Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21
Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!
Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a slash story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.
Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!
Rating: NC-17 (very graphic/under age sex) - this chapter is more
R then NC-17.
Sorry it took so long to post, things have been crazy lately.
I hope chapter 6 won't take this long!
I also wish to take this opportunity to thank my wonderful beta bex, for her amazing patience and helpful advice that made it possible for me to continue this story. She betaed chapters 1 and 2. Unfortunately she will not be able to beta any other chapters for me, and I am now in search of a new beta, anyone who is interested, please let me know in the review box.
Chapter 5 - Sex, Lies And Dirty Photos
~ Sirius' p.o.v~
Am I heart broken? Or just disillusioned? I know not.
In the week I had been away in York with Odin, I had spent most of my time thinking about me and Cameron, our strange relationship.
Had you come to me last week I would have said that I'm in love, completely, but, had you asked me this question again today, I'd have to say I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it, I just assumed that my sleeping with him meant more then just sex.
It all began upon my return, I went to see him, I had an uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach, as though a heavy weight had settled deep within.
I could not sleep at all that night, my mind plagued with nightmares, as it was often the case, though my nightmares had never appeared on my nights away from Hogwarts.
If you asked me now, what had terrified me so, I could not answer you, for my mind had gone blissfully blank, as it often did upon my awakening.
Here I was in front of that door again, shards of excitement still linger in my heart, even though I know I am not in love, or am I? I cannot say.
I knock.
The sound so thunderous in the silence around me; I feel my heart long for something I fail to name. I wish to feast my eyes upon that mahogany railing again, my hands gently caressing it, all the way to Cameron's bedroom, to where that magnificent king sized bed awaits me.
What had I come here for? The same question I had asked myself over a month ago.
The door opens, Cameron is there. Now every stupid word of denial rings untrue in my mind. I must be in love. Why? Because he is as beautiful in my eyes as he seemed only 8 days ago, before I had gone to York.
I glance into his brown eyes, something is different, he no longer smiles at me, his eyes seem almost dull in color, his skin a shade lighter then I remember.
Before my eyes his stare becomes penetrating, angry, almost accusing? Can it be? I must be imagining.
"Hello Sirius, I'm afraid you've come in a bad time" he spoke, his voice no longer warm, or arousing, merely mocking.
There was an unmistakable threatening quality in his words, his body language, he knew. How? I cannot say.
I walked in, he stepped back, the door slammed behind me of its own accord, leaving me locked in with Cameron, an angry Cameron.
"How was York? Did you enjoy it? I bet they had a lot to offer a 14 year old, don't you agree?" he glanced up at me then, a bitter smile on his full lips, stretching them, almost painfully making his smile seem almost twisted, the plastic smile of a doll, his gaze hardening when his eyes finally meet my own shocked face. He knows.
I couldn't speak, not a word, my mouth fell open, but I couldn't utter a sound to save my life, all I could do was gap at him.
"I see you won't even deny it, that's good, it will save me the trouble of arguing with you. I don't care, why you did what you did, I just want you to know that it's over. It was never meant to be more then a one nighter."
I tried to speak, to tell him, it's not true, we do have something good between us, nobody would know, we could go on as we have before, I , I don't want this to end, it can't end. My mind was shouting miserably in my head, my eyes welling up with salty tears, but I won't cry, not here, not in front of Cameron.
"What I'm trying to say Sirius is that, it was good, it was meaningless and it's over. I'm sure you can now pass your considerable "knowledge" on to others, my patience and interest in you has faded. Don't feel bad, you served your purpose, we had a good time, but that's all it was, I wanted you, I took you, and that was it. Now I'm afraid I have some company, so would you mind seeing yourself out?"
I looked at Cameron again, only now realizing that he wore nothing but a pair of white underpants that hugged his frame almost wantonly.
And then I heard a voice, a man's voice.
"Cameron, are you coming back up, love?" purred that voice, a very potent trace of lust, intertwined with the some-what innocent words. This voice did not belong to a mere friend, this was a lover's tone, I could recognize that same warmth my own voice had expressed a mere 8 days ago.
I couldn't stay, I didn't want to see him, if I didn't see him, then it's not real, it hadn't happen or so I attempted to convince myself, but the truth is never as elusive as we hope.
My heart was breaking, was it? I don't know all I felt was pain; I could not even define its location. I had to get out of here, but I couldn't move, couldn't speak, was it all meaningless? No! It couldn't be, we bonded, there was more to it then sex, we were more to each other then sex.
So I left, the door shut behind me with a soft click, I walked down the corridor aimlessly searching for reasons not to leave, to stay, before something had caught my attention on the wall two feet's away from the door leading outside there was a mirror it was dusty and broken, but I could still glimpse at my reflection, how appropriate that I should look upon this mirror and see not but my own contorted image, my heart lying bare for all to see, the tears still forced back under my lids, not a drop spilled, not a drop will I spill.
I lifted my hand, softly caressing my cheek, the skin so soft and smooth to the rough pads of my finger tips, it wasn't real.
My hand caressed my red lips, fingers gently tracing their poutingly full shape, the surface like silk, not real.
My hand caressed my nose, from it's junction with my forehead over the bridge towards my nostrils, my skin felt cold, chilly, it wasn't real.
Finally I looked up and met my eyes again, for a brief second, it was real, what I saw there I cannot say, it was not beautiful, nor was it ugly, or perhaps it was both, but it was real.
