Chapter: Five.
Series: Gorillaz.
Rating:R. Foul language, angst, and slash (Murdoc2D).
Disclaimer: Albarn's and Hewlett's.
Chapter Warnings: Mildly slashy stuff, mostly just alluding to it.Murdoc being an ass.
Notes: Annnd this is a relatively short chapter. FILLER CHAPTER. Next one's gonna be a doozy... this is preparation. XD
The angst has been bumped up a teeny bit, but it won't linger like a bad smell, I promise.:) As always, the feedback is appreciated. Thanks so much for sticking with me for this long!
And 2D had slept for four heavy, dreamless hours.
When consciousness pricked at the outer edges of his sleeping mind and he was drawn sluggishly back to the land of the living, the first thing he registered was the warm weight resting on one side of his torso. The next things were the muscled arm wound rather comfortably around his waist, and the leg settled between his own.
What he didn't have time to register, however - before he turned his head and cracked his eyes open for a look - was just how masculine all of the above actually were.
He blinked his eyes to adjust them.
He stared.
He stared for what seemed like hours.
Very long, slow-motioned hours. Hours that stretched on into painfully endless days.
At first, he was certain that it was the grogginess of having just woken up screwing with his head. But the longer he stared, the more he blinked himself awake, there was no mistaking the gender, and the identity, of the face sleeping soundly next to his own on the single pillow.
Jesus.
Jesus Christ.
Slowly, very carefully, 2D managed to squirm himself away from the solid warmth of the body beside him. He dropped his legs over the edge of the mattress and sat, staring detachedly at the dirty winnebago floor and nearly wincing as memories and details trickled and seeped back to him. He tried to shut them out by closing his eyes, but it didn't help. Nothing did.
His lower body ached and burned.
Before then, 2D had never even entertained the idea of sleeping with another man, let alone sleeping with Murdoc. Murdoc. Of all people. One of the most vile, crude, disgusting human beings he'd ever encountered in his life. Sure, the man'd saved his life, and 2D looked up to him for it; loved him like a brother, even. He had respect for him, especially as a fellow musician. Owed him his soul, as well, if he remembered correctly.
But, to sleep with him? Why? What had ever possessed them to...?
... oh, yeah. They were high.
As fucking kites.
Their perception was off. Their senses were heightened.
And it was. so. good.
His stomach turned. He settled a hand over it apologetically, reaching down with the other to gather up his clothing. Stood up - with much wincing and biting his lower lip - to quietly, carefully slip into his jeans.
He paused, turning to chance one more look at Murdoc over his shoulder.
He retreated across the car park to his room. He didn't sleep for the rest of the night.
That's the thing ... or one of the very many, rather ... about regret.
It makes you sick.
Well, at least he'd figured something out. Up close and personal, Murdoc was actually far, far from beautiful when he slept. (1)
"The point I'm tryin'a make," Russel clarified. "is just 'cause I have my own problems, don't mean I wanna start ignorin anyone else's. Like you guys." He gestured with his half-eaten doughnut - the third of the morning - to the Japanese girl sitting across the table from him, watching him quietly. "I know you guys got your problems, and I like to help with them. I don't want what happened with Del, and what's been happenin with me since he left, to make me negligent."
Noodle smiled and nodded her head, her hands folded wisely on the table in front of her. She had long since accepted the role of the band's unofficial, unprofessional psychiatrist. She handled the role wonderfully.
"I see," she replied. "You are too much worrying about pleasing others, Russel-san. First, I think, you need to... step away from. From others and their problems.You.. you need to have, uh, that space for yourself, and for yourself to... to think."
"But you guys-"
"Iie, iie, iie desu." (2) She waved a hand at him. Shook her head firmly. "See, this is... is where you are having trouble. Too much worrying. Worrying about us. We are... smart, as well. We can take care. Of ourselves. You do not... ah, have to watch us all the time. You, need time for you. And I, I will not hold it against you, or... find you negligent. Neither will the others."
There was a pause. Russel idly turned the doughnut around in his hands. "...y'think so?"
"Russel-san," she said in a mischevious tone. Her smile was sweet. "I know so."
