Chapter 4
The door swings open then and there she is standing in the doorway, a somewhat nervous looking Andrea.
"Hi" She says attempting half a smile before focusing her eyes on the ground; she can't believe it's actually him standing there.
"Hi" Neil responds staring at her, she hasn't changed at all except she looks tired and there seems to be a vulnerability there that wasn't there before. "Can I come …?"
"Erm yeah, sorry" She cuts in looking up from where she'd been gazing, "Annabelle's through there" she points into the direction of the living room, moving herself into the wall to let him past.
As his makes his way towards the living area she's shuts the door. She takes a deep breath before following him.
Neil enters the living room and is surprised at how different it is to the flat Andrea had in Sunhill. A soft gurgling sound draws his attention to the floor where lying on a blanket, is his baby daughter. Neil smiles at the gurgling baby and swallows, as a rush of emotion hits. He can't quite believe that the small dark-haired baby lying there is his. There's no doubting she has her mothers looks.
Andrea has been silently watching not quite knowing what to do or say. She watches Neil smiling down at their daughter and finally decides on what she's going to say.
"Do you want to hold her?"
"Erm, yeah, yeah I'd like that."
"Do want to sit down then?" Her eyes indicating towards the sofa.
Neil moves himself to sit on the sofa, placing the bag in his hand at his feet. The sofa looks familiar to him and he soon realises it's the same one from Andrea's Sunhill flat.
Andrea gently scoops Annabelle up in her arms, carrying her over to where Neil is now sat. Their arms and hands brush as she places the baby in Neil's arms.
"You need to support her head" She says, "like this" and takes Neils arm so it's supporting the back of Annabelle's head.
Their eyes meet for a moment, before Andrea removes her gaze and gets up, heading towards the kitchen.
"Do you want some tea?" she calls out as she approaches the counter, where the kettle stands.
"Yeah, please" Neil replies his attention on the warm bundle in his arms. He reaches out a finger and watches as his daughters tiny hand grasps hold of it tightly. He smiles down at her, slightly overwhelmed by everything. He can't remember feeling this way when Jake was a baby but then again he was never there and neither was Phillipa both to busy working, leaving the care of their child to someone else.
Andrea thenreappears and places a cup of tea on a small coffee table. Neil looks up from Annabelle.
"She's beautiful." He says smiling.
Andrea smiles back clearly pleased by his comment, "Yeah, she is"
"She looks just like you."
"Yeah, she does" Andrea replies. A thought then crosses her mind, "She is yours though if that's what you're getting at."
"I …" Neil's not quite sure what to say, shocked by the sudden turn in conversation.
Seeing Neil's worried expression makes her wants to take her words back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean …"
Her attempt at apologising is interrupted by Annabelle who chooses the moment to start crying.
Neil looks down uncertainly at the bundle in his arms, not sure what to do or what's wrong.
"Here, I'll take her" Andrea rescues him taking Annabelle back in her arms, gently rocking her.
"Ssh Bella it's alright"
"Bella is that what you call her?" Neil asks taking a sip of his tea.
Andrea looks up; Annabelle's cries have mostly died out. "Yeah, Bella for short. Annabelle is a bit of mouthful sometimes" She says smiling, grateful that the brief moment of awkwardness has gone.
Neil nods, as if in agreement before taking another sip of his tea. "And are you coping alright?" He asks.
"Yeah it's fine" She responds quickly, lying slightly, not wanting him to know how hard she finding things, not wanting to put any pressure on him.
"What about money?" He says glancing round the flat. "I was thinking we could come to some sort of arrangement, I could pay you a regular amount weekly, monthly, whatever would be easier?"
"I'm fine, I don't need any money. Honestly it's okay" Andrea repsonds somewhat unconvincingly.
"I'm not saying that. I just want to give you some money to help with Annabelle. I know that children aren't cheap. And as her father I want to be able to support her. Both her and you." Neil says arguing his point.
Neil's insistence just annoys Andrea even more. She had wanted it to look like she was capable of bringing Annabelle up without any help. Money was tight but she was still managing to cope.
"Look Neil, I don't want or need your money; I'm perfectly capable of supporting Annabelle myself!"
"Really" Neil responds, clearly not convinced. "You haven't changed at all, have you Andrea. You're still so damn stubborn!"
Andrea looks away and puts Annabelle in her bouncer chair. This wasn't how she was expecting things to go. Neil shouting at her like that was the last thing she wanted. She pushes away the prickling of tears at the back of her eyes. The last time she saw Neil he'd been shouting at her, and it's just like he'd said, nothings changed.
Neil watches Andrea with Annabelle, not sure if she's upset or not.
