Dazed and Dumbfounded 13

Author's Note: Thanks for all the great reviews! Sienna: Rowling doesn't want us to know that the Malfoys are good! We're supposed to think they're bad so the revelation in the last novel will shock us. I can't seem to convince my good friend that Draco is good, either. And not everything (or everyone) is seen in absolutes of Good or Evil. Most people are a mix of gray. Only Sith see the world in absolutes (yes, I was watching SW Episode 3 last night) … it makes me want to work on Emperor of Slytherin.

Harry stomped down the beautiful grand staircase within Malfoy Manor. Normally he might have paused to admire the fanciful carvings of enchanted beasts that formed the sides of the stairs but not today or now. If he were anywhere else and not being held against his will he might have noticed the sparkling stained glass window high above or that he was stomping through a cascade of rainbow light, but he didn't. Generally he enjoyed seeing the slightest magical thing in a wizard's home and found it all so magical. Even the simplest things like the Weasley family clock, the knitting that knitted itself or the self-scrubbing dishes. Then there were the fabulous moving stairs of Hogwarts and the talking paintings. Some part of him knew that the house he was in at the moment must be loaded with such objects, yet he had no desire to seek them out. When he neared the bottom of the staircase, he paused, one hand resting lightly on the smooth polished railing. His eyes focused on the man waiting at the bottom.

"Harry, you look splendid." Lucius commented as his gray eyes raked over the boy approvingly. "You are begging to look the part. Pansy will be pleased."

The Boy That Lived tightened his lips but remained silent for a moment. He felt funny wearing the odd clothes that had been waiting on his bed. He had gotten so used to the hand-me-downs from his cousin Dudley that the fine material he wore now felt odd against his skin. Second, he favored comfortable clothes like loose T-shirts. Many of the ones he owned either had holes in them or wore worn so many times that the material was so thin you could practically see through it. The only new clothing he had ever had was his school robes and Gryffindor scarf. Now he had a whole wardrobe of fine clothing, if he were to believe the Death Eater. Self conscious about his new 'look', Harry glanced down at himself.

The white shirt was definitely his favorite, as it had a swashbuckling feel with the wide puffy sleeves. A pale green trim lined the neck opening and small buttons made of some shiny material trailed down the front. His pants were black and a bit tighter than he cared for; yet when he had examined his outfit in the full-length mirror he had been forced to admit it did look good. The last piece lying on the bed had been a type of overcoat made of dark green crushed velvet. It was similar to a robe but hung open in the front. The overcoat was tucked in at the waist so it clung to his body. The white haired figure in the mirror had been very striking and Harry had just gawked at it for a long time. Surely that couldn't really be him, could it? Although he had resented the treatment from his Muggle relatives, he had never really cared much about fashion or clothes. There were more important things to be concerned about than what the current stylish mode of dress was or what name was on the neck tag of a shirt. Food and staying alive had been much more immediate concerns. Raising his green eyes back to the Pureblood, he spoke. "There are many things more important in this world than clothes…"

"But they do suit you. Very nicely, I might add. Pansy will be pleased." Lucius smiled as he motioned with his arm for Harry to follow him. "Now come and eat breakfast while we discuss the upcoming day."

Bravely Harry followed the blonde man into the elaborate dining room. Lucius seated himself at the head of the table and Harry grudgingly joined him in the next seat over. At the opposite end of the table sat Narcissa in a beautiful scoop necked black dress embroidered with deep purple roses. A lovely breakfast was spread out and Harry helped himself, his stomach rumbling from hunger. It was either that or starve to death; and he just wasn't ready to die. Silver serving plates held fried eggs, crisp slices of bacon, fried fish, and pork sausage links, large circular links of black pudding, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, bubble and squeak, and even mashed potatoes. Crystal pitchers held orange juice and pumpkin juice while china pots held the coffee and tea. There was also bread and croissants as well as butter and jam. In all his life the only other place he had seen serve food like this was at Hogwarts.

"The first thing you should know, of course, is your new name." Lucius calmly stated as he carved the black pudding on his plate.

