Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them.
Twisting Canon- Part Three cont.
Sickbay:
"Well, Doctor?" Kes eyed the hologram with dislike.
In the week that she had been stranded in this time period, none of the crew had particularly endeared themselves to her. There was Neelix, whose clingy and deferential behaviour was cringe worthy, making her avoid him out of pity for who he had become. And on the opposite end of the spectrum was the unwelcome reaction of the rest of the crew. It was as though some resented her for having left them during the Krenim attacks and felt she was not truly one of them for not having suffered right alongside them then. Others simply couldn't be bothered renewing past associations; they all had gotten on with their lives and had no time for her.
As a result, Kes had spent a lot of time in the hydroponics bay, finding that tending to the flowers at least gave her a relaxing task to do, to keep her mind off the current situation, and it had the bonus of reducing her interactions with this crew that were so familiar on the outside yet nothing like her memories of them. It took her quite a lot of control not to unleash the devastating forces barely kept in check inside her, and there were times when she was sorely tempted to obliterate any number of the crew.
Particularly the Doctor, who stared condescendingly back at her.
"I have concluded that the only way to reverse what is happening to you is to purge you entirely of the radiation," he told her. "However, that requires knowledge of the temporal variance of this Krenim torpedo you mentioned as contaminating the entire crew?"
Kes had a stricken look on her face. She had never known it was of any consequence, never thought to check the temporal variance of the torpedo.
"I suppose that is a 'no'," the Doctor concluded, then dismissed the matter. "There is nothing I can do. Computer, deactivate-"
"That's it?" Kes asked angered. "Nothing? I'm just stuck here?"
He raised a superior eyebrow, "Charmingly put, but yes, very apt. You are indeed stuck here. Now if there is nothing further…?" without waiting for an answer, the hologram completed the deactivation command and faded from sight as his program shut down.
The Ocampan clung to a bio-bed for balance as the shock of that pronouncement sunk in. "I'm stuck here," she repeated without heat, without any emotion. A bitter laugh resounded in Sickbay. "Maybe I should just destroy the ship and get it over with, or I'll go crazy…"
Just then, when she had given up hope, she felt a tingling. In that first split second of disbelieving joy, she dismissed it as nothing. But then the feeling grew to envelope her with the familiar chill as she thankfully left this warped parody of her ship and crew.
Flinching against the sensations she expected to overwhelm her, Kes realized that the displacement was over already. It seemed she was adapting to the onslaught of sensory data, and Kes, for one, was pleased not to be fighting oblivion or doubled over in nausea again. She examined her surroundings with a jaundiced eye, noting she was the centre of attention of the bridge.
"Commander Chakotay," Kes then exclaimed in surprise. "You're- alive," her voice expressed her deprecating attitude towards the surely absurd sounding words, but that fact was one that deserved to be observed out loud, for it meant Janeway would not be the embittered, world weary woman she had just left behind. "Wonderful," she said very sincerely.
"Kes?" Janeway asked curiously, obviously realizing this wasn't the Ocampan she knew. "What is this?"
"Captain Janeway, I require assistance," Kes announced with her best 'take no prisoners' approach. "And you're just the person to provide it."
"Chakotay, I'll be in Sickbay," Janeway said aside to her First Officer, arching a wry brow. "This should be good. Come on, Kes. Let's get you checked out."
"So," the Doctor tried to sort out the increasingly complex story but decided to cut to the basics. "I understand your desire to avoid oblivion, however, I'm afraid there is little I can do. My- counterpart was correct, that only the correct temporal variance can purge you of the radiation that is causing your jumps back in time." Seeing the Ocampan's slumped posture and cheerless expression, he sympathetically patted her on the shoulder in an awkward gesture of support. "Nevertheless, I'll conduct further research. Perhaps I may be able to find something of use to you before…" you revert to a former time period, perhaps too far for anyone to help you…
"Doctor, thank you for trying," Kes smiled tiredly. "At least I know you tried that much for me."
"Of course, Kes. It is no problem at all."
She shook her head at the contrasting attitudes of this hologram and the other that she had met. "This is just so odd," she didn't realize she spoke out loud. A familiar voice beside her startled the ruminating woman.
"I can't begin to imagine how odd- or perhaps, being faced with myself, maybe just a little," the Kes of the current timeline said with a touch of humour. "Hi."
"Hi," Kes said, considering her younger self. "Curiouser and curiouser."
The younger woman's eyes opened wide. "I just finished reading that."
Her older counterpart said with mischievous grin, "I know."
After a moment, they both burst out laughing, and Kes relaxed in the more welcoming mentality of this time period.
