Category: Angst, Adventure, AU, Slave/Master

Pairings: 1x2, 4x3 (eventually), 5x?

Rating: R (?)

Disclaimer: Standard. You know them all by now so I won't bore you with a repeat.

Warnings: This story does show how a lot of people felt about the owning of slaves, a feeling that was very alive in this country not that long ago, as well as in many civilizations down through the ages. There are some good owners and some bad owners, like in everything. If someone owning another person bothers you, you might not like this fic. But then I'm not forcing anyone to read it. There are also M/M relationships in this fic (I'm very much a 1x2/3x4 fan.) so if boys being together (and I do mean together) bothers you don't read.

Golden Lights Part Seventeen 

By SilverLady

Quatre sat on the bank of the small pond they had found near the campsite, watching the others as they played in the water. Though they had tried to coax him into joining them, he had remained firmly planted on the bank. Duo had even offered to teach him how to swim, but he had refused the offer. He wasn't about to admit to anyone exactly why he couldn't swim.

The past few days had been interesting, as the five young men had learned, not only about the others, but about themselves as well. Though Quatre had introduced many new things to the others, they had gamely tried each and every one. Even if there had been some grumbled comments and odd looks.

Quatre sighed. In two days they would reach Termal and Trowa would make his decision on whether or not they would continue the trip as they were going now or call for the servants to join them. Although the trip had brought back painful memories that Quatre would rather forget, he was still enjoying himself. He could pretend, at least for a little while, that he wasn't another man's property.

"Hey, Quatre," Duo shouted as he swam up to the shore. "You look awfully hot sitting there. Are you sure you wouldn't like to come in and get cooled off?"

"I'm fine right where I am," Quatre replied. "In fact, I was getting ready to head back to the campsite. I should probably get supper started."

Duo pouted a little. "You are supposed to relax, too. You don't have to do all the work, you know."

Quatre smiled. Duo certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. He was constantly looking at things, asking questions to the point where Heero would growl at him to be quiet. It was obvious to Quatre that much of what they saw and did was new to the braided boy. He felt sad that such a lively and energetic boy had never really been allowed to live the kind of life he deserved. Though he knew Heero was working hard at correcting that fact. He just hoped that Duo wasn't just a new toy for Heero to play with, to be discarded when something new came along. That would kill him, Quatre knew that for certain.

"Do you know how to cook?"

"No."

"Do you think Heero, Trowa or Wufei can cook?"

Duo frowned, knowing exactly where this was headed. "No."

"Then I guess that leaves me, doesn't it."

"It's still not right."

Quatre rose to his feet. "I'll call you when it's ready."

"All right." Duo turned and looked around for Heero. A mischievous look crossed his face when he spotted Heero on the other side of the pond, his back to him. Without a sound, Duo slipped through the water, intent on catching Heero by surprise.

As Quatre turned to leave, he heard Heero, whose growled words carried across the water. "Duo. Even think about dunking me and I'll make you regret it."

Quatre giggled softly when he heard Duo's reply. "Ah, Heero. You're no fun."

*****

Duo was floating lazily on his back, staring up at the sky through the covering of leaves, when he heard the sounds of someone coming towards the pond. The others had already left the water and wandered off in different directions to explore. One of them was probably coming to tell him it was time to get out.

Duo sighed. He enjoyed the water and it was nice to be able to swim when he wanted to. There were times when he really was torn between swimming and eating. Now was one of those times.

"Duo!" Quatre's voice carried across the water. "It's…."

A sudden cry and the sound of a body hitting the water alerted Duo that something had happened to Quatre. Flipping over, he looked towards the bank. It only took him a moment to spot Quatre, who must have slipped on the slick bank and fallen into the pond. Without a moment's hesitation, Duo was swimming towards the distraught boy.

It only took him a minute to reach Quatre. Reaching out, he tried to grasp the boy, but Quatre was thrashing about too much for him to accomplish it.

"Quatre, calm down. I'm here. I'll help. You have to relax. It's all right."

Quatre seemed to be oblivious as he struggled. Finally Duo managed to get a grip on the boy, but that did nothing to calm him down. "Nooo!!!" Quatre howled, the cry ending in a choking cough as he swallowed a large amount of water.

Duo struggled to keep both his and Quatre's heads above water. He knew that if he didn't get Quatre calmed down and out of the water soon, they were both going to wind up drowning. "Quatre," he snapped, trying to make the boy listen. "You've got to stop struggling so much. You're only making it worse."

"No!" Quatre cried, struggling with memories that wouldn't let him hear what Duo was saying. "Please, no!"

Just when Duo felt his grip on the boy begin to slip, there was a loud splash behind him. Suddenly Heero was beside him, helping him to keep Quatre from slipping beneath the water's surface.

But even Heero's strong, sure grip did nothing to ease Quatre's panic. He continued to struggle, against the water and the two trying to help.