"My new name?" Harry paused in the process of smearing jam onto a croissant. He had piled all sorts of food onto his plate and he planned on eating it all. He knew it was greasy, as most traditional English breakfasts were, but after being starved for two weeks by the Dursleys he figured a little grease wouldn't hurt. He just hoped it wasn't poisoned.

"Well, I can't introduce you to the Parkinson's as Mr. Potter now, can I?" Lucius smiled. "So from today on you'll be Dragonne Malfoy, my missing son who has returned at last. I even have a birth certificate to prove you're my son and a Pureblood at that."

Harry's jaw dropped open as he gawked at the older man in shock. "Where in Merlin do you get these crazy names?"

"What, certainly you don't think we'd use a common Muggle name for our child? We're pureblooded aristocrats!" Narcissa reminded from her end of the table. She stabbed a piece of fried tomato and daintily lifted it to her mouth.

"But Dragonne!" Harry protested, horrified. Even the other students at Hogwarts had normal names! Well, except for Draco, of course. Draco was Latin for dragon or so he was told. And was this new name even meant for a boy? It sounded feminine in a way… "Are you sure that's a male name?"

"I assure you it's very masculine." Lucius assured him as he poured more tea into his cup. "And it suits you quite well, with you being in Gryffindor and all. The Dragonne is an enchanted creature that very few know about. Its general appearance resembles that of a lion, except this lion is covered in thick scales and spouts dragon wings from its back. It is a very formidable foe and not one you trifle with lightly."

"Oh, that's just great!" Harry moaned. He couldn't believe it. And if he couldn't get out of this, he'd be stuck with that awful name his entire life – not to mention Pansy! Then a thought occurred to him and he shifted in his seat to better look at the Death Eater. "Was … was your other son really named Dragonne?"

"Of course." Lucius replied. "I assure you that the birth certificate is not forged."

Soon breakfast was over and the small group moved to the parlor. Harry nervously perched on the edge of a red cushioned sofa. Soon the Parkinson's would be arriving to meet him, Pansy included. He eyed the nearby window wistfully and dreamed of escaping. There were lots of girls in Slytherin and he only had a very vague idea of which one she was. Worst, he had no idea of what he should say to her. His stomach boiled like a cauldron in Potions and his palms grew wet. The urge to run filled him but he fought it down. He couldn't panic now. He had faced the basilisk, hadn't he? Surely a girl would be much safer?

Then the time was up and the other family arrived. Harry forced himself to his feet as was only proper. Lucius had instructed him earlier that when a woman entered the room he was expected to rise until she was seated. Still, his knees trembled and his legs felt weak. His eyes immediately flickered to the teen girl his own age and he realized he had seen her before, in class. She had a round face with dark brown chocolate eyes. Her shoulder length dark hair curled inward slightly and was smooth. Although she was a bit thick boned, she wasn't as fat as Crabbe or Goyle. When he realized she was staring at him with open curiosity and some undefined glint in her eyes, he blushed. Suddenly he realized that Lucius was speaking.

"And this is my second son, Dragonne. He has just returned to us after a very long absence."

"So the aurors have finally found him?" Mr. Parkinson asked as he took a seat next to his wife on one of the plush sofas. "I was beginning to think he'd be lost forever."

To Harry's horror, Pansy decided to sit next to him. She was dressed in a deep purple three-piece outfit, the bottom of both the jacket and skirt covered in lace. Shifting on the sofa to better face him, she crossed her ankles neatly. Black buckled Mary Jane slippers were on her feet. A smile appeared on her face and she flashed her eyelashes demurely. "Hi."

"Umm … Hi." Harry replied apprehensively. He didn't exactly like the way she was looking at him. It reminded him too much of how Buckbeak had stared at the dead ferrets. And was that lipstick she was wearing? He prayed to Merlin it wasn't, but it did look like the stuff. Surely no one's lips were that red naturally?

"So you're Draco's mysterious brother?" Pansy breathed as she inched slightly closer to him.

Harry's blushing face paled as he suddenly realized lot of Muggle women found mystery men very enticing or that's what he had heard once, anyway. Apparently the same held true for Purebloods. That and she was no doubt after the embarrassing amount of money the Malfoys had. Unfortunately, he was now her ticket to that wealth. Wordlessly he nodded.