My hand clenched into a fist and without thought I rammed my fist through that broken mirror, the cracked shards that still remain glued to the mirror, broke under the force of my fist, their sharp ends cutting through the callous skin of my fingers, the rest fell to the floor, making a tinkling sound, like the sound of wind chimes brushed by a chilly draft.
I felt the pain then, I raised my hand to check the damage, I could see naught but blood, its color so crimson, its texture so thick, the pain was real, the blood was real, and what happened in Cameron's apartment was also real.
And I left.
~ James' p.o.v ~
The nightmare is finally over! Thank god! No more preppy cocktail parties, where I had to be well-dressed well-mannered and courteous.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm finally home, meaning I'm back to cause trouble in Scranton, the small muggle village where I live.
It was 9am and I was up eating my breakfast to the awful sounds of my parents being all "lovey dovey" with each other, I guess them going on a second honeymoon and leaving me stranded at my aunt and uncle has done wonders for their marriage.
"Mom, dad will you quit it already, I'm going to Diagon Ally to get my things today, I need you to give me some wizard money, if you can ever get your tongues out of each others mouths that is."
"James Montgomery Potter, how dare you say such things to your father, really I ought to just…." I flinched at the use of my full name.
My mother began her long tirade, I looked at my father, he was smiling at me looking amused, he waggled his eyebrows at me, forcing my some what contained smile to burst forth.
"Philip I can see you back there, will you
take anything seriously? Honestly if you started reprimanding James, once in a
while, we might not be getting so many owls from Hogwarts about his foolish
behavior and atrocious pranks, I have a case full of these letters, and he still
has at least 3 more years, I don't know what we will do…"
I looked up to my father's eyes, it always amazed me how he could be so amused
over everything, even my mother's long diatribe, which as you can see he always
manages to draw away from me.
My father, Philip Harold Potter the 3rd (a family tradition my father decided will end upon my birth), is the most wonderful father in the world, and that's not an exaggeration. He taught me all about pranks and every free day he had was spent trailing through Scranton's forests, playing games and riding our brooms, high enough to see the top of the tall trees, but low enough to not be detected by a muggle's eye.
My father's infectious smile and warm personality had won over my serious and studious mother when they were only 16 years old attending their 6th year in Hogwarts, they were both proud Gryffindors.
My father looked into my mother's beautiful sapphire eyes, smiling at her softly, disarmingly, as expected my mother's strict voice mellowed, her scowl became a smile, first just a tilt of her lips, then a smile, then finally her even white teeth sparkled in the morning sun.
The enemy was neutralized.
9:30 am, I flewed into the "Leaky Cauldron", I took a sit near the door waiting for my three friends to appear, I missed them all so much, especially since it was the first summer, I had spent without them sleeping over at my place, well all but Remus, his parents wouldn't let him, he was also out of the country every summer, his parents were dragging him across the continent and beyond in search of a cure.
Why you ask? Because Remus is a werewolf, has been since he was 5 years old.
Remus' secret was revealed to me and Sirius during our first year, we noticed he kept disappearing every month, and always returning looking pale and sick, he always had an excuse, but after a while of listening to these excuses even the truth could no longer ring true in our ears.
As for Peter, well Peter was just… Peter, oblivious and a bit strange, his shyness making it impossible for him to befriend others, which is why I believe he clung to me and Sirius, and of course to Remmy, well, as I was saying, Sirius and I were more perceptive then Peter, we started marking the nights he disappeared, following him, as well as reading up in the library about all sorts of phenomenon and we found nothing until…
It was a week before the end of the year, we were all going home, we talked about our plans for the vacation, pranks and family reunions (how awful!), on the way to our Defense Against The Dark Arts, in shorts DADA class, we sat down in our regular seat, at the back of the class, Sirius next to me, in front of us Peter and Remus. The class began as always, we opened our books and listened to the endless rambling of the Professor, until, Bernard McDougal an annoyingly smug Ravenclaw first year, raised his hand, and began lecturing the entire class as well as Professor Pamperbean, our somewhat inept and dazed DADA teacher, on the more in-depth description of the moon's effect on Dark Creatures, smug little bastard.
And that was when it hit me, a WEREWOLF, how could I miss this? I looked at Sirius; he wore the same enlightened expression, we both agreed wordlessly to discuss this further after class, only 20 more minutes to go.
We spent the last few days till the end of the school year researching in the library, telling Remus and Peter we were working on a prank for the last day of the year (they both never took part of the actual research, Remus would help ground our ideas and think of ways to either improve our plan or how to execute the plan, Peter just did as he was told, no matter how hard I tried to draw him in, to make him feel more a part of us).
The night before we were all leaving for the holiday, we confronted Remus; Peter standing bewildered by my side, me and Sirius had both agreed to support Remmy, why? Because how could we not? I had known Remus nearly 9 months by then, and I could not imagine not being friends with him. He always possessed this air of mystery and a touch of fear in him; this was the cause of his fear, this secret. There will be no more secrets between us.
Remus cried his body curled so tightly, raking with uncontrolled trembles and fears, I could not watch his pain; I suspected that he was crying more for his past pain filled days, and for what he feared he was losing yet again then for his own cursed existence, as he would call it.
I looked at Sirius who stood by my side and we both nodded wordlessly at each other and hugged Remmy.
"We are marauders, Rem, and we stick together!" I told him, my voice somewhat shaky, I was afraid he would reject us, how foolish of me.
No more words were ever said that night.
Ever have the feeling that time passes so slowly that when you look back on it, it had passed way too quickly? I do, I can't believe I'm starting my fifth year at Hogwarts. Most importantly, I can't believe that after 3 years of meeting in Diagon ally my friends are still late.
