Disclaimer:We don't own anything.
Author's Notes: A special thanks to Chris, Kitty, Jacks, Dagmar, and Ace for threatening us to get this finished. We also thank them for their suggestions. We apologize for taking such a long time to update, but we believe it was well worth it. We do not in any way condone smoking. We are simply using it for dramatic effect. Please Note that italics=internal thoughts.
Timeline:The Zeo era, shortly after Jason became the Gold Ranger. (Continuing the time line, this takes place on Monday. Two days after the last chapter).
The Youth Center was always quiet at seven in the morning. Not many teenagers got out of bed early to frequent the local hangout. Occasionally a few people would come in to use the weights, but usually the Juice Bar was empty. This morning, however, there was one table occupied. Ernie sighed as he looked over at the somber group. It was hard to see his favorite kids, usually so exuberant and full of life, reduced to this. He placed a pitcher of orange juice and six glasses on a tray and approached the silent table.
Rocky gave Ernie a small smile as he placed the juice on the table. "Thanks, Ernie."
"No problem." The large man wiped his hands on his apron. "How's Tommy doing?"
Adam shook his head and sighed. "No change. Dr. Oliver says if his fever doesn't break by tomorrow night she's checking him into the hospital."
Ernie nodded. "Any reason she hasn't yet? It's been a week."
"Tommy hates hospitals," Billy replied. "She thinks he'll recover faster if he's in an environment he's comfortable in."
"Makes sense." Ernie looked around at the teens depressed faces. "Tommy's a strong kid, he'll pull through."
Kat gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Ernie." The man nodded and walked back to the bar.
Rocky poured the juice and distributed the glasses. The rangers sat in silence for another ten minutes. Finally Tanya spoke up. "How did Dr. Oliver sound?"
"Worried. Exhausted." Adam sighed. "We didn't talk long last night. Basically she just told me their decision about the hospital."
"I hope it doesn't come to that," Billy said quietly.
The group lapsed into silence again, all of their thoughts with their weakening leader. Suddenly Adam slammed his hand down on the table, making them all jump. "Damn it!!"
Rocky put his arm around his distraught best friend. "We're all worried about him, Adam."
Adam pulled away, knocking the chair over in his frustration. "I've never felt so damn helpless! And Mondo's not making it any easier. He's having a field day with us being a ranger short." He walked to the wall and leaned his forehead against the cool surface, closing his eyes. "I just don't know what to do."
He hated not being able to be there for his best friend. He knew he had to respect the Oliver's request for distance, but it wasn't easy when all he wanted to do was storm in and beg for Tommy to wake up. He's saved our lives so many times, and now when he needs us most we're asked to leave him alone. This is killing us as much as it is him!
The rangers exchanged glances. They all felt the same way, Adam had just been the first to express it. Kat stood up and walked over to the green ranger. "Adam, you need to stop taking all of this onto your shoulders. We're a team, remember? This burden is ours to share."
Adam turned and looked at her, tears in his eyes. "I don't want to lose Tommy. I know it's a silly fear, but I can't help it. I feel like we're losing him."
"We're not losing him!" Kat said vehemently.
Adam pulled away. "Yes we are! It's been a week, Kat. He's not getting any better! He's wasting away, and from what? All of the time he's spent saving the world and we're going to lose him to the goddamn flu!"
Kat's normally serene blue eyes flashed with anger. "He's not…"
"Stop it!!" Tanya stood up. "We're not going to help Tommy by fighting!" She had tears in her eyes.
Rocky stood up and put his arm around her. "Tanya's right. This isn't helping Tommy."
"Helping Tommy? How the hell are we supposed to help him when we can't even see him?" Adam punched the wall. "God!"
Billy stood up and walked to Adam, putting a firm hand on the agitated teen's shoulder. "Adam, take a breath. We're all worried about Tommy, but we can't give up hope."
"I just…" Adam looked at Billy, blinking back tears. "I need Tommy back. I'm not a leader. I can't do his job the way he does."
"I think you're doing a great job," Kat said, her voice trembling. A tear ran down her face.
That tear put an end to Adam's rant. He immediately crossed to the pink ranger and pulled him into his arms. "God, Kat, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."
She buried her face in his chest. "I just want Tommy to be okay."
"He will be," Rocky said. "He has to be."
Jason watched all of this silently, lost in his own thoughts. You have to pull through this, Bro. Everyone is falling apart without you. This team needs you. He closed his eyes. I need you. Don't let our harsh words be the end of it. You have to give me a chance to talk to you and make it right.
Adam guided Kat back to the table. "I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to lose it like that."
