Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Saban/Disney. We have no rights of ownership to these characters. No profit of any kind was made in the writing of this story.
Authors' notes: Once again we'd like to thank everyone who has been reviewing and supporting us during the long and winding road of this story, especially through the time we've taken to process the surprises at every bend. Thanks also to you who are just joining us - please review and let us know what you think, your opinions mean a lot to us! We'll do our best to come out with the next chapter quickly, because we know we'll be dead if we don't! Heehee!
(Note from Destiny: An extra thank you to everyone for their patience at my inactivity during my relocation, especially my darling co-author Ivy. I don't know how you put up with me babe, but I'm glad that you do!)
Timeline: This takes place in Zeo, shortly after Jason returns as the Gold Ranger. This chapter occurs four days after Chapter 14.
Tommy let out a growl of frustration as he rolled over for what seemed like the hundredth time. He'd finally gotten some solitude, and he just wanted to go to sleep. Unfortunately, it wasn't his body position that was keeping him awake. It was the questions that weighed on his mind, and more importantly, his heart.
It had been four days since he first opened his eyes, and already he wanted to kill someone. His mother had ordered every conceivable test administered for proof that he would be fine. It wasn't that he didn't understand her reasons for all these tests, he knew very well how much his illness had scared her. However, enough was enough as far as Tommy was concerned. Over the last couple of days he had been poked and prodded more than he'd been in his entire life, and it was pushing him to the limits of complete frustration.
Oh, he knew he was getting special treatment. Between his mother's high position at the hospital and his new label as the "Miracle Boy" he was getting completely pampered by the hospital staff. He was constantly getting slipped extra deserts (if he never saw another bowl of Jell-o in his life it would be too soon) or fluffier pillows. Plus, his friends were pretty much allowed to visit with him at their leisure, unrestricted by visiting hours. But no matter how much royal treatment he received, Tommy was still yearning for freedom outside of the hospital world of starched sheets and white walls.
Of course, there were still mysteries to figure out, which did occupy some of his time. He was no closer to figuring out the Green Ranger's appearance, and he knew he wouldn't be able to get past it until he had some more details about his illness. He had tried to get some answers from his mother, but every time he probed her with questions she would get a really strange look on her face, almost as if she was on the verge of tears, and change the subject. His father was the same way, which was really strange for Tommy. He'd never seen the strong Thomas Oliver so emotional before. I wasn't that close to dying, was I? He sighed.How am I supposed to solve the mystery of my internal battle if I don't know anything about the external struggle it caused? I guess I'll just have to talk to someone else.
One complete relief was that he actually could talk to someone else. After two days of protest his vocal cords had started working again. At least now he could communicate without the stupid white board. The short time he had spent being mute had made Tommy swear never to take the ability to speak for granted again. Now all I need to do is get some time with the person I want to speak to.
Jason was the other source of aggravation that completely frustrated Tommy's already riled nerves. Not once did his best friend separate himself from the large group of people that visited the hospital each day. He was always the last one to enter the room and the first one to leave, making it impossible for Tommy to talk to him one on one. Not like he talks to me with anyone else around either.
That was the main annoyance. Not once since the day that Tommy awoke had Jason spoken to him. Oh sure, he'd contribute to the conversation, but his comments were always directed to Zack, Billy or one of the other rangers. The rest of the time he just sat at the back of the room, staring at Tommy. Occasionally a smile would grace his lips, which was even more maddening. The Red Zeo Ranger found himself caught between wanting to hug his best friend and wanting to throttle him. Although the latter is sounding better every day.
Tommy could feel his emotions spiraling out of control. He knew the only way that he could slow down the emotional roller coaster was to actually sit Jason down at talk with him, but the Gold Ranger never gave him the chance. The one thing that Tommy knew for certain was that Jason was the single most important person in his life and he never wanted to lose him. Which was exactly what he felt was happening with Jason's aloof behavior.