I sipped my chilled pumpkin juice, when the door to the "Leaky Cauldron" burst open, and I heard the sound of 3 pairs of feet rushing inside. I turned my head expectantly to meet my friends' apologetic gaze, nodded wordlessly and all was forgiven.
How wonderful they all looked to my eyes. We stared at each other for a mere few seconds wordlessly, all sounds were muted in my ears, all but this feeling of completeness that washed over me, my skin prickling from awareness, it seemed as though we were bonded in some strange way.
We rushed towards each other, hugging tightly, my left hand in Siri's beautiful black blue cascade of luscious curls, my right hand on Remy's left shoulder, and Pete was between us all, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. We broke apart quickly, gazing around sheepishly, making sure our little indiscretion went unnoticed by the "Leaky Cauldron's" occupants, then we patted each others back in a more "Manly" fashion.
The day passed way too quickly for me, I didn't want it to end, this was faith, the four of us were meant to find each other and become the marauders, and I believe in that wholeheartedly.
The most expected yet surprising thing had become apparent to me as soon as I set my eyes on Sirius, my beautiful faithful friend, Sirius.
He had grown even more beautiful, as was expected, but the surprising thing was this sudden awareness he had developed for himself, he knew he was beautiful, sexy, desirable, he was showing it now, like a beacon in the night, drawing helpless victims to his exquisite light. How morbid of me.
I knew then that what he wrote and told me about Cameron, his new love interest had been true, he wasn't joking, he had slept with that guy, suddenly I felt incredibly jealous, which I knew I shouldn't, but the thought that this man knew a part of Sirius that I may never know was disturbing me greatly.
Sirius had grown taller, his shoulders had widened and his chest had become firm, all signs of being an awkward teen not apparent, how I envied him, my frame boney and awkward compared to his impressive built.
My breath was caught in my chest when I looked up into his deep purple eyes, a shadow of fleeting anguish passed in their beautiful depths, nearly unnoticed by others, but to me it was very obvious, Sirius was hurt, and I had a feeling it had something to do with Cameron. I resolved myself to confront him about it later, when we were alone again, he met my gaze with a thankful expression, he wanted to talk, just the two of us, as we always did.
~Peter's p.o.v~
The sun had not yet risen from its velvety folds of the early morning hours, I looked through my bedroom window at the enfolding scenery, its grandness, its simplicity, nothing ever seems more simple or perfect then watching the sun rise carefully as if from thin air, in mere minutes. No expectations or limitations just complete freedom.
The day began as it always did on September 1st, in a mad dash to the shower, breakfast, last minute packing while the melodic yet slightly aggravating tone of my mother's voice raised in reprimand at my usual lateness.
"Leave the boy alone" my father would say as he always did a smile with its usual bit of sadness at my departure still apparent on his face. I'm an only child so my leaving for Hogwarts for a whole year is always hard for them.
In mere minutes we are in front of the family's fireplace, my father takes out the flew powder and tosses it into the glowering flames, licking menacingly at the sleeve of his muggle worn out t-shirt.
We arrive quickly to our destination "The Leaky Cauldron". We rush swiftly to king's cross, just in time for me to say my good-byes. To kiss my mothers cheek promising to write, her tears spilling over healthy red cheeks, flushed from the cold wind that touched our skin on the way to the station.
Then I hugged my father lovingly, his arms tightening for a mere second, as if he had given in to the urge to force me to stay, but then the grip is broken.
I board the train, my gaze locked on the image of my parents, how captivating they seem right at this moment.
My mother with her long blonde hair, tied severely and elegantly, her noble posture somewhat slumped, her blue eyes filled with tears, make her seem a strange contradiction to my childhood memories of sun filled days, warm smiles and delicious smells of my mother's home cooked meals.
Beside my mother stood my proud and delightful father, his hair thinning increasingly as the years pass, his deep brown eyes, laughing pools of warm chocolate, his grasp warm and comforting, hard to believe he is an Auror, but he is. He has caught many wizards alleged to practice the dark arts.
Their image slowly disappears from my eyes, as the train leaves the station; I finally look away and go in search of my friends.
"You are so wrong Remmy, he would never do that!" I hear Sirius' sensual voice, float towards me from the closed door of our cabin.
I open the cabin door slowly. There they are before my eyes, my 3 faithful friends. How I envy them their closeness, I know that they all keep in touch with each other, especially James and Sirius. Sometimes it seems as though they can actually read each others minds, I want that, this incredible feeling of completeness they share so deeply, with all of us, but mostly with each other.
I'm pounced on the minute I walk in, by our beloved James, enthusiastic, loving and heroic James, how I adore him. How I adore them all, Sirius with his clever mind and street wise intelligence, his beauty and charm that got us out of trouble more times then I can count, with his arrogance and combined enthralled innocence. He bewitches all who look upon him, but he is too gentle and unsure sometimes that he doesn't even know how powerful his presence is, how inspiring.
James and Sirius are so brilliant, I admit sadly to myself every night that I will never compare, yet I'm grateful they still try, they still care, how can I help but worship them?
Remus, wonderfully deep Remus with his studious and somewhat stoic nature, a boy with the heart of a wolf, I cant help but be amazed at his grasp of logic, that has surely abandoned us all, but him.
Remus, whose beautiful hazel eyes, with their somber expression, hold a tight leash over his barely, controlled emotions, how brave you seem to me my dear friend.
The ride passed too quickly when we all sat together. Sirius and James attached at the hip as usual (though with a new closeness I had not sensed in them before) completing each other's sentences. Remus laughing in his unique carefree way, his eyes a shade lighter, nearly yellow, as though the wolf himself had enjoyed our foolish summer tales.
