Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a slash story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: R (very graphic/under age sex)

Chapter 7 – Tales Of Betrayal

~ Sirius' p.o.v ~

He is sneaking around us again. I just saw him behind the rose bushes near the lake.

I think he knows something.

"James, we have to talk, now!"

I drag James away towards the castle, looking behind me to ascertain his location, good; he is still by the lake.

I grab the sleeve of James' robes and pull him into the small warehouse at the back of the castle.

"What? Sirius, what the hell is going on?" James is being his oblivious self again, so I immediately cut to the chase.

"We're being followed, look I know it's stupid, but snape is following us around, I also saw him trying to get inside the infirmary, into Remus' room. He knows something."

"You're over reacting; maybe he needed to go to the infirmary. I think he has better things to do with his time than stalk Remus unless you think he has a crush on him. Oh, the things we could do with that kind of information…"

James rubbed his hands together, a devious smile on his handsome face.

"James, I'm telling you its serious"

"No, you are! Okay, I know that was lame. Look Sirius I don't think we have anything to worry about, okay? Just calm down, he will get suspicious if you keep acting like this, you need to remember we have to act normal. Now speaking of normal, we haven't played a prank in ages; it's time to return to our former glory"

James looks at me thoughtfully and I decide to drop the subject, though I will still keep an eye on the greasy git, that's for sure, but now it was time for a good prank.

Look out snape I've got my eye on you.

~ Severus' p.o.v ~

What are they hiding?

What could it be?

Is it just an idiotic prank? But why has it been going on for so long? no prank has ever taken them this long to prepare.

It has to be something else.

What is it?

I rake my brain trying to come up with an idea, an inkling of what it is they are hiding.

Oh what beauty it will be for me to find out and to have them all expelled. Then we'll see who the heroes are.

I have decided to trail after Black and Lupin as they are the ones who hold all the secrets, yet I sometimes feel that disgusting mud blood, Black, knows something. The way he looks at me is almost accusatory, and he has been paying extra attention to me, in terms of harassment unfortunately.

He may be a filthy mud blood, but he is a gorgeous one at that. From what I heard in my dormitories as well as the Slytherin common room, he resides in all of their night time's fantasies, not a good place to be, unless you're into whips and chains and being submissive, which I fail to see Black as.

It is ridicules how they all drool over him, yet openly antagonize him. They must be thinking any attention he bestows upon them is welcomed, well they are Slytherins after all.

Another day, is nearly over, I sit in the great hall, enjoying my dinner, my eyes trained on Black and Lupin. They are sitting close to each other, talking. But there is something different about how they act; they are huddled close to each other, as though there is no more room on the bench, when it is very clear that the table has not yet witnessed the return of the quidditch team from its practice, which naturally leaves their table almost bare of occupants. Yet still they huddle, whispering intimately in each other's ears, a constant smile of adoration on their faces.

It's sickening to watch, if they were any other students that is. But when it's them, I feel almost like an intruder into their private world, which I embarrassedly admit is unnervingly arousing.

Why would an intelligent pure blooded boy hang around with a mud blood whore? Yes, I know Sirius is gorgeous, we have all heard that before, several times even, and I know he is very smart, I grudgingly admit, but only to myself that both he and James are my superior in everything. It's true, they can't fail. This is why they must be expelled.

So here they are again, on the quidditch field, sitting on the stands and watching Potter's annoying antics on a broom, this time they are accompanied by none other than cowardly Pettigrew.

They sit together, Black and Lupin again huddled close, Pettigrew a seat below them, eyes fixated on Potter, showing of in his magnificently arrogant way, Pettigrew looks about ready to drool with admiration, how disgusting!

And then it happens, Black raises his hand, towards Lupin's face, where a silvery-blond strand had fallen into his eye, covering the left side of his handsome features from view.

His hand gently tucking the errant strand behind Lupin's left ear, lingering longer than necessary on the silky lock, as though he is caressing it within his strong grip.

For a minute there, they both stop talking; Lupin's eyes drift closed slowly, his hand now above Black's hand, just holding it, as if he needs to steady himself.