Billy smiled. "Adam, you're allowed to "lose it" around us. We're your friends, that's what we're here for."
Adam nodded. I can't believe I blew up like that. I guess I'm more stressed than I realized. He took a few deep breaths, centering himself. I don't know what I'm so worried about. Tommy's too stubborn to let a stupid fever beat him.
"I don't know what we're so worried about. Tommy's too stubborn to let a fever beat him," Rocky said.
Adam looked at Rocky in surprise, not even bothering to hold back the chuckle that escaped him. The rest of the group looked at him, taken aback by the strange laughter.
"What are you laughing at?" Tanya asked.
"I was just thinking the exact same thing. Rocky, you must have read my mind."
"Now there's a scary thought," Billy said with a smile.
Rocky chuckled. "I think we're spending too much time together."
"I guess that's what happens when you spend so much time with each other. You adopt portions of each other's personalities." Kat said with a smile.
"And we all know the charming portion is mine," Rocky said with a grin.
Tanya hugged him, laughing. "That's why we love you, Rocky. You're a dreamer."
Adam looked around at the group. "You know what? There's no way that Tommy is gonna give in to this. Not when he's got such kick-ass friends to come back to."
"That's the way to think!" Rocky said.
Tanya looked over at the silent gold ranger. He had his eyes closed, and he looked to be in pain. Why won't Jason talk to us? It's obvious that Tommy's illness is affecting him just as much as the rest of us. She touched his shoulder gently. "You okay, Jase?"
Jason looked at her, his dark eyes troubled. "I'm okay. I just want him to get better. I can't think about much else."
"Neither can I. I know that I flunked my math test on Tuesday, and I don't think Kat and Adam did much better." The two in mention nodded their agreement. Tanya squeezed Jason's shoulder. "Just remember you can talk to us."
Jason nodded, giving her a small smile. He silently observed the group as the conversation turned to school. The offer was kind, but he didn't feel like he could talk to any of them, not even Billy. Is this how Tommy felt when he first joined the team? That he was walking in on territory that he wasn't really a part of? It's not like they don't make the attempt to include me, I just don't belong. Or maybe I just need Tommy to be the bridge… He sighed. God Tommy, I was so stupid to think that I could live my life without you. Please get better. He tuned out the conversation entirely, lost in concern for his best friend.
"Well, we should probably get to school. You know how Kaplan is about tardiness." Rocky said.
"Hey…" Kat nodded to the gold ranger, who was just staring at a distant point.
"You guys go. I'll stay and talk to Jason." Adam said. The other rangers nodded. Gathering their books, they left the table and walked out the door.
Adam snapped his fingers in front of his catatonic peer. "Earth to Jason."
Jason snapped out of his trance, shaking his head to pull himself back into the present. "Adam?" He looked at the vacated chairs in surprise. "Where did everyone go?"
"They left. You were a million miles away. I felt like we should talk."
"About what?" Jason asked. Is he concerned for me or is he trying to do Tommy's job? After all, he did replace me as Tommy's best friend. The worried teen took a deep breath. Stop it, Jason. Adam's a great guy, and a great friend. The best anyone could ask for. Tommy definitely lucked out. Then again, why shouldn't an amazing person like him be surrounded by equally amazing people?
Adam moved from his chair into the seat adjacent to Jason. "You have to talk to someone, Jason. You have to let out what's going on inside you, otherwise you are going to let the emotions build to such levels that you won't be able to control how they come out. I think you know what I'm talking about."
Jason grimaced. He was aware that Adam had caught the tail end of his and Tommy's argument. He knew that the green ranger was right, he couldn't let his emotions get out of control like that again. "It's not really the actual fight that's been preying on my mind. It's more of how we got to the point where the fight had to happen. How did we let everything escalate to such a high degree that yelling was needed to get our points across? How did this friendship blow up in my face?" He took a sip from the glass of orange juice in front of him and grimaced at the lukewarm liquid.
"There isn't anyone in this universe that can express how they feel all the time. Sometimes it takes an explosion to get everything out on the table. What really matters is how you handle the situation afterwards. That's what will make or break the friendship." Adam looked at Jason seriously. "I saw the tail end of your fight. I don't think the not talking and the holding back was prevalent for either of you. You were both keeping a lot of secrets for a very long time."
Jason sighed. "Yeah, we both tend to do that."
"And it's not always a bad habit. I'm not trying to place blame here. But in some instances when two people let that pattern develop it can lead to an explosion. Especially when the people mean as much to each other as you and Tommy do."