The train comes to a stop at Hogsmead station. Another school year has begun.
~Remus' p.o.v~
I'm going insane, why you ask? Because of him, of whom you ask?
Sirius. Damn, horrible, arrogant, rotten, beautiful Sirius.
I had fallen. I had fallen for Sirius over 7 months, 4 days and 12 hours ago.
It was the day after the full moon; I was in the hospital wing recovering, when Sirius walked in, surprisingly without James in-tow, he strode towards my bed with his sensuous stride, hips swaying in an unconscious manner, his long legs moving effortlessly yet powerfully.
He reached my bed and then he smiled at me, his smile child-like and innocent, while he produced from behind his back a plate with sausages, pancakes and eggs and presented them to me, his eyes had never sparkled so brightly, and he chewed on his full lower lip, as he usually did when he was thinking or nervous. I had never felt such a stirring in my blood as I did right then, the need to lean towards him and suck that abused lower lip into my mouth and caress it with my tongue, lavish it, nibble on it almost too powerful to resist. A thought had suddenly accrued to me how would it feel to kiss Sirius? To caress his smooth skin? To press heated kisses to the soft skin of his elegant neck? What am I thinking about? My god! My face became flushed and I thanked him hurriedly, before I lowered my head to my plate and dug in, in hopes of hiding my flushed face from his view. Sirius was none the wiser to my strange behavior.
So why did I fall, you might ask? It's not as though he had never brought me food when I was in the hospital wing; it was more the way he seemed to me at that precise moment. Ever had that moment, one second of clarity? Well I had that one moment and what it revealed to me at that second was how I love Sirius, in a completely non-platonic way.
What a depressing thought.
"You can't just expect him to love you because you had sex, Sirius" declared James exasperatedly. He and Sirius had gone off to talk alone as they always had; only my hearing had become sharper in these last two days till the full moon. I tried not to listen to them, but I could not control myself.
I knew Sirius had slept with a man, he wrote me about it, I remember the pain I had felt that day, the gut wrenching pain, that tightened all the muscles in my stomach, as though it could squeeze the life out of me slowly and steadily, with no respite, the letter fluttering to the floor from my open palm.
So naturally hearing that Sirius might be in love with this man hurt twice as much as the first time.
"I don't know what I feel anymore James! I'd like to tell you I should have listened to you about "him" but that would be lying, and we don't lie to each other, do we?"
James must have nodded, since I could hear Sirius' sure voice continue.
"I don't regret what I did with "him", I regret lying to "him" or maybe I don't, hell, I don't know! Jamie, tell me what should I do?"
he sounded so heartbroken and sad right then, I wanted to put my arms around him, run my fingers through his luscious curls soothingly rubbing his back, feel his arms wrap around me as he takes comfort from my warmth, and then he will raise his proud head and press those cherry red lips to mine…NO.. I will not think about this right now!
Things have become steadily worse these passed few weeks, Sirius had started sleeping with 6th and 7th year boys, and was slowly making himself a reputation of being a very desirable lad.
It all begun in a seemingly innocent fashion…
We were sitting down for lunch in the great hall, when a Ravenclaw 6th year by the name of Matthew Beaker approached us he was as tall as our Siri, and handsome in a 3rd year girls fancying way. He had short brown hair and brown eyes; he was quite built, from playing Quidditch for 5 years as the Ravenclaw chaser.
He greeted all of us, but his eyes were trained on Sirius. They gleamed with an emotion I recognized instantly He was lusting after Sirius, My Sirius!
I could feel the wolf inside of me stir with rage and jealousy, which only increased as I watched him flirt with Sirius, and Siri flirting back shamelessly.
My hands were shaking, my nostrils flaring, I think if you looked closer you could see the wolf come alive, wearing my skin, my expression, how grotesque.
"Excuse me, I forgot something in my dorm" I said hastily and got up to leave the table before the wolf in me will take complete control. If Sirius ever knew how close the wolf is to the surface he would be terrified of me, and that I cannot bear to witness.
"Wait Rem, I'll come with you" said James, getting to his feet swiftly in his elegant manner, befitting his title as "The Best Chaser" Hogwarts has ever seen.
"Me too" followed equally swiftly by Pete, who could not bear separation from his idol, James.
"Meet you in Divination, ok Siri?" queried Jamie softly.
We left, walking away at regular speed, none of us talking.
Imprinted in my mind for eternity is the image of Sirius and Matthew sitting together in our table flirting, Sirius' long, elegant fingers rubbing on Matthew's palm in a circular motion, his full lips curled in a sensual smile, a "come hither" look on his beautiful face, while Matthew gaps at him like a fish out of water.
~James' p.o.v~
A mistake you should never, ever make is to go looking for your missing best friend, when you can clearly hear from a fair distance that he is currently indisposed.
That is a mistake I will never repeat, the sight that has greeted me might just cause a permanent hard-on for said nosey best friend, meaning me.
I had skipped divination, when I had noticed that Sirius had not arrived to class, so I went searching for him in our secret places, when that didn't work, I went to check the notorious snogging hide-outs, don't ask me why I went there I just had a feeling siri might do something stupid, he had been quite down lately, over that Cameron guy, who we have now decided to refer to as either "it" or "him".
I found him in the famous astronomy tower, I could hear through the door that they were definitely not talking Quidditch, nor talking at all unless moaning is considered talking, which I'm pretty sure it isn't.