"So where have you been?" Pansy innocently asked as she inched still closer.

"Uhhhh….." Harry uttered.

"Yes?" Pansy prompted, her long lashes flashing.

"Errrrrr…." Harry's mind went blank. "What … what was the question?"

"Where have you been all these long years?" Pansy repeated as she gazed into his emerald green eyes.

"Ahhhh…." Harry could feel his heart pounding within his chest and he desperately wanted to escape the room, but dared not. He was almost sure he would prefer to face Voldemort than this girl! He'd even willingly take double Occlumency lessons with Snape if he could escape this … this … torture! "Sss … somewhere…"

"But where?" Pansy asked yet again as she leaned closer. Her chocolate eyes drifted downward to his hand that rested on the sofa cushion. Lifting her hand, she placed it on his shyly. "Isn't it sweet that we're engaged?"

"Aahhhhhhhh!" Harry shrieked as he leaped upward off the sofa and ran out of the room, all the while shrieking like a siren. Only his footsteps could be heard pounding up the grand staircase and then a door slammed loudly, the vibrations echoing throughout the house.

Pansy giggled. "He's shy. Isn't that cute?"

Draco, meanwhile, had entered the Muggle house to meet Hermoine's parents. He had dutifully shook hands with both of them and then was led out back to where the cookout would be.

"What's that thing?" Draco asked as he eyed the black barbeque that stood on three metal legs.

"This is my pride and joy, of course!" Mr. Granger replied happily as he lifted the grate off the mysterious black object and held it out to the teenage boy. "Hold this for a moment, will you?"

The Pureblood eyed it distastefully, a slight scowl on his face. The metal grating didn't exactly look shiny and new, but he reached for it anyway. He supposed he'd have to suffer through yet more torture this day, as if that high-bay hadn't been bad enough! Hooking a single finger through one of the slots, he held it off the ground. After all, there was no need to contaminate all of his fingers! "So, what are you going to do with that thing?"

"It's a barbecue." Mr. Granger explained. "I'm going to cook the meat on it, of course!"

Draco's gray eyes widened in shock and he could feel his stomach twist. "You're going to cook on that thing? And we're supposed to eat it afterwards?"

"Of course!" Mr. Granger laughed. Hermoine's father knew that Draco had grown up in a Pureblood wizard family so knew almost nothing of Muggles or how they did things. "Real men barbecue food, you know."

"They do?" Draco asked. "My Father wouldn't be caught dead next to one of those things!"

Mr. Granger laughed. Opening a big bag, he poured some black rocks into the barbecue and then set it alight. Taking the metal grill back from Draco, he put it back in place. "Now we have to wait for the fire to get hot enough. When it is, we can put the food on the grill. Didn't you ever eat barbecued food?"

"Not that I know of…" Draco frowned as some noxious stink and smoke started to rise from the horrid Muggle gizmo. He waved at the smoke in a vain effort to chase it away from him before it sunk into the fibers of his clothes. When that failed, he stepped further away and eyed the house hopefully. Hermoine had asked him to keep her father company while she helped her mother prepare a salad and some other food. He had been shocked that she had even known how. "Father prefers more traditional food, seven course meals with appetizers, that sort of thing…"

"Ahh, I understand. Real upper class, huh? Well, there's nothing as satisfying as barbecuing your own food on the grill." Hermoine's father stated as he moved to the nearby picnic table. A big pile of some odd green things sat there and he picked one up. "Help me with the corn?"

Walking over, Draco cautiously picked one up. Corn? It certainly didn't look like corn to him! "I never saw green corn before…"

Mr. Granger laughed heartily. "You're such a joker!"

"I am?" Draco's brow furrowed as he stared at the older man, confused.

"You have to peel the long leaves off it!"

Draco examined the object in his hand and noticed it did seem to be covered with leaves. And one end had some sort of fuzzy brown stuff on it. It reminded him slightly of Hermoine's bushy hair. He had never really thought of where corn came from or how it might look before it appeared on his plate. Obviously when it grew wherever it grew it was covered in these green leaves and one had to peel them back. It was servant's work, of course! But then the Muggles didn't have servants so they did things themselves. After watching how Mr. Granger started on a corn, Draco cautiously peeled a leaf back, only to see another and another. It was a conspiracy against him! Grumbling, he attacked the corn and tore big handfuls of green off it until he was finally down to the bright yellow cob. "Well, this thing really is corn!"

