow up the moon base with the Genisis." Athrun let out with another sigh, remembering what happened to Cagalli as she kicked him out of the GENISIS."

- Flash Back -

"ATHRUN GET OUT NOW" Cagalli yelled out."CAGALLI YOU GET OUT,IM STAYING HERE!I HAVE TO END WHAT MY FATHER STARTED." Athrun yelled out towards the princess of Orb."Athrun...why are u staying here?Why do you have to be the one that ends what your father started" Cagalli asked."Its because im a Zala.My father started this,he's the one that made the GENISIS,he's the one that will make living on earth hard due to the explosion of the Moon Base.Im his son Cagalli, I should be the one that ends this hatred towards us coordinators.EVERYONE ELSE IS INNOCENT CAGALLI" Athrun answered back in a softer tone."Why though?How are the people of earth innocent" Cagalli asked."Cagalli what do you mean by that" Athrun answered back."If the people of earth wanted to make humans more "advanced" they are the ones who decided to alter the genes of infants.The children are the innocent, ones not the adults.Due to the cause of the adults greed, the coordinators were born.Why did the baby's have to become coordinators?They didnt have a choice Athrun, Nicol is a good example. He's kind to everyone, he's talented with the piano,BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ATHRUN? HE GOT INVOLVED WITH THE WAR AND HIS LIFE WAS THE PRICE HE PAID" Cagalli let out reminding Athrun of what happened to Nicol."Nicol..." Athrun whispered remembring what happened to him.With Athrun distracted like this,Cagalli destroyed the Jusitce Gundams Thruster and pushed the Justice gundam outside of the Genisis."CAGALLI,CAGALLI WHAT ARE YOU DOING" Athrun shouted out towards her,suprised at what happened."Athrun,your death may not help bring peace towards the conflict between the Naturals and the Coordinators,but as the princess of Orb.My death may bring an end to the war,so you shall be the one that lives and not I." Cagalli answered with tears coming down."Cagalli,why though,why must you die." Athrun answered back with tears also coming down his cheeks."Athrun this is one thing you will never hear from me again." Cagalli told him, knowing she will never get a chance to tell him ever again."What is it Cagalli" Athrun asked."I...I...love you Athrun,I love you as much as Kira loves Lacus" Cagalli let out."Cagalli...I love you too." Athrun answered back."Athrun I love you thats how come you shall be the one that lives,be happy,if not for you do it for me." Cagalli answered before she turned off her communication.

- End of Flash Back -

Normal POV

Athrun had no clue where he was walking but soon he bumped into a old friend."Im sorry for bumping into you sir." Athrun said out."Athrun" two voices let out.Athrun looked up and ended up find a happy young couple." Dearka,Mirialla!Its nice to see you again." Athrun answered in suprise."Yah.Its been a long time." Dearka answered."I see that you and Milly finally got together." Athrun said." Yah she just couldnt resist me." Dearka let out, which earned a slap from Mirialla."Im sure Dearka, just like that girl back in the PLANTS that couldnt resist your smile." Athrun answered.Instead of Dearka answered it was Mirialla. " What did you say" Mirialla asked."Oh Dearka didnt tell you? Back when we were training in the acedamy, Dearka was a ladys man.He had so many women around him, he forgot he had to get something for his mother." Athrun answered." Is that so" Mirialla answered, eyeing Dearka."Well its nice to see you again Athrun, im going now,if you want to talk with us heres my number." Mirialla wrote it down for Athrun before leaving a nervous Dearka. " Did I say something wrong" Athrun asked.That earned him a punch from Dearka."YES" Dearka punched him again and ran after Mirialla."Owww." Athrun whined continuing on his way.

Dearka's POV

"Oh man im in trouble,why did Athrun have to say things from the past" Dearka thought to himself. He soon caught up with a fuming Mirialla." MILLY WAIT" Dearka yelled. Mirialla stoped and waited for him to come."Im sorry for making the player run to me, im sure your busy with the other girls so i'll just leave you alone." Mirialla answered walking away."Listen Mir that happened in the past ok?Im all yours from now on.Your just to sexy for me to leave." Dearka answered smirking." I know that will work." Dearka thought so himself.He sooned found out what the results were.The results were...Mirialla got even more angry." I CANT BELIEVE YOU WOULD SAY THAT.IS THAT!IS THAT YOUR USUAL LINE TO STOP GIRLS FROM DUMPING YOU" Mirialla yelled at him. " No,no,no thats from the heart." Dearka lied hoping that would do it.Instead he earned a very hard slap from Mirialla.

Normal POV

The people on the street saw this and glared at Dearka wondering what he did to make such a pretty girl angry.Mirialla then stomped off walking towards their apartment. " I guess im sleeping on the counch tonight." Dearka let out with a sigh as he walked back home.

Author:Well Thats it for this Chapter.What you guys think of it?I'll probably post ASAP since i have a weekend.But i might not since i have so much to do next week.