Duo could not believe how panic stricken Quatre had become. His inexperience in the water still shouldn't have caused him to react so badly to falling in. There was obviously more to Quatre's inability to swim then he had let on.

Heero grunted as a flailing foot landed dangerously near a part of his anatomy he'd rather not have injured. It was becoming apparent that Quatre was not going to respond to Duo's voice. It was time for more drastic actions. Shifting his grip, Heero pressed two fingers into the nape of Quatre's neck.

Duo was a little surprised when Quatre suddenly quit struggling. "What?"

"You head back to shore," Heero told him calmly. "I'll follow with him. You can pull him out."

Duo managed to nodded before striking out for shore. Though Quatre had fallen in close to shore, his struggles had dragged them nearly to the middle of the pond. Suddenly, it seemed like a long way back.

Five minutes later they had Quatre on shore. By that time Wufei and Trowa had arrived, Trowa bringing along several blankets.

Trowa had just started to wrap Quatre up in one of the blankets when the boy suddenly shot straight up. "Noooo!" he cried, struggling against the enveloping blanket.

"Quatre!" Trowa called, trying to get through to the still panic stricken blonde. "It's all right. You're safe. Duo and Heero got you out of the water."

Quatre gasped, bending over as a hard racking cough shook his slight frame. Trowa held him until the spasm passed, making note of the tears that were streaming down Quatre's face.

Slowly Quatre sank to his knees, struggling to regain his breath and to force back the memories. He moaned and buried his face in his hands as his body began to tremble uncontrollably.

Trowa felt the tremors that shook Quatre's body and wrapped the blanket more tightly around the small blonde. "It's all right," he spoke in a soft voice, trying to sooth the frightened boy. "You're safe now."

Although Quatre's body continued to tremble violently, Trowa could tell that the boy was begin to relax.

Trowa damn near jumped out of his skin when a cold, wet hand was laid on his shoulder. He looked up to find Heero watching him. "If you'll help Duo, I'll carry him back to camp. We need to get him into some warm, dry clothes."

"You as well," Trowa commented, noting Heero's decidedly damp look.

Heero shrugged. "You don't stop to strip when there's trouble."

"Thank god for small favors," Wufei mumbled under his breath.

Heero glared at the other boy, but didn't reply.

Trowa shook his head at the exchange. With a sigh of reluctance, he relinquished Quatre to Heero. He knew there was no way he was going to be able to carry the blonde boy back to camp, even as light as he was. His leg simply wouldn't let him.

Duo managed a weak smile as Trowa and Wufei helped him to stand. Although he really didn't want to admit it, his knees felt as if they'd been turned to water. If it wasn't for the two others he figured he'd probably wind up kissing the ground.

"Trowa," he said softly as they headed back to camp.

Trowa looked at Duo. "Yes?"

"I think you need to get him to talk. There was a lot more to his reaction than could be explained by him not being able to swim. He was really scared."

Trowa nodded. He agreed with Duo's assessment. He would talk to the other boy and find out just exactly what the problem was.

*****

Quatre sighed and curled up into a tighter ball. He could sense that someone was near and he really didn't want to deal with anyone just yet. He had to get himself back under control first.

"Quatre?" Trowa's voice was soft, barely above a whisper.

If I lay really still, maybe he'll think I'm still asleep and leave.

Luck, however, wasn't on his side. "Quatre, I know you're awake. Please open your eyes and look at me."

Trowa had to fight back a smile as a scared blue eye peeked out from the blankets Quatre was curled up in. "I wanted to be sure you were all right."

"I'm fine now. You didn't need to trouble yourself." Quatre's voice was muffled and distant, from more than just the blanket.

"Sometimes talking helps."

Quatre blinked. "Talking?"

"About why you were so scared."

"I fell in the water. I don't know how to swim and I fell in. I thought I was going to die."

"Quatre, why don't you know how to swim?"

Quatre was quiet for a minute. "I grew up in the desert. There's not much water and so not much need to know…."

"There's more to it than that," Trowa interrupted. Quatre's reason was perfectly plausible and yet… Trowa knew it wasn't the whole truth. "Even I know there are oasises in the desert with water. And you did say that you spent some time in the hills. Don't tell me you never came across water deep enough to swim in."

Quatre sighed and turned his head away. Something told him that Trowa would persist in this. "It's nothing."

"Please, tell me.

Quatre closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to bring the memories to the front of his mind. He had fought with them for so long. "It's nothing really. Just something that happened a long time ago."

Trowa heard the pain in Quatre's voice. It was pretty apparent that it was something. Something that Quatre had never discussed with anyone. "You're afraid of the water and you never said anything to anyone. You'll never get past it if you don't talk about it."

Quatre rolled over and glared angrily at Trowa. "What do you care about how I feel?! I'm just your slave, nothing else."

Trowa reared back at the outburst. Although he sort of expected it, a part of him was hurt by the angry words. "Believe me or not, I do care. I want to help you."

"Then go away and leave me alone. I don't like the water. Big deal. There are lots of people who don't know how to swim and don't care to learn. Why are you making such a big deal about it?"