He opens his beautiful hazel eyes, their depth burning with silver fire, to stare straight at Black's purple flames, they just stare, they mean to lean closer, I can tell by their body language, but they don't.

At that precise moment Pettigrew squeaks loudly in his irritating way and turns towards them.

"Yay James! (Turns to them) did you see him? Isn't he incredible?"

They both break apart as though burnt and smile nervously at Pettigrew.

I can easily hear their conversation now, since I'm sitting a few rows to the left of them and they are also no longer whispering to each other, they don't even know I'm there, but then again when have they ever seen anyone else but themselves?

I get up and slowly take my leave, but I have to look at them just once more, I cant help myself, they look beautiful together, both of them looking at Pettigrew as he attempts yet again to tell a joke, I can understand why he wishes to see them smile and laugh, they look enchanting, Black's hand is on Lupin's wrist, just holding it loosely in his grip, as though by that simple gesture they are connected, they seem to be, and I know there will never be room for me, and I accept that , I think.

I glance at Pettigrew again, wondering for the thousand time how he had entered their close knitted group, he seems out of place, they all outshine him in their beauty and charm, but he lingers on, accepted by them, loved by them, and he is unworthy of the heat of their affections.

I turn around again, and make my leave, I will watch them again, that is for sure, until I will know what it is they hide. They will slip up, and I will be there to catch them.

~ Remus p.o.v ~

It was so erotic, his hand tucking a stray lock behind my ear, I shivered, my eyes drifting shut by their own will, I licked my lips nervously.

I had never felt desire course through me so powerfully, consuming me, and I loved that gesture, it was not sexual, but it was so caring, the meaning behind the simple action was arousing me. I want him.

I know it's crazy, I know what he does, and that I won't ever be enough, how can I be?

But for these glorious few moments I was his and he was mine, and I loved him all the more for it.

I spent all day twirling that cherished lock of hair as a man possessed would do, wondering if I could smell his scent on the much harassed lock, but I dared not, I feared I would be lost if I did, so I did not.

We are sitting together again, just him and me, as we had begun to do. James now had practice almost every night, the quidditch team was preparing for its game against the Slytherin team, and since we all know they don't play fair, our mighty Gryffindors will have to give it their all.

And so it happened that we were always together while James was practicing and being cheered on by Peter.

He surprised me with his wit, he is so smart, more than he gives himself credit for, though I knew he was smart, he and James are top students after all, I was still amazed at just how clever and thoughtful he is. His spirit is strong and true. The time spent in his company is always interesting, always funny. We could talk for hours, though I wished we would do more, I want more.

It was a week after our one on one meetings had begun when I finally gathered enough courage to ask about James, basically him and James, I had to know.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I learned of the end of it, though not to his face, of course.

He was not in love, free and single, and I wanted him to notice me, to covet me, to posses me.

How strange that I should ask that of him, when I am the "alpha male", but it's true, it's what I want, desire, to be taken over by him, to be his forever.

They say there is weakness in that, they are fools. If he possessed me, then I would have him, a part of me will linger inside of him as it would in me, that's the power of this possession, of love.

The sun is shining brightly as we all walk into the great hall, the wonderful smells of food cooked to perfection, assails our senses, I feel dizzy and nearly salivating, as though I hadn't eaten in months.

We all sit together in our usual seats at the middle of the table, no one else dares to sit there without our invitation, mainly because James and Sirius can be quite intimidating when they want to be, and they don't like to share.

I quickly took my seat next to Sirius across from Peter who sits beside James as always. James and Sirius sit across from each other already discussing new ideas for pranks and next week's adventure.

It's hard to believe the full moon is upon us again, I find myself almost eager for its arrival.

Since our first adventure, we had taken into exploring the grounds of the forbidden forest and Hogwarts grounds as well as Hogsmead, in preparation to finish our map, it was nearly finished, all we lacked was some more information on the grounds and to add the necessary charms to secure its secrecy.

I  unlike those two can't bare to talk of such heavy subjects when I have not yet had my breakfast, which is why both Sirius and James don't involve me in the conversation now, though I'm sure by this afternoon I would have heard all about it from both of them.

