Trials of Trust

Part 4

We'll go to a place
Where no one will find us
Just you and I
I'm yours
I'll always be with you

Thirty minutes later, Tezuka stands outside the bedroom door. He knocks tentatively. "Fuji."

There are no sounds coming from the other side.

The left side of Tezuka's head is hurting, as if there is a bruise on his brain and something is pressing down hard on it. His pain medications are in the room, but he doesn't want to use that as an excuse to make Fuji unlock the door. He walks to the kitchen and takes the box of sushi from the fridge, then goes back to the closed door again.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to eat?" His face twists in pain. A hand goes into his hair to grab at the side of his head, as if they would make the headache lessen. For a brief moment he sees two doorhandles, then everything is glowing white as if to reflect the white hot pain in his skull. "Fuji... you said half an hour. Talk to me." Fighting to not show anything in his voice, Tezuka bows a little, pressing his forehead on the hardwood of the door, a hand holding the sushi box and the other clutching the doorhandle for support. Perhaps he should just say he needs his pills...

In the room, Fuji is curled up in bed, turned away from the door. Cerulean eyes stare blankly out the window. He knows he should open the door, but he just doesn't have the strength to do it. He doesn't know how to face Tezuka right now.

"Sorry, give me a bit more time." He says, hoping Tezuka can hear him through the door.

"Syusuke - "

Fuji turns around when he hears a noise, a dull sound he cannot name, then another sound of something plastic landing on the floor.

"Tezuka?"

Silence.

Suddenly Fuji remembers being told never to let Tezuka undergo any sort of pressure. "Tezuka!" Scrambling off the bed, he dashes to the door and yanks it open. On the floor, Tezuka loses the last bit of support he has when the door is pulled away from him, and he falls, shoulder landing first, onto the carpet. The box of sushi is next to his left hand, which has gone completely limp.

"Oh my God." Dropping onto his knees, Fuji brushes the sweat-damp hair away from Tezuka's eyes, and finds him semi-conscious. "Tezuka?"

Having had his breath knocked out by the fall, it takes Tezuka minutes - a time long enough to make Fuji want to call for an ambulance - to focus his sight, and even longer to reply, asking for his medication. Scampering away, too frightened to even think, Fuji gets the pills for Tezuka. By the time he manages to contact their doctor on the phone, the strong, fast-acting prescription has began to work.

Sitting up on the floor, leaning against the wall, Tezuka is already reaching for the phone when the doctor asks Fuji to let him speak to Tezuka directly. It is when the taller man speaks, describing the pain and reluctantly mentions his earlier nosebleed, that guilt hits Fuji with the force of a high speed train. Angry at himself for being so stupid and at Tezuka for being so stubborn, he barely realises Tezuka is passing the phone back to him.

"Make sure he comes to see me first thing tomorrow morning, Fuji-san. And that he takes his medication at the first sign of distress!" The doctor's voice, completely exasperated, only makes Fuji wonder more if his insensitivity has done any permanent damage. "Also, stress is Tezuka-san's greatest enemy. You know what I mean? Never allow him to stress out!"

Despite everything that has happened, and the fact that he is feeling completely shattered, Tezuka cannot help but chuckle when Fuji puts the phone down, his face looking like a child who has done something very wrong. In all these years he has known Fuji, he cannot remember ever seeing an expression like that. Standing up, he picks up the box of sushi, giving it to Fuji. "Eat first - "

He pauses mid-sentence when Fuji throws himself on him, arms winding so tightly Tezuka finds it difficult to breathe. "I'm sweaty, Fuji." He says, his voice tired. But when Fuji's only response is the tightening of his arms, Tezuka puts his own arms around Fuji, and bows his head.

I'm sorry...

It's okay.

It feels somewhat reassuring, pressing his ear to Tezuka's chest and hearing his heartbeat. Fuji thought he was going to lose Tezuka, just like that. Tezuka is just going to collapse, when he isn't there, or just when he isn't looking, and leave, quietly and alone. Because this is Tezuka, the man who shoulders everything on his own, who Fuji knows doesn't want to be seen dying not because of the weakness it implies, but because he doesn't want anyone to bear the pain.

Fuji chews his lip. How can one person be so selfish and selfless at the same time?

He lets himself be led to the bed, but blinks in surprise when Tezuka strips him of his shirt and makes him lie down on his chest. When he sees Tezuka pulling open a drawer for the massage oil, he pushes himself up. Tezuka shouldn't be doing this for him right now. And doesn't he want to talk?

The taller man pushes Fuji back down and kneels beside him, not saying a word. When warm hands glide on slightly cool skin, the healing power of the simple touch makes both of them sigh, the slow, smooth movements gradually take away all the tension and hurt inside them. Fuji's sense of time and space fades away then, Tezuka's touch now the only thing he is aware of. The way Tezuka puts his weight behind each push makes him feel as though they are joining together, two beings melting into one.

