Ronin
A TGS-based story
by C.S. Hayden
Disclaimer: Gargoyles is the property of Disney and Buena Vista Television. Characters from "Yama's Path" by Kimberly Towle appear by permission. All original characters and plot are the creative property of Christi Smith Hayden.
Author's Note: The next few chapters will overlap events that occurred in Tengu but will be presented from Kirin's POV.
Part VI
From the journal of Kirin, teacher and weapons master, formerly of Ishimura
KobeJapan --2015
I will remember that flight back from Kobe for the rest of my life. Ariana – that irreverent, wild, incorrigible creature – she loved to read! I had been thinking that perhaps she'd only been reading Jane Eyre because it was one of the few English books in my collection. As it turned out, she had grown up with the large private library of her clan's benefactor, the multi-billionaire David Xanatos. We talked of books and authors and movies until I felt positively light-headed and giddy. I hadn't realized just how much I'd missed simply talking with someone who shared some of my interests.
When my mood darkened at mention of returning to Ishimura, Ariana teased me into an exuberant dance across the skies. I was infuriated at first but then something came over me. The glow in her eyes enchanted me and I was lost. My blood was fire in my veins and once again I was a young warrior in flight.
The problem was that neither was I young nor was I the only warrior with Ariana in my sights.
Like eagles in flight, they plummeted in freefall towards the ground. Ariana pulled out of her dive a few feet above it and skimmed over the long grasses, leaving a wedge-shaped trail in her wake. Kirin's momentum had him only a few body lengths behind her as they shot out back over the deep river gorge. Bright moonlight cast his shadow on the steep stone walls and Ariana took evasive action, pivoting on a wingtip and spinning around him.
"Ha!" she called out. "Saw you!"
"Two can play that game!" he retorted and executed his own tight turn. Together they wove an intricate pattern high in the Japanese sky, coming quite close to one another and spinning away at just the last second. The tips of their wings brushed like autumn leaves on the wind. Ariana's eyes dance as she sailed in towards Kirin and he matched her move as they both drifted down into the gorge like a pair of spiraling maple seeds.
"Why, Kirin-san," she said coyly, "Who would have guessed a bookworm like you could be so graceful?"
Kirin smiled and it was becoming more natural every time. "You'd be surprised," he replied. "I wasn't always a sour old persimmon, Ari-chan. I was young once."
"Oh, that…" Ariana laughed, ducking her head as if she were embarrassed. "You've grown on me since then."
"I'm glad," he answered in a low voice and held out his hand.
Her eyes grew luminous as she started to reach out towards him.
His heart skipped a beat.
And the prize was snatched from his grasp.
I have never struck out at my students in anger. Perhaps a thump or two in the sparring ring but even then I kept a cool head. When Takakura intervened at that moment, however, I was nearly overtaken by a killing rage. Skydancing is the most innocent form of gargoyle flirting; the partners, for the most part, never touch but the thrill of the chase is similar to a mating flight. I remember all too well what that was and perhaps that is why I snapped – my blood was up and my heart was pounding and the way she had looked at me –
I had no right to feel this way.
No right at all.
Ashamed of his irrational display of temper, Kirin returned to the schoolroom in a tempest of emotions that he'd thought long past. The surge of adrenaline in his veins forced him to pace restlessly as he tried to calm himself. The abrupt end of the evening was as great a shock as if someone had stuck a knife in his heart.
He flopped down on the cushions besides his precious books. Very few of the Tengu cared to learn anything about the human world so he'd often felt isolated among them. Even though Ariana's opinions were different, it had been delightful to talk with her -- so much so that he hadn't minded at all when she'd chose to lead him in a wild chase across the sky. It had been invigorating, intoxicating – he sighed as he hugged a pillow to his chest, breathing in her scent and wishing that their skydance had ended differently.
The floor creaked behind him. Kirin didn't need to look up – there was only one person in the village with a step that light. He put the pillow aside as if he'd only been straightening up. "I'm sorry, O-tama. I lost my temper."
"I do not blame you," the Tengu healer said as she settled herself down on a neighboring cushion, looking not unlike a silver-haired Buddha. "Takakura acted rashly. Hopefully this experience will teach him a thing or two."
"Did I hurt him?"
"He's got a nasty-looking scrape down his back and probably some bruises but he will be fine." O-tama paused and he suspected that she was probably giving him a long, soul-searching look. "Takamatsu told the Three that you were assigned to chaperone Ariana and that you were only doing your job. Ariana seemed disappointed."
Kirin closed his eyes and pressed his lips together tighter.
"Kirin-san, it is all right to let yourself feel something for her. This is not Ishimura; we Tengu often have mates from different generations."
