Chapter 9: Picture Book

Woody ran a hand through his hair in a way that was always so reminiscent of their father to Cal that it nearly always made him cower from his big brother just a little bit more.

"I'm sorry Woody I just….I'm not sure how much longer I could have kept that to myself before it ate me up inside.." Cal admitted quietly and allowed himself a humorless laugh. "Christ man, God knows I've spent most of my life trying to forget it ever happened.." he said raising his eyes to Woody. "Not that you'd ever let me forget.." he sighed dropping to the couch again with a resigned sigh.

"I'm tired Woody…" Cal said echoing words Woody had said only a day or so earlier to Jordan. "I'm so tired of trying to…to remember Mama…" he said as his eyes clouded with unshed tears. "To…to forget what happened to Pop, it's…exhausting…it's suffocating…" he said looking at his brother standing tall over him.

"Don't you think it's been exhausting for me too Cal?" Woody asked a little more softly than before. "Don't…don't you think that I miss them too? They were my parents too God damnit." Woody choked out and turned his head away, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"They still are.." Jordan said suddenly from the door of her room, holding out a picture that Cal had shown her the night before.

The Hoyt's had been married barely half a year when Woody's mother had discovered she was pregnant. They didn't have two coins to rub together but they were young and in love and felt like that would be enough to get them by.

Woody stepped towards Jordan and took the worn picture out of her fingertips. "Where.." he started to whisper but Cal stood from the couch.

"…It's mine." He said moving over to stand beside Woody. "I took it from one of the photo albums under the steps..." Cal explained as he watched Woody thumb at the frayed edges. "There were plenty of pictures in there and I didn't think you'd notice if I just took one…" he said.

"…It was always your favorite, and I guess you're entitled to it…" Woody noted simply and finally allowed himself a smile at the sight of his parents so young he could barely believe they were parents at all. The only evidence of that truth being the little bump in the young brunette's belly where her husband had tenderly set his hands. "How come this is your favorite anyway?" Woody asked wiping his eyes quickly and looking at Cal. "She was pregnant with me, not you." He stated simply and Cal shrugged.

Cal smiled. "I always wondered when you'd finally ask me that.." he said taking the picture back from Woody and looking it over.

"It's because…well if they hadn't had you first…I would have been alone after they both were gone. Like you said yourself Woods…" Cal said softly lifting his eyes to his older brother's. "If it weren't for you keeping tabs…" he whispered looking down at the picture. "I'd have been dead years ago.." Cal said with a ragged sigh. "If I never had you…I never would have known what it meant to be a real man and take responsibility..you showed me that Woody…you showed me what that meant when Pop was gone. You picked up the pieces, you put your own needs aside and you always told me that we'd be okay.." he nodded. "And you know what? Even after everything I've done wrong in my life…all of the close calls, the near misses, the drugs, the alcohol, the gambling…you're still here, being a man..and I'm still here…aspiring to one day be the man you tried so.. damn hard to raise me to be." Cal nodded and let the tears come finally as he looked at the picture again.

"It was my fault that you were there that night if I'd kept a better eye on you, if I'd kept you in instead of letting you go out where I knew Pop would probably catch you and tan your hide..he wouldn't have seen you at that store.." Woody rambled. "He..he wouldn't have stopped to make sure you were outta there..he..he wouldn't have turned and we wouldn't…" Woody said biting back tears.

It was Jordan's turn again to be the voice of reason. She was as surprised as anyone to have found herself in that uncharacteristic position the past few days but she felt like she'd taken on the task admirably.

"Woody stop…" She said gently, placing a hand on his arm. "It wasn't your fault…It wasn't Cal's fault either…" She said. "Like I said…sometimes we just get dealt a crappy hand…My mother died, I don't know where my father is anymore. Your mother was taken away from you before you even had the chance to get to know her. Your father was taken too and that's….it's SO unfair.." She whispered taking one of Woody's hands in one of hers and one of Cal's in the other. "…I know it is. And you can be bitter and angry at the world and walk around with this giant chip on your shoulder your whole life and just..just take the things and the people you DO have for granted." She said looking pointedly between them both. "Or you can honor their memory by being the people your parents dreamed for you to be." She said nodding.

"What if…what if you don't know what they wanted you to be?" Cal asked sounding so much like a child that Jordan, in accordance with her newly adopted role as caretaker of the two men in front of her, reached out to touch his face. "I'm sure…that all your parents wanted for you two was to be healthy, to be happy with yourselves, and to be good men." She said and squeezed Woody's hand gently.

"Now, I know you may have your own opinions about where you each fit into those hopes…but from where I'm standing…I'd say you're well on your ways to being those men." She said with a sad smile. "Your parents would be proud of you right now. You're in the same room, honoring their memories..." She said looking at the picture Cal still had in one hand. "but most importantly, you're together…no matter how long it might be for, right now, you're together." She said looking at them both. "But then you know me, I'm always the first one to try and speak for the dead so.." Jordan said with a soft laugh, chancing a smile.

