"City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style…" the sound of carolers filled the chilly street air of Central. Hawkeye, on one of her few days off, walked briskly down the sidewalk, searching for somewhere warm to have lunch. Even she couldn't help but smile as she looked around and saw people hanging wreaths on their doors, Christmas trees being erected in every home, children playing together in the streets only to keep themselves occupied so that they didn't lose their minds with all the waiting for that jovial man in red to come down their chimneys. It all reminded her of her own childhood Christmases.
Suddenly, a large gust of wind blew right into her face, breaking her train of thought. She pulled her scarf tighter around her neck and closed her coat, continuing to walk. Fortunately, it was only a few minutes later that she found her favorite quaint little café on the corner of the two main streets. "It's about time," she thought, even with a shiver in her mind.
Just after she sat down in her usual seat, the normal young woman who served her came up to her with a bright smile. Hawkeye looked up at the teenager with a smile of her own and said, "Good afternoon, Marie. I'll just have a cup of coffee and a bagel if you don't mind."
"No problem, Riza," Marie replied sweetly. From the time when they had met at least two years ago when Hawkeye first discovered the place, the young girl had taken to looking up to her, calling her by her first name, and sometimes even looking to her for advice. Unfortunately, she was slightly more nosey about the lieutenant's own love life and felt the need to interject her own opinions every few days or so. Today, it just so happened, was one of those days.
Marie returned with Hawkeye's order a few minutes later and sat down as she said, "I'm on my break, so I have a few minutes to talk. So tell me, have you talked to the colonel yet? Have you told him? Please don't tell me a woman as brave as you has chickened out on something so simple, Riza!"
The older woman had to smile as she shook her head gently. "Marie, you simply don't understand. It's not suitable for a lieutenant to have these feelings for her superior officer. It just isn't done. It isn't so much a situation of cowardice as it is a situation of morals. Please don't get me wrong. I love Colonel Mustang very much, but I'm afraid that it wouldn't at all be appropriate for me to tell him so."
The young woman furrowed her brow and stood angrily. "I don't understand you, Riza! You tell me over and over how much you love him, but you won't tell him! You say that it's a moral thing, that it's inappropriate, but I think you're scared! What do you want? Do you want the colonel to love you? Don't give me that look, because I know you do! You should do something about it rather than sitting here telling me that you can't!
"I'm too young and inexperienced to know what I want in a man, but I know enough to know that if you find the one you want, you should go for it! That's something I have to wait for, but you can do it now, Riza!"
Before Hawkeye could even try to muster a reply, Marie stomped off angrily, and the lieutenant was left there to wonder what on earth she had said wrong. She shook her head with still a stunned look on her face, but ate her lunch in silence, paid with an exceptional tip, and then left the exact way she had entered.
The entire rest of the day, she couldn't get Marie's words out of her head. Was she really just a coward when it came to love? Even with the unethical position she found herself in, she truly did want the colonel to love her more than anything else in the world. Oh, stop it, Riza, she said mentally. You're letting the words of a teenager get to you. How ridiculous!
On Christmas Eve, Hawkeye sat in her quarters with nary a peep outside the door. She did, however, spend a good bit of time by the window, staring out into the snow that was slowly beginning to cover the entirety of Central Command. Such a place of horrors and lies could look almost beautiful in the Christmas snow.
Far across the grounds, she could see the male officers' quarters. Lights were shining in most of them, revealing that they, too, couldn't sleep on a night like tonight. It was almost like tradition. Hawkeye never could sleep on Christmas Eve, ever since she was a little girl. Why try it now? It would only ruin the feel of it all.
Black Hayate gave a little yip, and she looked down to see that he wanted to be petted. She smiled as she picked him up and put him in her lap to pet him. However, he immediately jumped onto the windowsill and pawed at the snow. It was only a few minutes before he grew frustrated at not being able to get to it through the glass.
She laughed as she pulled him back and said, "I know, I know. It's hard, isn't it? You see something you want so close. It's right there. All you have to do is reach out and touch it, but it seems like there's always some kind of barrier in the way…like a glass window, or a door." She thought a moment and added, "Or a cowardly heart."
The little dog looked up at her with questioning eyes, and she laughed again. "I know you don't understand a thing I'm saying, Black Hayate, but it means something all the same just that you're listening. So while we're on the topic, what do you think, huh? What do you think of Colonel Mustang?"
At the mention of his favorite soldier, the dog jumped up and began to bark excitedly. Hawkeye just smiled and said, "Yeah, I agree. He really is a great man, isn't he? And between you and me, I think he'll be an excellent Fuehrer someday. He's so strong-willed. He really can do anything he chooses."
Looking down at those big brown eyes, so innocent and yet so convicting, she groaned in her own frustration. She began to pace as she said, "So what am I supposed to do? I can't keep this up. I either have to stop thinking about him this way or act on it. One way or the other, it can't end well…can it? No, that's just ridiculous!"
She finally sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at Black Hayate, who was wagging his tail at her sweetly. "You know, I've been alone for Christmas for the past ten years at least. Maybe it's time to stop that. What do you think, Black Hayate?"
He gave one little yip, suggesting that she was right, so before she lost all the nerve she had gathered over the past few minutes of talking, she walked over to the telephone and dialed a very familiar number.
A moment later, a deep voice answered and said, "Colonel Mustang."
"Good evening, sir," she said as formally as usual.
She could hear a bit of astonishment in his voice when he replied, "Lieutenant Hawkeye…Riza." Of course, she wasn't sure whether that astonishment was good or bad. Wait a minute. Had he just called her by her first name?
"Yes, sir," she replied a bit unsurely. "I was just wondering if you have any plans for Christmas dinner."
"The same as usual," he said with a laugh. "Go to any random restaurant and order the closest thing to turkey."
She tried not to sound too relieved that he had no previous plans. She took a deep breath and finally said, "I know this is a bit short-notice, sir, but Black Hayate and I were wondering if you would like to have Christmas dinner with us. You see, ever since Thanksgiving, he's grown to love turkey, so I promised to make him one. The two of us alone could hardly eat all of that. Would you please join us?"
There was a long pause, during which, all she could feel was the hard beating of her heart. She swore that it was so loud that he probably heard it through the telephone. Finally, she could tell that he was smiling, as he said, "What time should I be there?"
She smiled brightly and replied, "Seven?"
"I'll be there with bells on," he said with a sarcastic laugh. "See you then, Riza."
She nodded and hung up the phone. When it was over, she gave a deep sigh of relief and turned to Black Hayate again, who was now, to her imagination, giving her a look that said, "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?"
"No, it wasn't," she said to him. "It wasn't hard at all. You know, maybe I am going to get the one thing I wanted for Christmas this year after all, Black Hayate. Maybe…just maybe."
A bit short, I know. Just a little drabble that I thought of while getting into the holiday spirit. I hope everyone has a very happy holiday and a wonderful New Year, may you all be blessed with family, friends, and lots and lots of cake this holiday season!