Four: Lies, Rumors, and Scars
Sometimes, I just don't understand why our lives are this way. Too many steps are taken, but not enough stairs. How can I help him, when he has too much pride to receive help? We share the same blood, so I know when he is in pain. But what's a sister to do when he went let anyone get into his head? But there is one person who can and he also knows who it is. And his pride can't keep her away.
Crushes, love, and broken hearts. I have experienced all of these. I watch it all around me, but don't have a someone like the others. I see their mistakes and their pain and it scares me not to make it like them also. But I also see their love and souls pour out to each other and I also want to have that for myself.
But when I see him, smiling and laughing like always, I also know that there are two parts to him. When he's alone, he just sits and sighs and is too busy thinking if what he did was right. That's my brother. A thinking man. But even though his thoughts soar in different directions it will land on one place. His love, his life, and then there's you. Keep him safe because his troubles lie for you.
-Bra Briefs
Marron let out a frustrated breath of air. She was wearing her pink pajamas with her hair in pigtails. It was already eight o'clock and Pan hadn't come over yet. Bra was there and, to their unfortunate luck, so was Clarrissa. Bra had her spaghetti strap top and her underwear and Clarrissa had on a long gown. They were in the living room waiting on Pan. Bra had called her and Pan said she was on her way.
"Dammit! C'mon Pan!" Bra shouted. She lifted her self up so that she was sitting on her knees. "What's with that girl?"
Marron shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe she got stuck in traffic. I hope she doesn't fly, it's raining hard out there."
Clarrissa shook the nail polish she had in her hands. It was a light pink with sparkles in it. "Does she do this a lot? Always late I mean?"
Bra sighed. "Not always. She usually hates being late."
Marron laughed. "I remember one time back in middle school, Pan flew right through the window and into her seat the second the bell rang. And the teacher didn't notice." Bra laughed. "Or how about the time when Goten was late to a spar. After the twenty minute lecture they had to go home." The girls fell over laughing at the memories.
Bra pretended to wipe away a tear. "Those were some good times we had." She elbowed Marron in the ribs playfully. "Remember the big Truth or Dare Game?"
Marron laughed and Clarrissa looked between them. "Why? What happened?"
Marron stifled her laughter and kept smiling. "It was our senior year and we knew that we were going to split up for college so we threw a party. And we were drinking a little and we began playing Truth or Dare."
"And I dared Marron to make out with Goten for a minute , but instead she acted like a chicken shit and decided to pick the consequences instead. So Pan told her that if she didn't kiss Goten she had to kiss me!" Both girls laughed and continued on with their story.
"Of course I grabbed Goten and said ' Pucker up, baby, it's going to be a wild ride!' I mean I was already buzzing from the tequila. After that that's when I found out that that was the most amazing kiss I ever had and then Goten and I started secretly dating. But Pan got pissed after what Trunks did to her."
"Why, what did Trunks do?" Clarrissa said scooting closer.
"Well, we were all just messing around and I dared Trunks and Pan sing a song. Which was stupid because both of them said no. So then I dared Trunks to give Pan a hickey. Pan said no, but Trunks was already locking lips with her neck, sucking it like he was Dracula." Both girls laughed and Clarrissa did a fake giggle. "It left a scar he did it so hard!"
The door bell rang and Marron jumped up. "I hope that's Pan." She opened the door and soaking wet and shivering was Pan. "Oh Dende! Pan what happened!"
Pan smiled. "I decided to fly. Much faster." She stepped inside and rubbed her hands together. "Mind if I borrow some clothes?"
Marron nodded, her mouth still slacked open in the stage Pan was in. She knew Pan was always the impatient one, but she wasn't dunce. She knew not to fly in a storm. Had something happened? Marron took Pan's hand and led her to the bathroom where she stripped her and wrapped a robe over her and got out a pair of long sleeve and blue pants pajamas for her. Pan changed and smiled at Marron.
"Thanks, I owe you one." She hugged her friend and that's when Marron knew something was wrong. It was another one of Pan's hugs, but this time it had a meaning to it; like she really needed it.
"Pan…are you okay?" Marron asked as they separated.
Pan smiled and opened the bathroom door about to leave. "Of course, never better." They walked into the living room where Pan wrapped herself in the blanket. "So what are we watching?"
"Forensic Files." Bra said as she popped in the tape. "I need ideas for when I kill my employees."
Everyone laughed as they watched the first case. Pan kept dotting down notes that she could use for her story. They were watching the trial of mass rapist and murderer, and Marron finally got the nerve to bring up what the entire event was based on.