Tommy finally decided to abandon his futile efforts to sleep. Against the advice of his many doctors he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He knew his mother would kill him if she saw him out of bed. According to the hospital staff he shouldn't be walking around on his own until after he started physical therapy, but he felt fine. Actually, he was quite surprised at how good he felt considering the circumstances. It wasn't like he could run a marathon or anything, but he wished his mother would have a little more confidence in him. He was the "Miracle Boy," after all. He had survived an illness that should have killed him, and woken up from a coma that should have left him a vegetable for the rest of his life. He had shown everyone that he was much stronger than the normal person, but that made no difference in keeping his pestering mother at bay. "Stupid hospital," he whispered.
He moved across the room to the window and leaned his forehead against the cool glass. It was a full moon, and the silvery light gave Angel Grove an air of peaceful serenity. Tommy took a calming breath, letting the illuminating effect soothe the battle between his heart and mind. Why am I finding this so hard to figure out? I just want to know for once and for all where my heart stands!
Currently his heart felt empty. He needed Jason now more than ever, but it seemed that Jason preferred to stay just out of reach. I just don't get it! He was so happy to see me awake! He said that everything was okay between us. But if all that happened is forgiven, shouldn't we be best friends again? Why is he avoiding me? His actions over the last week are proof that not all has been forgotten...
That was another thing that confused the hell out of Tommy. Jason's actions were completely contradictory. His mother had said that Jason had been a mess while he was in the coma. More than one nurse had commented to him about the boy that never left his side. Yet now that he was awake, Jason showed no interest in working on the relationship between them. Tommy could feel Jason slipping away, and if he didn't do something soon that friendship would be lost.
Groaning the Red Zeo Ranger moved back to his bed before he fell asleep standing up. Oh, that would be great. Mom walks in with breakfast and finds me asleep leaning against the window. I'm sure she'd be just thrilled at that, and I've put her through enough already.
He slipped under the cool sheets, his mind returning to the subject of his feelings for Jason. Am I really all that confused? Or is it that I'm just too afraid to face the truth? Do I already know the truth?
He ran a frustrated hand through his long locks of hair as he admitted the answer to himself. The truth was staring him in the face, imprinting itself onto his heart. But if he allowed himself to accept that truth, where would it put him? It wasn't like Jason would ever feel the same way, and it would leave Tommy with an even bigger loss than he had to deal with now. Acknowledging his love would only hurt him in the end. However, he also knew that he couldn't hide from it forever.
"Damn it!" He put his hands over his ears, as if he was trying to shut out the voice that recognized his true feelings. But he couldn't shut out the voice coming from his heart. Great, Tommy. You just admitted it. You're in love with your best friend and he is never going to feel the same way back. You just put yourself in the worst position you could be in - desiring something that you can never have.
There was no way to hide anymore. The realization sunk in fully. He was in love with Jason Lee Scott. Even though he knew that nothing would ever come of it, in a way he felt revived. He had finally accepted the truth. Now he could hold that in his heart and try to find contentment in the best friendship already acquired. Hopefully once again he'll take his place as my brother...
Tommy tried to ignore the hurt flowing through his heart. It was something he'd have to get used to, and he knew that. He could never turn off his love, but he could convert it into a strong, brotherly relationship. "You can't go back," he mumbled into the darkness. His eyes started to close on their own accord, and he finally succumbed to the exhaustion of the day. He slipped into sleep with a smile, dreams of Jason dancing in his head.
The next morning his mother came into the room and set down a tray quite loudly, jolting Tommy awake. "Morning sleepyhead! It's time for breakfast and then you're off to physical therapy."
Tommy glanced at the unappetizing tray. The eggs were runny, the bacon was black and the oatmeal looked like paste. He threw his mother a disgusted look, and she laughed. "Come on, baby, it's not that bad!"
Picking up the plastic fork he shoveled the distasteful meal down his throat. His stomach gave a grumble of protest, resulting in a loud burp. "Honestly, Mom, how you people can even call this sustenance is beyond me. They must give all the good stuff to the staff, because this is the nastiest food I've ever eaten. And I've had Adam's cooking, so that's saying a lot." He tried to quiet his objecting stomach with a sip of coffee, and grimaced as the acidic liquid burned his throat. "This food will be the thing that kills me, I just know it."
A strange expression crossed his mother's face, but it was gone in a second. There it goes again. What is that about? Before he could ask her, there was a knock on the door and the biggest man Tommy had ever seen walked through the door. He could have easily been a linebacker, and looked as if he should be wearing a helmet and pads instead of nurse's scrubs. At second glance Tommy noticed he was pushing a wheelchair. "Your chariot is here," the man announced, with a big smile on his face.