I opened the door, quietly, and looked inside, the first thing I saw was siri's white top that he wore under his robe this morning. Said top was thrown on the floor, its stark whiteness in contrast with the dark stone covered floor; it seemed obscene, almost misplaced, in this chilly tower.
I looked further in, and there was siri, his long black blue hair a luxurious cascade, a curtain of desire that hides him and his lover, who I recognized as Matthew Beaker (Ravenclaw's 6th year chaser, a worthy adversary on the Quidditch field) from the outside world, in a haze of lust, and here I am bringing in the real world again.
Sirius was lying on top of Matthew, his beautiful long limbed body driving forcefully into the older chaser's pliant body, his chest tightening, pink nipples protruding from his body, his flat stomach tightened from the force of his thrusts into Matthew.
Matthew's legs wrapped around Sirius' waist, his hands clenching the robes that covered the floor they lay upon.
Sirius leaned down and pressed his red lips to Matthew's, their tongues dueling with each other, bodies pressed firmly together, as Sirius continued to drive into Ravenclaw's golden boy.
I could not look any more, I fled, in my ears rings the last moan of pleasure that spilled from Matthew's lips as he climaxed.
"Sirius"
~ Remus' p.o.v ~
He didn't come, he just never showed up, until noon that is, the wolf in me could smell another on his skin, someone had touched him, caressed him, kissed him.
My mind was clouded in hot red haze, which slightly resembled Sirius' red lips, the wolf in me was slowly taking over, and I was scared, how I hated this feeling, as though the wolf, was never gone, forever residing in my flesh, my blood and my mind, the infusion so complete that I knew that no cure could separate us again, I will always be Remus and werewolf, we are one and the same, my heart beats for us both, and I'm forever lost, I shall never be sweet, harmless Remus, I'll be a shame, locked up in a cage all my life, shunned from the public and any chance of happiness.
That's what he makes me feel, reckless and out of control and I'm terrified I wont have much restraint to keep my wolf at bay, but most of all the will to keep away, not interfere with his life, not harm those who look upon him, who touch him with their filthy hands, when they should worship him as I do, as the wolf does.
But what claim do I have to him? The beautiful free soul that he is my friend, my dream lover, who seduces me from afar, unbeknownst to him.
The pain grows in me, intensifies in me, into every dark corners of my divided and torn soul, he is everywhere, I'm at his feet and the worst of all is that he knows nothing of it, of my torment as he glides happily and serenely through life, his presence electrifies all who look at him, feeling shy and in awe of him, yet he sees none of it, none but his own faults, and that makes my love and pain grow, for I wish to protect him, yet I know I will never have him, cause to protect is to posses one so wholly that a circle of dependency is created, and then he will go.
I have entered my melancholy faze again, as always the case when the full moon is upon us, but tonight things will have changed for I shall not be alone.
"I think something is wrong with it! Should it be this green? Are you sure you added that white powder thingy?" stammered Peter in his usual nervous manner, though tonight he was nervous for a reason. Tonight 4 years of planning will finally come to fruition. The animagus potion is finally ready.
We stood side by side in front of the smoky cauldron. Green steam sprouting from the equally green bubbly substance, it did not seem very appetizing to me.
On my right stood James, the green steam casting a sickly almost demonic glow on his sweet features, his pale blue eyes glowed with triumph and excitement.
Sirius began filling cups with the green potion, and distributed the glasses to Peter, James and to himself.
I watched helplessly as James and Sirius looked up at me with a determined expression. I held my breath. Could I let them do this? Risk their lives just so I won't be lonely one night a month? It seems like madness.
All these years of research and planning had been an adventure that had cemented our bond, but was I ready for the next level? Was I ready for the chance that we might have failed? It does seem a bit too green, should it be this green? Dear me, I feel I'm losing my sanity, if this went wrong I don't think I could survive, for you see, it won't be the guilt that will kill me, for I have enough of it as is, it's them, my little close knitted family, my home.
They stared at each other then, Sirius smiling his confident and excited smile, there was no doubt in my mind that I will not be able to change his mind.
The glass was lifted in the air "bottoms up, lads!" he toasted and I watched nervously as satin red lips griped the glass stem, the green liquid slowly disappearing through those heavenly red portals to the heart of the boy I loved.
We watched with held breath as Sirius consumed the potion in his glass, his mouth stretched in a look of disgust. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his robe, eyes squinting slightly and smiled at me.
Relief washed over my body, making me shiver slightly as though I was sprayed with cold water, beside me I could hear James sigh with relief as well, we were both aware of siri's recklessness, but we loved him so, that we could not bear to see him hurt. To see the sparkle of trust in his eyes fade.
And then something changed. A shift in the air around us.
"Oh" I glanced back at Sirius just in time to see his body first become rigid and then curl to protect his middle.
He uttered no further sound, anguish clearly written on his face as he stumbled to the floor, his breath coming in harsh pants as though he could not breath.
James and I rushed towards him; enveloping him in our arms, James rubbing his back soothingly while I wrapped my arms around his middle, his head nestled in the crook of my neck, his warm breath caressing my exposed neck. I couldn't help but shiver, the moment nearly undone me with its erotic simplicity.
My hands gently caressing his sweat soaked curls, his breath still harsh in my ears.
James had now risen from his seat on the floor and began pacing franticly, his eyes never leaving Sirius' slumped and shivering figure.
Pale blue eyes met mine over Sirius' head pleading with me. For what? I cannot say.
"We should take him to the infirmary, right James?" Said Peter, seeking James approval as he always did.
"Are you mad? What will we say? That we made an animagus potion that went bad? We'll be expelled!"
