Again, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. One thing I can promise is that I will never leave a story of mine unfinished. In fact, I really should be trying to sleep right now, but I don't want to loose what I've come up with by waiting until morning. I apologize right now for the angst to come. It will not last long, but it's been in the works for awhile. Otherwise, I would've found a way around it, because right not, if angst were a person I'd want to kick his ass. And remember, this is back in February, when Mickey and Maggie were having problems, too. Now read, this shouldn't have gotten so long.

There has been much debate over the centuries as to the true definition of death. If a man flat lines on the operating table, but is brought back, has he really died? If a woman in a coma looses brain activity, but her heart is still beating, is she dead? For that matter, could death merely be the cessation of living? And what was the opposite of life? Death or, simply, apathy? Could death and apathy, in fact, be the same thing?

Sami had no idea her thoughts were so complex or confusing as she sat musing on the definition of death. All she knew was that Lucas had died without ever having lost the ability to think or the beat of his heart. If there was such a thing as living death, he embodied it.

He was calm. He was cool. He was empty. Without realizing he had done so, he had withdrawn from life, he had withdrawn from her.

The only time he seemed to be her Lucas anymore was in bed. He'd come to life. He'd be passionate and loving. His touch would be gentle. He'd whisper all the right words as he loved her, and in that moment she would believe.

And then he would withdraw again. She'd promise herself that this would be the day that she'd talk to him, but then he'd show just a hint of his true self. And Sami knew from experience that forcing him to go back would not be the way to fix it. So she would wait. She was still waiting.

And so, Sami Brady sat alone at a booth in the pub sipping her hot tea and waiting.

……………………………………………….

Lucas sat on the couch staring blankly at the TV. He wasn't watching it. He wasn't doing anything, just sitting.

Life was a lot simpler when the only things you focused on were eating, sleeping and sex. And, of course, he couldn't forget the sitting. Unfortunately, his very productive day of staring at nothing was interrupted by a knock on the door. Damn people with their knocking on doors and making him do things.

And, of course, it had to be Maggie with her false cheerfulness and her probably fake love for him. Mother figures weren't good for anything if real mothers weren't. But he'd rather not think about that.

"What're you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd check on my favorite nephew."

He flopped back onto the couch and fixed her with a quiet gaze, "I'm not really your nephew, though, am I? Mickey's married to Bonnie."

"I'm not quite sure about the legalities of our situation."

A dark thrill filled him at the shake in her voice and immediately he hated himself. But, then, he couldn't find it in him to care about her problems. He had problems of his own.

"Besides, Lucas, I came here to see how you're doing."

"Oh, please, let's skip me. We both know you'd much rather talk about yourself. Go for it."

Maggie looked at him with a shock he didn't even have to put effort in to ignore.

"I came here to check on you, Lucas. Mickey and I will be fine in the end. There's no other way for it to turn out."

"Wow. You're either naive as hell or living in denial. But, you know what; I bow to your superior knowledge and faith. If you want to be a fool, that's fine with me."

"Lucas, I know you're hurting right now, but…"

"I'm sorry; did I hurt you with the truth? Don't worry, Maggie, you're still young. You'll bounce back just fine."

Maggie looked for the entire world, like she had lost her sense of direction. This was a Lucas she had never encountered before. A cold, sarcastic Lucas that had always been kept far away from her.

With her almost regal dignity still intact, she raised herself slowly from the couch. With a gaze that was no less loving than it had ever been, Maggie lifted her chin.

"I know you're hurting right now, so I won't hold this against you. I just hope you can find yourself again before you loose everything. I love you, Lucas."

With her head held high, she walked out the door with only a passing nod to Sami.

Sami entered the apartment quietly. She betrayed no hint of the growing fury inside her body, that found its origin in her deepest fears come to life, until the door had closed. Then she turned.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Lucas looked unaffected by her wrath and only gazed up at her with a blank, if some what warmer look. It was the warmth that he fixed on her and her alone that always stopped her from talking about it, but this was too much.

"How could you talk to Maggie like that? She's loved you like a mo…"

Quickly, she stopped what she had been about to say, but he knew. The slight warmth she had detected disappeared and he was once again a man she didn't want to recognize.

"Go ahead, say it. 'She's loved me like a mother.' See, there's the problem. Mothers aren't good for anything. All they do is destroy your life."

She gave a dry laugh that held no humor in its depths, "Really. Well, what about me, Lucas. I'm a mother. Am I going to destroy Will's life? Am I going to betray him and break his heart? Is that what you think?"

There was emotion in his eyes now. She had hit something, but in her anger she couldn't see that, "No, no. Sami, you're…different."

"But Maggie is just like Kate!"

"I don't want to talk about her."

"You need to talk about her, Lucas. You need to do something. You're scaring me."

The warning in his voice was almost palpable, "You don't understand."

"You're right. I don't understand. Because you won't talk to me. I'm here, ready and waiting for you to confide in me. I want you to lean on me. I want to help you through this, I need to."

"Yeah, of course you need to help me. Damn that guilty conscience, right? Well, I don't need your help. I'll deal with this in my own time, in my own way. You see, my mother betrayed everything I thought was true in my life. If you can't let me deal with this, then maybe we shouldn't be getting married."

Her body reeled back a fraction of an inch as the words flew out of his mouth. She closed her eyes and he watched her soak in the rash words he had let out. When she opened her eyes again there was a calm sadness there that broke something inside of him.

She picked up her purse and looked him straight in the eyes, "Fine, Lucas, let her win."