"Andrea. Look, I'm sorry. If you're sure your okay then we'll just leave it, okay?" Neil says gently, not very happy about it all but wanting to clear the tension in the air.
Andrea settles herself down on the floor next to Annabelle and nods.
Neil eyes fall to his feet, thinking of something to say. He notices the carrier bag and remembers the teddy bear.
"I got a little something for Bella" He says holding out the bag to Andrea, as if trying to offer a peace offering.
Andrea takes the bag and pulls out the pink teddy bear. She smiles at it and shows it to Annabelle.
"Look what daddy's bought you Bella" She says and they both watch as Annabelle pats the teddy head with her tiny hands. It too big for her to hold, just slightly bigger than herself.
Andrea smiles across at Neil. "I think she likes it"
"Yeah"
Andrea gets up from where she is sitting and picks up their empty cups before heading over to the kitchen area. Neil gets up from the sofa and moves to where she'd been sitting. He picks up the teddy and plays with Annabelle, showing her how to press the bear's paw so it plays music.
Andrea, coming back from the kitchen stops and watches them. It's clear that Neil adores their daughter and Bella seems perfectly happy sitting with Neil. Watching them reminds her whats important and how she wants Annabelle to get to know her father.
It's a while later when Neil looks at the clock and notices the time.
"I'd better be going" He informs Andrea.
"Oh, okay." She says and a something suddenly occurs to her. "Does Phillipa know you're here?" She asks, her mind flashing back to the typed letter she's almost sure Neil didn't write.
Neil swallows. "No, no she doesn't."
"Does she know about Annabelle?" Andrea's not sure but she suspects that Pippa knows of their affair.
"Yes, she knows about Annabelle. She doesn't know I'm here because me and Phillipa we're separated. We're going to get divorced."
"I'm sorry." Andrea says slightly suprised. "Did she … did she find out about us?"
"Yeah, she did but that's not the reason why it happened. It just wasn't working, hadn't for a long time."
Andrea nods. She knew Neil hadn't been happy with Phillipa.
"But Phillipa, that's why I didn't get in contact before. You see she only gave me your letters a week before I wrote to you." Neil explains.
"You didn't get my letters? She kept them?" Andrea asks things started to make sense to her.
"Yeah" He responds sadly.
"Why?"
"I don't know I haven't seen her since."
"Do you still see Jake?" Andrea asks of his son.
"Yeah, when she lets me."
"I'm sorry" She never wanted their relationship to take him away from his son.
"You can come and see Annabelle whenever you want." Andrea says.
"Thanks; I'm not sure when it'll be. Depends with work."
Andrea nods. "I work everyday except for Sundays and Tuesdays. Part-time. Bella goes to nursery."
"Okay then. If I give you a call"
"Yeah that would be fine. You don't have my number though do you?"
"Er no."
"Its okay, I'll go write it down for you." Andrea disappears through the door to her bedroom.
Neil kneels down to where Annabelle is sitting in her chair and plants a kiss on her head.
"Daddy's got to go now sweetheart but I'll come and see you soon. Okay." He says smiling at Bella.
Andrea comes back into the room, a slip of paper in her hand. "There you go" she says handing it to him.
"Right I'll be off then' Neil slips the paper in one of his pockets.
"Okay then, I'll see you out."
Andrea picks up Annabelle and walks with Neil towards the door. Neil steps out the door.
"Bye then." He says and plants another kiss on Bella heads. As he looks up his and Andreas eyes lock.
Andrea removes her gaze and focuses on Neil's car. "Bye"
Neil steps down. "Bye. Take care. Both of you."
Andrea watches as he heads to his car and shuts the door. She takes Annabelle into the bedroom and lays her in her cot for a sleep.
She sits herself down on the sofa, exhausted from the day's events. Seeing Neil again was hard for her, awakening old feelings she thought were forgotten. Finding out that Phillipa had kept her letters from Neil, confirmed that he hadn't sent that first letter. Her eyes fall on the teddy bear that Neil brought Annabelle. She goes to pick it up to put in Bella's cot with her and notices several notes of money sitting where the teddy had sat. She sighs and counts the money. £100 she didn't want any money from Neil but she takes the money and goes to put it in her bag, she'll buy something for Annabelle with the money.
It's early evening when Neil arrives back at his flat, pleased with how the day went. He'd loved meeting his daughter and it had been good to see Andrea. Seeing her again made him realise how much he'd missed her.
In his flat, he finds a message on his phone from Phillipa wanting him to pick Jake up from a party, a week Sunday. The message brightens his mood even more; it's been a while since he last saw Jake.