I begin to pile food onto my plate, pancakes and eggs, sausages and crispy bacon with a bit of vegetable salad, after all it's important to eat healthy.

I had just taken a bite out of my bacon, when I saw him approach us, he was none other than Jeffery Michaels, a 7th year Gryffindor, with deep green eyes and short blonde hair, he was one of the quidditch team's beaters, so naturally he was tall and muscled, at first I thought he wished to talk to James but it became apparent to me rather quickly that Sirius had made it his goal to screw with every guy on both the Ravenclaw's and the Gryffindor's team, be they gay or straight, and now it was Jeffery's turn.

I watched them talking quietly, Sirius looking up at him a teasing smile gracing his full red lips.

James had welcomed the intruder into our circle, to sit with us in the middle of the Gryffindor table, sitting between me and Sirius, making my hatred towards him even more intense than before.

They all chatted together, James spattering on about the team's chances in the upcoming match against the Slytherin, while Jeffrey simply nodded and replied in one word answers, his eyes locked on Sirius, and why wouldn't they be?

Sirius was putting on quite a show, pretending to be oblivious to the silence that suddenly reined over the great hall, ignoring the gasp of shock and lust escaping his observers, while he sucked lusciously on a strawberry, dipped in cream, I was amazed none of the teachers, who mind you, were watching this avidly, had commented on his atrocious performance.

I am utterly furious with him.

Sirius had finally swallowed the strawberry's remains and with a final sweep of his tongue on his now wet full red lips; had also licked the remains of its juicy flavor. I could feel that poor Jeffery was nearly bursting with the need, to suck those heavenly red lips, to taste the juice of the strawberry that lingered on those fleshy lips.

We had then finished our breakfast in silence, and gotten up to return to our dorms, it is a Sunday morning after all.

We all stood up, James talking to Sirius for a few minutes; I couldn't hear what they were saying over the ruckus of many other students leaving the great hall, the seductive performance of Sirius still upon their lips, he had gained himself many admirers this morning.

I turn towards James and Sirius again; they are both smiling, James pats   Sirius' shoulder in a friendly manner, and walks away.

At first I'm shocked; did we not decide to spend the day together working on the map?

I look back at Sirius only to watch him leave with Jeffery, in the opposite direction; Jeffery had his arm around his waist as though he feared Sirius might run off from him, I hoped he would. And my jealousy increases.

I turn back towards James, who is walking back to our dormitories.

My nerves are a mess; I can't stop looking at the clock in our common room, trying to assure myself that he is not having sex at the moment, hoping to see him walk through the door right now. Sex takes more than 10 minutes, right?

So if he came in now, I'd know he hadn't slept with him. Maybe they just kissed? No, that was worse! To think he slept with him is bad, but a kiss is so intimate, I don't want him to kiss anyone, anyone but me.

~ Sirius p.o.v ~

His hands were all over me, it felt so good, I was under constant assault, his lips caressed the skin of my neck, my jaw, my cheeks, before he placed them on mine, while his hands caressed my chest, my nipples and my back.

I opened my mouth for him, eagerly, my tongue dueling with his, before he chased my tongue into my mouth.

He explored my mouth ruthlessly, I was already feeling dizzy with desire, my body shivering, the blood pumping faster in my veins, I was hooked.

We walked out of the great hall, together his arm around my waist, I had told James I would be back in an hour and that he should start working on the map without me. Being the good friend that he is, naturally he agreed.

I looked back at Remus; he seemed quite shocked, which made me feel sad, like I had disappointed him.

We had been spending more time together lately, and I don't want to ruin anything, but I, well I just feel horny I guess.

And Jeffery is just what I need, no strings attached sex.

James would say that I need to watch my back and that one day I will mess with the wrong guy, I hope not, and I'm also too horny to care.

We had barely made it out of the great hall and into the astronomy tower before he jumps me.

He turns me towards him and kisses me aggressively. His tongue, licking my lips, demanding entrance to my mouth, I moan and eagerly comply. My mouth fills with his musky taste, his hands begin tearing at my robes, I grudgingly return the favor on his.

