Chapter Twenty-One: Love Was When I Loved You

The next couple days, Grissom and Sara did not speak to each other. Grissom was alway depressed and when no one was looking, he was crying. Sara had meant to say something. But her fury might have gotten the best of her. All she wanted was to kiss him and hold him to her. Where they could kiss and be in love. Forever.

But that wasn't going to happen. Ever.

Grissom sat on his bed, staring out at the thunderstorm outside. The freezing rain had begun again. There was a creak behind him as the door opened. He did not stir. Just sat on his bed in a daze. Sara had a thick blanket around her. She carried a heavy aura. She was sick with a cold. She crawled up onto the bed beside him. Sitting there. Staring at him. He was so handsome. His blue orbs driving her crazy. The very scent of tea roses still on him enough to make her go wild. Although, she remained composed. Her body weak and sick. She slid closer to him.

Ever so gently, she laid her head on his lap. He didn't budge. He rested her hand on his thigh. She took one limp hand from his side and draped it over her head. He didn't move. She burrowed her head in his lap. Tears streaming.

At first he didn't know what the warm liquid sensation was on his leg. But soon found it to be her tears. He didn't look up, down, or all around. Just out the window.

"...and spaces between us. You have come to show you...go on. Near, far, where ever you are. I believe that the heart goes on...Once more, you open the door..." She trailed off. Singing the Celine Dion song. "...Love can touch us one time, and last for a lifetime..." She wept and wept. "Love me." She said.

Standing up on weak legs she turned toward him. She placed both hands on his knees. Staring into his eyes, she did not find the light. It was gone."

"Grissom. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH. PLEASE. PLEASE HEAR ME!" She curled a fist and with one stroke, she punched the side of his face. Blood ran down his mouth. She tried to swing again, but he caught her wrist. Pulling her to him, he wiped away the blood and kissed her.

His lips were soft against hers. Eyes closed, they kissed. There. In his bedroom, on his bed, they kissed. Just her. Just him. They were kissing.

He ran his fingers through her hair.

When they stopped both of their hearts were racing. "Did...you...feel anything?" She asked. He sighed and stared into his eyes. "No. I wanted so much to feel something. But...I...don't. I'm sorry Sara. I love you as only a friend. I have no passionate love for you. No matter how hard I try to find it. I cannot love you."

Sara didn't cry. She didn't sob, or anything. She just stared deeply into his eyes.

For Sara Sidle knew, Gil Grissom was INDEED in love with her. He just couldn't put into words. He just COULDN'T love her. Because of his job, his professionalism, or something. He just couldn't But Sara stared into his blue orbs. He melted as she kissed him once more. They were on their knees, standing on his bed.

"I love you Gil Grissom." She said pulling away from his lips. Then there it was. Only for a split second. She'd seen it. There, in his dark, swirling orbs, she'd seen the spark of life that he had. The only thing he wanted was there. She wanted to grasp it. "Stop kissing me." He commanded. But she ignored him. "One more, so I can remember what your lips feel like." She said. Kissing him again, she took in everything. Savoring every part of it. When she finally pulled away, he helped her off the bed.

"You...you should..."

She kissed his cheek.

"I saw it Grissom. I saw you. I saw what you wanted. And I think I know what to do."

She left him hanging.

With a slight twinge of a smile, she thought to herself, He's figuring it out. He's finding what he means.