Chappie 3: Bye Bye Bijou!
Large puddles of watercovered the floor of the tight steel cage.By now the hams had completely defrosted, but the entire cage was silent. The hams didn't dare to talk in fear of being overheard by Bumbler. Once his footsteps had died out, however, the hams began to chat.
"Why does everyone think we're criminals!" yelled Pashmina, stomping around the cage in frustration.
"Well, it might have something to do with the fact that these people are not us and are in fact imposters cleverly disguised as us." said Maxwell in one breath, pointing to the photo on the wanted sign.
"How'd ya figure that out, Maxy?" Sandy asked, patting him on the head.
"They have zippers." He pointed out as he turned red. Sure as seeds, a small metal bit could be seen from the phony hams necks.
"Why those dirty, low down, phony bologna fakers!" Howdy shouted, tearing the poster in two.
"What a clever plan." Dexter muttered.
"Stop calling our enemies clever!" Howdy yelled at Dexter.
"You just can't understand how complex it is. They dress up as us and commit crimes, and then when the cops come they take off the suits and pretend as though we did the wrongs."
"Yes, yes, I understand that!" Howdy screamed.
"I wonder how they got these costumes." Dexter wondered.
"Shouldn't you be asking who made the costumes?" Hamtaro asked.
"Look at the quality stitch work, do you think anyone but I could sew such wonderful creations?" Dexter explained. Howdy's jaw dropped.
"YOU made them!" Howdy yelled. "Why the heck would you make ham suits anyway?"
"They were for Ham-o-Ween." Dexter said proudly. "I thought all the hams could dress as another ham. The mystery is how these imposters got into my closet."
"This is all your fault!" Howdy exploded with rage.
"It is not Dexter's fault!" Pashmina leaped up to defend him. "How was he supposed to know that mean hams were going to steal them?"
"Of course, my lovely Pashmina. Dexter, please accept my sincerest apology." Howdy gushed with a very fake smile.
"Say it when you mean it!" Dexter said as he crossed his arms.
"You little runt!" Howdy howled. "Get out of this cage!"
"You can't kick me outta this cage!" Dexter yelled.
"Maybe not, but I can kick you!" Howdy lunged at Dexter. They bit and scratched and punched and kicked until Pashmina shouted.
"STOP IT NOW!" she screamed. Dexter and Howdy ran to her sides.
"Oh, what a fool I've been!" Howdy pretended.
"Please punish me for my wrongs!" Dexter said, flakily. Pashmina saw through their attempts to please her.
"You are both idiots!" she yelled, and ran to her corner.
"This is still your fault." Howdy said.
Dexter tried to say "it doesn't matter" and "I don't care" at the same time and ended up spurting out "It doesn't care." Howdy remained silent and retreated into his side of the cage. Pashmina rolled her eyes.
"I feel your pain." A strange female voice called from outside the tent. "Bumbler and Webster are always fighting like that."
"We are not!" piped up two males, one Bumbler, the other unrecognizable. The three hamsters entered the tent. The girl had long, flowing red fur with black spots on her back. Beside Bumbler was a gigantic black ham with red eyes. He had six red spots around his eyes that made him look like a spider.
"The name's Lady. Lady Buggina." She said. "My lackey, Bumbler, said he captured you sniveling prisoners."
"We are not prisoners!" yelled the hams.
"Explain this!" Lady Buggina said, holding out the wanted poster.
"Fakes! Every one of them!" Maxwell pointed out the zipper. Webster whispered something into Lady's ear that sounded like "probably drew it on."
"What are you going to do about it?" Webster said. "You're stuck in that cage, aren't you?" he laughed evilly.
"Please!" cried Bijou. "Give me a chance to prove zat we are not lying!"
Lady Buggina considered for a moment, and then nodded. The hams sniffed a bit of hope. "On one condition!" she said. "You beat me in a contest." Bijou nodded.
"I accept." She said.
"Excellent!" Lady cried. "The contest is fashion! You and me, head in an all out attempt to out cute-ify the other." Bijou seemed rather happy. "The voters will be my minions!" Lady called. Bijou's heart sank.
"Zat is not fair!" she cried.
"Fine, fine. I'll give them a truth potion." Lady was over confident that she would win, so she tossed Bijou a dresser of clothes. "Make do with that." Lady said, and she scooted Bijou off into a changing room.
Ten minutes later, both girls emerged from their rooms. The boys gaped. Lady entered sporting a tight fitting, red dress with a silky pink hat and gloves. Bijou was wearing an aqua blue spaghetti strap shirt and a violet mini-skirt.
"Truth potion." Lady called. A crystal vile appeared full of glistening silver liquid. "Shall we test it?" Lady asked. Without waiting for an answer she opened the cage door, crept up to Dexter, and poured a drop into his mouth. A blank expression appeared on his face. "What is your favorite color?" Lady asked him.
"Lavender" he muttered. The hamsburst out laughing.Lady shut the cage door, leaving a very embarrassed Dexter, and stepped over to Bumbler and Webster. She tipped the vile to their mouths.
"Who do you think is cuter?" Lady asked, smirking.
"B-Bijou." They stuttered.
"WHAT!" Lady screamed. Bijou leaped in triumph as the other hams clapped for her. Boss flat out started crying."Fine." Lady said, with a look of pure venom. "You have twenty minutes to get proof."
The hams said good bye and were left with an angry Lady and two cowering henchmen. Four miles off, the sounds of their screams echoed off the walls.