"But this is crazy! Siri could die!" James answered his own exclamation.
How I wanted to shake him! To throttle him for even stopping to think, our fearless leader.
"Let's take him to the infirmary now" said James decidedly.
And then it happened, I was stroking Sirius' head when I felt that his hair had become longer, In fact it had spread all over his body, covering his robe. He was growing fur.
I jumped back in surprise; Sirius was now lying on the floor, his muscled arms slowly being covered by the strange black blue silky fur. His fingers drawing inside his palms, which slowly became paws.
Was he a wolf? I wondered.
What sweet anguish it is to think how close we could be, all that we can share. That he might love me then, all of me, Remus and the wolf.
But then the transformation was over and before us stood a big black dog, who would have thought that even as a dog Sirius would be so striking.
He stood up on all four and lifted his gigantic black head, tongue lolling out of his mouth, looked at us and waged his tale experimentally.
And we laughed; it was such a release from the earlier strain and uncertainty.
I knelt down in front of Sirius, he walked to me, and I began petting his head caressing his silky tresses, scratching behind his soft ears. He mewled appreciatively.
The wolf in me surged up, hungry and needy. I could feel my blood singing in my veins, my companion in the dark. It was done.
~ Sirius' p.o.v ~
I'm a dog! Unbelievable I'm a dog!
I wagged my tail again. I could feel my body tingle all over from the motion of my tail. My fur felt warm and comforting on my big body.
But the rush of scents to my nose nearly undone me. I could not separate them. Remus was scratching my ears and all I could think was how good he smelt. I wanted to press my new snout to his robe covered body, he smelled of jasmine like the shampoo he used to wash his silky hair and a faint musky scent I quickly cataloged as his own personal odor. And the strange thing about that was that it aroused me. But then I smelled something new inside of him. Something surged up, something powerful, the wolf, it was there.
The dog in me was anxious at first; nervous, but the hand petting me remained steady and loving.
My mind was in a whirl of sound and scents, I quickly became dizzy, the new brain of the dog was so different from mine. It knew no permanent sadness, no deep thoughts of existence, it simply lived, and it loved to live. There was no Cameron here, no one to satisfy, to be desirable for. Everything was so simple, yet exciting, I wanted to live! I wanted to play, to run till my paws ached, and my breath burst through my lungs to pound against my rib cage, the ach of it so sweet, I could weep. I wanted the wind through my fur, to feel as though I'm riding Serengela through the fields surrounding the mansion.
I quickly became one with the dog in me. I felt this strange urge to merge with it. Was this the union that the book spoke of? The merging? The book on the animagus transformations is highly unclear on such matters. Suddenly I remembered a dream I had a mere 3 months ago, at Cameron's place, about me and Remy in our animal form. Did I know then that I would be a dog?
~ James' p.o.v ~
Well he's a dog! It worked! Nobody died and it worked. Thank god, it was a close call.
Sirius was sniffing us eagerly with his big wet snout, his tail wagging continuously as though he was possessed, he looked like a regular big beautiful black dog, but his eyes were like siri's passionate purple orbs. This dog's eyes radiated with unexplainable wisdom, not common in any animal on earth.
Siri raced across the room excitedly, making us laugh at his merry exhilaration.
"I think it is time to turn back siri" said Remus softly a sweet smile on his jovial features.
Sirius stopped in his place, turned towards us, cocking his head to the side in such an adorable canine gesture that it seemed hard to believe there was a human being underneath all of that black blue fur.
We waited. Sirius froze in place, his tail standing still and erect. And then slowly the fur retreated, followed by smooth golden skin, paws became graceful hands and feet, only to spread further to expose long muscular legs, beautifully curved thighs, and surprisingly enough, Sirius' hips and calves and more intimate part of his anatomy. I wanted to look away, to give him some privacy, but I could not, and it wasn't as though I had never seen him naked, because I had quite often, usually while taking a shower or getting dressed. But for some reason, being completely dressed and seeing Sirius completely naked, changed things, he seemed more vulnerable, more appealing, his lips seemed redder then before, fuller and inviting, his body more toned, skin glowing, his flat muscular stomach contracted with nervousness.
Who knew that when you change back, you return with no clothes? The book about the animagus potion never said a word, but apparently you don't transform back with your clothes.
The final outcome was Sirius standing naked in the cold drafty classroom. I looked away from the beautiful sight and looked at both Peter and Remus; they were as entranced as I was.
Peter was panting his eyes bulged nearly out of their sockets and his face was a light shade of pink. Remy on the other hand, was covering his mouth with his left hand, as though to stop any moans of excitement to burst fourth, not that I would blame him for wanting to, so did I, which is why I looked away from the beautiful sight which is my best friend completely naked, before my very own eyes.
Remus' eyes racked over siri's naked form almost fearfully, he was afraid of being caught staring, I realized, not that it could be helped really.
After several seconds of staring, Sirius finally became uncomfortable, his hands had long since took their place covering his crutch from our sight, now he was shivering from the cold, and looking at us expectantly. That look roused us enough so that we all removed our outer robes and handed them over to him. Sirius made no qualm over being given three robes instead of one, but instead he wore them all, snuggling into them in the most sinful way possible, his hair pooling down the back of my outer robe, in a luxuriant cascade of silk, his red lips gently brushing the collar of the robe, while his elegant hands curled tightly around the lapels.
Bundled up in our robes, and extremely tired Sirius took his seat on the broken and dirty couch that was situated at the back of the deserted classroom, and waited patiently, his eyes firmly locked on mine, he was waiting for me to take the potion as well.
