Trials of Trust

Part 2

We'll go to a place
Where no one will find us
Just you and I
I'm yours
I'll always be with you

His hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard they hurt. Tezuka focuses on this pain, trains his eyes on the road ahead of him, telling himself to just get home safely. He wants to see Fuji. Although he knows Fuji won't be home yet - the younger man has a match today and will need to go to the dinner afterwards as per routine - he knows Fuji will try to get home as soon as he can.

Finally parking his car in the underground carpark, Tezuka suddenly feels too drained of energy to move. Closing his eyes, he slumps into the leather seat, his mind still trying to process what he has learned today. For a moment he contemplates hiding it from Fuji, then dismisses the idea with a scowl. Fuji will find out sooner or later, Tezuka doesn't want to hide anything from him. It will only make both of them feel upset and guilty when the truth comes out.

Fuji had wanted to go with him, suggesting if Tezuka changes the appointment to tomorrow, then they can go together. Somehow, although wishing so much Fuji is here with him right now, Tezuka is glad he went alone. He knows his lover, he knows the best way to break the news to him. If there is a best way at all.

Without a sound, Tezuka leaves the car and takes the elevator to his flat.

In the end, when Fuji comes home, Tezuka just lets the man sit at the edge of the bed and read his medical report, because every sentence he has planned to say just refuses to leave his lips.

Fuji reads the report twice, taking an unusually long time, then he drops it onto the bed, and looks up at Tezuka, who stands leaning against the wardrobe. Blue eyes crinkle as the smaller man smiles and walks towards his lover, feet landing softly on carpeted floor as he does so. Compared to junior high school times, Tezuka is only slightly taller than he is now, and he tilts his face up to look into the man's dark brown eyes.

"Interesting." He says, the smile becoming brighter as he feels the need to hide the storm that is blowing inside of him. He needs to be strong.

Tezuka slowly breathes out. "Yes."

"You won't die on me right away will you?"

"No. Not for at least another few years I think." Tezuka watches the corners of Fuji's lip quiver, watches the smile crumble. Biting his lips, he takes Fuji into his arms, crushing the smaller body to his own.

The moment they contact, Fuji starts to tremble. He wants to say something but he cannot trust his own voice. He leans his weight into Tezuka, and wonders how the man can be still be so composed. He is supposed to be strong for Tezuka now, not the other way around. But this is Tezuka. Tezuka has always been the one to support everything, because he has such strength and control. Tezuka is the pillar. He is the centre of Fuji's world.

One of Tezuka's hand rests on Fuji's head, fingers threading through locks of light brown hair. "I'm sorry, Fuji."

"Why the hell are you saying sorry!" The other man asks, despite knowing why. He knows the way Tezuka's mind works. "It's just a stupid bloody tumour, it's not like it's going to kill you!" He yells into Tezuka's shirt.

Somehow, hearing that, Tezuka finds the strength to smile. He nods, loosening his hold, trying to ease the tension a little.

Very soon, Fuji pushes himself off Tezuka, standing on his own again. Brilliantly blue eyes meet ordinary brown ones, seeing the fire that burns underneath the facade, and he smiles, this time geniunely. If Tezuka isn't afraid, there is no reason for him to be, either. There are always ways to fight back, and Tezuka is natural fighter, a survivor. They are going to declare battle now.

Tezuka breaks the silence. "You've had dinner already?"

Fuji nods. "But I excused myself before dessert and rushed back."

"Ah." Tezuka takes a moment to consider this. Then he smirks, playfully, just a little. "Would you like your dessert now?"

Hearing the tone, Fuji raises an eyebrow. The smirk registers, and he answers with one of his own. "Of course, if you're offering."

When Fuji pushes - or rather, shoves - Tezuka onto the bed, the taller man cannot help but chuckle.

His clock is ticking now. The tumour is practically stuck to the artery in his brain, with little to no chance of a successful removal, but it may be a long, long time before it starts to affect him. Dying doesn't seem to be as daunting a thing as some people make it. Death comes in so many ways, he just has one more than most people, that's all. At least Fuji will be here with him.

