The door closed with a resounding thud and that's when he knew it was real. His bottom had been pulled out from under him yet again. Everything was upside-down and topsy-turvy and he was slowly sinking into an abyss of his own making.

A desperate panic welled up inside of him, taking control. A hazy cloud of endless misery engulfed him and his legs moved to the door of their own violation. He wrenched open the door, positive that she would still be on the other side because Sami would never leave him.

The elevator doors were closing as he looked out in helpless silence. His breathing quickened and he tried with practiced patience to wake up from what had to be another nightmare. This was not happening. He had not just pushed Sami out of his life. Never Sami.

This was all her fault. The stupid bitch was always ruining everything. How could she drive Sami out of his life? He needed her. Why was it that his mother always cost him the things that mattered most?

……………………………………………..

"Oh my God, Sami? What's the matter?"

To say that finding her big sister looking like that outside of her door was something of a surprise would be an understatement. It seemed that Sami was never completely without emotional turmoil and, somehow, she had been dragged into most of it recently.

It was a lot easier than thinking about Philip and Shawn, though.

Sami settled on Belle's couch while letting her little sister make whatever warm drink concoction she felt like inventing in the kitchen. She was too tired to care.

That was the only emotion she felt right now, just tired. Keeping from thinking about anything and everything was hard work. All her energy was drained and sleep would have been such a welcome option. Only problem was that Lucas wouldn't be with her when she tried to go to sleep later tonight and somehow that just felt wrong.

Belle handed her a warm mug and her mind settled on wondering when the little cream colored coffee cup with the ceramic lizard eating part of the handle had become "her" mug. Maybe she was depending on her little sister too much.

Belle sat Indian style facing her completely ready for the next installment of "Sami and Lucas's Great Adventure," also known as life, and she found herself deeply grateful for the undivided attention of somebody.

"So, what happened?"

Sami took a deep breath and tried in vain to find the right words, "I think… well, I think Lucas broke up with me."

"Th-that's crazy. Have you seen the way he looks at you? It was probably nothing."

She rubbed her temple in a preemptive attempt to stop a headache from forming, and then quickly drew her hand away. Great, now she was even using his nervous habits.

"He's been so different lately, Belle. After everything that Kate did, he can't find his way and he won't let me help him."

"This has got to be hard for him, though. From everything I've heard, it sounds like Lucas and Kate were really close. Maybe he just needs more time."

"I wasn't the one who left, Belle. He keeps pushing me away."

"Then push him back. My sister would never let it end this way."

Sami bit her lip before choosing her words carefully, "Nothing's ending while I have a say in it. I just… I don't know if he'll let me help him."

………………………………………………...

Pace, pace, turn. Pace, pace, turn. This was good. Pacing was mindless. Pace, pace, turn. The emotional high which had brought him here was slowly wearing away and he desperately wanted it back.

"Lucas, baby, I knew you'd come eventually."

He didn't turn around. He couldn't. It was much easier to maintain the blinding fury when he wasn't looking at her. Looking at her would make the fact that he had sent his mother to jail a reality. What kind of a son did that? Was he really any better than her?

Steeling himself he turned around and sat on the chair across from her. She was looking at him with the love of a mother and that sent a hot bolt of anger through him. Bitch.

"I'm not here to help you. All I want is for you to answer one question, that's all."

Kate tossed her hair back and he wondered how much of what he saw was an act. She seemed perfectly composed, more like she was meeting him for lunch rather than in a prison. He could almost term her expression as defiant.

"What do you want to know?"

He let out a whoosh of air and kept his tone calm and quiet, "What did I do that made you hate me?"

The look of horror on her face gave him no satisfaction and, even worse, it gave him no answer. That was all he needed. If he could find the answer, then everything would get better. Maybe he could deserve Sami again and the constant questioning in his mind would stop.

Her voice was not the shriek he half expected, but instead there was a quality that he couldn't define.

"You think I hate you?"

He clenched his jaw, "Why else would you destroy my life?"

"It was never you, Lucas. You're a father. You have to understand the lengths a parent would go to protect their child. The stupid bitch would have ruined your life. She had to be stopped."

The absolute coldness in her eyes touched something in him and her words stopped his breath. "Stupid bitch..." how many times had those same words entered his mind since he had found out the truth? Was this what he was going to become?

She continued repeating the same complaints against Sami that he had heard for most of his life and he was amazed at the simplicity of what was before him. Her anger had turned her into something not quite human anymore and he could not let that be him. There was simply no way.

"I need to let you go," the realization was the softest whisper, his salvation from the storm and he looked in her eyes, willing her to understand, "I love you, Mom, because I can't stop that, but I need to let you go. I can't let this take me down."

He didn't stay to hear her complaints, but a small smile graced his features as he walked away.

……………………………………………..

"You're here."

It was a statement of wonder and a part of Sami was sure that her imagination was acting up. Lucas sat on her couch somehow looking brighter. The dark cloud that had hung over him had lessened somewhat.

He ignored her statement and waved her to come towards him. She stopped a few inches from where he sat and he took her hand and gently guided her onto his lap, "I've been a real bastard lately, haven't I?"

With a tiny shrug she wrapped her arms loosely around his neck, "I've been known to be a bitch from time to time."

His arms tightened around her and he drank in her scent. The tiniest quiver of fear shook his voice, "You still love me?"

She kissed his temple and tightened her grip, "Always."

He closed his eyes and let her soothe him, "Everything isn't fixed yet."

"I know"

"I'll need you to help me."

"I'm always here, Lucas."

She pulled back enough to stroke his cheek lightly and look into his eyes. He rewarded her with a tender smile.

"And, maybe, once everything's okay, we could get married."

She pressed her forehead against his and absorbed the moment, "You have to do one thing for me, first. Can you talk to Maggie?"

He lowered his eyes in shame and his heart skipped a beat, "I already decided to see her first thing tomorrow."

"Good," she leaned forward and brushed a light kiss on his lips.

He held on to Sami tightly and finally felt free from it all "We'll be fine."


We've reached the end of another one. This one got a little longer than I planned, but it was worth it. I know the end's a little open-ended, but I think it gives Lumi room to heal. If you find yourself desperate for closure, I might add an epilogue, but remember that the word 'might' is in there. Remember to keep the Lumi faith, guys. I'll be back sooner or later.