It was an observation that O-tama had made before. The Tengu had adapted to accommodate a dwindling genetic base; unlike most gargoyle clans, mates were not strictly monogamous. No one had ever rebuked him for any of his trysts; in fact, the Tengu had been more disturbed by his vow of celibacy.
O-tama continued. "There is no shame in listening to your heart."
"But it is!" He bit out the words. "I can't do this any more, O-tama! I know this is your doing!"
"No one is forcing you to do anything, Kirin-san," O-tama replied gently. "You agreed to this task, and it has not been totally unpleasant, neh?"
"I cannot believe I did that to Tak," Kirin huffed, rattling his whiskers. "I am too old to have these feelings! She is too young for me to be acting this way!"
"Nonsense," O-tama commented. "You are a male in your prime, not a withered old elder. If anything, you are a moth to a flame."
"How so?" He turned his head and looked at her sharply.
"A moth is safe while it sits in the shadows," O-tama explained, "but a moth circling a flame, dancing in its radiance – that is when it is truly alive, when it is claiming that spark as its own."
"It is a dangerous dance," he observed. "It comes at too high a price. The moth may catch its wings on fire, especially if its wings have been singed before."
"Or it may become a phoenix and rise from the ashes."
They were silent and for several minutes, all that could be heard were the sounds of crickets and cicadas high up in the trees. Without saying it directly, O-tama was telling him that if he chose to pursue Ariana, no one would object. She was the only one that he had ever told about his past – his ex-mate and his sterility and all the deep-buried hurt he kept hidden from everyone else. O-tama knew how much he wanted a companion of his own, someone with similar interests with whom he could share his life with. Ariana could be that someone if only his pride would let him.
"I will give her this," Kirin admitted reluctantly. "She is infuriating, impulsive, generous to a fault," his voice dropped to a shaky hush, "but when I am with her, I no longer feel alone."
"Then that, Kirin-san, is a good thing." O-tama's skirts rustled and the wooden floor creaked as she stood up. "Tak is waiting to speak with you. I daresay Takamatsu has warmed his ears by now."
"I suppose there's no point in putting it off," he sighed. "Perhaps you should take Ari-chan's bag – it might not be wise for me to do it."
"As you wish, Kirin-san." The floorboards creaked and moaned as the two gargoyles left the building.
Whenever Kirin needed to find the Three, all he had to do was to look up a tree. As hatchlings, they had built numerous tree dwellings but after they became adults, they decided that they deserved a place of their own. Takakura found the perfect spot high up in a narrow, deep canyon filled with a stand of tall trees. The original cave was no more than a fissure when they started but Tancho devised a way to carve out the inside of the bluff to form room-sized pockets. The three young males spent two years hammering away at the project, with the occasional assistance of some of the others. Kirin had been brought in for the finer woodworking when they began lining the floors and walls with cedar planks. They even went to the extent of adding windows and doors with sliding frames for the cold winter months. The end result was a comfortable hideaway hidden amongst the treetops with all the comforts of home.
"He may not want to see you," Mozu said as they soared up the mountain. He had been collecting provisions and reluctantly agreed to take Kirin with him. "You know how hot-headed Tak can be."
"I know," Kirin agreed. "I owe him an apology, nonetheless. It is the proper thing to do."
"He's still smarting from Takamatsu's lecture." Mozu sighed. He didn't need to elaborate; it was well known how highly Takakura regarded his father's approval. A cross word from Takamatsu carried more weight than the fiercest thrashing in the sparring ring.
"What did Takamatsu say to him or do you know?"
Shaking his head, Mozu made the slow turn into the narrow canyon. "He left the meeting hall without a word to anyone. Tancho figures this is where he was headed."
The steep glide down to their hideaway was tricky. They had carefully trimmed the branches of the trees nearest the granite bluff to form a leafy tunnel to their front door. Kirin had to tuck his wings slightly to make it into the opening, consequently increasing his descent. Smaller fliers like Mozu and Takakura had no problem but the bluff walls showed the deep scratches where Kirin and Tancho had made less successful attempts. Kirin only overshot the door by a few feet, rebounding off a tree to reach the entrance.
Takakura was scowling at Mozu across the low table in the center of the room. "Why did you bring him here?" The table was littered with papers but most of its surface was taken up with a road map of Japan held down on the corners with sake cups. Ever since he was old enough to sneak into the campgrounds, Takakura had filched a sizeable collection of maps from Japanese provinces to an Oklahoma state map from the United States. Kirin tended to overlook his petty larceny because it was an excellent opportunity to teach geography.
"I have come to apologize, Takakura-san," Kirin said simply. "I allowed emotions to cloud my judgment and you bore the brunt of it. It was wrong of me and I beg your forgiveness." He bowed low to Takakura in a show of humility.
"Is it true?" Takakura asked, not looking at him. "What Takamatsu said – that you were acting as her chaperone?"