"Thank you Jordan." Cal whispered. "I think I needed to hear that more than I realized." He said nodding and held the picture to his chest as he leaned down to kiss Jordan's cheek.

"Easy there boy.." Woody said putting a hand on Cal's chest. "Let's not have a repeat of Mary Alice McKenzie.."

With that gentle push Woody edged his way between Cal and Jordan, taking Jordan's cheek in one hand and leaning down to kiss her lips feather light before pulling back.

"She'd be proud of you too Jordan." He whispered glancing at a picture of Jordan's mom sitting on the little table by the couch. "You're a good doctor, a strong woman and one of the best friends I've ever had." Woody said with a soft smile that reached his eyes for the first time Jordan could remember since he was shot.

"Yeah well, I guess we have more in common than we thought huh Farm Boy?" Jordan asked with a little wink.

Woody nodded and looked at Cal and then Jordan again. "I guess we're all just a bunch of motherless children huh?" he asked and moved to the couch, slumping down. Jordan sat down beside him and Cal joined them sitting on Jordan's other side.

"Yep." Jordan sighed.

"So I guess you want us to kiss and make up now huh?" Woody asked laying his head on her shoulder and raising his eyes to Jordan's briefly.

Jordan smiled and put an arm lightly around each of them with a nod.

"I'm sorry I'm….not the man you wanted me to be Woody…all I can do is promise you I'm going to try and get there…" Cal said turning his head into the motherly shoulder Jordan was offering him as he looked past her to his brother.

Woody thought for a long moment then nodded. "I guess that's as much as I should expect right now…" he sighed. "But it's a start…it's a good start.." he added off of Jordan's look.

"...and there is no time like the present," she smiled grabbing her bag and jacket. "I'm going to give you guys a little space..."

"Jordan, it's the middle of the night," Woody began to argue.

She stopped him by cupping her hand over his mouth. "Quit while you are ahead cowboy. Its not he first night I've slept at the morgue, I'm sure it won't be the last. Just don't trash the place. I'll talk to you later."

Cal helped Jordan with her coat. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You can leave some food in my fridge..." she teased. "If I don't see you before you leave it was nice seeing you."

Cal rolled his eyes but didn't comment. Instead he kissed her cheek. "Good bye Jordan."

"I'm sure I'll see you again..." She may have been addressing Cal but her eyes were asking Woody.

Woody simply nodded. Jordan knew it wasn't completely over, but the doors were wide open. All they needed was some time which she was willing to give. On impulse she kissed Cal's cheek giving him some unspoken support. As for Woody, the last thing she did before she walked out the door was to meet his eyes and reiterate to him that he wasn't alone. She'd always be there for him. Woody was still grinning back long after she left.

"She's as special as you described Wood,"

"You don't even know the half of it..."

Reconnecting is a complicated path. The twists and turns of lost trust and life long secrets were hard to dodge. The only way to face them was head on. For Woody and Cal it was a long night. But by the time Woody drove Cal to the bus station they had made a pact to work on trying to find a happy medium.

Woody was left drained. It took him two more days to put the video of his father's death away. The pain was still there. He doubted it would ever truly go away. But for the first time in months Woody felt he could keep the feelings in a place were they couldn't control him anymore.

It was in this frame of mind he found himself at the morgue handing for Jordan's office. The bouquet of flowers in his hand wouldn't be called showy or extravagant but he knew Jordan wouldn't appreciate flash as much as she'd value the sentiment.

Jordan smiled when Woody set the vase on her desk. "What's this?" she asked taking in the soft fragrance.

"Just my way of saying I appreciate everything you did for Cal."

"Cal's fine. If I ever found myself in the market for a roommate..."

"ah...no" Woody laughed. He didn't know if she was kidding or not.

Jordan wiped the smirk off her face and replaced it with a look of concern. "So, how did it go?"

Woody took a deep breath. "...Good. I'm going to fly out there this summer and spend some time with him."

"I'm happy for you Woody. What about...what about your father?"

Woody had been around Jordan enough to know her question wasn't just asking the obvious. After all, her intellect and keen insight were one of the things he most admired...and hated about her. First he answered the obvious. He told her that he put the video away. There were still questions but the answers weren't as important as they once were. As for the rest...

"...My father wasn't a saint Jordan. He had his issues. We all did. Does it make it right? No...but I can't change what happened. Cal understands. It's just going to take time to convince myself."

"I don't have any doubts you will Woody. Trust me. I've been there."

"We're more alike then I ever figured."

"Partners," Jordan smiled.

"Partners...I like that."