"Of course it is!" Mr. Granger laughed. "And you need to pull the fuzz off it, too…"

Time passed and all the corns were ready. So was the fire in the grill and Mr. Granger hurried in and out of the house with the meat. "Now we'll put the meat on."

Draco watched as raw hunks of meat were slapped down on the grill. It looked disgusting, all raw and slimy… ewwww! His pointed face twisted up as he eyed the raw steaks, ribs and burgers. "We're not going to eat that, are we?"

"Didn't you ever see raw meat before?"

"Heck no!" The pureblood exclaimed loudly.

"Well, believe it or not, but all cooked meat starts out looking like this…"

"I'll never eat meat again!" Draco vowed as he headed towards the backdoor. In his opinion, Granger's old man was slightly off his rocker. How else would you explain his weird need to plop raw bloody meat on that metal thing and cover it in big clouds of smoke? And the smell! Merlin, some of Snape's potions smelled better! Opening the door, Draco entered the kitchen. Hopefully things would be better in here!

Hermoine stood near the table and was bust chopping raw vegetables while her mother was preparing a potato salad. Hermoine's face brightened as she saw him come in. "How's it going?"

"You don't want to know…" he replied as he thought of the disgusting sight he had just witnessed. "I think he massacred some helpless animal…"

"Of course not, silly!" Hermoine reassured him with a quick peck on the cheek. "Muggles buy all their meat from the supermarket."

"Well, it doesn't look very appetizing if you ask me…"

"Would you want a soda?" Hermoine asked as she put her knife down and went to the fridge. Opening the door, she pulled out two cans of icy cold soda and handed him one. "It's not pumpkin juice or butter beer but it's quite good. I'm sure you'll like it."

Draco watched carefully as she showed him how to open the can and then he took a cautious sip. Almost instantly the bubbles hit him in the nose and he exclaimed loudly in surprise. Yanking the can away from his face, he rubbed at his nose with a free hand. "Don't Muggles have anything that's normal?"

Hermoine giggled and shook her head, her ponytail flying about.

"That figures!" He exclaimed, leaning back against the counter as he watched the two women make salads. He had never seen anyone prepare food before and he watched with interest at first, but after a while it seemed boring. Then a new thought occurred to him. "Hermoine, can you actually cook?"

"Of course I can!"

"I admit I don't even know where our kitchen is…" Draco replied as he took another swallow of the lemon-lime soda. "I suppose we must have one somewhere…I mean, the house elves do bring us food…"

Hermoine laughed again. It didn't surprise her at all. "I'll teach you how to bake cookies if you want…"

Draco's gray eyes widened as he stared at her. "Are you kidding, Hermoine?"

"No, of course not!" She replied matter-of-factly. "Baking isn't that difficult. If you can follow a potion recipe I'm sure you can bake cookies or a cake."

"Me? Bake a cake?" His bottom jaw dropped a few inches. Then his eyes shifted around the Granger's small but tidy kitchen. "You mean like now?"

"No, tomorrow; at your house!" Hermoine explained happily as she thought of spending another day with him. "It'll be fun!"

"I don't know…" Draco thought of his reputation and how it would be ruined if this cake baking ever got out and people learned of it. Cool guys did not don aprons and bake cakes, especially not Purebloods! "Mother sends me lots of bakery at school by owl."

"And does she bake it herself?"

"Mother? In a kitchen? You must be joking!" Draco rolled his eyes. "It would ruin her manicures, I'm sure…"

Finally the salads were finished and were put away for later. Hermoine led him out of the kitchen into the living room. Going over to the stereo, she put a cd in it and turned on the music. Adjusting the volume, Hermoine walked up to Draco and gazed up at him shyly. Then reaching up, she folded her hands around the back of his neck and rested her head on his chest lightly. Pulling on him lightly, she started to dance and sway to the music. He soon got the idea and gladly wrapped his arms around her slender waist.