His tongue caresses my Platte, sweeping across my mouth, sucking on my tongue. Ummm that feels so good.

And then we break apart gasping, he starts tracing his tongue and lips, placing soft kisses across my neck, my jaw, my cheeks and finally my mouth, he is gentle this time, his tongue caresses my mouth, my teeth, sucking on my tongue softly, I can feel him moaning, into me, the vibrations race through me, I shiver in need.

Now I'm the aggressor. I strip him naked, pulling his underwear off with my teeth, he seems shocked, I think he was under the misconception that he was the "top" and I the "bottom". I smirk up at him, while I sit on the floor in front of his now naked torso.

I stand up, never breaking eye contact, and strip for him, my clothes dropping to the floor in a heap, next to our torn robes (I'll have to remember to fix that before I leave, otherwise it would be too hard to explain should I run into McGonagall). Our clothes and robes now make a fine bedding on the cold harsh stone floor.

I trace my hands across my chest, pinching my nipples, and twirling them, before I move further down, across my flat stomach, my muscles tightening.

I move lower, he is watching me still, as though he knows he is not allowed to touch me until I say so, that is.

Surprisingly he is not on my mind now, no, not at all. In my mind I'm stripping for someone else, in my mind, hazel eyes with a touch of silver rake over my wanton body, I shiver again; I feel my hardness twitch beneath its bed of silky black-blue curls.

My hand is now stroking my firm flesh, up and down, feeling it thicken and grow in my grip, feeling the silky texture of the skin covering the hard organ.

"I can't take any more of this" a strangled sound is issued from his mouth.

I look up just in time, for my mouth to be ravished again; my lips feel so full, and bruised from all of his kisses, I want them to be even redder, I want to wrap them around his manhood. To feel him come undone in my arms, whispering my name on his lips, as though he knows no other word.

I feel myself become harder.

His tongue is in my mouth again, dueling with mine. We break apart, I sink my teeth in his neck, leaving marks in my wake, which I sooth gently with my tongue and lips.

I move on to his nipples, take each into my mouth, slowly caressing the pale pink tip with my tongue, feeling it harden and tighten in my mouth.

He is moaning again, the sound leaves me mesmerized. I slide lower, my tongue licking a straight line down his chest, towards his strong stomach, dipping into his navel, only to move further down towards his erection, I waste no time, before I swallow him deep down my throat, he bucks up towards my mouth, nearly gagging me, but I catch my rhythm quickly and continue to suck, pleasuring him. In and out, my lips feel rough and bruised from this treatment, and I love it. He tastes so good, musky and manly, like Cameron, and it doesn't feel wrong to do this, it just feels good.

His hands are in my hair, caressing my scalp, I moan around him, and continue my assault on his hardness, in and out, My knees are killing me, as I'm still kneeling on the floor, I can feel them being scraped rough, but I can't stop this. I let him slide out of my mouth with a 'pop', my tongue caressing the firm flesh, he bucks again, but I'm prepared this time, my hands grip his hips firmly and hold him still. I swallow him down again, one hand now massaging his testicles.

He is begging me to finish him now, no coherent thought in his mind but this release. So naturally I stop.

"What?? No! You can't leave me like this!" he whines, when I let go of him and stand up.

His hand reaches down in an attempt to relieve himself. I catch it easily in my hand.

"No touching, you will cum when I want you to cum, and not before" I rise from the floor and whisper softly in his ear. He begins to whimper piteously. I kiss him then, plunging my tongue deep inside of his mouth, possessing him, leaving no surface unmarked by my tongue. 

I end the kiss; he is panting now, his green eyes almost black with desire, his face flushed, lips full and swollen from my attention.

I smirk at him. "Lay down, now!" I command.

He does as he is told, knowing that if he wishes to cum, he will have to do as I say. He leans back on the floor, covered in our robes; he shivers slightly as his flesh touches their warmth, adding to the fire already singing through his veins. He is like putty in my hands.

