Trials of Trust

Chapter 7

We'll go to a place
Where no one will find us
Just you and I
I'm yours
I'll always be with you

The drive takes around twenty minutes. Tezuka finds Kimura at the his office, studying the family photo Tezuka has on his desk. The man looks up when he hears the door, and gestures for Tezuka to sit down.

"How's it, son? You've seen the doctor?" Kimura looks up and down at the younger man as he sits, arms folded on the desk.

Tezuka nods once to the question. "I'll explain tomorrow, when everyone is here." He has already talked through his health problem twice today, once to Ooishi and once to Kikumaru, he is tired and doesn't think he can go through it again right now and break the heart of someone he sees as a father.

"That's it. Tomorrow." Kimura sighs heavily. "I've been meaning to tell you about it when you come back to work tomorrow. Well to tell the truth I've been wanting to sort it all out before you come back, since I screwed things up in the first place, but..."

Blinking in surprise at the way Kimura is speaking, Tezuka wants to ask, but Kimura points at the nicely printed piece of paper in front of Tezuka and just tells him to read it. It takes Tezuka just one minute to read the concise, but detailed letter, and when he looks up again, he is frowning.

"We didn't have this sort of thing back in our days. We always just told people to go." Kimura buries his face in his large, thick hands. "I really didn't expect anything like this, Kunimitsu... I'm so sorry."

"But what if there is a court case? Can we win?" Tezuka takes a deep breath and tells himself to relax.

"Not likely. I asked a lawyer friend and he said my procedures were all wrong. I've screwed up."

Tezuka fingers the corner of the piece of paper, trying his best not to frown, because Kimura doesn't need another source of guilt now. "Can we settle this with money?" Any problem that can be sorted out legally with money is not a real problem, that is what his father had told him once. Even if they do not have enough floating cash, money can always be borrowed. It is what cannot be solved using money that can cause damage.

"I've already contacted them, they won't accept out-of-court settlement. But I'm going to try again. Maybe we can settle on a sum..." The two look at each other, and there is no need to finish the sentence: but the damage is done. Being sued for unfair dismissal can deal a deadly blow to the company's morale, not to mention the time and energy dealing with such a case can consume, or what it may do to the share price.

The left side of Tezuka's face twitches once. He knows this feeling, that dull ache in his head, it's a warning sign of an imminent headache, one that would hurt so much he would rather be knocked unconscious.

"Like I said, I was going to tell you when you come back tomorrow, but I thought about it... coming back without knowing a thing wouldn't look good on you... Son? Are you listening?"

Rubbing his temples, Tezuka nods curtly. It is true that he should try to learn what he has missed during his break, otherwise it would look like he is just dumping everything onto Kimura and running off. Suddenly Tezuka remembers he hasn't told Kimura about his plans yet - how can he forget about that - but with a lawyer's letter on his desk, it seems logical to push back the discussion until that is over.

Sighing, Tezuka pushes up the glasses that are slipping off his nose. "Since we're both here, can you tell me the rest of all that I've missed so far?"

---

Jostled awake by the movement of the bed, Fuji blinks sleepy eyes open then narrows them when light from the bedside lamp assaults his eyes. Sitting at the edge of the bed Tezuka is getting out of his clothes and tossing them towards the general direction of the wardrobe. The scene screams caution to Fuji's mind. Tezuka doesn't throw things.

"Tezuka?" Slowly Fuji crawls over towards the man. He sees Tezuka's form stiffen, as if the sound of his voice has surprised him. "What's going on?"

The only description Fuji can come up with to the way Tezuka looks, when the man turns around to look at him, is "feral". Before Fuji can blink he finds himself pinned by his shoulders on the bed, before he can breathe Tezuka's lips are on his, stealing his breath away. Large, strong hands run over naked skin, Fuji not having bothered to put his pyjamas back on after Tezuka left earlier to meet his father's friend, and the touch is anything but gentle, but igniting desires nonetheless. Fuji doesn't protest when his pants are yanked off, neither does he mind when Tezuka grabs his wrists, pinning them above his head and hinting for him to not move them. Sometimes a bit of force adds spice and variety, and it isn't like he doesn't occasionally do this to Tezuka as well.

They kiss again and it is a messy kiss. Fuji moans aloud when Tezuka scrapes teeth along his neck, almost hard enough to hurt but not quite. It reminds him of the time several months ago when Tezuka all but jumped at him and took him from behind, completely lost to the heat of the moment and problems that plagued his mind. Something is wrong, that much is obvious, but right now it feels good, they both want this and questions can come afterwards.

