When Jordan awoke, Tobias was gone. He rolled over onto his back, sitting up against the wall, fingers playing about the cold sheets where he should have been. He was disappointed. Oh course, he should have known that Tobias couldn't stick around all night, he would have had to demorph at some point. Of course.
"You awake?" A familiar voice called to him.
Jordan scrambled out of bed, stopping only to let Elliot out of his cage next to the bed, and ran to the kitchen, the ferret bounding at his heels. "You're here?"
Tobias turned to look at him, spatula in hand. "Should I not be?"
"No, no, I didn't mean..." Jordan blinked, looking down at the stove "You're making eggs?"
Tobias laughed, scooping one egg up and flipping it over delicately. "Breakfast. You sleep late. I got hungry."
Jordan's brow furrowed as he was struck with horror "You didn't… of course you didn't… you aren't trapped, right?"
Tobias turned back to him, setting the spatula down, and all but tackled the other boy, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck, lips meeting lips hungrily. After a while, he pulled back, resting the tip of his nose against Jordan's and looking into those eyes… "No. I'm still strange, strange me. I woke up just in time, twice. Good internal clock like that." He grinned, turning once again back to the food, this time deftly slipping the eggs onto plates. "You're out of bread." Tobias informed him as they sat across from one another.
Jordan blushed, though he didn't know quite why. "I, um, I'm a little late on the grocery shopping front." He admitted, breaking a yolk with his fork, the yellow oozing out to cover part of his plate. He swirled the rest of the egg around in it, just watching Tobias.
"Hey there, little guy!" Tobias suddenly said, scooping the ferret off of the floor. "He was scratching at my leg," He said, looking up at Jordan. "What does he eat?"
"Oh, right, duh." Jordan leapt up, pulling a small plate and a water dish out of his wooden cabinets. He took a tray of the food from the freezer, plunking one of the portions down on the plate and then popping it into the microwave, which started to spin and buzz inside. "I make his food myself." Jordan told Tobias, as he filled the bowl with water. "It's called duck soup, but its really just pureed chicken and kibble." He took it out of the microwave, smashed it with a fork, and, picking up the dish and bowl called, "Time for duck soup, my Elliot boy." Elliot jumped out of Tobias's arms, chasing Jordan excitedly and hopping up onto the coffee table where his food was placed. He quickly dived into it. Jordan returned to the table and sat down, smiling at Tobias. "Sorry about that." Tobias laughed again, a beautiful sound to Jordan's ears. This Tobias seemed so different from the Tobias from last night, though he had been beautiful as well, beautiful but scarred, and sobbing. This Tobias glowed with happiness. Jordan took a bite of egg, smiling joyfully into his plate.
Tobias had been awake for what seemed to him for a long time before Jordan awoke. He had clambered back, out onto the fire escape, and sat there, drawing his legs close into his body and clutching them close against the morning chill. Was this wrong? Was this wrong? Was it? Tobias didn't know. Tobias had never really thought about his sexuality, in truth. He'd had some crushes growing up, sure, mostly on people who spared him from bulling, whether boy or girl. He'd had a big one on Jake. And he'd loved Rachel, loved her more than he could ever…ever… So, it wasn't about Jordan being a guy, not at all, it was about Rachel. Rachel, his… his first love, who was his first in so many other ways than the sexual first she had become for him the very night before she had died. She had known it, she had known she was going to die, Tobias knew now. That's why she had done it. And because she loved me, of course. Of course. She had been his first love, his first sexual experience, his first confidant, his first family, his first real friend. His only, only ever, for many of those. After that… how could he feel this way? How could he feel… safe, in his boy's arms? How could he touch him, kiss him, as he had touched her, held her so close he felt as if his heart was breaking and healing all at the same time, held her so their bodies felt no longer separate but one and the same, joined forever. How could he maybe, maybe… be starting to love Jordan, who was so different from his dangerous, beautiful Rachel, his warrior princess, his love…? Could he, was he even capable of loving another? Loving again? And if he was capable… was it right? Tobias didn't know. It felt like he was betraying her, almost. He felt like…
Suddenly, a bald eagle appeared on the railing, its huge yellow talons grasping it firmly. It stared at him with unfathomable eyes, stared straight into his heart. Tobias shook with fear. He stood up, extending a hand to touch the bird. It disintegrated into vapor, thin strands of steam twining the length of Tobias's arm. He groped at it; panic stricken "No!" He choked, twirling around, desperately looking for it, for her, but… Gone. Gone, but still, they had left something behind. He knew.
Tobias… I want you to be happy, my love.
Tobias smiled a sad, faint smile, which gradually grew into a joyful one. He hopped back into the warm apartment, nuzzling Jordan's cheek briefly, and then continuing into the kitchen.