Hopefully this makes up for me not updating 'What Are You Afraid Of' :D This is the final part, I had my one friend in tears today at school when she was done reading it lol So hope you guys like it!
And the song is 'Fix You' by Coldplay
This was it, Haley thought as she stood on the front porch of her best friend's home. She stood there for several minutes contemplating whether or not she could go in. Could she really do this? Was she ready to say goodbye to her best friend?
"Here goes nothing," she whispered, knocking on the door. In just a few minutes, she would be reunited with Lucas, after so many years of silence. She was really regretting her decision to leave, now more than ever. In a matter of time, she would no longer be able to see Lucas whenever she wanted; she had the chance for the last eight years she was gone and never took it. Now, it was time to say goodbye, something she never did the first time.
The door in front of her opened, and Peyton hugged her tightly. "Ready to do this?" No, she wasn't; she didn't know if she could handle this. But yet she let Peyton drag her upstairs to the bedroom anyways, it was time to face the music.
Haley was already in tears by the time she walked into the room. There lying in the bed was a tired looking Lucas, whose life was about to be claimed by a silent killer. Slowly, she made her way over to him, sitting next to him, not sure what to even say.
Before she could even manage to get anything out, he embraced her. "I missed you buddy," he whispered in her ear. Her tears were uncontrollable now, freely flowing down her cheeks. "Don't cry Hales."
"Luke… I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry I left without ever saying goodbye, I'm sorry I never called, I'm sorry for everything." She beat herself up for leaving all those years ago, what had she been thinking back then? This must be some sort of punishment for how selfish she had been, that's for sure.
"Haley, it's okay, I understand," he comforted her. And he meant what he said; he understood. He understood her reason for leaving; he understood her reason for starting over. The summer after their junior year in high school, he had done the same thing to her, only he had said goodbye first.
"Look, I've got to tell you something," Lucas said as he and Haley were taking the shortcut through the graveyard on the way back to his house.
"What is her name and what did you do that you regret," she chuckled. Lucas had made many mistakes in the last year, mistakes that hurt other people, mistakes that hurt himself.
"I'm going to Charleston with Keith," he finally said. "I'm moving there." He needed a fresh start; he had to get away from it all. There was too much history in this town, too much was known about his life.
"What are you talking about?" He couldn't leave her now, not when everything was becoming so crazy. Haley was still trying to find her way in this new world; the world filled with basketball games, parties, and… Nathan.
"Keith got a job in Charleston and I'm going to go live with him there." Haley turned from him and started walking away. "Come on Hales, don't do this."
"Don't do what," she shouted turning back to face him. "You can not bring me out in the middle of a creepy cemetery and tell me that you are leaving Tree Hill for good; that is not fair!"
"Haley, come on, it's not that far. I'll still see you," he insisted.
"Not like now. Who's going to go thrift store hunting with me, Lucas? Who's going to buy bad music or lie to the campus lost and found and claim dumb stuff? Who's going to do that with me?"
"Nathan," Lucas replied. He had seen their relationship blossom over the last several months and had learned to stop playing the protective older brother card; he too had faith. "And me, too, once in a while. Look, I've thought a lot about this, Haley, okay? And I feel like I can be a better person if I go now, but I am sure going to miss you. You're my best friend, Hales, you always will be."
Lucas kept the promise that he had made back then, and he warned Nathan before he left not to break her heart. He was so glad to see that they were still together when he finally moved back home, but just a few months later, she was gone. And Lucas played the protective older brother card once more, only this time, he played it for his younger brother.
"How are you," he asked her, wiping the tears off her cheek.
"I think you can probably answer that yourself," she sadly chuckled. It was like nothing had ever happened, like they never skipped a beat. To the outsider, they were long time friends, just catching up on their daily lives, but to those that knew them, they were catching up on lives the other had unfortunately missed out on.
"Wow, two days in Tree Hill, this must be some sort of record for you," a bitter voice came from the doorway. "I would have thought you picked up and left… again."
Haley stood up and walked up to someone she hurt badly. "Brooke," she hugged her. "This wasn't about you; this was about me and the things I had to do to make life easier for everyone."
"Get off of me," she sneered. "You didn't make life easier for everyone, you just made it worse. Everyone was affected by your leaving, but now that you're here, why not tell us the real reason you left?" Lucas turned his attention to this, interested to hear also. Haley glanced over at Peyton who shrugged. Maybe she should just tell them, maybe she should just—
"Yeah, Hales," another voice emphasized. "Why not tell us the real reason you left?" Haley felt her world stop as she turned to face her high school sweetheart. His eyes turned so dark of a blue, they almost looked black, but Haley could still see into his soul; just like that first day at the pier. She could read him like a book, and this book was battered and broken.