Fuji always wonders why Tezuka can do this, how he has learned to do it, although when he once asked Tezuka just shrugged and said it was trial and error. He has never done it to anyone else, only Fuji. But Fuji remembers his surprise when he felt those hands for the first time, the already expert skills that meant every push of the palms, every press of the knuckles was comforting and pleasuring.

When Fuji thinks hard about it, he puts it down to Tezuka's sensitivity. Those hard, brown eyes always observe, as if cold to the world, but they take in everything and Tezuka takes everything to heart. A natural leader, he has a way of making use of knowledge, be it to draw out his team's potential, to motivate those who work for him now, or to make Fuji feel wanted, understand exactly the way Tezuka is feeling, that he is an immovable, irreplaceable part of Tezuka's life.

Even now, it is as if Tezuka can tell he's thinking hard. And those hands settle on the back of Fuji's neck, thumbs pressing hard and pushing upwards to ease the muscles and take away the tension. In response, Fuji moans softly and stops thinking, letting his eyes slide close.

When Fuji opens his eyes again, he is alone in the bed. Realising he has fallen asleep, he rubs his eyes with the back of his hand, then freezes when everything that has happened in the day comes crashing back to him. In a panic he sits up, but before he begins a frantic search for Tezuka, the bathroom door opens, revealing the taller man, who climbs into bed, sitting up beside Fuji.

Fuji leans over and traces a finger along the scar left from Tezuka's shoulder operation when he was only 14. He finally feels calm enough to speak.

"Eiji told me about Atobe." He whispers.

Tezuka's only reaction is to close his eyes and sigh silently.

"Your arm, your future in exchange for him to leave me alone."

"Ooishi told me nyah, that Atobe's so demanding and stuff, and he always got what he wanted, the spoilt brat... and he had his eyes on you nyah. Apparently Atobe made loads of threats and was gonna force you to transfer to Hyoutei! You don't know what a guy can do with so much money. He could buy out the teachers, even the schools!

"And Tezuka basically put his foot down and told him to get lost, you know? He's liked ya ever since we started in Seigaku... that long match between them was Tezuka showing us what it meant to play with everything we've got... and also telling Atobe he won't back down no matter what."

Fuji was furious when he first found out, that Tezuka could have done such a thing without ever letting him know, made such a sacrifice and be completely silent about it. When he got home and saw Tezuka's face, the first thing he wanted to do was to hit him, hurt him for being such a stupid, stubborn bastard, and for hiding something like this from him, without ever planning to let him know the truth.

Then locking himself in the bedroom, his mind became blank. He didn't know how to face Tezuka.

It was because of him that Tezuka couldn't play tennis anymore... because of him that Tezuka gave up his dream of being on top of the world... because of him that Atobe is still trying to crush Tezuka in every way.

"It seemed that Atobe got the message then, and left you alone, but he's coming back again nyah. God knows why... but did you see him on telly? It was quite a while ago already... he started something in the same field as Tezuka! I think he's trying to force Tezuka's company out of business!"

Brown eyes open again, blinking several times before they turn to fix on cerulean ones. Tezuka knows what Fuji is thinking. That it wasn't worth it. "I don't think of it that way. I did what I wanted to do, that's all."

What he wanted to do... to make sure Fuji stayed with him, even when back then they were simply friends - Fuji has no idea Tezuka already loved him when they were so young. What Tezuka did, he did for himself, of course, yet it was, and still is, unbelievable, that he has already loved Fuji so much to give away his potential tennis career just like that.

"You make it sound so simple." The smaller man murmurs, his finger tracing a path towards Tezuka's hand, then their fingers weave together.

"It is that simple."

Tezuka doesn't explain further. That is all he thinks he needs to say, because he truly did what he wanted to do and he never regretted that decision. As for what Atobe is doing right now... Fuji doesn't need to know about it. Fuji hasn't got much interest in the business world anyway.

Fuji watches Tezuka reach for the sushi box on the side table, putting it on his lap. Tezuka doesn't mention Atobe starting a rival firm, and somehow Fuji thinks it is better to not talk about it. It will just be stressful, and didn't Tezuka say he will stop working soon? Tezuka doesn't need to be fussed over by anyone. He knows what he needs to do, for the sake of his health.

Finally able to smile, Fuji chooses a piece of salmon sushi and pops it in his mouth.

Tezuka should know what to do. And if he doesn't, Fuji is there to make sure Atobe stays out of their lives.

---

This is not possible.

This is exactly the main feature they are going to do for next month's issue.

Tezuka and Kimura stare at each other, then at the magazine on the desk. Kimura speaks first. "The second time in a row. This is definitely not a coincidence."

Tezuka reads the article, frowning wearily. But if this isn't a coincidence, it means someone in the company is leaking their plans to Atobe Publishing, and looking out of the glass window of his office to see everyone working so hard, how can he even think that one - or some - of them is helping Atobe to bring him down?