The door to the kitchen opened and the two fell silent, turning their heads to watch an underwear-clad, very disheveled Murdoc amble in, posture slouched and hair sticking up and out in nearly every direction imagineable. Noodle made a face caught between amusement and slight revulsion, and Russel seemed not to take notice of his band mate's very heavy lack of clothing.
The bassist stopped halfway to the refrigerator, eyes catching sight of the plate of doughnuts on the table. "Oho," he mumbled, changing direction and moving in to take one. "surprise, surprise."
"And you can thank Noodle for it," Russel said with a hint of indignance. He knew he wouldn't, not honestly, but it was worth the try. "it was her idea, and she got up real early to get 'em."
Murdoc was already shoving half of one into his mouth. "Yeh yeh fanks abunch," he muttered around it, and swallowed before adding, "An' wot're y'doin goin out by yerself? Yer just'a kid."
"Oh, there is much more to me... than just a kid, Murdoc-san," Noodle shot back with a smile.
For the second time that morning, conversation was abruptly paused by the opening kitchen door. What came through it had everyone, Murdoc included, frozen and staring.
2D looked a mess. He seemed too pale, paler than his usual pasty self, and the dark bags that normally hung below his (now) half-lidded eyes were far darker and more noticeable than usual. There was such a terrible lack of energy and spirit in the way he looked, the way his shoulders were hunched, and the way his feet barely lifted from the floor as he walked. He was making quite the effort - even in his apparently exhausted, miserable state - to avoid eye contact with anyone.
Russel noted that he was wearing the same faded jeans he'd worn the day prior. That was unlike him.
Noodle, on the other hand, noted that the bruise on the side of his neck had gotten much worse. It looked red and angry, and the skin around it was irritated. She thought she could make out the slightest, faintest hint of teeth marks.
How odd.
Murdoc didn't note anything. He was too busy fixing 2D with a blank stare as everything sort of flooded back to him again.
Had they really...?
They most certainly had.
But was it...?
Oh, yes. Painfully consensual.
Murdoc grinned. A slow, wide, toothy grin. He didn't care if anyone else saw it, either.
2D shuffled to the refrigerator. His small, tired steps were careful and slightly off-kilter. It hurt to walk. It hurt to move. Everything below the belt was sore.
"Hey, D," Russel spoke up tentatively. "there're doughnuts over here, man."
2D, fingers curled lifelessly around the refrigerator door handle, slowly turned to look back. "Huh...?"
"...doughnuts." He gestured to the plate.
Instead of looking at them, though, the singer's eyes flickered to Murdoc. The grin settled calmly over the older man's face was enough to churn 2D's stomach again, and he had to turn away.
"Nah," he murmured. "S'awright. Thanks, Russ. I don' feel too good an'ehway an I jus' kin'na wanna..." The rest trailed off into quiet, incoherent babble to himself as he pulled the refrigerator door open, reached in, and came back out with a can of beer.
"What crawled up'is arse an' croaked?" Murdoc mumbled. 2D didn't hear him.
Russel did. He turned to pin him with a warning glare. "Maybe it was you."
When the drummer placed his attention back on 2D, Murdoc's grin slid easily back into place. Well, I didn't croak up there, that's fer certain.
"Do you need some... new pills, 2D-kun?" Noodle asked, ignoring Murdoc alltogether.
He shook his head. "Naw, naw, naw, m'fine. Jus' need time to..."
He paused for a long while. The other three wondered if he'd even finish the thought at all.
Eventually, he did. "...adjust."
Murdoc snorted loudly. 2D twitched.
"D, man, somethin's obviously wrong, here," Russel said. "and y'know, we can help. We're your family, man. C'mon. Talk to us."
2D stared down at the can in his hands. "Family," he muttered. "Yeah." He chuckled, but it came out weak and emotionless. "...m'fine, Russ. Thanks, though."
Noodle and Russel exchanged concerned looks. Murdoc grabbed another doughnut and, still grinning, wordlessly left the kitchen.
2D was too busy popping the can open to notice.
(1) - TOTAL reference to something that happened on the forums back in... 2002, was it? 2D told Murdoc he was beautiful when he was sleeping. No lie.
(2) - "No, no, no."