"Maybe we should save this for another time," Peyton suggested. "Let Lucas and Haley catch up?"
"Yeah, because I'm sure they have a ton of that to do," Brooke rolled her eyes. "Oh I would say, about eight years worth."
"Shut up Brooke," Lucas ordered. "Haley, sit back down." He just wanted things to go back to the way they were, when it was just him, basketball, and his best friend Haley. Things were so much simpler back then. He gathered up the rest of his strength to sit up as much as he could to whisper in his ear, "he'll forgive you Hales, just give him time; he loves you." Lying back down he closed his eyes and said loudly, "All I ever wanted when I joined the basketball team junior year was friendship. And I found it in you guys. But look at us now, we're strangers," he opened his eyes again to see their images one last time. "Take it from me guys, life is short. Too short to waste it on the petty things." His breaths got heavier, but slower. They all crowded around the bed knowing what was going to happen next.
"Lucas," Peyton said frantically sitting next to him. "Lucas, talk to me babe, please."
"I love you," he whispered. And as a light breeze came through the window, Lucas was gone. They all stood shocked, except for Peyton who was already crying hysterically. Brooke ran to her friend, hugging her and comforting her.
And then Haley turned and ran out of the room; she couldn't be there anymore. Lucas was gone, and she only had five minutes to make up for eight years lost; she felt defeated.
-OTH-
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
The next week was a blur; Haley was a mess. She felt like she had been sleep-walking through the week. Lucas' funeral had been painful, so many people had come to show their support, but it just wasn't the same. She wanted her best friend back, she wanted that guy who beat up the kids who would tease her out on recess, she wanted the guy who would take her to homecoming when no one else would ask her, she wanted the guy who had always been there for her and most importantly, understood. But throughout the course of her life, it seemed like Haley never got what she wanted.
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
So here she was, just one week after watching her friend pass on in his loving home. She had come to the beach, a place where she had always been able to find peace. And she was sitting in the exact spot where she had stood over nine years ago.
"Someday, this beach might wash away, the oceans may dry, the sun could dim, but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley," the boy she had given her heart to said as they held hands. Haley's parents looked on from the distance, proud to be giving their youngest daughter to a man who would soon be her husband.
"And now, Haley, please repeat after me; I Haley, take you Nathan. To have and to hold from this day forward," the priest instructed. Taking a deep breath, she glanced over at her parents who gave her a reassuring smile. Then turning back to Nathan she began, "I Haley, take you Nathan. To have and to hold from this day forward."
"In sickness and in health." She was there for him when he had to be tested for HCM as well. The odds were 50/50 that he would have it, but in the end, the terrible disease was found in Lucas' heart, which in her opinion, was just as awful.
"For richer or poorer." Married at seventeen wasn't easy for anyone when all they had were minimum wage jobs. But they made it work. And although they may have eaten ramen noodles more times than they would have liked, they had each other.
"For better or worse." She broke that promise; when life got difficult, she took off, ran away from the life they had built together.
"I promise that I will love and cherish you, and will deny all those who come between us." They both had; they both remained completely faithful to each other. And everyone who knew them knew what a lost cause it was to even bother trying to break them up; their bond was too strong.
"I make this promise for eternity. I promise that I will keep forever until the end of time." But she didn't keep her promise; she left him. Without a note saying why, or even just a phone call to let him know that she was okay. She crushed him, ripped out his heart and stomped on it; she knew that. And now it was a matter of how to put his fragile heart back together.
"Till death do us part." Seeing what Peyton was going through, she knew she couldn't wait much longer; she had to tell Nathan. He deserved the truth, she needed him to know.
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
For what seemed like the millionth time that week, Haley sobbed again. Living in New York she didn't have the constant reminders of what she had lost, but being back in Tree Hill, every little thing that had played a major part in their relationship was there to remind her what she had done.
As she sat there, huddled up in the sand, she didn't take notice of the lone figure jogging down the shore line. "Haley," he called out as he approached. Soon he was directly in front of her, all 6'3" inches of his tall muscular body. "Are you okay," he asked uncomfortably, but he saw her tearstained face, he knew how much pain she was in.
"No," she sobbed burying her head into his shoulder. On instinct, he rubbed his hand up and down her back trying to soothe her. "I'm so sorry Nathan, I never meant to hurt you," she cried bringing her face up to look at him.
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
"It's a little late for that, don't you think," he said coldly dropping his arm.
Haley sighed, her gaze returning to the crashing waves of the ocean once again. A silence soon fell upon them which she took an opportunity to break. "It was a Thursday," she started to say. "I woke up and left for a doctor appointment. It was only supposed to be just a check up," she choked out. "And then the doctor came back in the room and told me the two words that neither of us wanted to hear at only eighteen."