"It was my duty to do so."
"Then why would she want to spend so much time with you?" His voice was harsh with accusation. "Whenever one of us wanted to be with her, she was always off with you!"
Kirin bristled. "Did any of you bother to talk to her? Did you find out what she likes and what she dislikes?" He snorted, swinging his barbels about. "I've seen how you've been acting – parading around like a peacock. A female likes to be valued for her mind as well as her body. Did you honestly think that Ariana would swoon just because you would rather flaunt your own qualities instead?"
"You talk as if you are courting her – are you?" Takakura demanded angrily, thrusting his chin out.
Kirin shook his head. "It would not matter."
"Why not?" Mozu asked. It was the first time he'd spoke up and they turned to look at him. "She likes you, you like her – why not?"
"I am too old to make a fitting match," Kirin said resignedly. "No one would approve."
"What's her favorite food?" Mozu asked suddenly.
"Her uncle Broadway's chocolate chip cookies."
"And her favorite color?"
"Blue." He couldn't help smiling a little. "Although I imagine that she looks good in anything."
"There!" Takakura reached out and smacked Mozu's shoulder. "Did you see, feather-head?"
"What?" Kirin scowled at them.
Mozu ruffled his plumed crest and laughed in his quiet way. "We were watching when you and Ariana were flying back from the city. The two of you were only talking but whatever it was about, everything she said made you smile. You do it more often than you think."
"We were only discussing books," Kirin said dismissively. "Her clan has access to a library so she's very well read." He paused for moment and a pensive look crossed his face. "I enjoy living here," he said slowly, "but sometimes, I miss things like that."
"We read books," Takakura said, nonplussed. "So what?"
"Only after I threatened you at knifepoint," Kirin countered. "I taught you how but none of you really reads unless it's necessary. It's different to read a book simply because you enjoy doing so." He smoothed out a wrinkle in the map, diverting their attention in order to change the topic. "I see your mind has gone wandering again, Tak. Where are you planning to go now?"
The long-nosed Tengu shrugged. "The elders are wrong to keep us here," he commented. "You should have heard Doryo droning on, that tired wheeze about how we should keep apart from the outside. If Ariana doesn't find us to her liking, why shouldn't we seek other females who do?" He idly traced the outline of the highway that ran around the southern coast of Japan. "The trip can't be that difficult if she did it."
"As I understand it," Kirin said wryly, "her brother packed her in a crate and mailed her to a train station in Osaka while she was in stone sleep." He leaned in, squinting at the map before pointing to a blue line. "I would ride on the roof of a night train. There are several that run between here and Tokyo. From there it's only a matter of flying overland to Ishimura."
Takakura traced the distance between Ishimura and Tokyo with a talon tip. "You wouldn't continue on with the train?"
"Going overland cuts time off the trip." Kirin shrugged. "It makes no difference to me as I'm unlikely to return there."
"How do you suppose Ariana is planning to return to Ishimura?" Mozu asked.
"I doubt she's thought that far," Kirin snorted. "Ari-chan is all intuition and impulse. Still," he admitted, "she's resourceful enough to find her own way; I have no worries about that."
In truth, until Mozu had mentioned it, Kirin hadn't considered that Ariana would eventually leave them. On the night of her arrival that she told them that she was to return to Ishimura within a week. It hadn't bothered him at the time but now he found it troubled him more than he thought it would. He hid his reaction from Takakura and Mozu but it haunted him for the remainder of the night.
One thing was clear to me – I have spent far too much time in Ariana's company. A little space between us would be wise and I suggested as much to Miza when I returned to the village. She gave me an inscrutable look over her cooking pots but merely agreed, saying that Bana had plans for something the following evening. Ariana's laughter floated towards us on the evening breeze and suddenly I couldn't bear for her to see me. Without another word, I collected my portion of the communal meal and fled to my quarters.
Never before had the schoolroom seemed so empty. Only a few hours ago, it had warmth and life because she had been here with me. The book that Ariana was reading was still on the table and I picked it up. I found the place where she had left off and read a few paragraphs. Leafing through the book, the ill-fated wedding scene jumped out at me – Jane's shock was understandable but Rochester's words echoed in my heart. He was trapped by his past just as I was and taking pen in hand, I let his words speak for me.
The next night I kept my distance and watched as the females swept Ariana away in a giggling, tittering mass. I sent the Three off on patrol, saying that I wanted some time alone to meditate. My mind was too restless so I devoted myself to practicing with my swords instead. The physical and mental discipline of the exercise had nearly banished all thoughts of her when Ariana burst into the room. She was dressed in a kimono like a kabuki geisha complete with elaborate hair and makeup; apparently the others had been having fun at her expense. It took all my self-control not to laugh – poor Ariana!
