Author-ito's note: I do no owns Batman and all of his ominous friends. What does ominous mean? I don't know. I though it would sound kick ass if I used it but I make myself look like a moron as usual. Sigh But they do belong to DC Comics! HUZZAH! (I don't know what "huzzah" means either. Buy me a dictionary, please.) ..And I also do not own Dora the Explorer's character Swiper the Fox. He belongs to Nick JR. (or whatever) and Whitney Houston's song belongs to Whitney Houston (or maybe Bobby Brown) You never know!
ALSO (yay) special thankies to all the readers! w00t! Without you… Well...you know...okay, maybe you don't know but I wouldn't prolly finish this...thing. Yep.
Now on to the story cause I bet no one ever reads that crap up there.
"Jonathan?"
"It's not what you think… Man-Yuna…?" Jonathan said nervously.
"…Did they kidnap you?" Batman said angrily. "Grr…"
"Are you kid- I mean... Yes! Yes they did!" Jonathan broke down crying. He then added some eye drops to make it more convincing. "Boo hoo…"
"Aww, poor Jonny… I SHALL AVENGE THEE!"
"Oh ho ho! No you don't!" Joker said while drawing out a remote control. Then he pushed a button opening up the floor and triggering the very expensive smoke machines that they had to rent: a powerful villain known to Gotham emerged from the ground… Swiper!
"Oh no! It's Swiper! We have to say: 'Swiper no swiping!'" Batman said.
"Are you kidding that will not work! We installed a new program to his brain that will resist all…umm….you know what I'm talking about! Swiper! Attack!"
"Jonathan…you want to know why I hired you?"
"Oh I'm just dying to know why you hired me in a crisis like this." Jonathan said sarcastically.
"Because… because you have a beautiful singing voice!"
"Really…?" Jonathan wiped away a tear from his eye.
"Now hurry! And put on the invisible thong!" Batman threw the invisible thong to Jonathan.
Jonathan caught the thong and shuddered. "Do I have to wear it and why were you carrying it with you?"
"Because Swiper will not see where you are coming from and to hide you from R. Kelly."
"Why R. Kelly?"
"Just go! Hurry!" Batman shoved Jonathan into the Janitor's closet. Then R. Kelly showed up singing:
"Man, why is Jonathan in the closet? Is he hiding from Swiper? Why are you dressed up as Yuna? Why don't you say Swi—"
"R. Kelly! He isn't in the closet! Look!" Batman opened the door. All of a sudden a Whiney Houston song was being sung from out of nowhere.
"And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuu!"
"It's so beautiful!" Joker cried and Swiper exploded into a flash of light. "Aw, man!"
"Jonathan! You did it! You save the day!" Batman cheered. The villains exited slowly mumbling as their plan was foiled by one of their own.
"I did?" Jonathan said surprised. " And how am I not invisible anymore?"
"Pshaw. Who told you that thong made you invisible? (But it does look good on you…)" Bruce said removing his mask.
"You did and this is really awkward seeing that we are BOTH wearing female clothing and are alone in a warehouse." Jonathan said.
"I don't." said Bruce.
"… I'm leaving now."
The next morning:
Bruce went down stairs to check if his Pop Tarts were ready when he found a note saying:
" I am disgusted with this story. I have taken Alfred and the Doctor with me to make a better sequel.
--Director of the 3rd and 4th Batman movies
PS I have stolen your Pop Tarts as well."
"NOOO! This means that there might be a horrible sequel!"