Draco sighed happily. He had to admit a few Muggle things were really good, like this music. He closed his eyes and enjoyed being close to his lovely Mudblood. The scent from her hair was sweet in his nose and her body warm against his. It was pure magic and he didn't want it to end. After dancing for an undetermined amount of time, Draco glanced down at her. "Hermoine, I was wondering…"

Pulling slightly away from him, she gazed up into his beautiful silvery eyes. "Yes, Draco?"

"Can you play this Muggle music anywhere?"

"Well, I have a portable stereo up in my bedroom that runs on batteries or we could always use a spell so it will run on magic."

Draco grinned. "Did I ever tell you we have a ballroom at the Manor?"

"No…" Hermoine's brown eyes widened when she realized what he was suggesting. "You're actually thinking of plating Muggle music in the Manor? Won't your Father have a fit?"

"Nah!" Draco laughed. "He needs to learn and relax a bit, I think. Besides, this is supposed to be our summer vacation, right? We can't spend all of our time doing homework!"

"So you want to have a Muggle style party?" Hermoine asked as her mind started to click with the possibilities.

Draco shrugged. He had no idea what a Muggle style party was, but it might be fun. "You know I told you how boring the Manor is."

Then Hermoine's mother appeared and told them it was time to eat. So they all went outside to the picnic table. Draco sat down next to Hermoine and her parents were across from them. The food was all on the table and he eyed the meat suspiciously.

"Go on, try it!" Hermoine urged as she placed a slab of barbecued ribs on her plate, the meat thick with tangy red sauce. "These taste really good!"

Draco reached for one and nibbled on the very edge. To his utter surprise, Hermoine was right. It did taste good! Hungrily he sunk his teeth into the meat and chewed happily. The red sauce got all over his hands and he shamelessly licked it off; something he had never done before in his life. It soon became clear that this was considered finger food and that everyone was licking at the red sauce. He tried a hamburger next and to his delight it was just as delicious as the ribs had been. And even the roasted corn on the cob, slathered with butter, was mouth-watering! And so it was with new respect that Draco turned to look at Hermoine's father. "You really are a good cook! Even the house elves don't know how to cook this stuff!"

Mr. Granger smiled happily at his future son-in-law. He just happened to have an extra barbecue that he could give the boy.

Back at the Manor, Lucius had said goodbye to his guests and now stood outside Harry's bedroom door. He didn't understand why the boy had acted that way, but he would soon find out. Flinging the door open, he marched right in and spotted Potter lying on the bed. "Care to explain what happened down there? You should have talked to the girl!"

Harry sat up and looked sheepishly at Mr. Malfoy. "I didn't know what to say!"

"And why not?" Lucius demanded to know.

"Because!"

"Because why?"

"Because she's a girl!" Harry cried, aghast at his own words.

"But you talk to Granger all the time!" Lucius pointed out.

"But she's not a girl! She's one of the guys!" Harry exclaimed as he waved his arms around in the air. "Couldn't I just kill another basilisk instead?"

"Ooohhhhh!" Lucius moaned as he hung onto his forehead with a black-gloved hand. If he didn't have a banging headache before, he certainly had one now! Of all the dumb ridiculous things! Potter was scared of girls! How in the world was he going to fix that?

"A giant spider?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Why me?" Lucius asked the moving painting of one of his ancestors that happened to hang on the bedroom wall. "What did I ever do to deserve this?"

"How about Voldemort? I'll kill him for you…" Harry offered, his hope rapidly dying.

Without another word, Lucius stumbled out of the bedroom. He needed a headache potion pronto.

To be continued…

Hope that was funny! I did a bit of research on English breakfast for this chapter. Bubble and Squeak is cabbage and potatoes fried together. A Black Pudding is a large sausage made from pig's blood, suet, breadcrumbs and oatmeal; is usually served with mashed potatoes. The Black Pudding is sometimes called Blood Pudding. Oh, and on the last chapter I have no idea if they have highways in England as I live in the US. I'm not sure of the names of Hermoine and Pansy's parents but I'm sure it doesn't matter.