Tommy rolled his eyes. My chariot? Please. But for his mother's sake he plastered a smile on his face.
Jan seemed grateful for the intrusion, and she walked over and shook the man's hand. "Tommy, this is Kevin. Kevin, this is my son Tommy."
"Nice to meet you, Tommy. I hear you're quite the miracle kid!"
Yeah, cause I haven't heard that a million times. But Tommy just shook the man's hand. "Nice to meet you, too."
"Ready to go for a ride?" Kevin asked with a grin. "I promise I won't drop you!"
"Kevin is going to be helping out the physical therapist and make sure all your joints and muscles are working correctly," Jan explained.
"Can't walk until you crawl, that's what I always say!" Kevin interjected cheerfully.
Tommy sighed internally. Great, just what I need. Someone perpetually cheerful. I wonder if his cheeks hurt from smiling like that all the time? He started to rise from his bed, and his mother and Kevin quickly moved to support him. I'm not an invalid! he screamed in his head, but didn't say a word. No sense in getting the monster unhappy. Then I may never get out of here. Hopefully if I appease Mom and do what I'm told I'll be rewarded with escape and freedom.
"All set?" Kevin asked, making sure Tommy's feet were supported. "Great! Get ready for the ride of your life!" He looked over at Jan. "No worries, Dr. O! He's in good hands!"
As Tommy was wheeled down the hall he began to think that maybe he wouldn't last long enough for the food to kill him. The optimism was going to kill him first. If I don't kill one of them!
"Time for a little lift," Kevin said as they moved into the elevator. "Hope you're ready for a pick-me-up!" He chuckled at his own joke, and Tommy closed his eyes.
This is going to be a really long morning.
Tommy's salvation came that afternoon in the form of his friends. He smiled his first real smile of the day as they walked into the room. "Man it's good to see you guys!"
"Rough day?" Rocky asked with a sympathetic smile.
"You have no idea."
Adam, Rocky and Kat settled themselves in chairs on the left side of the bed. Zack, Tommy and Billy pushed themselves onto the empty bed on the right. Jason sat on the windowsill, the farthest seat away from Tommy. Tommy felt a flash of annoyance run through him. Gee, Jase, if you don't want to be near me, why are you even bothering to come and visit?
Adam thankfully interrupted his thoughts. "I brought a book for you to read to keep your mind off being in the hospital. I hope you like Tom Clancy."
Tommy accepted the book and placed it on his side table. "Thanks, Adam. I appreciate anything that can help me forget where I'm located. Of course, if it's a murder mystery or a thriller it just might give me some ideas on how to escape my prison." He gave his friends the most evil smile he could manage.
Kat laughed. "Uh-oh, I know that smile. You're planning on taking out the entire staff, aren't you? I bet at this point you're just about ready to get rid of your mother so you could be free."
"Just about? I'm past ready. I swear I'm gonna kill someone before I get out of this hell hole." He related the events of the morning to the group; happy to laugh with his friends over something that seemed so annoying a few hours ago.
But even as he laughed and joked with his friends his attention was straying to the Gold Ranger seated on the windowsill. Jason had a smile on his face, but seemed completely oblivious to Tommy's probing glances. Fine Jason, have it your way. I'll just talk to the others and completely ignore your presence as you're doing to me. He turned his presence back to the others, who were still joking about his evil escape plan.
"You can be like the Terminator," Rocky said. "Anyone who gets in your way gets blown up!"
Tanya groaned. "Only you, Rocky. Only you could turn Tommy into Arnold Schwarzenegger."
"What?" Rocky said innocently. "He's cool!" He dropped into an overdramatic accent. "I'll be back!" As a result he got pelted with balled up tissues.
Tommy laughed. "So who else brought presents?"
"Well since you've been so good, Santa brought a treat!" With a flourish Rocky pulled out a foil-covered plate and placed it in front of Tommy with a fork. As he peeled off the foil a mouth-watering aroma filled the room.