"I don't know. She seems to be going over board with the acting. I don't think she was raped, especially since he was her boyfriend." She crossed her arms and hoped that Pan would do what she normally did and state her opinion.
And she was right.
"Well, actually she can still be a victim. If she said no then he should've stopped, but if he didn't then he did rape her. If it was against her will it still counts, no matter who it was." She didn't look at her but continued to stare at the television and her notes.
"Well, what would some of the symptom be for being raped by your boyfriend?" Marron tried her best not to sound obvious.
"Hmm," Pan twitched her lip. "Well, there are many symptoms. Anger, disloyalty towards men, aggression, depression. The victim could have physical harm to like scars and bruises, and unconscious side effects too."
"Like having bad nightmares?" Marron popped out to quickly and Pan finally understood why they were doing this.
They thought Pan was raped. That she couldn't handle herself by herself and let a man have her way with her.
Pan was quarter Saiyan and knew how to get a guy off. How could they think that she was raped. Or that she would give herself up so low. She stared at Marron's crystal eyes. She still remembered when they found her screaming in her sleep, but it wasn't from being raped, it was from something else. Pan had to clear it up before it went to far. She wasn't a victim.
"Hey, popcorn would go great with this. Want to help me fix it?" Pan said hopping up as she looked at Marron.
Marron nodded and followed her into the kitchen. Pan turned her around and shut the door so the others wouldn't hear. She crossed her arms in a Vegeta like way. "The answer is no."
Marron blinked at her. "No what?"
Pan sighed and ran her fingers through her damp hair. "Back in Cali, that never happened to me. The nightmare was something else that happened." She took another sigh, ready to spill the beans. "But he did try." Marron knew she meant her boyfriend back in America. "We were dating for two years and he thought that we were far enough for it. So he advanced and-" Pan bit her lip and looked down at the floor. It wasn't that she was sad, but embarrassed. "I couldn't do anything. I was so confused and scared that I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if what I was about to do was right. So I panicked and said no and he kept on coming onto me."
Pan shook her head and held back the tears. Marron had silent tears well up in her eyes. This definitely sounded like a rape story. "I was lost. Didn't exist practically. But then I saw this." She held out her right hand and on the middle finger was the promise ring that Pan received before she left. "So I pushed him away. Ran off, and hopped a plane. That happened the night before I arrived here." She rubbed her arms and gave Marron a smile that had no meaning to it. "But you want to know something funny? After he did that, I still have feelings for him."
Marron walked up to Pan and draped her arms around her, but Pan wouldn't cry. She blinked away the threatening tears and nodded to Marron. "Don't tell anyone, kay? Just between you and me." she smiled and held out her pinky.
Marron smiled too and locked her pinky with Pan's. "Promise."
Goten landed on the ground of with sweat dripping down from his forehead. Uub was panting in front of him as he also landed. It was bright and sunny and perfect weather for sparring. That's what they were doing now. Trunks was too tired to train and decided to spend his day off at home.
Goten put his hand over his stomach. "Lets stop to eat somewhere."
Uub nodded his head in agreement and they took off for Gohan's place. Videl was a great cook since Chi-chi taught her. When they got there, Goten climbed through the window and Uub went through the door.
"Morning everyone!" Goten shouted. Gohan smiled at him as he walked out of the dining room.
"Let me guess, you want something to eat?" Gohan smiled and pointed to the kitchen. "Help yourselves." Goten and Uub raced in there, almost knocking Videl over. They came back with giant plates of food and they ate furiously like the gluttons they were.
Pan descended down the steps, still in her pajamas and her hair ruffled. She looked like she just woke up. She didn't even acknowledge the others as she walked outside. They all watched her curiously. Her eyes were closed and she looked like she was sleep walking. When she came back, she sat the mail on the table and plopped down on the couch.
Goten turned to his brother, "What's with her?"
Gohan chuckled. "She just signed a deal with her publisher and she was up all night writing. I even bought her a laptop just for the occasion." He salted his eggs and scooped them into his mouth.
"That's great! I can't believe little Panny is becoming a novelist." Uub said as he looked back at Pan's sleeping form. Videl picked up the letters on the table and sorted through them.
"Hmm." She walked over to Pan and shook her slightly on the shoulder. "Pan, you got a letter."
Pan groaned and lifted her head and rubbed her eyes. She looked at Goten and Uub and just blinked at them like she was trying to analyze them. "When did you get here?"
"We've been her for a while. Morning sunshine." Goten said as he watched her amused.
Videl handed her the letter and Pan looked at the address. She slid her tongue over her lip and slipped it into her pajama bottom back pocket.
"Aren't you going to read it, honey?" Videl asked.