"I suppose you're right. I have kept things from Tommy. But there's a perfectly valid reason for that."
Adam had a strong theory of what that reason was, but he questioned Jason anyway. "What reason is that?"
"Tommy's got enough on his shoulders. He's saving the planet every day. He doesn't need to worry about my issues on top of that. I know the weight of being the Red Ranger, and I decided that should be Tommy's top priority."
"Don't you think Tommy had a right to be part of that decision? Friendship is a two-way street, Jason and one person can't be the sole controller. If you try to do that, it destroys the balance of the friendship." Adam placed a supportive hand on Jason's shoulder. "I think that's what happened with you and Tommy. You were both trying to take control of the friendship, and in doing that you both lost it. Then, instead of talking about it you both completely ignored it. All of this was fine when there was an ocean between the two of you. But once you were back in the same, it only took so long before you started to take it out on each other. From there it just blew up." Adam couldn't keep a smile off his face. Tommy and Jason are so alike it's scary. It's no wonder they developed such a strong friendship so quickly.
Jason raised an eyebrow at Adam's smile. "What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking that you and Tommy are too stubborn for your own good."
Jason smiled at that. "We are. It's gotten both of us into a lot of trouble."
Adam nodded. "Yeah, but it's not always a bad thing. Right now is a perfect example of that. I think that stubbornness is keeping him alive."
The reminder of Tommy's illness swept away all traces of the smile on Jason's face. His eyes dropped from Adam's face. "Do you think he's going to get better?"
Adam squeezed the Gold Ranger's shoulder reassuringly. "Of course he is. With our determination and his parent's watchful persistence how could he not? I know I kind of freaked earlier, but I'm sure he's going to be fine. We just have to wait. I know patience isn't any of our strong point, especially when it comes to the people we love, but we have no choice but to wait."
"I just feel so completely helpless. I feel like I should be there by his side. Then there's part of me that doesn't want to because I'm afraid my presence might make him worse." Jason ran his hand through his hair. "I just hate not knowing what to do."
Adam kept a reassuring hand on Jason's shoulder. "Jason, I'm sure your presence would only give him strength. But until the Olivers relent we have no choice. I feel just as helpless as you do."
Jason sat in silence for a long time, turning the situation over in his mind. I can't just sit here. I need to be there for Tommy. Something has been telling me that he needs me. I can sense it. He needs me there beside him, giving him strength. He stood up, surprising his companion. Damn it, I don't care what I have to do. I am going to be there for my best friend when he wakes up.
"Adam, I really appreciate the time you took to talk with me. You're a good friend, and Tommy's really lucky to have you."
Adam smiled. "Tommy is not the only one that has me. Anytime you need someone to talk to, feel free to come and find me."
"Thank you. I will." Jason grabbed his book bag. "Will you tell my teachers that I won't be in today?"
The Green Ranger nodded. "What are you going to do?"
Jason gave him a smile. "It's time I proved how stubborn I am. I'm going over to the Oliver's house, and I am not going to leave until they let me see Tommy."
Adam grinned. "Good for you, Jason. If anyone can help him it's you. Tell him that we're all thinking of him and praying for him."
Jason nodded. "Will do. I'll catch up with you later." Turning, he walked out of the Youth Center.
Adam stood there another moment, a small smile on his face. Then he shook his head with a sigh. "Well, I guess my work here is done. Time for me to get my butt to school." Waving to Ernie, he walked out.
*****
Jason stood on the front stoop of the Oliver's house. He wasn't quite sure what to do. Before he went to Switzerland he would always walk right into Tommy's house. After all, he had spent nearly as much time there as he had at his own. But that was a long time ago, and he wasn't certain if he had retained those privileges. I should probably knock.
Just as he lifted his fist to knock the door opened, revealing Tommy's mother. She looked at him in surprise. "Jason!"
"Hi Dr. Oliver," he said timidly. The next thing he knew he was folded in the woman's arms. Jason hugged her back tightly, a tiny smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.
She pulled away, wiping tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to fall apart on you. It's just been an emotional week."
Jason nodded, blinking back tears of his own. "I understand." He was in no way prepared for what the older woman did next. She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, placed one between her lips, and lit it. Jason stared at her for a moment, trying to decide the most tactful way to approach this. "I didn't know you smoked," he said carefully.
"I quit when we adopted Tommy. It's a disgusting habit." She inhaled, then blow a stream of smoke through her lips. "When Tommy wakes up, you never saw this." She gave him a meaningful look. "Like I said, it's been an emotional week."