I glanced down at the glass of still green steaming liquid which had somehow appeared in my hand (I suspected it was Peter's doing, the little coward!). I swallowed the lump in my throat, lifting the glass to my lips, my gaze on Remus now, his beautiful golden orbs, distraught as he looked back at me, silently pleading with me to lower my arm, to drop the glass, let it shatter to pieces, but I had to, it was what we worked for, it was everything we wanted, everything Remy needed, and I could not back away from the promise we made. Remy would never be alone. And so I drank.
~ Remus' p.o.v ~
And so it was finished, Sirius was a dog, James a stag and Peter, well after much difficulties Peter was a rat. How I laughed over that, but it did make sense, for now he will be able to get under the branches of the whomping willow and touch the knot so that James and Sirius could enter the canal as well.
We all walked towards our dorms, silently, our feet, making no sound on the stone covered floor. We walked side by side, Sirius still covered by our outer robes, the rest of us still clothed as both Peter and James had taken off their clothes before they drank the potion.
We reached the dorm with no mishap, saying the password (gargoyle) to the fat lady, and rushing up the stairs. We collapsed on our beds and looked at each other, then I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, sensing easily that the others were right behind me as they always were.
It was passed 3am when I suddenly woke up, at first I couldn't make out the reason why I had woken up, but then I heard a quiet moan, it wasn't a moan of pleasure, I recognized the voice instantly, it was siri's, he was having another one of his nightmares. I walked silently to his bed, and kneeled down on the carpet covered floor beside his bed, my hands gently reached out to caress his hair and cheek, he turned towards my comforting touch and sighed, his breath evened again and he returned to sleep. It always amazed me how the simplest of contact could relax him so, not only when he was suffering from his infamous nightmares but also when he was distraught or even with no reason, it seemed enough for him, if you just held his hand, or brushed the soft curls of his hair away from his face, and he would smile happily at you, his eyes sparkling with complete trust.
I got up from the floor and made my way to bed, when I bumped into Sirius' trunk that he conveniently left beside his bed for me to trip over and nearly crash to the ground gracelessly, the messy bugger!
The contents of his trunk spilled to the floor, fortunately the noise didn't rouse any of them, they must be even more exhausted then I thought.
I started to quietly gather all of the spilt contents of the floor and into the trunk, when my hand gripped a piece of paper, I pulled it up, to return it to the trunk, I have no wish to go through siri's personal things, he is my friend, and I won't violate his privacy, I kept telling myself, until said piece of paper turned out to be an envelope which I had held upside down and watched helplessly as its contents spilled to the ground. I sighed and began to pick up the papers, but they were no papers, these were photos, muggle photos at that. I lifted one of the pictures to catch a stray ray of light that had stolen into our room, through the constantly lit candles in the hall to our room; I didn't need any more light then this.
It was a picture of Sirius, a naked Sirius, smiling up at the camera a cigarette dangling from his full lips, while his hands held his upper body up on the bed.
I dropped the photo and picked up another one, Sirius kissing a man I had never met, his red lips consuming the mouth of the other man. His elegant hands caressing the guy's chest.
Next picture, Sirius on the bed, naked, beautiful red lips stretched over the hard organ pumping into his willing mouth.
I could barley breath, my heart was pumping furiously, I was angry, seeing siri like that, so beautiful, so desirable, a part I had never seen before, will never see. The wolf in me had reawakened, and it whispered in my ears with its quiet growls what I should take.
Another photo, Sirius with another man I didn't recognize, both laying on their sides, the man's arms wrapped around siri's waist, Sirius' mouth open as though to moan in pleasure. Their beautiful golden bodies wrapped tightly around each other.
"Claim him" the wolf growled.
A different setting, Sirius by a balcony in a place I had never seen apart from in these pictures. Naked, leaning on his elbows, his silky hair, glowing with a blue fire in its tousled state, red lips parted in a secret smile, purple eyes crinkling with sensual satisfaction.
"You know you want him, don't deny! We want him" the wolf would not relent.
Red satin sheets, Sirius sprawled on the bed, two pairs of hands by unseen men, caress and fondle his naked beauty.
"We need him, he should be ours, our mate" I could not ignore his voice, his logic, my dream lover, my mate, my desire.
I looked at all the other pictures, Sirius, in every possible sexual position, that I had dreamed of deploying on him, right there before my eyes, being done by other men, that I didn't know, their hands all over him, as though he was theirs to touch, to caress, I hated these nameless men.
I got up, my body burning as though I was covered from head to toe in molten lava, the need in me was beyond my control, I had to go to sleep, to lose myself in dreams of things that can never be.
I put the photos in the envelope and returned it to the trunk, closing the lid shut and with it, closing my treacherous wolf from making ay more claims that neither I nor he can resist.
I climbed into my bed silently, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. After several minutes or hours, I know not how long, I felt calm enough to mange sleep.
It was dark, and frightening around me, the trees' limber branches swayed in the strong winter wind that blazed through the forest, lifting mounts of discarded leaves and piles of dust in her wake. Her whistle a blood freezing scream, yet I was not afraid, I felt at home, I was the king! The predator, the master of these woods, I was the wolf.
The clouds in the sky drifted away revealing their hidden treasure, the glow of the full moon drenched my fur covered skin, setting my dark grey fur alight with its mysterious blue flame, the forest became my playground, lighted up with thousands of tiny blue flames, bathing the trees with silver tainted glow, for me.
"Crunch" a sound of a footprint was made on the ground. Someone had dared to trespass on my territory, to steal his way into my domain.