I lean over him, licking across his neck, down his chest, licking past a nipple, before moving further down, to lick the head of his erection. I kiss his inner thighs, sucking on the gentle skin, leaving red marks, signs of my possession, in my wake.

I part his legs further, bending his knees, exposing him. I quickly grab my wand and perform a charm I was taught by Matthew, the first non muggle lad I had ever been with.

"Lubricous" pointing my wand at his needy entrance, watching avidly as his entrance becomes covered with lube.

My finger traces soothingly across the now oiled cleft, just circling it, he tenses, expecting to feel the intrusion of my finger.

"Relax, I'm sure you've done this before" I look into his eyes, making sure that he wants this, that he has done this before. I see the lust in his eyes, the fire burning in them; his body is shaking and sweaty. I need no further encouragement, I plunge my finger inside of him, he bucks up in surprise, and yelps. I wait for him to relax before I begin to move my finger inside of his tight hole, stretching the tight channel. Soon I have a second finger inside of him; he moans softly and pushes against my fingers. I scissor my fingers inside of him, stretching him open, I curl them upwards and start to stroke his prostate, he moans again, his erection returns to its former hardness, I stroke him with my other hand several times, while adding a third finger inside of his now relaxed opening.

His thighs are shaking, hands wrapped tightly on the robes, littering the floor, his jaw clenches while sweat covers his heated body.

I slip my fingers out of him, trying to steady my shaking hands; I perform the charm again, this time on my own needy flesh.

I grab his legs with my hands, lifting them onto my shoulders.

I push him back down on our robes. Now pushing against his entrance, the tip of my hardness just breaching his tightness. And then I plunge in with one fierce thrust. (I found out I needed no condom in the wizarding world, thanks again to Matthew's wonderful teaching).

"Oh" he groans into my ear, his teeth biting his lower lip, his head thrown back.

He looks beautiful this way, body sweating and undulating beneath me, his tight entrance ripples around my heated flesh, his green eyes now black and unseeing, almost glassy, lips drawn back as his body adjust to my girth and length.

"Oh god, move!"  He cries, his voice husky and desperate with need.

I laugh, but I move anyway, pulling out and then plunging back in, not allowing him time to recuperate.

I start us in a fierce rhythm, thrusting inside of him relentlessly. He is looking at me pleadingly, wordlessly asking for some kind of stimulation, since I'm not stroking him, or striking his prostate.

I know all he feels are the vibrations of my thrusts deep inside of him, just a trace of them caressing his neglected prostate, not nearly enough to lead to his orgasm, but just enough to keep him on edge, lusting at the near yet so far goal.

I ignore his pleadings, and pull out of him.

"On your stomach, now" I command him again.

He jumps quickly to do my bidding, lying on his stomach, on his knees, only his lower body lifted up, I kneel before his delectable arse, tracing my hands across the smooth flesh, I part his cheeks again and slip back in again, sheathing all of myself deep inside of him, his muscles convulse around me, drawing me in, caressing me. I set us again in a wonderfully rough rhythm.

He begins to whimper and moan, his body shaking. I quickly change the angle of my thrusts, hitting his pleasure spot, just once in a while; to feel him jolt around me, tighten for me. Keeping him on edge, never knowing when pleasure will strike him.

He is openly crying and begging me to finish him now, so I take pity on him, and aim towards that bundle of nerves deep inside of him, caressing it ruthlessly.

And then he cums, the pearly white drops shower our robes, his tight channel becomes even tighter around my hard manhood and I cum quickly, feeling his muscles spasm around me.

I moan then, a deep shuddering breath, and collapse on top of him.

Our sweat mingles together, the chilly morning air, swipes at our heated bodies with cruel precision, we both shudder, I get off of him slipping free from his bruised body. He doesn't even grimace, a smile of satisfaction and exhaustion on his otherwise serene face.

And I still can't hope but wish he was someone else.

We both lie side by side, panting, feeling our bodies cooling down, the sweat drying off, with the wind's persistent attentions.

"That was unbelievable, you are an incredible shag. Wait till the rest of the guys hear about this. We were talking about it all week, wondering what it would be like to fuck you. We heard the rumors, you know?"