Tezuka isn't afraid of death. He is only afraid of leaving Fuji behind.

But as keen lips seek his for a heated kiss, Tezuka lets the thought fade away. The future is important, but so is here-and-now.

---

Tezuka's tumour is actually an abnormal growth on his artery which has been there all his life, but has escaped medical attention until it has grown to a significant size. He has to go for checkups monthly, and report any signs of ill health, but apart from that, nothing is being done about it. There is chance that the lump will stop growing and never affect him. Operation or any forms of therapy may just aggravate the situation, so until there are signs of deteriorating health, they will just keep their eyes open.

Fuji looks at the doctors and the only thing he thinks of is sitting ducks, although he never says it out loud.

And life goes on, because it does. Fuji tries not to overreact every time he sees that small furrow between Tezuka's brows that mean the man is having a headache, and fights the urge to ask him to take a break whenever he sees Tezuka feeling stressed after work, knowing Tezuka doesn't want to be fussed over.

Sitting up in bed, Fuji picks up the magazine on the nightstand, a thick men's magazine with fashion, cars, women, sports and boys' toys, for some distraction. He has planned to grow old with Tezuka, he just can't keep on thinking and panicking like that. A while later, he hears the shower being turned off, and Tezuka emerges from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, towelling wet hair. Fuji sets the magazine aside and throws the blanket back, gesturing for the other man to go to bed, which Tezuka ignores.

Tezuka sets the hairdryer to low, and nods towards the magazine Fuji has been reading. "We want to expand the sports section, to have interviews as well as the usual coverage."

Fuji cocks his head to a side and listens with interest. Hardly ever does Tezuka talk about his work, although Fuji tries to read all three of the magazines Tezuka's company publishes, one monthly and two bi-weekly's.

"Can I ask you for the first interview?"

"Me?" Blue eyes open wide in surprise. Fuji chuckles. "I'm not famous."

"You will be."

"So, you want to say 'we got Fuji Syusuke's first interview' when I become famous or something?" Fuji smiles sweetly as Tezuka frowns at his joke. He knows for a new section in the relatively young magazine, it will be difficult to get famous sportsmen to do the first few interviews, and that is one of the reasons Tezuka is asking him. But he understands the look in Tezuka's eyes, and knows there is another reason.

Would anyone, even close friends like Ooishi and Kikumaru, believe Fuji if he tells them Tezuka is an incredible, romantic sweetheart?

"I'd love to have the first interview, Tezuka."

Tezuka doesn't return Fuji's smile, only turns away, concentrating on drying his hair again. But when Fuji moves over to wrap arms around his midriff, he leans back into the warm embrace, and he smiles, just a little.

---

"Mind if I sit down?"

Before Tezuka looks up from the newspaper, someone has already pulled out the chair opposite him. Atobe crosses legs in front of him, leaning forward slightly on the small table. When a waiter comes to them, he orders a coffee.

Tezuka gives a curt nod.

"I read the article." Atobe says, his voice smooth, with a hint of a smile. "Quite well done."

"Which one are you referring to?" The other man folds his newspaper slowly and puts it away, before brown eyes meet Atobe's grey ones. "I don't write the articles, but I'll pass your comments on."

"I've stuck the page on my wall."

Atobe smiles wider when he sees Tezuka's eyes widen, betraying the other man's calm facade. Objective achieved, he stands up, straightening his designer suit as he does so, and goes to sit at another table, gesturing for the waiter to take his cup of coffee over there instead.

Tezuka pays the bill and leaves the cafe.

---

Fuji blinks when he feels the mattress sinking just a little, and the blankets being lifted, a warm body slipping into bed next to him. Stretching his lithe body, he turns around on the bed, smiling when Tezuka studies his face, aided by moonlight filtering through the beige curtains.

"It's going well." Tezuka answers the unvoiced question, settling comfortably into bed, closing his eyes when Fuji puts an arm around him. "Kimura-san is a great help. Everything is ready..."

