Author's Note: Please review! I cut the slang so it wouldn't annoy you guys too much. Thank you all for your reviews so far! Keep em comin'!

Disclaimer: Who do I own? NO ONE! Besides? ALEXA!

I could so be a cheerleader.

Chapter Four - Square Girl and the Two Fatties

Of course I demand to know who this chick is.

"Draco, love, I demand to know who this chick is." Deja vu.

I really do speak my mind.

"Oh, her?" I nod. Yeah. Who else, bub, who else? "She's just this girl that follows me around."

"Just some girl that follows you around!" demands the square girl. "What about the ring you gave me?" She pulled this plastic-y gold ring off. It had a little sparkley thing on it too, like a fake jewel. The ring looked like the rings you got out of the 25-cent machines at Toys'R'Us.

"Oh, that? Goyle's mom gave that to him, I don't know how you got a hold of it." Then he whispers in my ear while looking at the fat dudes: "That's Crabbe, and that's Goyle."

I laugh. Fat kids getting toy rings from their moms. Surely, this could only happen in the U.K.

"No!" yells the girl, and her face gets all red, like a tomato. An ugly tomato. "You gave me this at the beginning of last year and you said you'd always love me!" She starts stomping her feet all over the place. OMG, this is hilarious! I'm surprised that she doesn't fall down and start kicking her legs up in the air like those Berenstein Bears did in one of the books 'cause they didn't get the little cats that squeaked and and stuck out their tongues. I just hoped this girl didn't start squeaking and sticking out her tongue.

"Uh. I don't remember that. When was that?" Draco stares at her and raises an eyebrow, and I am totally happy you know, 'cause I can tell he totally hates this girl, just as I do. Like girlfriend, like boyfriend, as they say. Wait? Is that it...?

"It was after hours in the Common Room last October, don't you remember?" The girl groaned and started crying all crazy-like, like you would when your mom died, or when you don't wake up early enough to go to the Thanksgiving Morning After Sales as Macy's. "It was a beautiful, dark, night..." She gets down on one knee, and looks to the sky. Maybe she's checking to make sure that there's no birds flying around to take a little doo on her. Waittt. We're in a train. I am SO confused.

She continues: "I couldn't see your stunning face, but indeed I knew in my heart that it was the gorgeous Draco. You spoke softly, and we chatted about the treats from the Feast before. You said, 'But you're even sweeter.' And you proceeded to kissing me for at least twenty minutes, then you presented me with this ring. You said that it was a worn old ring that represented Eternal Love, and that you would love me forever, and then you left."

"Soo... why haven't you talked to me about this before...?" My baby looked like he was trying to keep a straight face. Myself, though? I was laughing like crazy. Total LMAO-stuff.

Suddenly she was standing upright, her tears dried, like magic."I dunno! Just never came up. Odd, now that you think about it."

"Oh. Okay. Well, that wasn't me." Draco shrugged.

Dun dun dunnnn. (Now, I bet none of us saw THAT one coming.)

"Then who was it?"

Oh, yes, ugly square girl, let's get all mysterious! In fact, we can join Mystery, Inc. ! And we can find everything out, but only if you have a few boxes of Scooby Snacks! I resisted the urge to lyke yell, "Let's split up, gang!"

"Oh, yeah." Short fattie steps up. "That was me. Sorry, Pansy, I thought you were really hot. I think it's because you look like a square Paris Hilton."

You know, neither of the little fatties had said anything, and that being the first to come out of one of their mouths... Well lyke... That was just kinda scariee.

"Git!" yelled the other one, who I guessed was Goyle. "I couldn't have dessert for a week because I thought I lost it and my mum got really mad!"

Ahhh, this was gonna be a rilly funnie visit. I could tell already.

A/N: Sorry for such a shot chapter. Review so I can post more up:)