I helped restore her to normal by removing Bana's elaborate hair ornaments and then offered her soap and water to remove the rice powder makeup on her face. I turned away and busied myself with my swords, assuming that she'd go behind the privacy screen to finish tidying up. Movement out of the corner of my eye threw my attention back. At first glance, she seemed to only be clad in her draped wings as she washed her face in the basin. Her eyes were closed but mine were memorizing each graceful movement as her hands dipped into the water, drifted over her face with sinuous motions of her fingers and returned down to complete the dance.
Ariana caught me looking and I attempted to defuse the situation by discussing my discovery of a new clue to our Wariguri investigation. As result, we soon found ourselves flying down to Kobe. She took my hand, saying that it had become habit, but I was grateful for the excuse. The fit of her hand in mine was becoming as familiar to me as a sword in a sheath; two separate things united in one purpose. I felt like a thief, stealing small bits of happiness for my own selfish needs.
I could not help myself.
It wasn't until her horn dug into his shoulder that Kirin realized that Ariana had fallen asleep. He rolled his eyes and started to protest but as he glanced down at her, it was as if he were seeing her for the first time -- the graceful torque of her body as she leaned against him, the delicate almond-shaped curve of her feathery eyelashes and the soft silkiness of her hair drifting along his arm. She seemed so small and fragile, an incongruity he knew, because she was a warrior of his own caliber.
Carefully he closed the palmtop and set it aside. Easing his arm around her, Kirin shifted Ariana so she fell more comfortably across his lap. He barely breathed as she stirred and nestled against his chest. His eyes watered. It had been years since he'd had any intimate encounters, not since the last ill-fated mating season, and longer still since any female had simply allowed him to hold her. It was an innocent pleasure that he'd long forgotten.
The wind shifted and there was a faint scent of ozone in the air. Nightly rain showers were the norm for this time of year. He unfolded his wings and stretched them over them both just in time for the first few drops. It was warm and dark inside the tent of his wings. He chewed on a barbel for a moment and then carefully rested his cheek just above her brow ridge. Mozu was right – Ariana did smell good. He could still catch a whiff of strawberries from her hair and the subtle scent of rose oil on her skin. The combined scent was intoxicating.
Once he had sat like this on guard duty with his former mate, both of them taking shelter beneath his wings. He remembered how deeply he'd loved Ikeike then, during their first few years of being mates. It had shocked him to the core when she'd demanded to break with him. Watching the mated pairs in the Tengu village only reminded him what he had lost and it only broke his heart further.
Mumbling, Ariana rubbed her cheek against him and her hand slipped down into the open neck of his tunic, brushing his chest. A lump in his throat threatened to choke him. Her touch was soft and warm against his skin, even with her fingers curled in slumber. It felt so good to be touched again. Ever since Ariana had first arrived, he'd fought the irresistible attraction he'd felt for her. No matter how rude or disrespectful he acted, no matter what mean thing he said or did, she refused to back down and met him head on. He had always been drawn to that kind of inner strength.
Ariana's wing slipped and, without thinking, Kirin reached down and carefully replaced it around her shoulders. She had tiny hands consisting of two fingers and thumb at the top of her wing spurs. A burnished silver ring adorned her index 'finger' and he mused over that little feminine touch. Ariana wasn't as big a tomboy as he had originally thought; she was neat in her dress and fastidious about her appearance. He smiled at how indignant she had been at the thought of the other females varnishing her hair as he fingered the shining strands with his free hand. Her hair was glorious – he'd acted as if it had been a chore but he'd loved having his hands in it as he'd freed her from the hair pins and combs. It flowed through his fingers like a lover's whisper.
"I wish things were different," he whispered hoarsely. "If I were younger, I would give you such a chase." He fought back the wave of sadness washing over him. He'd been praying for a mate for years – a soul mate and companion more than anything else. Ever since she had arrived, Ariana had filled his nights in a way that no one had in years. He felt… strangely whole when he was with her and that only made the situation worse.
"What am I thinking?" He closed his eyes and listened to the rain drumming on his wings. "If you truly knew me, you wouldn't want me."
Eventually, we followed the humans back into the mountains where the Three intercepted us. It was a good thing that they did; Ariana had dozed off before but when she did it a second time, Mozu's instincts as a healer picked up what I had not – her blood sugar had dropped dangerously low. Flying expends energy at a great rate so gargoyles tend to have hearty appetites but it would seem that Ariana needed to eat more frequently. I cursed myself for flying her to Kobe and back and for not noticing her distress sooner. Tancho produced some rice balls that served to revive her but something more substantial was needed.
