Invisible
Summary:I have always been by his side...but he never saw me. I have always loved him...but he never loved me. All I ever was to him...was invisible.
I Wish You Were Here…
From behind this world, lies a sad girl. This girl is me. I hide behind the shell of empty happiness. Every thought of joy pushed back, only letting emotion of the darker elements shine through my chocolate eyes. Every time, I would cry with the mere thought of him. He would always plague my mind…in good ways and bad. He was always there…ever since we first met.
Time. It separates us. I do not care…I come back for him every time. I will always be by his side…He just does not understand why. He may be old beyond counting, but his attitude, his way of acting, everything about him is young to me…he acts like a child. A stubborn child that wants only one thing…oh how I wish I were his candy, I wish he wanted me…he never wants me, he waits for me to get into some trouble, then he goes and saves me…he never can be sweet like that boy who kisses up to me just so I can date him. Enough about that boy…I do not love him.
Sure, my darling may have his rare moments where he will seem like he cares about me...he would hug me, hold me close, and let me cuddle against him, and say sweet things to me or let me say sweet things without us fighting like always! He acts like he cares! Just for one split second he acts like he loves me! But…those things are only rare moments. Moments that are so fragile that I make sure that they are safely hidden, or better yet, buried in my mind. My memories with him are easily broken…
I cry for him, when I see him battle out there, blood spilling out from his wounds…supposedly to protect me. But he cannot fool me. I am not that stupid to fall for that! He does it because he loves the fights…he loves the blood…he loves the dead.
He loves her…even if she is not part of our world. He holds her deep in his heart, never letting her go. He went to her when she called…even if it meant certain death for my beloved. I wish he would come for me when I called to him…even if he does, my love will go to her. She will make sure I cannot have him…even if she is part of the dead…she wants him. And he…wants her…
I try to keep him by my side…so I will not lose him…I love him more than anything…and I do not want to lose him. She tries to take him from me…I will not let her…that evil demon witch. I will not let her take him from me! I wish she were gone…but if she were…his heart will only grow stronger with her missing presence…fifty years without her never lessened his love for her…but made it greater. It is so great…there is no room in his heart to love me.
I love him.
I love him.
I love him.
I know I should tell him…but I cannot. He loves her…more than ever. But it is impossible! She is dead…she died and her soul was embedded within me. I was her…but I am not her. When he sees me, he does not see me…he sees her.
If I were her…he would love me.
Now here I am…standing over the well…the well…
Curse this stupid well.
I met you over this well…I came to you through this stupid piece of rock…oh, who am I fooling? This well means so much to me…that is why…I am to fall beyond it…and into your arms… If only you knew how much I want to be with you when I go back to my own era…how much I miss you…
I could always forget about you…I have thought about that. But it is too hard for me…I cannot forget you…just like you cannot forget her. You and your stupid necrophilia...why can you not accept the fact that she is dead? I'm here for you…always…but you do not see me…you do not acknowledge me at all.
Now, here, I stand over the well…my well…our well…
My grave.
Why can you not understand the pain I feel every time you are near? Why can you not see me? Why can you not love me?
Who am I kidding…he cannot love me…he just cannot.
I just desire, as I stand over this well…that you were with me…by my side. I cherish your presence with me…I feel…wanted. But you only see what is in front of you…whether it be death or life, you cannot see me…I am merely invisible.
I hope that you will miss me…I hope that you will at least shed one pure, fragile tear for me. Please, my love, remember me…do not forget me…even if you despise to do so, please keep me in your heart. I…I do…do not want you to regret anything…that is my wish. Love, do not think that this is your fault…this choice, was mine alone.
Even now, as I draw my silver friend from my coat and hold it to my head, I still love you. Even if you forget me…and move on to love the dead you so deeply value…I will always love you. Even if you are my last thought, your face, your voice, your very being plaguing my mind…I will love you forever…even if you do not love me.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I do not want to be alone this very moment…I want to be with you. I am scared…the tears just keep on coming. My fingers grasp the cold metal, my hand shakes uncontrollably…my frown…is gone…my hand…it steadies…the trigger…so close…
I wish you were here…
Farewell, my love.
…so you could stop me.
BAM!
The ruby life seeps from the wound, as the frail, limp body I use to call home, falls down the well. I know it will go to you…my body…you are waiting for me to go to your era…well, love, I'm coming. Surprise…you will love my surprise…I am certain that you will...I hope you can see it…ah…I know you will see it…it smiles…for you…the boy who loves the dead.
THE END
Author's note: Um…yeah…we were kinda talking about necrophilia in class a couple months ago…and then I watched that one Inuyasha episode where Inuyasha goes and looks for Kikyo even if that COUGH&!$(&(!)&$COUGH is dead…so yeah…um…I guess this fic can go under the category of: RANDOM DULUSIONS OF ONE VERY DISTURBED GIRL …ahahaha…I'm not disturbed…just very…uh…ahahaha…going through a rough time where I would love to kill a certain boy who has been tugging at my heart for some time…ah…that felt good to let out! Feel free to leave some reviews/comments/ suggestions/ flames/ anything else…please? They are always welcome! X