They stood there in silence for a few moments. Jason was trying to comprehend the significance of Dr. Oliver's actions. Things had to be dire for such a health-conscious woman to resort to smoking cigarettes. "He's really bad, isn't he?"
Dr. Oliver stared at him for a few moments as if trying to analyze him. Finally she nodded. "I haven't been completely honest with Adam."
Jason met her eyes. "Thank you for being honest with me." His gaze drifted to the clear, blue sky above them. "Do you think he'll pull through?"
Dr. Oliver took another drag of her cigarette before answering. "I honestly don't know, honey. Tommy's never been this sick before. He's a strong boy, but this fever is burning all of his strength away. I can see him weakening by the minute." Her voice trembled slightly, and she took a deep breath.
Silence fell between them for a few minutes, then Jason turned to her. "I think you know that I didn't just come here to ask how he is."
"You want to see him," she sighed. "I don't know, Jason. It's not easy to see him like this. He looks half-dead, he's delirious – he's not our Tommy."
"Dr. Oliver, please. I think you know things haven't been that great between Tommy and I since I got back. I NEED to be there for him now."
She looked at him for a long time. Then she threw her cigarette down, grinding the butt beneath her heel. "He's asked for you."
Jason caught his breath. "He has? When?"
"Most of what he's been saying in his delirium is nonsense, but among the things we have made out is your name."
Jason looked at her with pleading eyes. "Please. Just let me sit with him. I just feel like he needs me there."
Dr. Oliver sighed. "You and Tommy with your puppy dog eyes. I can never say no to you." She put her arm around him. "All right, you can sit with him. Just promise me one thing."
"What's that?"
"You tell my baby that he needs to come back to me." This time she didn't try to hide the tremor in her voice. "You convince him to beat this."
Jason put his arm around her and squeezed slightly. "He will, Dr. Oliver." He has to.
*****
No amount of warning could've prepared Jason for the sight of his best friend. Tommy looked like a shadow of his usual, healthy self. His cheeks were sunken, there were dark bags under his eyes, and his skin was pale and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. His hair was spread across the pillow, looking stringy and greasy. His eyelids fluttered constantly, but never opened. Occasionally his lips moved, letting out an incoherent whisper.
Mr. Oliver sat by the bed, not looking much better than his son. He glanced at the visitor in surprise. "Jason!"
"Hi, Mr. Oliver."
The older man stood up and held out his hand. "I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but it's still Tom. Mr. Oliver is my father."
Jason smiled, grasping the outstretched hand. "Dr. Oliver said it was okay for me to sit with him for a while."
Mr. Oliver glanced down at his son. "Did she tell you that he's been saying your name?"
Jason nodded. "What else has he been saying?"
"It doesn't make much sense. Mostly it's "stop" or "no" – almost like he's under attack. And something about the color green?"
Jason felt his heart stop. Oh God, not again. He tried to keep his face impassable. "Anything else?"
"Well, there's one thing he keeps repeating. His mother and I don't know what to make of it. He keeps saying, 'I'm not you.'" He looked at Jason. "Any idea what that means?"
Jason took a deep breath, trying to slow his racing pulse. Now he was sure that this had something to do with Tommy's past struggles. He forced himself to shake his head, keeping his voice calm. "Just sounds like delirium to me." He walked over and touched Tommy's shoulder. "Tom, can I have some time alone with him?"
"Sure, Jason." Tom reached down and stroked his son's cheek. Then he smiled at Jason. "I'll be downstairs."
Jason waited for him to leave, then sat down in the chair next to Tommy's bed. He took the still boy's hand in his. "I'm here, Tommy."
His thoughts were rushing through his head. It makes sense. Tommy's weak, his defenses are down. Of course his worst fears would come back to haunt him. Unless… Tommy stirred, and Jason looked down at him. Could this be real? He shook his head. No. Tommy destroyed the Green Ranger. It has to just be nightmares. It has to be. But there was a knawing fear in his stomach that said otherwise.
He tightened his hand around Tommy's. "Talk to me, Bro. Tell me what's going on in that head of yours. Let me help you fight this thing.
There was no reply. Jason pulled the chair closer, determined not to miss anything. "I'm going to stay right here until you open your eyes. I'm not leaving your side until we work out this stupid fight. You are not dying on me, Tommy Oliver. I refuse to let you go. Not before I have the chance to tell you that I'm sorry."
Not until I have the chance to tell you that I love you.
*****
TBC: Not to worry all. Chapter 9 is in the works and we will get it up as soon as we can. Sorry for the cliffhanger, but you guys do it to us ^_^. Besides it makes the story better.