Battle of the Sexes
Hyo: This idea came to me in the shower…..and I don't own HP…..
Fushigi: Brilliant…
Ch. 1
The Golden Trio walked down the hall and into their DADA class. Many students gasped at the words 'POP QUIZ' written on the board.
"Well, I figure you all see that today we shall be having a pop quiz to test your skills in the fine art of defending yourselves." Professor Lupin chortled, motioning to the board. Professor Lupin had joined them again after Umbridge had been rendered into insanity, thanks to the centaurs.
"What will be on the quiz Professor?" Hermione Granger asked as her well-trained hand shot into the air.
"Er…I can't' tell you that, that is why they call it a 'pop quiz'." Lupin replied, his face lined with sympathy.
"Oh, that's quite all right Professor…"
"Good, now that that is clear, shall we begin?"
Lupin waved his wand and the tests began to disperse themselves amongst the students.
"All right, you may begin."
Students with bowed heads tried desperately to answer the questions correctly on the quiz. Cries of frustration and embarrassment rang throughout the classroom.
"Bloody hell…"Ron Weasley mumbled, shoving his sugar quill farther into his mouth.
His eyes began to occasionally dart from his paper over to Hermione's.
"Mr. Weasley, look at your paper ONLY." Lupin scolded, glaring in Ron's direction
Sighing, he continued his quiz.
Naturally, after about 30 minutes, Hermione was the first one done.
"Very good Ms. Granger, now bring that up to my desk so I can grade it."
Hermione strided up to the werewolf's desk and dropped her test into a little silver box on top.
She then glided back to her seat and gracefully sat down, smirking at Ron, who appeared to be struggling with one of the questions.
Soon, Ron clumsily stumbled out of his seat and made his way up the aisle and up to the kind professor.
"Well done Mr. Weasley! Second one done."
"Showoff!" Hermione hissed as Ron plopped down beside her.
"Speak for yourself Little Miss Perfect."
"NO TALKING! PEOPLE ARE STILL TAKING THE QUIZ!"
Ron looked over at Harry Potter, who was almost finished, and over at his girlfriend Lavender Brown, who seemed to only be on the fourth question.
He heard Hermione sigh and turn away from him.
"What's wrong Hermione?"
"It bothers me that you're always staring at her,"
"Well, she is my girlfriend Hermione. I can't neglect to check her out once and a while." He chuckled, looking over at Lavender and giving a little wave.
"My lord Ronald, you make me sick."
"Alright, quizzes in! I'm sure you all did exceptionally well." Lupin smiled, collecting the tests with another flick of his wand. "Congratulations to Mr. Ronald Weasley and Ms. Hermione Granger for getting the highest grade in the class!"
Applause erupted from the students.
"WHAT! RON GOT THE SAME SCORE AS ME!" Hermione bellowed, leaping from her seat in disbelief.
"Yes he did Hermione. Now, please sit down before I become quite impatient with you. "
"Yes sir."
As they made their way out of the classroom, Ron met up with Lavender and left the other two alone.
"How do you think you did on the quiz?" Hermione asked a confused Harry.
"Fine, I guess, it was really hard though."
"I'm amazed Ron got the same score as me! HE'S A MORON!"
"Yah, I know…"
Harry and Hermione made their way down to lunch, where they found Ron and Lavender snogging. They looked like a couple of elephants stuck in each other's trunks.
"My god….Ron, get a room, some decency, and a tad bit of humility while you're at it." Hermione bit, throwing a nasty look at the salivating Ron.
"Why don't you go get yourself a boyfriend and quit staring at me."
"At least I'm not embarrassing myself by snogging like a gorilla. You both look horrendous."
Giggles erupted from the majority of girls (Not including Lavender.) at the table.
"Fine then, if you think you're so special, Beat this!" He spat, stuffing 3 biscuits, a tuna sandwich, and a chicken wing in his mouth.
"Fine then." She replied bitterly, shoving 2 tuna sandwiches, a biscuit, 5 tarts, and a chicken leg into her mouth ad swallowing with ease.
"Holy crap! How in the hell did you do that!" He yelped with food hanging out of his mouth.
"Practice makes perfect, and I've had to watch you eat for the last six years…"
"What! But…I…How…huh?" He sputtered, looking in disbelief at a smirking Hermione.
"You're on Ronny, best four out of five!"
"I'll make you eat those words…"
"Harry, tell us when to start!"
Harry looked at both of them nervously.
"Um…well…"
"Just do it!"
"On your mark…get set…GO!"
Ron and Hermione began to stuff their faces full of food, causing the other Gryfinndors to cheer and whoop.
In the last round Hermione beat Ron by one chicken wing.
"Well…I guess you ate my words for me...huh?" She sneered, sending Ron into a furious blush.
"I'll get you somehow."
"I'd like to see you try."
"Fine, meet me at the Quidditch pitch tomorrow at 7. Bring a broom and prepare to be defeated."
Ron looked at her in horrified disbelief.
"You're challenging me to a game of Quidditch?"
"You'll see." She spat, turning swiftly and marching toward the stairway defiantly."The war has only begun."