But Fuji screams, and hands reach forward to grab at Tezuka's shoulders, when the man takes him in one quick, hard thrust, without warning and unlubricated.

"TEZUKA!" It burns as if he is being split apart at the seams, as if he has been torn open, which is probably what is happening. Instinct kicks in and Fuji doesn't care who it is that is doing this to him. He pushes at the man on top of him, kicking his legs to try to get away even though doing that hurts more. "NO! GET OFF!"

Tezuka goes still, eerily still, before he pulls himself out slowly.

Silence screams into their ears as they stare at each other. Neither of them can utter even a word. Fuji cannot tell if he is bleeding, it still feels like he has been cut open but nothing can be compared to the pain he sees in Tezuka's eyes. His heart breaks when he lifts a hand to brush Tezuka's cheek, then put his arms around the man's neck to bring him down in an embrace.

Tezuka is trembling.

"I... I don't know what I was doing..." Even Tezuka's voice quivers. He is truely frightened. "I don't know... I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..."

Fuji's only answer is the tightening of his hold on the man, and the running of his hand through Tezuka's hair. What is going to happen to them, what is going to happen to Tezuka? Why is it that one small lump of unwanted cells can completely wreck the life of the man he loves the most, reducing him to someone who is afraid of himself?

It doesn't seem like anything has been torn; there is no bleeding that they can see. But Tezuka's heart clenches when Fuji finally gets up, barely able to suppress a wince as he makes his way to the bathroom. What was he thinking? What has he done?

But that is it, he wasn't thinking. There was a void in Tezuka's mind, like a black hole, and he was sucked in. Everything was pitch black but Fuji's voice filtered through that utter darkness, so he searched for Fuji and tried to get more his warmth.

Catching up behind Fuji, Tezuka puts a hand on Fuji's shoulder to stop him, gesturing for him to wait as Tezuka prepares the bath. Not wanting to move around again, Fuji stands in the doorway, not knowing how he should feel, or what he should do.

"Is it something at work?" Finally he asks in a whisper that is almost drowned out by the sound of running water.

Tezuka doesn't respond, but his lips presses together into a tight line, which is answer enough.

"Tezuka. Leave it."

Crouching down as the bath starts to fill, Tezuka dips a hand into the water, then turns the hot water tap down a little. "Leave it?"

"It's destroying you." Fuji manages to keep the emotion out of his voice, but not out of his eyes, so he looks away when Tezuka turns towards him. "You were going to quit anyway. Whatever it is, let Kimura-san handle it."

Slowly standing up, Tezuka studies the man in the doorway, and he begins to frown. Fuji has never given suggestions or questioned his decision regarding his work before. Why is he starting now? "I can't do that." He scowls a little when Fuji shoots him a look that says "why not".

"It's my family's business, I can't let anyone bring it down." Not Atobe, not the market, not the ex-employee planning to sue. "And I can't let Kimura-san deal with everything that is aimed at me."

"Yes I understand, but you aren't being logical - "

"What do you understand?" The question is asked louder than Tezuka intends to. His voice raising, each word he speaks is harsh, clipped. "Do you even know what the problem is? I can't leave it; I won't! You don't know a thing, don't tell me what to do!" He grabs Fuji's arms and shakes him.

Taking a step back to balance himself, pain shoots through Fuji's body and he lets out a half cry, pulling himself away from Tezuka. "Hands off, you're hurting me!" Cerulean eyes glare at the man in front of him. "I don't know what problems you're having at work, true. But I'll tell you what I know: one day you're going to die and if you let those things get to you, that day will be soon. You told me you're quitting your job, you told me we're going to Matterhorn together! Do I mean nothing to you, does your own life mean nothing to you?"

Silence. Letting go of Fuji and pushing fingers through his hair, Tezuka looks down at his feet, confused and pained. What Fuji has said is obvious, why hasn't he thought of that, why is he yelling and hurting Fuji again? Since when has he became such a hatable, unthoughtful man?

Pushing pass Tezuka into the bathroom, Fuji turns off the water. Twice in one night Tezuka has disregarded his feelings, hurting him both physically and emotionally. He doesn't know if Tezuka means to say he said, to do what he did. He just can't tell anymore.

"Syusuke..."

"Go to sleep, Tezuka." The self-defensive smile tugs at Fuji's lips, but he forces it away. "Maybe when we wake up tomorrow we'll both feel a bit better, and perhaps then we can talk things through."

-to chapter 8-