The rest of his words are swallowed when Fuji crawls over a bit more and kisses him sleepily, sprawling himself over the larger man as he does so. Fuji smiles when he pulls away.

"That's good, because I don't sleep well on my own." He chuckles when arms wind around him. The company will be listed on the market tomorrow. Tezuka has been working hard the last few weeks to make sure everything will run smoothly, and Fuji understands the need of the late nights. "You need to make it up to me later."

Tezuka doesn't reply directly. He tugs the blanket around them better. "... I've been thinking about going on a vacation."

Fuji pushes himself off Tezuka's chest, blue eyes opening in surprise. Did Tezuka, the man who only pushes and never stops, just say the word "vacation"? In his memory, Fuji has never heard Tezuka say this word, ever since they first met when they were only twelve.

Without needing to ask, Fuji can easily guess it is because of the tumour. They don't know how much more time Tezuka has, the doctors said at least several years, hopefully, if Tezuka treats himself well, but nobody can be sure.

"In a month or so, when I'm sure everything is steady. Kimura-san can handle the company." Tezuka continues to murmur, "But only if you want to go too, and can get some time off."

Fuji just snickers as his reply. Time off will not be a problem; he always has a way to make his manager let him do what he wants. "Where are we going to?"

He can hear the slight smile in Tezuka's tired voice. He is on the edge of falling asleep. "Where do you want to go?"

Fuji doesn't even stop to think. "Switzerland."

"Hm."

"I want to see the Matterhorn."

The only reply Fuji receives is a slight squeeze on his arm as Tezuka loses the fight against his need to sleep. Resting his head on the man's shoulder, Fuji doesn't need to look up to know Tezuka has fallen asleep smiling, because he knows Matterhorn is where Tezuka wants to go.

--

As a small publishing company, the market's response to its listing is fairly good. Tezuka was against going to the market to start with, but Kimura-san was right, their limited profit margin will never allow them to expand the company the way they want; they need to raise capital. Although it feels like he is putting his father's life's work up for grabs, and this makes him anxious, the fact him and Kimura-san are holding 51 of the shares between them is reassuring.

"Must I kick you every night to make you go home, Kunimitsu?"

Tezuka looks up from his computer screen to nod at Kimura, who stands at the doorway of his office, shaking his head. "I'm just wrapping things up."

At that, Kimura chuckles, walking into the office and taking a seat opposite Tezuka. The chair complains a little when the plump body squeezes itself into it. "I swear, you're just like Kuniharu. Both workaholics."

Tezuka smiles, just a little, at the mention of his father's name. "I only hope I'm anywhere as good as my father."

Kimura lifts an arm and pretends to reach over to hit Tezuka on the head. "I watched you grow up, kid. I know how good you are. And I've promised Kuniharu to look after you."

Tezuka just looks at Kimura, and doesn't say a word. Kimura was his father's best friend and work partner, and has been a part of Tezuka's life for as long as he can remember. Kimura had literally watched him grow up. There is white in the man's hair now, and he has inescapably gained much weight since hitting middle-age, but in the past the same man had went on numerous mountain climbing trips with Tezuka and his father. They had gone to the Matterhorn together.

The young man nods, feeling almost nostalgic. Kimura is a work partner, a teacher, and a second father. Sometimes Tezuka wonders if he should tell the man about his health conditions, but...

"Well anyway, the advance copy from that new company. It's launching the day after tomorrow."

He glances at the magazine Kimura puts on the desk, then takes it into his hands, flipping to the contents page. As expected, the layout of this new magazine is very similar to their own.

"So, what do you think?"

Tezuka lowers the magazine. "It's no big deal."

Kimura leans back into his chair, a smile on his thin lips, as if he has anticipated this reaction.

"You have so much experience, Kimura-san." Tezuka fingers the pages absently, brown eyes shining with confidence. "This is nothing you haven't seen before. Why do we need to worry?"

"True."

A while later they close the office. Tezuka takes the new magazine home with him to read it through. He has won his war with this man before, but he is never careless.

And he knows that where Atobe Keigo is concerned, one must never take anything lightly.

-to chapter 3-