To Lose A Pirate
Disclaimer: we have already established that no characters featured in this story are mine and also that I make no money from this.
Thankies to all my wonderful reviewers! This is the last instalment of this fic.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
Chapter 3: Confrontation, Admissions and Revelations
The evening meal went far too quickly for Will. Yet again he struggled to eat much, though he tried his utmost as he was more than aware of Elizabeth's constant sharp gaze upon him. All too soon Ruthie came and cleared away the table. Governor Swann had insisted on the young couple having two servants – Mary the cook and Ruthie the maid. The Governor had wanted more, but Will had refused it.
Elizabeth rose and took Will by his rough hand. He stiffened, his meal threatening to reappear. This was it; she had realised that she had made a grave mistake in marrying him and desired to end their marriage for a man of a higher station than the lowly blacksmith that he was. Or else she could bear his melancholy no longer and felt that the only place for him was an asylum. Other similarly dreadful scenarios raced through his mind, and the serious expression on Elizabeth's face did nothing to quell these fears.
She led him to their bedroom and shut the door, ensuring Ruthie and Mary had tasks enough to occupy them for the time that she needed alone with Will. She leaned against her chest-of-drawers, wringing her hands, knowing not where to begin. Will regarded her anxiously from where he stood in the middle of the room, his eyes on the floor, unable to meet his wife's eyes.
Elizabeth took a deep breath. "It has been a full year since Jack's death, Will."
Will's head snapped up, his face clearly showing that he had not expected this.
"Yet your mood would imply that it has been but a few days since it happened."
A small nod was the only outward response she provoked from Will. Inside, he was battling the tears of pain that threatened to overwhelm him. His heart had twisted with agony when Elizabeth had spoken Jack's name as the memories of the hanging came back to haunt him.
Elizabeth stepped up to him and gently lifted his chin with her fingers, though he would not meet her eyes with his, which glistened with unshed tears. "Will, do you think me reasonably intelligent?"
Will automatically raised his eyes to regard her in confusion. "Why did you change the subject?"
"Answer the question, Will," pleaded Elizabeth, her eyes searching his face, down which the first tears were beginning to slowly slip.
Will nodded. "I know you to be very much so."
"I know you too well, Will Turner – better than you do yourself." She took a deep breath. This was the moment she had been preparing herself for. "I know what happened while I was in England. When Jack came back to Port Royal, when you went off on the Pearl with him."
Will's eyes widened. "Elizabeth, I –"
She cut him off by putting her finger gently to his lips. "Shhh, Will. Don't panic. It matters not. I saw you and Jack at the fort, the day before he died. When he was in the cell. I saw the way you were with each other."
Will's head dropped and he turned away, face burning with shame. "I – I'm sorry, Elizabeth. I – I should not have allowed such things to happen. I understand if you wish to end our marriage."
"What? Will, why on earth would I wish such a thing?"
"Because what I did was wrong! Wrong and unforgivable in the eyes of society and God!" He swallowed hard in a futile attempt to suppress the hot tears of shame that welled up inside. Why had he done it? Why had he not stopped himself in time? Why had he not thought about it before acting on his emotions and impulses?
He jumped when Elizabeth placed her hand on his shoulder and moved round so she was facing him. He could not bear to look at her; she must surely hate him.
"Will Turner, look at me," Elizabeth commanded softly. "Look at me."
He did so, uncertain and fearful of what he would see. He was unprepared for the love, understanding and kindness he saw there. "Do you hate me, Elizabeth?"
"Oh Will!" She reached up with her handkerchief and gently, lovingly wiped away the tearstains on his face. "I could never hate you. Sometimes I get irritated with you, but that is natural and normal, and nothing to worry about. You are the man I love – always have done and always will."
"But what happened with Jack –"
"Do you honestly believe that that would make me love you any less?"
Will shrugged uncomfortably. "It should. You should hate me."
Elizabeth huffed in irritation. "Just because something should, it does not necessarily mean that it will."
Silence fell as each contemplated their next words. Will broke it. "What – what did you see in the cells?"
Elizabeth once again lifted his head so that his dark eyes met hers. "I saw your feelings for Jack. And his for you. I saw what you did."
Will's fingers involuntarily flew to his lips, his eyes wide in panic and fear. " Elizabeth! I – I – I'm sorry –"
"Shhhh. You needn't apologise for something you could not help." She gently lowered his fingers, encasing them in her own.
Will forced himself to look into his wife's eyes, expecting to see loathing, disgust, betrayal, revulsion, accusation and other such sentiments. Instead he found nothing but love, acceptance and concern. "But it's wrong… You and I both know it is."
"This is Captain Jack Sparrow of whom we speak, is it not?"
"It is…" Will was confused.
"He was hardly the most conventional of men."
"A little mildly put." Will gave Elizabeth a small, rueful smile.
"Just a little." She smiled back at him, lightly squeezing the hand of his that she held.
Will swallowed. "How – how long have you…?"
"I suspected a long time ago."
"And yet you said nothing!"
Elizabeth shook her head. "It was not important. Will, I know you loved him."
"As a sailor would love his captain –"
"As a man would love his wife," she gently interrupted.
"I would never –"
"William Turner, you loved Jack Sparrow as a man would love his wife. I know you did. And still do. And that it was reciprocated. I can see it in your eyes; denying it will only cause you more pain than you already feel!" cut in Elizabeth fiercely.
"I can't have done, Elizabeth; it's unnatural! Wrong!"
"Will, please." Her face softened. "I don't care."
"I love you, Elizabeth!"
"I know you do. You loved Jack, and you love me. I know through a letter from Anamaria that you and Jack were close while I was in England – extremely close – and she all but told me the details. What she did not write of directly, I guessed. Would you still deny it?"
Will slowly shook his head. "No. I – I can't. I would be lying if I did. But surely you should be condemning me to an asylum by now!"
Elizabeth shook her head. "I would never do such a thing! Will, I accept that you loved Jack. I accept whatever happened between you. If I did not I would have cut all ties with you for ever."
"Why?" Will was completely bewildered.
"Because I love you. I always have. I always will." She stepped forward and gathered him into her arms. This was too much for Will and he broke down in her firm, comforting embrace, finally allowing himself to release the pain, the guilt, the shame and above all the grief that he had bottled up inside himself for a year. His body shook with violent, desperate, heart-wrenching sobs, prompting Elizabeth to begin crying also as she held him, gently rocked him, comforted him. She held him tightly, soothing him, and eventually lowering him to the bed when he was on the verge of exhaustion-induced sleep, removing his shoes before drawing the covers over him and wiping away his tears. Then she got in beside him, kissing him goodnight and drawing his now-sleeping form into a fiercely protective hold. A huge weight of anxiety for Will had been lifted from her shoulders. In her heart she knew he would now be able to start coming to terms with Jack's death and also with his own feelings towards the pirate captain. For that she was deeply thankful.
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤ ¤
end