Disclaimer: NOT. MY. CHARACTERS. But I do take the credit for my twist on the backstory from Lucasarts, Obsidian, and BioWare's kotor games. And my FemExile, Sienna Vaas, I take credit for her name. W00t! But this is all in fun, not being sold for profit. Ha!
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Story Break Four: Broken Jedi
Unwounded physically, the young woman laid on the wet and muddy ground, rain pouring down her face, turned upwards towards the sky. She could not go on like this. The battleground was just not her home. But she could not return she would surely be exiled. But following Revan… the Force had told her that following Revan would lead her deeper along this path… too deep to return from.
"Sienna," a voice hissed lightly. The woman named Sienna's eyes jerked open and weakly she sat up and looked into the face of the person speaking.
"Revan…" Sienna whispered. The rain blurred her vision, but she could see the face of the woman she had followed here. Revan's deep green eyes were full of light concern and worry shadowed by something more vicious: hunger and fury. Her deep black hair, flattened by the pouring rain, was blowing slightly despite the wetness in the gust of wind that passed.
"Will you follow us now?" Revan questioned, leaning down on one knee in her black battle armor, her black cape billowing behind her. "We have found something… back on Dantooine. It can lead us to a place of great power, more power than we had ever imagined. You refused Malak… will you refuse me? An old friend?"
Sienna looked into those green eyes. She had seen them before, commanding her generals on what to do in the war, teasing Malak long ago back when they all had been simple Padawans at the Jedi Enclave, inspiring the loyalty of so many people, and now begging her to join.
"I am broken," Sienna admitted. "I cannot feel the Force anymore. It has abandoned me." Her face was streaked with tears that mingled with the rain. This pain of seclusion was different that any pain she had felt slaughtering countless millions in the Mandalorian War.
It was emptiness. The Force which had run so thoroughly through her before was nothing anymore. A blank spot where it once ran through her. All the death, and the pain of all the screaming and dying soldiers and Jedi and Mandalorians had deafened Sienna to the Force. So she had unconsciously cut it from herself, to survive through the immense pain.
"You will be rebuilt," Revan told her plainly. "I have known you for many long years, can you abandon me now? Can you abandon your fellow comrades?"
"I cannot follow you," Sienna muttered. "I have no choice. I am useless. I cannot fight, cannot feel the force, and cannot feel anything but emptiness and pain."
"We can make you feel again Sienna!" Revan exclaimed, standing up. "This thing Malak and I have discovered can fix us all! It can fix the galaxy, the Jedi, the Republic and you yourself!"
Sienna, still pained, stood up and stared Revan in the eye with her own steely blue gaze.
"I am not worth it Revan," she said quietly but with deep conviction.
"You are one of my most loyal comrades!" Revan shouted. "You are certainly worth it. You cannot refuse such an offer twice! The Star Forge holds so much more of the future, it will solve everything!"
"It will change you. Malak too. And everyone who follows you. I have been changed enough Revan."
"You are weak!" Revan shrieked. "You are weak to refuse such power!"
"Maybe I am," Sienna retorted. "But that doesn't matter to me. I just… don't know. I'm not worth it Revan. Go on, go challenge the galaxy with whatever weapons you win, but the will of the Force will influence the galaxy however it wishes it to."
"Words are nothing," Revan hissed. "Have you learned nothing from following us? Sitting back and watching will achieve nothing! Apathy is death! The Mandalorians would have conquered the galaxy if it weren't for us! Do you think the council was wise to sit back and watch?"
"No," Sienna replied quickly. "I just don't think I can do this. The war has touched me too much, broken me. I need to rekindle myself. And war only injures me further."
Revan shook her black mane stubbornly. "Then I shall leave you here. Enjoy your pain. Once we leave, it will be all you have here. Your pain and seclusion. The council will exile you. That's all you will earn from refusing us."
"You may be correct," Sienna shrugged. "But it's better than lifting more pain. The Force is gone from me Revan. I'm not worth anything. And you know what? I don't think I want power."
Revan glared at Sienna with white-hot intensity. "Perhaps you're right. Perhaps you're not worth my time. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do, places to go and battles to fight. With my loyal allies." She turned from Sienna.
That last statement burned in Sienna. Revan ignited her lightsaber, smiling at the anger she felt rising in her former ally.
"Yes… rage is a powerful ally is it not?" Revan said, turning back towards Sienna. "Care to battle me? Show how little you are worth? I bet you are nothing but a liar, trying to make excuses for why you cannot follow me. You are probably just afraid."
"I am not lying Revan," Sienna commented, slight anger in her voice. Revan was right. She was afraid. But Revan shouldn't have cared so much. A speeder piled with dead Mandalorian bodies then passed by the pair of women. Pain threatened to overtake Sienna and she stumbled, the pangs of guilt returning.
You did this… you killed those men and women. You left their children parentless, their parents childrenless and their friends without them. Perhaps you killed all of their friends too. Their children and parents as well. Murderer…
Sienna screamed with the pain that overtook her as she felt Revan lightsaber tug into her shoulder. She collapsed to the ground, back to the same position she was in before Revan had confronted her.
Revan laughed lightly. "Physical pain plus psychological pain for you makes a happy me. Suffer exile… for that is all you will ever be now."
Even without the Force, Sienna felt the darkness radiating off of Revan as she put on a black helmet she would one day always be hiding behind. Revan had fallen to the dark side, that was for sure. The war had changed her. Just as it had changed everyone else.
Revan walked away from Sienna then, expecting her to eventually die in the wilderness of Dxun. Her pain would certainly incapacitate her. That's how Revan's mind worked the situation out. The disloyal would be left behind.
And Sienna was disloyal.
Sienna's mind on the other half, couldn't work its way out of the pain. Except for the same lone thought that would conquer her mind for days to come.
You are a broken jedi… lost to the universe. You are worthless… and will live as nothing but a broken jedi consumed by her pain forever.
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Evil Revan! Muaha! Yes… so here's the fourth story break. It's pretty tied into the fifth one (which will appear just prior to the Leviathan I believe) where a few questions are answered…
Anyways, thanks guys SO much for the reviews. Again, you folks rock! I'm not sure how long it'll be until I get the next chapter up (where we head off to Manaan) but I'm hoping it'll take less time than it did for me to get the last chapter out (-coughs- three weeks –coughs- I'm so ashamed!). My job ends in about a week and a half (I work at my town's park program… it's like a day camp) so I'll have more time on my hands.
Responses to reviews…
Trillian4210 – Yes, yes, indeed do I have plans… -cackles at a scene she wrote up weeks ago for Manaan…-
Saerry Snape –I'm not abandoning it, but if I do work with the ship, I think I'll work with it mainlyin Destiny II because I've already got to work with Alaanis/Carth and this isn't exactly a romance fic... Thanks for the review! XD
Greatstar – Thanks for another review. :) Alright, I'll consider the alternate ending.
Siberian-Tigress – Thanks for the review. XD
Lunatic Pandora1 – You only get Handmaiden if you play as a guy. I was like "OH NO!" when I first played (as a girl) because I thought I was supposed to have Handmaiden! We'll see Bandon soon…
Romanticess – Yes… the law-loving Selkath. -shudder-
Resident roach code metallica – Heh, yes I was in tears. :) Crying my eyes out. Oki, I guess since the alternate ending idea seems popular I'll start cooking up an idea…
Again, thanks you guys! And until next time, reviews are, as usual, greatly appreciated, and remember to pet your ducks! Or Revan's Pet Duck (moi) will be after you! ;-)
8-4-05