Pan smiled and shook her head. "No, it's not important." She took her place at the table and began to make her plate. She tried her best to calm her wild frizzy hair.
Gohan swallowed his food. "Are you sure? It could be something from your editor."
Pan smiled. "It's not." She grabbed her plate and stood up. "I'm going to go upstairs and eat. Goten, tell Marron that I'll be over at her house today so she can go job hunting with me. Tell her I have at least three possible choices." Goten had his mouth full and gave her a thumbs up as she ascended the stairs to her bedroom.
Pan took out the letter and stared at it. She put her thumb under the flap about to open it, but thought against it and put it in her bottom desk drawer. She took out a pair of gray sweats and a T-shirt and changed. Her hair was practically useless and she wasn't going to do much with it so she held it back with her infamous orange bandana. She fell over on her bed and rolled over to her back.
She stayed like that thinking. She wasn't even sure if she was thinking or dazing out. It was strange. She picked off her breakfast with her fingers and popped them into her mouth and chewed.
Back in high school, Pan had a crush on Trunks Vegeta Briefs. She didn't know why or when it started, but all she knew that everything he did made her shiver and he would pop out of no where in her mind. All through high school she told herself that she was fooling herself and that she didn't love Trunks. A simple girl crush, that's what it was. So by her junior year, he was just Pan's friend.
But then when she was senior he was dared to give her a hickey. She thought it was just between friends, and that's all it was, but it caused an effect on her. When his lips and teeth grazed her skin, she felt all the emotions erupt back in her again. And to make it worse, it left a permanent scar below her neck line and above her shoulder. She tried to cover it up, but one day her boyfriend saw it and Pan told him it was a scar she got when she was little.
She ran her hand over it. That stupid scar was just a reminder of childhood fantasy and as a constant reminder of him. That's why in that same year, she told her parents she was going to America, to get away from him. After four years, she thought that she could be back to her normal self. The scar was nothing but a piece of skin, but not now. It was like he cursed her to always be thinking of him. As if seeing her being tortured from his mistake was amusing to him.
She sighed and lifted herself up. She wasn't going to sulk. Trunks was not her life. She had to make her own decisions and that was final. Her world would not revolve around an already taken lavender haired boy.
She looked at herself in the mirror. "Look at you. What happened to you girl?" She shook her head and rolled her shoulders. "I am a confident woman who controls her own life. I will not waste my life away because I did not get what I want." She nodded and got on her tennis shoes. Maybe a nice jog would help things.
She raced down stairs where everyone was in the living room and her mother was doing the dishes. "I'm going to the park." She called as she ran out the door.
She got to the park rather quickly and she pulled her hair into a pony tail, but kept the bandana on. She jogged at a normal human pace on the concrete sidewalk. The air was fresh and crisp. The sun was much bright and warm. And the entire park was like rolling greens and flowers.
She nodded her head to the people she passed. This was a good way to get her mind off of things; CC president and most famous and richest things.
"Hey Pan-chan."
She turned to see the man she definitely didn't want to see come jogging up next to her wearing his own jogging suit.
Pan missed where the sidewalk turned and tripped on the grass and landed right on her stomach. Of all the damn people to show up. She spit out some of the grass from her mouth and saw that Trunks bent down to her and heaved her up by her arm.
"Careful Panny, you need to watch where you're going." He joked as he dusted her off. She wanted to tell him that she wouldn't have to be careful if he didn't show up, but it would cause him to ask a bunch of questions that she didn't need.
"Uh, yeah. So, uh, how are you and Clarrissa?" She could've asked anything. How's work? Did you see the game last Sunday? Boxers or Briefs? But she had to ask that one.
"Uh, we're good. We're doing something new though." he said as they started to jog.
"Oh really?" Pan asked, trying to be as sincere as she could be, but jealousy was seething inside her. She already knew what he would say, so she braced herself for impact.
"Yeah. She's moving in with me. I'm fixing one of the guest bedrooms to her liking." Pan completely stopped and Trunks stopped too.
"That's it?" She asked amazed.
"Huh? Yeah. Were you expecting me to say something else?" He asked her, raising an eyebrow.
Uh oh. He's cornered me, but he hasn't caught me. "You just seemed real worried about something. Moving in isn't that big for you guys, is it?" They started to jog again.
"Well, it is to me. She'll be there all the time now; day and night. And there is more to it. She wanted us to marry."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but I told her I wasn't ready yet. She's sweet, but sometimes she goes for things without thinking about the consequences. Marriage is a big step."
"Yeah it is. It's like a new world and you realize you're stuck with some guy you didn't know."