My blood runs cold at his words, I knew this was just a fuck, but I knew nothing about the rumors, I didn't know everyone was talking about who I slept with or am sleeping with. Apparently some guys could not keep their mouths shut!

"Of course we had always thought you would bottom for us, not the other way around, but it was wonderful either way and I would like to do this again sometimes, how about Friday? I'm not doing anything important then, just this…"

He rambled on but I'm not listening anymore.

"Sure, whatever" I get up and start dressing, charming my torn and dirtied robes back to their former state of cleanliness and repair, I want to get out of here, suddenly the smell of our sweat and sex is revolting me, suffocating me, I need out, and now.

"I've gotta get back" I say, walking out not looking back, to see his face or to listen to any more of his rambling.

I can't go to our dormitories, just yet, I feel stupid, disgusted with myself and I want to wash his scent from me, I don't want to feel him on my skin anymore.

 But I walk outside first, my long legs carrying me easily across the grassy fields, and I soon find myself under my favorite enchanted apple tree. His long thick branches shade me from the sun, leaves sway gently in the cool breeze. I sit beneath its shade, leaning back against the trunk. Just relaxing, looking at the beauty of the sun washing over the green fields, watching Hagrid tend to a wounded unicorn, just outside of his hut, I wave at him, he waves back, a smile on his face.

I get up then and turn back towards the castle, knowing James would get mad at me if I didn't show, but I had to have a shower first.

First a shower then I'll be up to facing James and Remus.

God, I wonder what they think of me, sometimes. Do they see me as everyone else does? Tarred by the same brush? I couldn't bare it if they did, couldn't carry on. I know it sounds stupid, but I could take insults from anyone, anyone but them.

I enter the common room, quietly, running up to our dormitories, luckily unnoticed by them, as they are sitting huddled together their backs to the portrait.

I rush up the stairs and jump into our shower, quickly tearing off my clothes.

I grab the soap and start to wash myself, scrubbing furiously at my traitorous flesh.

I scrub my skin rough, trying to rid myself of the experience as well as the hurtful words, but I can not, no matter how hard I scrub.

I stop then, the water running over my reddened body, washing away the foamy remains of the soap.

A towel gripped tightly in my hands, I get out, and start drying off, walking back to our room. My eyes now catching the admiring and lustful gazes of several boys from my house that are currently in the hall. How could I not have seen this? How could I be so stupid as to think no one saw my actions? that no one knew just because it was done in private?

There was no privacy in a boarding school.

I lower my head and shut the door to my room behind me, dressing quickly and then running downstairs to join my friends where I feel safe, protected.

They welcome me back with a knowing smirk, but say nothing. Remus' hazel eyes looking hurt and angry, the silver in their depth outshining the gold crest.

I feel worse than before, to know I hurt Remmy, which I knew I would. He hated what I was doing, hated the crowed of young guys around me, hated that I didn't care who I slept with barely knowing more then their names.

He always told me I grew up too fast, and that I'm playing a dangerous game, a game for adults and that one day I might feel the burn of it.

And I know he is right, he is always right, but I can't help myself, I want this, I don't feel like a child with them, I feel strong, in control. I know I'm wanted, desired by them and the feeling is so addictive I lose all thought but the need to make them want me more, but I won't lie and say I don't enjoy the sex, I do.

I admit it now, I'm addicted to the pleasures of the flesh, I love to suck cock, to be fucked by one and to fuck guys, I enjoy it, lust after it and dream of it, I guess I really am the slut everyone thinks I am.

I just can't help myself.

With a final sigh, I sit next to James and they tell me all about their ideas, Remus is still silent beside me, but I can feel the angry tension in his body.

I sigh again and try to ignore my guilt as well as the wonderful feeling of his nearness, be he angry or not, I just want to be near him.

~ James p.o.v ~

there is no better feeling in the world, than flying through the air, the wind slashing at my face and body, my hair even more out of control than usual.

Sometimes I fear I might get lost, just fly away, forget about quidditch, about the quaffel and just fly away.