"How have you been?" asked Kes, intrigued by this chance to observe and interact with her future self. The Captain had predicted that the temporal mechanics would give her a headache, and so she had decided not to worry about how this opportunity had presented itself, but to focus on what insights it could offer her.
"It's been rough…I've made a few rash choices, some foolish decisions," Kes shrugged, looking into the innocent, guileless face of her younger self and feeling a sense of protectiveness towards her. A sigh escaped and she tiredly reflected, "I wonder if you're inexorably bound to my mistakes, condemned to repeat- or, rather, commit them again, I-"
"Captain Janeway said that her advice with trying to figure out temporal anomalies was not to try," Kes commented. "I thought I'd remind you."
"That is ever so helpful of you. I feel the headache easing already," she quipped. "But it's such a fascinating topic; how can I stay away? Particularly when I'm living the reality?"
"I'm responsible for my own actions," Kes returned to address her counterpart's regretful words. "If you're me, then I'm you and your actions are my own, therefore I'm responsible for whatever it is that happens."
"You're confusing me," she remarked.
Kes said with a deadpan delivery, "I'm confusing myself."
She gazed at the serene expression on her younger self's face doubtfully and decided to laugh at what must have been an intended pun. It felt good sharing in some humour after being angry and resentful for so long. She wished she could remain in this time period indefinitely, yet she realized that soon she would be forced to leave.
A compassionate touch made her look at the other Kes, who smiled gently. "I'm sure the Doctor doesn't mean for you to languish in here; why don't we go for a walk?"
Kes wasn't sure about how she would feel about facing the crew; even if they didn't remember how they treated her, or how she had treated them. Still, the eager to please look on Kes' face convinced her to fall in with her suggestion.
"Sure, it's as good a plan as any," she shrugged accommodatingly. "By the way, what's happening at the moment? I don't even know what stardate it is!"
"It's stardate 50348.1," Kes obligingly informed her. "And- let's see, most notable recent event was going back to twentieth century earth and discovering we were responsible for its advances in technology that shaped it into one of the major forces in the Alpha Quadrant! And of course, watching those soap operas…"
"Yes, I can't quite remember what the addiction was," she said smirking at her younger self. "But I know where we are now-" she paused, a horrifying thought striking her.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
Kes stared at her. "It's changed. This is different. I was supposed to be taken over by some hostile- aren't they all- alien former ruler of a place called Ilari. The stardate, the chronology of the events…it hasn't happened and it should be…What does this mean?"
"Well, from what you just said, I think perhaps that's a good thing, don't you?"
She shook her head. "No, I'm warping the timeline just by being here and I don't know what the long-term effects are going to be. I never fully considered it before now."
"It's all right," her young counterpart said soothingly. "Captain Janeway will fix it. I have faith in her and"-sternly-"so should you, understand? This will turn out fine in the end."
To have that ingenuousness, that infallible faith in the universe and her captain again! Kes felt strangely moved by how trusting she had been, and realized how far removed she was from that idealistic, wide eyed Ocampan she had been; vulnerable, and so eager to explore the mysteries of the universe around her. It really brought home to her the injustice of attempting to fix blame to her Voyager family for what she had been responsible for and she squirmed inwardly.
"Anyway," she firmly removed that train of thought from her consciousness, determined not to brood over it, "if this is all my past, and it's being changed, then shouldn't I have memories of what happened?"
"But it hasn't happened yet," Kes pointed out.
"It should have, from my point of view," she argued.
They had stopped in the middle of the corridor and had to move aside as a group of officers passed by. They were clearly dressed for the holodeck resort program, and all looked with lively curiosity at the second Kes, though all they did was to murmur polite greetings.
"We can continue this in my quarters, I think," Kes said ruefully. "It must be agony for the crew, wondering what's happening. I'm sure the rumours are flying at Warp 10 by now. Tom Paris will probably be along soon to learn what he can for the pools!"
"Good point. So now that we've established that nothing is established, especially your future which is my past and something that ought to be firmly in place," she said as they moved off on the new tangent to their quarters, "what is happening? Where are we headed?"
"Last I heard, a nebula to collect omicron particles. Voyager's systems badly need it."
"I should think so, for us to be risking entering a nebula again!"
Kes' eyes twinkled with a humorous light. "We do always seem to be getting into trouble with nebulae, don't we?"
"Yeah…" she leaned against the wall as they waited for the turbolift.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Kes said concerned at her future counterpart's fatigue. "It didn't even occur to me; are you hungry?"
"Famished," she confessed as the turbolift arrived.
Kes grinned. "We can go get some" – the Captain's voice suddenly interrupted over the comm.
