Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
Chapter 5
After the frightening escape from the library, Draco walked back to the dungeons in disbelief. He had just spent an excruciatingly long time with the Gryffindors (ok, so it was only 15 minutes, but Draco's a drama queen who likes to exaggerate) without maiming anyone. Even more than that shock, they had all gotten along! In Draco's mind though, the best part was spending time with the youngest Weasley. Ginny. Even thinking about her made him smile.
"Ahh, Ginny," he said, smiling like an idiot.
Anyways, Draco was on cloud nine just thinking about her. Absently, he pulled the Knut out of his pocket, rubbing it like a worry stone. The feel of cold, hard metal against his warm, soft hand helped to soothe him, and also helped him think when he felt overwhelmed. He was in a tizzy over Ginny. He was infatuated with her, but there were so many things in the way: his father (But she's a pureblood! Draco thought), her brother (he'd slaughter me in my sleep), the very fact that up until a few weeks ago, they loathed each other with the utmost passion… the list went on and on. However, Draco's reasoning had been brutally slaughtered by his overwhelming passion for Ginny, so he only thought of how to show her he cared about her. He ran his thumb constantly over the surface of the knut, thinking hard. There had to be something he could do… there was always something he could do! But what was it?
"Aha!" he finally stated. "I'll make her something really special…"
After the incident in the library, in which everyone was extremely way too loud, Hermione returned to the Gryffindor common room, hoping to finish some work. She pulled out her Muggle Studies assignment and looked at it. Choose a recent muggle innovation and explain its importance to muggles. Hermione thought hard about this topic. First, she contemplated the phrase 'recent'. But that was only because Hermione had a thing for overanalyzing everything. After minutes of hard thinking, she finally discovered the answer- the internet! It was fairly recent, and it was very important to muggles- most of them couldn't live without it! Hermione picked up her quill and began to write just as Colin walked into the common room.
"Oh, hey Hermione," he said, waving and walking over to her. "What are you working on?"
"Just a Muggle Studies assignment," she replied. "Choose a muggle innovation and explain its importance."
"You're taking Muggle Studies? Why?"
She gave Colin a look. "I just think it's fascinating to see how wizards view muggles."
"I see," he said. "So, what did you choose for your paper?"
"The internet!" Hermione exclaimed.
The internet is really, really great.
For porn!
"What?" Hermione exclaimed. She cleared her throat and continued.
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait.
For porn!
There's always some new site.
For porn!
I browse all day and night.
For porn!
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light.
For porn!
"Colin!" Hermione shouted in shock.
The internet is for porn! The internet is for porn!
Why do you think the net was born?
Porn! Porn! Porn!
"Colin!" Hermione exclaimed.
"What?" he asked with a sheepish smile on his face.
"You're interrupting my essay! Do you mind being quiet for a minute so I can finish?"
"Okie dokie!"
I'm glad we have this new technology.
For porn! Oops
Which gives us untold opportunity.
For porn! Whoops, sorry!
Right from your own desktop…
For p---
You can research, browse, and shop…
Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop!
For porn!
"Colin!" Hermione shouted.
The internet is for porn!
The internet is for porn!
Me up all night honking
Me horn to porn, porn, porn!
"Colin! That's gross! You're a pervert!"
"Aww, sticks and stones, Hermione," he said innocently.
"No, really," she declared. "Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet!"
"Oh, really?" Colin stood up on his chair, looking around the room. "Hey Dean, Harry, come here!"
"What's up?" Dean asked as he walked over with Harry right behind him.
"You're muggle born, right? Well, Miss Smarty Pants Hermione over here doesn't believe me when I say that the internet is for porn!" Colin, Harry, and Dean looked at each other and then at Hermione, and finally burst out laughing.
"Ready?" Colin asked.
"Ready!" shouted Dean and Harry.
The internet is for porn.
The internet is for porn.
All these guys unzip their flies for…
Porn! Porn! Porn!
"Now wait just one minute!" Hermione yelled. "Now, I know that you do other things online. Dean, you told me that you ordered a nice sweater for your mum online. And Colin, I'm sure that you look up new photographic techniques on the internet. Harry, you even sent me a nice online birthday card!"
"True, true," Harry said.
"But Hermione, what do you think they did after?" Colin asked. Harry and Dean suddenly looked down at their feet, accompanied by a sheepish "yeah".
"Eww! Gross!" Hermione cried.
The internet is for porn.
The internet is for porn.
Grab your dick and double click
for porn! Porn! Porn!
The internet is for porn!
Hermione shuddered. "I hate men."
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Sorry for such a long delay, I've been extremely busy with school. Hopefully I'll get another chapter out while I'm on break, but if not it may be a while before I get a new chapter posted.