I love to fish – there is something about wading into a clear stream and letting your mind wander while you wait for just the right one that is healing to the soul. While I fished, Ariana surprised me again by building a small fire and heating a flat stone on which to cook our fish. I never expected her to help with the meal; Ikeike always expected me to do all the work and then complain when it was not to her liking. Despite a girlish aversion to cleaning fish, Ariana anticipated my actions and helped with the cooking. As I sat across the fire from her, it was easy to pretend we were a mated pair sharing a meal together. It was as if I was living out one of my fondest dreams.
Perhaps that is why the invitation to the hot springs sprang to my lips so readily. It had been years since I had taken a female there and then usually with only one purpose. I was determined to keep my distance but Ariana took it upon herself to test that resolve. She nearly turned me to stone when she came out and posed languidly against the massive granite boulder that divided the pool. All that preserved her modesty was her wing talons cupping her breasts and a pair of tiny red underpants. My silence flustered her and she covered up with her wings as she settled into the water. I managed to keep my voice level and to pretend that I was unaffected but I was far from that – her impulsive striptease was giving me ideas that I hadn't entertained in years.
Somehow, Kirin had lost control of the conversation. It had started innocently enough. One minute he was telling Ariana of his childhood in Ishimura and the next, he was revealing his deepest and darkest secrets. In all the time that Kirin had lived with the Tengu, only O-tama had learned his true story and that had been in tiny pieces over twenty years. As much as he desired her, it was a last ditch effort to scare Ariana off and he knew it. The words seem to spill out of his mouth as if they had a life of their own.
"I wanted her as my mate so badly that I would have done anything to win her." He allowed anger to seep into his words. "I gave up teaching for her. I fought my way up through the ranks to become a weapons master for her. I was so blind with love for her that I never saw that her ambitions came first – when I stopped being useful to her, she threw me away." His voice dropped. "Everything – all those years together, everything I did for her – she ripped out my heart and she left an empty hole!"
As soon as the words had left his lips, Kirin felt as exhausted as if he'd been fighting all night long. The deed was done – there was no way that any sensible female would want him now.
His fur-tipped tail twitched beneath the water, causing agitated ripples. Any minute now, Ariana would break the silence with those words that he dreaded and the pity in her voice would kill what little joy he'd gleaned from her companionship. The very thought made him sick to his stomach.
Ariana was quiet for a long time. Kirin could see by her reflection in the water that she was chewing thoughtfully on her lower lip. Any moment now, he braced himself for her reaction – but then she did what he least expected. Easing over to the very edge of her ledge, Ariana stretched out her hand like a lifeline.
He drew in his breath sharply and stared at her curved fingers in disbelief.
"It's okay," she said calmly. "I'm not that girl." Her words hit him like a cleansing blast of winter wind, stealing away his breath. Her low-pitched voice was soft and self-assured and utterly fearless. In a single, simple gesture, he knew that Ariana had the strength to accept him exactly as he was. He wanted to weep for joy and he trembled with the effort to hold his emotions in check.
His hand shook as their fingertips touched. His callused fingers slowly traced the curve of her thumb and the inside of her palm before accepting what was offered and folding his hand around hers. So small and delicate compared to his and yet so impossibly strong. "No, you're not," he said finally in a rough voice, "You are most unique, Ari-chan."
It was not what he really wanted to say.
The conversation sailed into calmer waters as Ariana's questions led me into telling her in how I came to be with the Tengu. I found myself being curious about her romantic prospects and made light inquiries of my own. Ariana actually pulled away at that point and unwittingly gave me a glimpse of her pain. By the way that she constantly belittled her own appearance, I should have realized that there had been something deeper behind it. None of the males her own age had been able to see past her outer appearance to see her true beauty. She was just as lonely in her own way as I was in mine.
"A fine pair we make," Kirin commented, shifting his wings and making the water ripple in widening circles. "Fate has played a cruel trick on us." He snorted. "Or on me, at least. You are not ugly, Ari-chan."
"Yes, I am!" Ariana retorted hotly. "I look like Dad in drag."
"Nonsense." He paused for a moment and considered his next words. Another loon called in the distance. "Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?"
She sighed. "All right, what?"
"Do you remember that first night? When you came to Tenjo Temple?"
"Yes?"
"I approached from downwind. We had seen you from the sky, perched on Tengu Rock, and I had fully intended to punish you for desecrating one of our most sacred landmarks."
"Like there was a sign on the thing saying 'Don't Sit Here.'"
"When I got within range, you were brushing your hair." His voice softened at the memory. "At the time, I thought it was incredibly irreverent but even then I must confess that I truly enjoyed watching you. Your hair became so very glossy, so much so that the moonlight seemed to dance upon it." He caught her pensive expression reflected on the water. "Your whole manner changed too. You sat very straight with your head tilted to one side. Your hands performed each stroke so gracefully." He sighed at the maudlin tone his conversation had taken. "You closed your eyes and I couldn't help noticing how long and feathery your eyelashes are. Brushing your hair is the only time I think that you're truly at peace with yourself."
