I Dream of the Past
Author's Note: Ey up Chuck!
I dream of the past.
At least I use to. However, things change and so, too, does my subconscious. As I say, I use to dream of the past. The way things were. I dream about how I could have changed certain things to affect the overall result that has become being 31. Sometimes my dreams awake me in full cliché movie style. Tears, sweat and the need to smoke a spliff. Then, there are others where I feel safe. The ones that aren't from the past. I can't pin point the exact time and place, but I know it should concern me. A voice floats around me like some sort of linguistic serpent. The voice holds me and I can't breath, but I'm not scared. I'm floating in space. Something about a green ship. David Lister saw me off. He tried to kill me? Kerry Shayne is a big dyke. Why? Men surround me. All of them look like me. Some with long blonde hair and wearing flight suits. Some have curly pubic hair on their heads and wear technician uniforms with snivelling grins. The voice tells me that I've finished, but if I wanted to, I could have another go. Try and again. Go for the really high score.
'You're the only one.' It says, 'You are the only one who can do this Judas. You have a destiny. You'll live forever. You deserve too.'
All I've got to do is let go. Let my life ebb away and then I'm free. I can feel safe all the time. I'll be scared of no one. No one will control me.
Judas will be constant.
I resolve to stop smoking pot before I go to bed.