"We only have a few days until printing. There isn't time to write another main feature." Tezuka concludes, ignoring Kimura's observation. "We'll have to keep to our plans, but take a different angle." Quickly he makes an internal call for the lead journalist to see him.

"Yes we need to do that now, but son," Kimura squeezes himself into the chair opposite Tezuka, looking at him in the eye. "This isn't the long term solution."

Tezuka's lips press into a hard line. Eyes flicking to look out the window again, he doesn't want to accept, but still have to accept the possibility of someone selling information to Atobe. "But we don't know who it is, and there's no evidence."

When the lead journalist knocks on Tezuka's door, Kimura pushes himself up again. "Leave it to me. I know what to do."

As Kimura leaves, and the journalist walks in, Tezuka cannot help but think he is leaving all the dirty work to Kimura.

---

One week later, one of the photographers leaves for another job, and one of the editors, an old man who has worked for the company ever since it began, chooses to retire.

The rumour goes, around the workplace, that those two had sold information to another magazine for quick cash, and were asked to leave. When Tezuka walks around the office, voices become hushed, and smiles fade. No one knows what is happening, only that two of their friends no longer work with them, and they don't want to be the next ones to disappear.

Tezuka can see even Kimura is starting to feel the strain. The way the older man slouches when he sits, and rubs his forehead heavily, both speak of worry and doubt. In the end, Tezuka finds himself to be the one reassuring themselves that they had done the right thing, even if it means they have lost two of the very best in the office. But he knows even this is not the long term solution. As long as Atobe holds his grudge and continues his obsession about Fuji, the man will never leave him alone.

But what can he do?

Compound with the fact that their new subscription and resubscription rates are in constant decline ever since the launch of Atobe's magazines, Tezuka cannot help but wonder if he will be the downfall to his family business. When he looks to Kimura, the man looks equally defeated, and asks why the other company is so set on destroying them. Tezuka doesn't know how to answer.

He should be leaving the job. But Tezuka doesn't want to let Kimura handle all this alone, nor does he want to look like he is running away from Atobe. Even if he leaves now, Tezuka knows he will constantly worry about the business, until Atobe's attacks come to an end.

"Kunimitsu."

Brown eyes blink open when a large pair of hands shakes Tezuka gently. It takes a few seconds for Tezuka to realise that he has fallen asleep, when he was just going to rest his eyes for a few minutes. He gets tired so easily these days. Nodding at Kimura, he sees that the man is pointing at the door, where a familiar figure is standing, someone he can recognise without putting his glasses on.

"He said he's your friend?"

Tezuka nods again, reaching for his glasses. Kimura lets Fuji enter then. "Kimura-san, Fuji Syusuke."

"Nice to meet you, Kimura-san." Fuji smiles, blue eyes crinkling shut as he bows respectfully. "I thought I'd just visit. I bought some food, if you don't mind eating with us?"

Kimura shakes his head with a laugh. "My wife's waiting for me. Nice of you though, thanks." He gives them both a wave. "See you tomor - oh dear."

Fuji follows Kimura's gaze to look at Tezuka, who is pinching the bridge of his nose, his head tipped forward. With a sigh, he walks around the desk to get some tissues for Tezuka. "Having a nosebleed every few days isn't normal, son. Go take a day off and see a doctor."

Blue eyes open wide in shock. His fingers slacking, the bag of dinner slips from Fuji's hand, fortunately landing on the desk.

"Kimura-san..." Eyes flicking to Fuji, then back to Kimura again, Tezuka sighs inwardly.

Kimura cuts Tezuka short. "I know how this place is run. You don't need to worry about it. Take some time off."

"Of course you do, Kimura-san. But the workload should be shared."

A smooth voice cuts in. Fuji's smile is layered with a degree of falseness, and his words almost sarcastic, but Tezuka does hear the genuine concern underneath. "Perhaps you should take a few days off, if you aren't feeling well. Always listen to your elders, Tezuka."

When Kimura finally leaves, making Fuji and Tezuka the last people to still be in the office, Tezuka reaches across the desk to touch Fuji's hand.

Fuji flinches. Jerking his hand away, he starts to lay out their food on the desk, ignoring Tezuka's gaze. When he opens all the wasabi sachets, squeezing the green content onto one piece of sushi, Tezuka reaches over again, and catches Fuji's wrist. Fuji has been told by a doctor not to eat too much hot food, or anything that may cause irritation to his stomach - years of eating very hot food has done damage to Fuji's stomach lining.

The shorter man tries to wrench his wrist away, and glares with accusing blue eyes across the desk when Tezuka wouldn't let go. "Tell me to take care of myself when you start taking care of yourself."

Tezuka looks away first, releasing his grip. Point taken. "Kimura-san exaggerated. It's not really every few days. I've just been too busy to give it a thought."

In slow motion Fuji puts down the sushi. He hasn't intended to whisper, but he hasn't intended for many things to happen.

"But you won't be too busy to die."

-to chapter 5-