"And not only that, but it's not just love that holds it together. It's commitment, trust, honesty-"
"Loyalty, morality, the works. Trust me, I know. It's not a game."
Trunks looked up and smiled at her. "Right. And, well, there are some things of me she doesn't quite know yet." He gave a guilty little grin.
"Oh? Like what?" She smiled at him, even though she didn't want to.
"Well, she doesn't know that we're Saiyans." He gave a small chuckle. "She thinks we can fly because we all studied under ancient Zuchichi martial arts."
Pan laughed. "What kind of name is that? And she believed it?"
"Well, it's better than saying we're aliens. At least to others we're still human." He shrugged his shoulders. "I just hope that she understands why I've kept it a secret when I tell her."
Pan felt her stomach line drop some. "So you are going to marry her?"
Again Trunks shrugged. "I really don't know. It's just, uh, I don't know. It's like something's telling me to keep waiting. Maybe something will happen to help me with my decision. Help me make the right decision."
Pan couldn't say anything. She felt like smiling, but if he saw her smiling stupidly, he would get curious. Besides, she was getting over him. There was no way she was going to let herself get all worked up for nothing.
"So, speaking of relationships, how's your honey doing?" Trunks asked poking her in the ribs.
"Huh? Oh him." She forgot about him. "I got a letter from him today."
"Cool. What did it say?"
Pan shrugged. "I don't know. I didn't read it."
"Why?"
"Didn't feel like it."
Trunks laughed. "That's just like you Pan." He gave her his famous smile and Pan was completely hypnotized to it.
"Oof!" She tripped over the water fountain and twisted her ankle. "Dammit!" She hopped up and down on one foot. "I'm so clumsy!"
Trunks took her arm. "Let me help then."
"Uh, I'm fine Trunks." But he didn't listen to her. He swung her on his back and began to piggyback ride her.
"Like I said Panny. You need to be careful. See, you already hurt yourself." He walked through the park and people pointed at them. Pan couldn't help but blush.
"I'm fine, Boxer boy. It's just sprained at the most, not even that probably." But she didn't fight against him. Instead she leaned into him and draped her arms on his shoulders.
Trunks smiled. "If I wasn't here you could've killed yourself."
"Humph. If it wasn't for you I would've watched where I was going instead of concentrating on your love life."
"Touché Panny." He walked out of the park and into the parking lot. "Oh, by the way, did Gohan stop by CC last night?"
Pan blinked. "No, why?"
"His car is still at the office. I pulled it up to my private lot so no one would notice. Do you know why it was there?"
Pan wanted to slap herself. "Uh, yeah. I was going to see you and Marron called me and I forgot that I had a car. Good thing Dad didn't need it. I'm so use to flying."
Trunks smiled. "Alright. Well, I'll bring by to him later. Let me take you somewhere. We can stop by my office if you like."
Pan smiled. "You know actually, I could go for a smoothie." He opened the door and she climbed in the passenger seat.
"Alright, smoothie it is." He got in and turned the ignition and zoomed off.
Marron picked up Goten's dirty clothes off the floor and threw them into the laundry basket. His gym was a total wreck and she was so sick of seeing it she had to clean it herself. She threw away his trash and lifted up the coffee table he kept in there. The drawer in the coffee table slid open and she saw several playboy magazines and hentai.
"Oh for the love of Dende. I thought I told him no more." She picked up the magazines, but they slipped out of her hands and scattered on the floor. "I swear, what's so special about naked women? Whores." She bent down to pick them up. "I know men have them, but-" She stopped as she picked one of them up. It had opened to a particular picture of a woman massaging her breasts with her legs opened. "Oh shit."
The woman was Clarrissa.
Marron flipped it to the cover to check the date. It was published April of this year. She flipped it open to back to the picture to check that it was her. Sure enough it was.
"Oh Dende! Marron! It's not what it looks like!" Goten was in the door way with his eyes wide. "Those someone bought me! I was going to return them, but I forgot about them."
Marron looked up at him. "Does Trunks know?" She asked quietly.
Goten almost fell over. "Huh!"
Marron walked over to him. "Does he know about this?" She handed him the magazine opened to the picture of Clarrissa. Goten looked at it with a blush rising over his cheeks. He was going to tell her that this woman wasn't as nearly as beautiful as her, but then he realized he knew this woman.
"Holy shit. It's Clarrissa." Marron swiped the magazine away from his eyes and he blushed crimson.
"Does he know about this?" She asked stabbing her index finger on the cover.
"She only told him she was a model."
Marron growled. "She's a model alright, but not the kind we thought." She walked past him and threw away the magazines, but kept the one that had Claire's picture in it. She hid it where she knew Goten would never look; in her tampon box.