"Why do you say that?"
Kirin laughed harshly, puffing out his upper lip. "You may not want me to say."
"Try me."
"Have you ever listened to yourself, Ari-chan? You hide your insecurities behind a façade of wisecracks and self-depreciating humor. How can you expect anyone to like you when you do not like yourself?"
"Why don't you follow your own advice?" she countered hotly. "It's clear you've been playing the wounded martyr so long that you're afraid to do anything else."
"See?" Kirin shot back. "Always the sharp retort, the witty comeback -- you'll grow bitter and lonely before your time if you keep that up."
"Sounds like a one man pity party to me," she retorted. "If you hadn't been hiding out here in the sticks all these years, you'd know that there have been a lot of scientific advances in genetics. My uncle Lex had a similar problem to yours and he's got an egg in the rookery now."
"How is this possible?"
"Look, where I live in Manhattan, Xanatos' science branch has been doing research on gargoyle reproduction since the mating flight of 2007. They've learned a lot about how we breed. The world council is anxious to spread gargoyle DNA around."
"But how did they help your uncle?" Kirin asked suspiciously. "I do not understand."
"Well, Lex was a special case. The council put him and his mate together because he's web-winged and she carries a recessive gene for it. They had a lot in common – they're both brainy computer nerds – but there was just never any real chemistry with each together." Ariana laughed ruefully. "As a species, we gargoyles are really screwed up when it comes to reproduction. There's a reason why two specific gargoyles are attracted to each other. Have you ever heard of pheromones?"
Kirin had to think for a moment. Science had never been one of his fortes but helping Mozu with his studies had kept him current on biology terms. "A chemical produced by an organism that signals its presence to other members of the same species?"
Leaning forward, she peered around the rock at him. "You ate a dictionary when you were young, didn't you?"
"I've always had excellent mnemonic recall."
"Well, what they found out was that pheromones play a major part in a gargoyle's breeding cycle. The male pheromones stimulate a female's reproductive system and the female pheromones increase sperm production. For some reason, Red Wind's scent wasn't revving Uncle Lex into overdrive so the scientists took samples of both their pheromones and tinkered with it until they found a scent that did."
Kirin found the way Ariana referred to the intimate details of mating in dry textbook terms disturbing but he was intrigued nonetheless. "This is all very interesting but how does that apply to me?"
"Don't you get it? A male that isn't properly stimulated has a very low sperm count. Unlike humans, male gargoyles are most fertile at the peak of the breeding cycle. Chances are you and your so-called mate weren't a compatible match. Something about her pheromones weren't working for you."
The implications rendered him speechless for a moment. "Then…" his breathing grew more excited as the realization began to set in, "…they wouldn't have known this when I was tested thirty years ago," he concluded. "There might be hope for me."
"Maybe." Ariana shrugged and sank into the water, causing ripples. "I'm no expert. You'd have to confer with the doctors at Ishimura to be sure. Xanatos has a couple of research scientists there now."
"It's something worth thinking about," Kirin mused. "Domo arigato, Ari-chan."
"So, um, is the other thing the guys told me about you true too?"
"I do not know, Ari-chan," Kirin replied cautiously. "What did they say?"
Ariana hesitated for a moment but then said in a rush, "They said sometimes the other females comfort you and that you're cheerful for days afterwards. Does that mean, um, everything works?" She stifled what sounded suspiciously like a nervous giggle.
Kirin's ears burned. "I'm going to kill Takakura," he growled under his breath.
"I didn't say that Tak said it."
"You didn't have to – the other two have better sense."
"Well? Is it true?" Her words rang out over the water.
"My blade is still sharp, if that's what you mean." He was both amused and flattered that she wanted to know. "Does that make you blush?"
Ariana replied airily, "Please, I'm red already. How could you possibly tell?"
Kirin swam back around the boulder to eye her speculatively. She refused to meet his gaze and he smiled knowingly. "Oh, yes… you're blushing."
"I am not!"
"Denial is an admission of guilt."
"You are so full of it," she shot back with her chin lifted, daring him to make something of it.
Calling her bluff, Kirin stepped closer, coming within arm's reach. Her wing talons twitched nervously as she wrapped her wings around her more tightly but her eyes glowed faintly in anticipation. She drew her lower lip through her teeth slowly and sighed softly. Carefully, he put a hand up on the boulder just over her left shoulder. Water dripped from his arm onto her coral-tinted skin as Ariana tilted her face up to his. He longed to answer the invitation in her eyes.
