Pushing Two Buttons
A/n: laughs It came to me, just this afternoon, about what Tsuzuki might do to get off work. Hisoka is easily riled by him, and I thought, what better way than to let Hisoka be defeated into thinking, he won:D
Hisoka wasn't in the best of moods. There was a backlog of papers piling up from last week's unforeseen rise in deaths, and there were many reports that needed to be written. It could have been done between him and the papers alone, but the presence of Tsuzuki slowed down the process. He insisted on helping, despite his clumsiness and general distate of doing office-work, and he came up with a hundred and one questions for Hisoka every five minutes. It was driving him crazy.
He didn't feel like playing up with Tsuzuki's intentional pouts and laziness either.
"Aa," he said tiredly, waving a limp hand when Tsuzuki insisted on taking a 'short' break to the staff room. "Can I, Hisoka? It'll be only for a short while." He pouted.
Usually Hisoka would give a ten minute lecture on procrastination and team work. But he wasn't in the mood.
"E—ehh?" Tsuzuki's eyes were wide in shock. He didn't push back the chair and get up, despite Hisoka's agreement.
Hisoka looked up from his papers. He'd allowed Tsuzuki to go off, so what was wrong? "What." He asked.
Tsuzuki tried his luck. Hopefully Hisoka will get mad. "Twenty minutes." He said, grinning, and stuck out two fingers.
Hisoka nodded.
"Ee—eh?"
Hisoka sighed, and hunched in his seat even more.
Here it comes, he thought.
"Hisoka, are you alright?"
He looked up to see wide eyes gazing at him in the deepest concern.
"Yes."
"You look horrible. Can I get you anything? A pillow, some coffee? Bunnies?"
He wanted to snap. Which would result in more questions, and concern. "I'm okay, thank you," he said, in stifling politeness. He was biting his lip and eyeing the staff room door. Just get in there already, he thought.
"Are you sureeee?"
He nodded twice, and stared at his writing on the blank sheet of paper. Aah, he'd made a mistake. He looked around for a piece of eraser.
"Ne, Hisoka…"
"…" Hisoka grit his teeth. He looked up and smiled politely. Tsuzuki looked freaked out, all of a sudden. "Yes?"
"Could you check my report?" Tsuzuki shoved him a bunch of papers, and sent him the puppy dog look, quite happily oblivious to Hisoka's glare of doom.
"No."
"Hisokaaa."
"…Go get your break already."
"You want anything?" Tsuzuki put back the papers on his side of the desk, beside his porcelain cat figurine and his empty tub of cookies. He leaned back in his chair.
Hisoka rubbed out the mistake he had made earlier. He shook his head. Fifteen more reports to be done. If Tsuzuki procrastinated, and hung about in the staff room for an hour, he could finish two more.
"Wakaba made cake."
Hisoka ignored him.
"Two kinds," Tsuzuki stuck up two fingers again, and waited expectantly for his partner to look up. Hisoka did, and glared in exasperation.
He waited for Hisoka to ask what kind.
After two minutes, Hisoka gave up and gave in. "What kind."
"Chocolate and um…" He bit his lip, thinking. "E—to, pineapple… I think."
There was silence for another whole two minutes before Tsuzuki asked, "So…" Hisoka looked up. "What kind do you want?"
"I don't want anything." He'd made yet another mistake.
"Eh? Why?"
He reached around for the nearest answer. Because you'd have more to stuff yourself with, and not come back for days.
No, that wouldn't do.
"I'm not hungry," he settled, instead.
"Eh? Why?"
"I ate. Earlier." With precision and care, he gingerly wrote 'There were five deaths' on the first line of the next paragraph of the report he was working on.
"But she made pineapple cakes."
He didn't realize he wrote 'There were five pineapples' instead until he started on the next line. He swallowed down his irritation, and reached for the eraser.
"Pine.ap.ples." Tsuzuki emphasized each syllable, as if Hisoka hadn't heard him the first time.
"I don't like pineapples," he finally huffed and regretted it, because the next thing he knew, Tsuzuki started on the goodness of chocolate.
"Then you want chocolate." Tsuzuki beamed at him from across the table.
Hisoka gave in. He nodded. "Okay, one slice. Go." He pointed towards the door.
His face fell when he realized his partner wasn't budging.
"One slice isn't fun. Hisoka, you're too skinny." Tsuzuki held up two fingers again. Hisoka felt like chopping them off.
"It's okay, just go already," he said, and looked hopefully at the pile of reports at the 'in' slot of his table. He imagined it empty.
"It's chocolate."
"So?"
"Everyone likes chocolate."
Hisoka considered quitting this job. At least one of Tsuzuki's partners had to quit because of this. He just knew it.
"Tsuzuki." He put his pencil down, and crossed his hands, and shot his partner the meanest, evilest glare he could muster. Tsuzuki didn't flinch. In fact, he looked quite pleased with himself.
"Go. Get. Your. Break."
Tsuzuki beamed. "But you haven't told me how many slices of chocolate cake you want."
It was his turn to stick out two fingers.
Tsuzuki heaved a huge sigh and looked at his pile of files at his own 'in' slot. They were much higher than Hisoka's were. "I have just so many to do…"
Hisoka wanted to die. "I'll do it for you, if you just go."
Tsuzuki was hiding a smile. "E—ehhh? Reallyy?"
Hisoka nodded furiously. "Just go already!"
Tsuzuki pushed back his chair, and jumped to his feet. "Right away, Hisoka." He shot towards the door, and stuck up two fingers at Watari in victory. The blond scientist was working on his latest scientific research on the computer. He had witnessed the entire exchange.
He shook his head slightly, disapproving. Tsuzuki beamed, and escaped.
Hisoka was ecstatic. He'd finally got rid of Tsuzuki. Now to get rid of the reports.