"Kes, report to Sickbay. Immediately," she said before cutting the channel without further ado.
"Which of us do you suppose the Captain meant?" she asked her counterpart rhetorically and ordered, "Sickbay."
Janeway had returned to the bridge after verifying Kes' identity, the problem, and then setting the Doctor on it. It was a fascinating situation, from a scientist's point of view. Such a phenomena had never been recorded before, and she sat quietly musing in the command chair.
Of course, as Captain, she never lost track of what was happening; multitasking was part of the job. As part of her calculated mathematical probabilities out of interest- Tuvok's penchant for doing so had rubbed off on her in their years of friendship- she also ran through contingency plans, and recalled precedents with time travel to correlate to their current situation, before calling for a status report on the shuttle reported in the nebula.
"We're in range, Captain," Kim announced.
"Open a channel. This is Captain Janeway of the Starship Voyager to Federation shuttle," Janeway said, arching a brow at Chakotay ironically. "Please identify yourself."
"They're responding."
A gasp escaped someone on the bridge as Janeway appeared on the viewscreen- or Janeway as she would appear if she were subjected to a few years worth of misery and painful disillusionment. This Janeway looked anorexic, features starkly defined, expression haunted; a bitter smile twisted her mouth, though the acid amusement left her eyes untouched, sending a shiver through those present.
"Kathryn Janeway, formerly captain of Voyager."
Janeway handled meeting her counterpart with equanimity. It had happened once before, when the ship had passed through a divergence field, and so it was of no huge consequence, although since this woman was her future self, it added a certain spice to the situation. One she did not enjoy at all; dealing with temporal matters required a fluidity of thought when it came to seeing time as capable of proceeding in a non linear fashion, with dips and channels into other times as it pleased, without rhyme or reason. The Dali paradox, the Pogo paradox, predestination paradoxes, she viewed them all with equal distaste.
All this in mind, she said mildly, "May we transport you across to our Voyager?"
The older Janeway shrugged indifferently. "Do as you please, Captain."
"Janeway to Transporter Room One."
"Mulchaey here."
"Lock onto the lifesign aboard the shuttle and beam it to Sickbay, Ensign."
After a pause, the ensign reported a successful transport.
"Janeway out. People," the Captain began issuing orders rapidly. "Let's get that shuttle docked in the bay. Chakotay, you're with me. Tuvok, you have the bridge." As the turbolift began to move smoothly, she said to Chakotay, "I can't wait to hear this one."
"Any other counterparts I should know about?" the Doctor enquired without looking up, addressing the command team as they entered Sickbay. "I could save time and run these scans simultaneously."
"No, Doctor, there are only the two of them," Chakotay said reassuringly. Then he reconsidered, "For the moment anyway."
"Kes?" the older Janeway asked, speaking in monosyllables, as she had been throughout the entire medical.
"Yes," Janeway said. "She returned recently, through rather unusual circumstances," she paused, unsure how much to tell the woman.
"Elaborate," ordered the other Janeway in a harsh tone that her younger self took exception to, narrowing her eyes but letting it pass.
"It seems she is travelling backwards through time," she said curtly. "She will return in our fifth year in the Delta Quadrant, suffering from the morilogium, and in an effort to treat her, the Doctor-"
"Places her in a bio-temporal for a treatment that he devised when she was still on the ship in the past," finished the older Janeway, more animated now. "I remember that occurring, I was in Sickbay when it happened. Kes just suddenly- vanished! The Doctor didn't understand what had happened to her…"
"She suffered from radiation poisoning once, or rather, she will," Janeway explained.
Enlightenment appeared on her counterpart's face. "The chronitons, dormant in her cells for the time being, were activated by the field!" Annoyance filtered through her expression. "I should have thought of that. Damnit, I should have realized," she bit her lip.
"It wasn't your fault," Chakotay assured her, laying a hand on her shoulder.
Janeway flinched away as though he had struck her. She had been ignoring him for the entire time he had been in the room, careful not to look at him directly even once.
"I'm sorry," he apologised, uncertain what he had done to give offence.
She shrugged, a predominant form of communication for her. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."
Janeway and Chakotay exchanged looks over this reaction, but mutually decided not to press the issue with the woman.
"So- what will happen to Kes?" the older Janeway returned to the previous topic.
"Well," the Doctor said, pulling no punches. "If we can't do anything, it is likely that sooner or later- these jumps are erratic, according to what she had told us- she will arrive at the moment of conception, and then before, when she will…simply cease to exist."
Janeway shook her head determinedly, weary features hardening as she shot him an icy stare,"We can't let that happen."
"Do you have any suggestions?" he countered.
Her silence admitted what she refused to verbalize.