The mood was set – but fate stepped in as an earthquake rumbled through the RokkoMountains. I scooped her up and took us airborne before the hot springs could boil us alive. To my surprise, Ariana trembled in terror as clung to me – a traumatic memories of an earthquake experience in her childhood made her vulnerable. That only made me want to protect and to cherish her more. Even after the ground stopped shaking and we had landed, I did not want to let her go and neither, it seemed, did she.
I knew that I should have kept my distance. I was the elder, the more responsible one but – to feel her arms holding me and to be cocooned in her wings! She was too innocent to know what an intimate gesture that was or how much it meant to have someone who knew the shame of my past and still wanted me. I had no doubts of that -- Ariana was the kind of female that knew what she wanted and went for it. She chose to be with me, as unworthy as I am, and who was I to refuse such a gift?
How can I possibly describe the sheer joy of feeling her talons raking down my back? Of feeling the goose bumps rise on her skin beneath my fingers? Or becoming drunk on the warm, rich scent of her hair? Just when I thought I would die a blissful death, Ariana sucked my barbels into her mouth. Most females consider them repulsive but if they only knew how sensitive my fish whiskers are – it was almost too much pleasure to bear. She could have persuaded me to do anything for her at that moment.
The village drums saved me from going too far. We rushed back to discover that Miza was trapped in the rookery and that the Ishigiri crew was causing the earthquakes with their equipment. Ariana tried to persuade the Tengu to come with her to confront the humans but Takamatsu and the elders were against it. We all heard him tell her that if she went to confront the humans, she would not be allowed back among us but Ariana went without fear or hesitation.
I knew then that our time together was at an end.
Flying back into the Rokko Mountains was a tricky affair. Police and television station helicopters were still hovering around the campground where Ariana had confronted the Ishikiri crew. Kirin supposed that Ichiro Sohma was still there, seeing to Xanatech's interests, but he no longer cared. He circled around, gliding in low on silent wings. The Tengu would have retreated to one of their more hidden encampments farther up into the mountains but Kirin wasn't sure that he wanted to join them quite yet. An approaching helicopter forced him to take shelter and he spiraled down to the hot springs.
As soon as he touched down, Kirin knew it had been a mistake. He could still smell their scents lingering in the bowl-shaped ravine. Another helicopter flew over, this one with a bright spotlight mounted beneath. Sighing bitterly, he took cover under the spreading trees and found himself wandering up to the changing hut. Her scent lingered there and as he ducked his head through the open doorway, he learned why.
The little red underpants Ariana had worn to bathe in were hanging there on a peg. Without thinking, he reached out and gingerly took them between index finger and thumb. The soft cotton fabric was still damp from the mineral-rich water but it still carried her scent.
Rough cedar walls hit him between the shoulder blades as Kirin's knees went out from under him. "I didn't want you to go," he said hoarsely as he crumbled the tiny garment in his fist. "I… I…" A raw, racking sob came out of nowhere and for once, he didn't hide his pain. The intensity of his emotions grew so deep that words became meaningless.
He had only thought that standing before the Ishimuran council and hearing Ikeike declare that he was no longer fit to be her mate had been agony. As he had watched Ariana's train vanish into the night, his talons had left grooves in the brickwork, anchoring himself in place to keep himself from following. He had been dying to hold her but he knew that if he had, he would have never let her go.
Kirin looked at the delicate garment in his hand and guilty memories overwhelmed him. When the tremors had started earlier that evening, he'd taken her into his arms out of reflex. Ariana had clung to him in terror but all that he could remember was the way that her wet body had molded into his. He smiled because the rich heady aroma that she had left behind told him that she had been aroused too.
Shifting to a more comfortable position against the wall of the hut, he began to fantasize what it might have been like to have laid her on the soft moss besides the pool and to have made love to her. She was young and adventurous; she might have even forced him onto his back – Kirin smiled breathlessly. He'd always loved an assertive partner and Ariana was a headstrong wench. She wouldn't have been silent like the Tengu females. He'd always hated the way that his lovers would mate with him and then afterwards act as though nothing had ever happened. Ari-chan would have cried out, shrieking her passion for all to hear and letting everyone know that he was loving her and loving her well.
Kirin stifled a raw sob and swallowed the roar of triumph he so desperately wanted to give voice to. He'd never wanted anything so much in his life that to have that fantasy made real, to be in her arms right then, breathless and spent. Instead, he was bitterly aware of being alone and of hating every moment.
"I am a coward and a fool," he said remorsefully. "Finally a chance at happiness but I was too fearful to seize it." He drew his hand into a fist, striking it against his thigh. "Damn you, Ikeike – do you see what you've done to me? I'm so afraid of losing at love that I'm not willing to even try! Well, no more! No more, do you hear me?"