"You brought me lasagna?" Tommy sat up. "Rocky, I love you!" He took a bite and let the tantalizing taste linger on his tongue. "God, after being tortured with hospital food this is heaven!" He quickly stuffed his mouth again. "I swear I would marry you just to have you cook for me for the rest of my life!"
Rocky grinned. "I do what I can."
Tanya giggled suddenly, and the group looked at her. "What's so funny?" Adam asked.
She laughed again. "I'm just picturing the wedding of Santa and the Terminator." At the mental image the group cracked up, the laughter lasting several minutes.
Tommy noticed out of the corner of his eye that Jason was grinning in his direction. When his eyes met Tommy's his grin widened, and he winked. Well at least I know he isn't playing the indifferent game anymore. God, I just want to punch him! He took a calming breath. Okay Tommy, it's quite obvious that somehow you fucked up. But how the hell am I supposed to fix it if he won't even talk to me? Even amidst the gaiety of his friends Tommy felt a sharp pain shoot through his heart. He worked very hard to keep a smile on his face. Must keep the mask on. I can't let them know that this is killing me. Hell, I just admitted that I was in love with him; it's probably going to be awkward for a while. With much effort he turned his attention back to the conversation.
Zack pulled a magazine out of his backpack, and a glance at the cover caused Billy to let out a choked laugh. "Jesus, Zack! Are you trying to give Tommy a heart attack?" He grabbed the magazine and showed the cover to the group.
Tommy couldn't help but laugh, even as his hands broke into a sweat. "Very funny, Zack. Playgirl?" Inside his heart was pumping a mile a minute. Does Zack know? Does he even have an inkling as to what I'm feeling for Jason? No, he couldn't...could he?
Zack shrugged. "It always makes me feel better. I was trying to share the love." He grinned evilly. "If you don't want it I'd be happy to take it off your hands."
Tommy gave him the most nonchalant smile he could manage. Calm down, you're only making things worse for yourself. He handed the magazine back to Zack. You just need to stop thinking about Jason right now.
Another glance at the object of his affection showed Jason to be once again avoiding his eyes. God, Jase, I could just hit you! Or how about I just kick you really hard? I may be weak, but I'm not an invalid. I'll just kick your ass, how would that feel? It would sure as hell make me feel better.
"Well, I brought some real entertainment," Kat said, holding up a VHS tape. "For some high flying fun."
"All right, 'Top Gun!' One of my favorite movies of all time!" Rocky said exuberantly. "I feel the need..."
Adam joined in with a grin. "The need for speed!"
"Awesome, Kat." Tommy smiled. "All we get here is public television, and there's never anything good on."
"Well I thought you guys could enjoy the action and Tanya and I could enjoy Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer," she replied with a laugh.
The rest of the afternoon flew by as they laughed and joked throughout the movie. Whenever possible Tommy would sneak glances at Jason, but the Gold Ranger never took his eyes off the screen. By the end of the movie Tommy was just dying for something to punch. This has got to be one of this most agonizing, aggravating and annoying days of my life. He looked over at Zack. I really need to talk to someone, and Zack is the best person I can think of. Hopefully talking to his other best friend won't signal to Jase that we're talking about him.
Around 6:00 his friends started to gather their things. "Sorry we have to go, Tommy, but dinner calls," Rocky explained.
Tommy laughed. "Don't worry, Rock. I wouldn't ask you to give up a good meal, even for me."
"Are you kidding?" Adam said with a grin. "You couldn't make Rocky give up a meal. I think he'd trade me in for food, and I've been his best friend since we were 2!"
"Well a man needs to eat!" Rocky protested, soliciting laughter from the rest of the group.
Kat leaned over and kissed Tommy on the cheek. "Take care of yourself. We'll see you tomorrow."
Adam, Rocky, Tanya and Billy all gave him hugs. From Jason he got a handshake and a, "Get well soon, Bro." After that it seemed that Jason couldn't get out of the room fast enough. Tommy closed his eyes, holding back a scream of frustration.
Conveniently enough Zack was the last to say his goodbyes. The former Black Ranger gave Tommy a huge hug before he turned to leave. Tommy halted his friend with a hand on his arm. "Zack, could you stay a bit by any chance? I really need to talk to you."
"Sure, Tommy." Zack sat down again and looked at Tommy with probing eyes. "What's up?"