"Wait a minute," Chakotay said, realization spreading across his face. "We've missed something here, something very big. Doctor, you said that we needed to know the-?"
The hologram raised an eyebrow. "Temporal variance. I distinctly recall mentioning-"
"Of what? The temporal variance of what?"
His excitement was contagious.
"The torpedo she mentioned, that penetrated Voyager's shields in some attack…"
"Which occurs-?" Chakotay prompted.
Janeway answered his question. "In the future…from our perspective! Janeway to Kes," she addressed the comm, "Report to Sickbay immediately." She turned to her counterpart intently. "Can you remember what it- was?" she froze at the expression she saw. There was unconcealed horror and anguish on a face that had previously regarded them cynically. Something terrible had happened during this attack that Kes had carefully edited out of her abbreviated tale, so terrible that even a vague reference to it could provoke such a reaction. Uneasily, Janeway wondered what it could be, aware that the woman in front of her was removed only by a few years… "Captain," she said soothingly but with a bite in her tone. This was, after all was said and done, her. She knew how to handle this reaction. "This is no time to go to pieces. Come on, we have Kes to think about."
A glare was directed at her with such force Janeway blinked, just a little rattled by the entire encounter. Once was not enough to become comfortable with such a situation. At least the future Janeway seemed to be pulling herself together.
"You don't need to remind me what my responsibilities are, Captain. I know what's at stake. And don't use that title, I don't have a ship anymore."
"Very well, what do you wish to be called then?"
The woman sighed, unwinding slightly. "I don't know, just- call me Kathryn. It's been a while," her gaze lost focus as though she were reliving memories again, more pleasant ones. "Quite a while."
Without looking at him, she knew that Chakotay was feeling the same anxiety and uneasiness she was, wondering what bleak future faced them, that it could change her to this extent. Still, the more things changed, the more they stayed the same. The older Janeway snapped into action.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Kathryn said, revitalized now, with the many months in the Void becoming a dim memory as she focussed on the present. "The variance was 1.47 microseconds," her jaw jutted. "Harry was blinded as a price for learning that information. He was able to get it to Seven so that we could create temporal shielding against the Krenim, to resist changes in the timeline, but…"
"He'd be relieved to know that it could save Kes' life," Chakotay said gently, knowing that guilt must be gnawing at her. They all had a soft spot for the naïve, optimistic ensign. Kathryn was able to meet his eyes and she smiled a little at his words.
"What's this about saving my life?" Kes' voice cut in.
The Doctor looked towards the door. "Ah, Kes, and Kes, just in time. We now have the temporal variance, thanks to- Kathryn."
Kes looked at the future Janeway in surprise. "Kathryn? As in-"
"Yes, I've met you. That was me that day," those words contained a significance that escaped the rest of those in the room, but Kes understood, or at least one of them did.
"Of course. It was you who wanted to help me then, even after-" Kes paused meaningfully. "You would be the one to help me now. It all comes full circle, doesn't it?"
Kathryn nodded, accepting that statement as it was meant, before saying decisively, "Nothing has been accomplished; you're not saved yet. Let's get to it, Doctor," she ordered, before looking at her younger self. "With your permission, of course, Captain."
"Granted," Janeway said smiling. "Doctor, what she said!"
Kes shivered slightly as she experienced a sense of déjà vu while she was preparing to be purged. The Doctor was just inputting the information that Kathryn had volunteered.
"Kes? You're not feeling cold?" Janeway asked her concerned. Kes had told them of the minor symptoms before she experienced a temporal step backwards.
"No, just nerves."
Kathryn briefly touched her shoulder. "This will work."
In the modified bio-temporal chamber, Kes nodded, drawing comfort from the women who had been her Captain. Eyes widened in anticipation as the Doctor caught her eye, signalling it was about to begin.
"Captain, Kathryn, you need to clear the chamber."
As they obeyed, a forcefield went up to protect the others from any harmful emissions. All present tensed as the procedure began. The hologram crossed the barrier without difficulty, hologram that he was, and began the task of co-ordinating different programs, trying to determine if it was taking effect and keeping an eye on Kes' vital signs. It would be horribly ironic if they were to lose her now to another time when she was so close-
Dread clamped around his proverbial heart.
"Kes, your temperature is dropping," he said in a reasonably steady voice. "I'm trying to compensate-"
"I'm not a piece of machinery, Doctor," Kes said chidingly, and the hologram smiled briefly, but a strained mask covered his face and he began muttering figures under his simulated breath.
"It's not working… your temperature had decreased by 2- 2.5…Kes!"
In front of their horrified gazes, Kes disappeared from sight.
-End Pt 3-