"And what was that?"
"You're pregnant," she replied, her mind registering the shocked expression on his face. "We were about to graduate from high school Nathan, and then we were off to college; I couldn't tie you down with a kid, not when you had a full athletic scholarship to Duke."
"So all this time, I've had a kid that I never knew about," he asked in disbelief. This was the reason why she left? Did their wedding vows mean nothing to her? He said he would stick by her, for better or worse, but she wouldn't let him; she never gave him the chance.
"Not exactly," she said sadly. "After being in New York for only a few months, I miscarried; my body wasn't strong enough to support a baby." Even though it happened nearly a decade ago, she still couldn't believe that their unborn child was dead. "And the wondering killed me everyday. What color hair would he or she have? Would they have your piercing blue eyes? But we'll never know." Nathan just sat there in silence; how could he respond to that? "I'm sorry, I'm just going to go," she said standing up and starting to walk away.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
"Haley, wait," he yelled after her. "Don't do this." He wouldn't let her go a second time, he couldn't.
"Don't do what," she asked walking back over to him. Isn't this what he wanted, for her to be out of his life for good? She left him, she abandoned their marriage; she knew he wasn't going to just let her walk back into his life like nothing happened.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" He had to know why she felt as if she had to keep this huge secret from him, the person she trusted most.
"I loved you," she shrugged. "I wouldn't let you resent me or our child later on in life; I wouldn't let us hold you back from your dreams." At eighteen, she had been faced with the hardest decision of her life, and that had been to walk away.
"But why didn't you come back after… you know," he asked looking down at the ground. To know that she was suffering in a big city alone made him almost feel bad for her; but then he realized it was her choice to do what she wanted.
High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
"It was too late," she replied. "I knew you Nathan, I knew what you would do if I came back. Peyton told me everything that happened after I left, so I didn't come back; if I did, you would have just shut me out, and we would still be standing here."
"We did stand here Hales," he smirked and she practically melted at the sound of her nickname rolling off his tongue. God, he hadn't called her that in forever. "I stood here telling you that only when the oceans were dry, I would stop loving you. It all seems like such a lie now."
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
"But the oceans aren't dry yet," she played along. This was it; it was now or never. She had one last chance to make things right with him and she was going to take it. "Nathan, there wasn't a moment when I was in New York that my heart wasn't with you in Tree Hill." There it was. "I meant what I said in my vows, I do take you, for better or worse, and I'm sorry that I ran when life got tough."
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
"But you have to believe me Nate, I did it for you, I wanted you to find happiness," she sadly smiled, tears glistening in her eyes. "I would have come back to you eventually, but you needed to find yourself first."
"I did find myself Haley, I found happiness; it was with you, in our home, our marriage. And you treated it like it was nothing," he spat out. "You should have come to me."
"I know," she cried. "Nathan I'm sorry, but I was so scared. I wasn't even my own person yet, and then I was about to become a mother?" It was too much for her to handle then and it still felt like too much to handle now.
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
"We could have found our way together," he said softly. "You didn't need to run away; I would have much rather had you in my life than some basketball scholarship." The four years he had spent playing basketball at Duke had been four of the emptiest years. His success meant nothing if he couldn't share it with the person he wanted to most.
Losing Haley had been the cause of Nathan's downfall. Only she would be able to pick up the pieces, but she never did, she never came back that summer. Nathan spent the few months before college locked up in his apartment, only leaving when necessary. She was his weakness.
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
"I know that now," she continued sobbing. "And I'm sorry, but I felt like it was something I had to do to protect you; I had to protect you from me. I know that you would give up anything for me, but I didn't want that. I wanted you, needed you, to do what was best for yourself," she sighed trying to calm herself down. "But how I felt about you never changed Nathan, there wasn't one day that I stopped loving you."
She had just laid her heart on the line, she felt so vulnerable to him in that moment. Finally, the words she had been wanting to say for the last eight years had made their way to him; finally, he knew the truth.
And they had both been set free.
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
In a split second, Nathan's lips met Haley's in a searing kiss. A kiss that promised the future; a bittersweet kiss of want and need. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he lifted her up and swung her around before setting her back on the ground. Pulling apart, they stared at each other for just a few seconds before rain drops were felt on their skin. "Come on," Nathan smiled, placing his arm around her shoulders.
And the couple walked back to their apartment, back to reality, smiling the entire way. Neither knew what their future held, but both knew that neither would be leaving anytime soon. Their love and trust had been restored, and although they would have some rocky times getting back to the way they were, all they needed was each other to build themselves back up from their emotional falling.
And I will try to fix you