"Because there is another reason for your fear and it's eating away at you."

Quatre pulled himself into a sitting position and wrapped his arms around his knees. Burying his face in the hollow between his body and his legs, he struggled to hold back the tears that had welled up in his eyes. "It was my fault," he choked out brokenly.

"What was?" Trowa asked gently.

"My mother. It was my fault she died." Quatre looked up at Trowa, his eyes full of an old, haunting pain. "I lied. I do know how to swim. My mother taught me when I was little. She always loved the water and would go swimming any chance she got. My dad always teased her about it, asking if she wasn't a misplaced fish or something. She took me with her all the time, so I learned very early how to swim. I don't remember if I learned to walk, ride or swim first. I just always seemed to have done them." Quatre closed his eyes as the bittersweet feelings washed over him. He had been so hurt by the bad memory that he'd blocked out all the good ones.

Trowa reached out and laid a gentle hand on Quatre's shoulder, silently urging him to continue.

A shudder ran through Quatre's slight form. "One day we came across this small river. It was pretty swollen from the rains that had fallen higher in the mountains, but to a six year old they didn't seem that bad. I wanted to swim in it. It had been several weeks since we'd come across enough water to enjoy. My mother told me no, that it was too dangerous for a little boy. I didn't believe her though and when I thought everyone was asleep I went back.

"She must have heard me or known what I was going to do. I had barely gotten in the water when I realized that she had been right. The current was much stronger than I thought. She didn't hesitate to jump in and save me. She had just gotten me up on a rock near the shore when the current dragged her away. I just watched as she disappeared under the water. I was so numb I couldn't even cry.

"After a while I got back on shore and ran back to the camp. By that time my father had discovered that Mother was missing and had gotten a group of men to go look for her. He knew how much she loved the water and figured she had decided to go for a swim after I was asleep, so that I wouldn't beg to go with her." Quatre choked back a sob as he remembered the horrible night and the following morning.

"They found her body a little ways down stream." Quatre rocked his body as the sobs welled up in his throat. "She wasn't strong enough to fight the current. It was my fault and I never told anyone. They never knew that she had died saving me. I couldn't face my father with that information." Quatre broke down then, sobbing with a thousand tears he'd never shed.

Trowa gathered the sobbing boy into his arms. What a horrible burden for a small child to carry. "Shhh, little one."

"Don't tell me it will be all right," Quatre choked out. "It will never be all right. I killed my mother. I could never go near the water again. I went from loving to swim to hating it. I can't stand to be in water any deeper than my knees anymore. No one knew why I suddenly stopped going to the water. They though it was the trauma of losing my mother it such a manner. They would have hated me if they had known the real reason."

Trowa said nothing, just continued to hold the blonde until he finally cried himself to sleep.

Oh, little one. I wish there was something I could do to help. You're right though. The guilt never goes away, no matter what logic tells you.

*****

Trowa wasn't certain how long he held the sleeping boy before Heero came in to check on them.

"Is everything all right?" Heero asked softly.

Trowa looked up at him. "I don't know. I did find out why he won't go near the water, but I doubt if there is really anything we can do to make it better."

Heero nodded slightly. He knew Trowa would tell the others if he felt it was necessary.

Trowa sighed, grateful for Heero's silence. "How is Duo?"

"He's fine. He swallowed a bit more water than he would have liked, but I don't think it's anything to worry about. I'll keep a watch him tonight though, just to make sure."

Trowa nodded. "I think it might be a good idea to just stay here tomorrow and give them both time to recover. We're not on any real schedule."

"Sound good to me." He was silent for a minute. "Do you want anything to eat or drink? I've got some water heating."

Trowa arched an eyebrow at that bit of information.

Heero glared back. "It's not that hard. Especially since he already had the fire going."

"I think some hot tea would be a good idea. If you think between the three of you, you can handle it."

Heero snorted. "I think we can manage. Somehow." With that he turned and headed outside.

Trowa smiled faintly. There were times when Heero still managed to surprise him.

*****

Duo looked up from his place in front of the fire when Heero approached. "Is he okay?"

"He was sleeping. Trowa says he should be fine."

"Physically."

Heero nodded. "Trowa wants us to attempt to make some tea."

Duo eyed the fire. "We might be able to manage that. We did manage to heat the water without too much problem."

Wufei, who had just walked up, snorted his opinion of the statement. "It's a damn good thing we didn't put the stupid fire out."

Duo sighed. "Yeah."

Heero shook his head. It was a bit disconcerting to realize just how out of his element he was out here. "We're going to stay here tomorrow instead of moving on. It will give Quatre a chance to get himself sorted out."

Duo nodded. He thought that sounded like a good idea. His chest still ached from the coughing spasm that had hit him earlier.

Wufei groaned but didn't argue, not that it would have done him any good.

Heero smirked as he headed for the pack that he hoped had the tea in it. Things were definitely beginning to become interesting around here.