Kirin remembered the way Ariana had reached out to him when he was at his lowest and the strength that she had unknowingly given him then. Opening his hand that she had held only hours before, he regarded it solemnly. "You gave me hope, Ari-chan," Kirin said softly. "How can I let that go without a fight?"
The approaching sunrise tingled in his blood. He turned his eyes to the eastern horizon and knew what he had to do.
The Tengu had moved their belongings to a sheltered encampment near one of their farm plots. There were many of these scattered throughout the mountains -- rice in the river bottoms, fruit orchards in secluded groves, grains and vegetables on high mountain meadows. Flying east from the abandoned village, Kirin found the clan a few miles further inland near Karasu's gardens. A bird-headed gargoyle like Takamatsu, Karasu was a stoic elder that preferred the Zen-like tranquility of his gardens to the bustle of village life. He had lost his mate in the Kobe earthquake of 1995 and since then only lived with the clan during the long winters.
When Kirin spiraled in, Karasu was bent over a garden row, harvesting greens with a short curved knife. He stood up, still slightly stooped, and nodded at the newcomer. "They're in there," Karasu said without preamble as he gestured towards a sprawling house twisting through an apricot grove. He accepted Kirin's bow with one of his own and returned to his work.
Kirin took no offense at the reclusive elder's behavior; he imagined that Karasu was simply overwhelmed by the sudden intrusion into his solitary life. By the sounds of the raised voices coming from within, this gathering of Tengu was not a sociable one.
"—and I say this," Takakura said hotly, "we disgraced ourselves by treating Lady Ariana in such a cowardly fashion! She risked her life to save our village and how did we repay her? By turning our backs and hiding in the shadows!"
Stopping just short of the open doorway, Kirin waited to hear the clan's response.
"Bah!" Doryo snorted derisively. "She was warned, more than once! She chose to spit on our customs, willful hatchling!"
"Ariana was not taught to hide in the dark when danger comes," Takakura snapped back. "Her clan lives side-by-side with humans, the way that Master Kirin's clan does in Ishimura," his voice rang out, "the way that our ancestors did in the days when the Tengu were warlords and advisors of kings!"
"Nonsense!"
Takakura refused to let Doryo get started on one of his tirades. "The humans have not forgotten us, did you know that? According to them, we are creatures of legend!" He crossed in front of the doorway as he worked the room. Kirin could see Takamatsu sitting cross-legged and watching his son intently. "When we were in Kobe, Ariana rushed to the aid of an old woman being robbed in her noodle shop. She took one look at us and was glad because the Tengu legend had been passed among her people. She thanked us," he pounded his chest with a hollow thump, "for saving her and it felt good to hear her do so."
"That is what it means to be a gargoyle," Kirin said quietly from the door as he leaned against the frame. "That is where Ariana found the strength to the right thing, even when it meant risking death or disapproval."
"Kirin-san!" O-tama called out, rising up slightly from her place next to Takamatsu. "We were worried when you didn't return before first light. Did you see Ari-chan safely to the train?"
"Yes." He turned his face away so no one could see how much that one word cost him. "There were too many people around when I returned. I spent the day elsewhere."
"And… Ari-chan? Did you explain why--?"
"I didn't have to," he answered curtly, cutting her off. "She said that she was sorry to have caused so much trouble."
There was a restless stirring in the room. Takamatsu cleared his throat. "At the time, I thought expelling Ariana was the right thing to do, but now…" He paused thoughtfully. "…now I am not so sure. Much of what Takakura says has merit."
"Leader, no!" Doryo protested. "You were right to uphold our code!"
"And it is my right to decide when our code is holding us back!" Takamatsu retorted. "Perhaps she made some of you uncomfortable, but Ariana was right. We cannot hide from the world. The time has come when we must find our place in it."
A low rumble of protests came from the elders but Kirin barely noticed. There was a road map unfolded in the middle of the floor. He wondered where Ariana was at that moment and if she was thinking of him. It wasn't until he heard Takamatsu call his name that he realized that he was being spoken to.
"Our young warriors have informed us of their intention to travel to Ishimura for the Grand Miai, Kirin-san," Takamatsu said, silencing Doryo with his eyes. "We would welcome your counsel."
"If they wish to go," Kirin said slowly, "then they are welcome to accompany me."
"Kirin-san?" O-tama rose and crossed the room to him. "Do you mean to leave us?"
Softly, so only she could hear, Kirin murmured, "I cannot live without my heart, O-tama, and it is no longer here."
"Perhaps it is a sign," O-tama said gently, "a sign that it's time for you to return to the world." She reached up and ran her knuckles over his brow ridges. "You have given so much of yourself to us, Kirin-san. We will miss you."
"It is a fool's errand." He shrugged. "She may not want me."
"Let her decide that."
To be continued in Part VII of "Ronin" …..