"Crunch" the noise came again to my left. I turned my head towards the left, where I had heard the sound come from. Into the clearing stepped an animal, he was large and black, I growled at him, baring my teeth. Yet this creature moved towards me, not backing away, and then he was before me and I could see that he was a dog, a black grim look-alike dog, and I growled some more, crouching a bit to prepare to leap at this intruder to crush his throat with my teeth, but something stopped me, I knew this dog.
I cautiously stepped towards it, sniffed him quickly at first, then more thoroughly
"Sirius"
The dog licked me then, his tongue caressing my cheeks, my long ear, my snout and then my mouth.
Everything whirled around me in a strange haze of color, I was on top of him, suddenly, still in my wolf form my body driving itself inside of him, driving towards completion, I threw my head back at the moon and the stars that danced around its magnificent glow, and I howled, I lowered my head back, my eyes meeting the eyes of Sirius, human-Sirius, his black hair covering the forest floor, golden body bathed with the moon's ethereal glow his lips bruised and swollen from kissing, legs wrapped tightly around my body while he panted at each thrust I made, my name spilling from his red lips with each moan.
"Remus"
I couldn't contain myself anymore, I lowered my head to his slender and elegant neck, sinking my teeth into his flesh, his pulse beating like a thunderous drum on my tongue, echoing in my mouth and submerging me in him, deeper then my body could reach, deeper then a shared smile, deeper then a kiss.
I pumped into him, continuously, never withdrawing far from him, he laid his head back, exposing more of his neck to me, I growled in pleasure against his bruised and bitten neck, feeling him shiver in my arms.
We climaxed together, with me still deep inside of him, my teeth imbedded in his skin, until I drew blood, the coppery taste of it enraptured me. We have found a mate. We are one. Wolf and man. Dog and wolf. Me and Sirius.
My eyes gaze at Sirius' beautiful purple orbs now tinted with a silver streak, mine, lips parted slowly, we kiss.
I jump up in my bed, its 7:30 am and I'm going to be late. I look at the rest and see that they too had overslept, my gaze meets Sirius' from across the room, not all of them are still asleep I amend silently. I can barely tear my eyes away from his delectable neck, bare of clothes as his night shirt slips invitingly of his shoulder almost baring a dark pink nipple, I exhale slowly, and wake James and Peter, all the while feeling Sirius powerful gaze burning holes in my back, but I am too ashamed to face him after all that I had seen.
And then James is awake and the attention of us all turns to him.
He smiles at us in his sweet sleepy manner, before he sits beside siri on his bed, hands on his thighs and exclaiming.
"We did it!"
We all laugh at his silliness, yet I can't help but feel honored, come this full moon tonight I will not be alone.
I lock my gaze with Sirius knowing stare and smile softly.
Next chapter: the first full moon of the marauders, nicknames, a kiss between two best friends, will it become more?
Tune in for the next chapter of "of beauty".
I wish to thank all who reviewed, and especially your patience, it did take ages to finish this one; hopefully the next won't take nearly as long!
Jeswin- I agree Sirius does need to get rid of them, but as you can see, he didn't because it's part of the plot. Glad you liked his mom. Thanks for reviewing I love your reviews, they always make me laugh.
Madkornfan- thank you; hope you will enjoy this chapter as well.
Uh- I guess it is NC-17, oh well, good to know you don't mind much. Lol. It's good to know that you believe sex should be with someone you love, I hope you have had a positive experience. Hope you will enjoy this chapter. I think you might not like Cameron at all, instead of disliking him.
Jasini- wow, thanks, hope this chapter will satisfy you a bit. Please review; let me know what you think.
Hoopla- thanks, I did find out about commune thing, I'm trying to fix it, but my beta had only redone chapters 1 and 2 which if you care to read the word had been fixed, but I'm currently without a beta, so I try not to mess up too much, afraid English is not my first language.
As for the plot, I like the fact that you can see everything from different p.o.v's, and I'm not much of a p.w.p kind of girl, it's nice but I like longer fics.
Slashnburn- just updated, like? Let me know
Shadow shi13- wow, what a compliment, thank you. Hope you like this one, I'm a bit apprehensive about it. Let me know.
Luky- sorry I hadn't emailed you, but I'm not happy with the current versions, so when my new beta (which I hope to find soon) will finish all the chapters till now, I will email them to you. But I must say that the nc-17 version is not much different from the R rated one, it just has a few more descriptions. But it's your decision.
Elena Marie- thank you. As I have said to luky, it's a few more descriptions, if you are interested I'd email it to you.
Mysid- I'm sorry to hear you disapprove of my story, but as you know you are free to say whatever you want. You are also free to not read this story if it offends you, if it does, then I apologize. As for the word commune, I thank you for pointing out my mistake, I was unsure of the word myself, but as I have said English is not my first language, and I try my best.
As for the time and the plot, as well as the condoms issue. I wasn't alive in the 70's and I don't know much about it, I have read books and seen shows about the 70's, but I'm afraid my knowledge is still not impressive.
As for condom usage, I write the way I hear, and I must say I have heard of few people who do use condoms for oral sex, and just because I write it, doesn't mean I approve of it, but I defend my right to do so, as I've said before if you are in any way displeased with this story, feel free to not read it. and I have been trying to censor it some, unfortunately it's hard to do that without damaging the chapter itself, because I never publish before I'm sure it's good enough, and changing anything in it, is too painful to even consider, which is also why I'm looking for a beta now
So thank you for reviewing, you are my first critic, and for that I thank you.