"And Slytherin score, 60-80 in favor of Slytherin, you cheating scum... Um sorry professor McGonagall, it just slipped out"

The voice of Lodmila Cassidy, a Gryffindor 4th year, breaks through the haze in my mind. Gryffindor losing? And to Slytherin? This was unacceptable.

It was the awaited and dreaded Saturday; we are finally playing against the Slytherins.

I plunge downward on my broom, stealing the quaffel from Leonard Bay, the Slytherin chaser, while dodging a bludger sent my way from Timothy Goyle, the Slytherin's stupid beater, he missed me but the bludger didn't miss Leonard's ugly face, bringing him down to the ground.

I laughed at their idiocy and flew straight at their cowardly keeper Craig Avery, who shivered at the look of fierceness on my face, almost backing away from the rings, I score easily, mocking him with my gaze, and thanking him loudly.

"Gryffindor scores 70-80, still in favor of the slimy Slytherins. Honest Professor I don't know what is coming over me, maybe someone cast a spell on me?"

I laugh merrily as I once again posses the quaffel, I'm being chased by Slytherin's three chasers now, I quickly faint them, by turning left and then right, before doubling back, passing the quaffel to Janine Cartwell, my fellow chaser. She rushes towards the rings and scores.

"Gryffindor score 80- 80, it's a tie! Huh! I told you, you can't win! Take that you filthy dungeon lovers! But professor you know it's true?"

Twenty minutes later we were leading 100-80 to Gryffindor, when I heard Lodmila announcing the end of the game. Katherine Sylvan, our lovely 3rd year, seeker had caught the snitch.

"Sylvan has the snitch! Game over, Gryffindor wins! You hear that you slimy cheating losers! Gryffindor wins!

"Control yourself Ms. Cassidy or you will no longer commenter on the quidditch games." Professor McGonagall's harsh voice could be heard through the speakers while she chided Lodmila, but I am too happy to care!

I land on the field gracefully, bowing before my admiring fans, before being jumped at by my team and squashed in a group hug, as well as suffering Pierce's long speech about how hard work pays. 

Finally I'm able to look up from the pile of human arms and legs that surround me to meet the eyes of my three loyal friends standing together just a few yards away from me, waiting to congratulate me.

I break free of the various embraces and walk towards them, my mind now firmly set on joining them, celebrating with them.

"You were wonderful as always" Remus compliments me, a beautiful smile on his handsome face, his eyes bright with excitement, he pats my shoulder fondly, I can already see the silver in his eyes dominating the hazel, the wolf is coming, only one more night to go before the full moon is upon us again.

"Oh, James, you were magnificent, absolutely the best!" next is Peter, he is talking animatedly, telling me about all the terrific moves I made, before hugging me tightly around the waist.

I break loose from Peter, turning towards my beautiful Sirius.

"Well at least you didn't fall on that skinny arse of yours. Were you day dreaming again?" he scolds me, a teasing smile on his luscious red lips.

"Maybe just a little?" I reply, trying my best to look sheepish but failing. We both laugh then and suddenly I'm engulfed in his strong arms again, I sigh and wrap my arms tightly around his back.

He whispers softly and quietly in my ear, so no one else can hear.

"You did really well today; I can't believe how amazing you are"

And I blush, trying to hide my flushed face in his firm shoulder, feeling the muscles in his strong arm tightening.

It is now a day after the quidditch game, Sunday, the night of the full moon is almost upon us.

I walk into the great hall, with Sirius by my side as always; I'm being congratulated and complimented, hands patting my shoulders, lips kissing my cheeks as my wonderful 2 female partners in quidditch come up to me, to compliment my excellent game.

"Oh James, you were absolutely magnificent"

"Yes he was" both Katherine and Janine, my female team mates, gush.

I smirk down at them, catching Sirius rolling his eyes in mock disgust, as he walks away from me towards our table.

But he doesn't make it there; instead he is stopped by a group of three lads, three Hufflepuff lads, known as john Blacksmith, Terry McCoy and Foulard Jackson, they are all 7th years.

I can see that they are talking, but Sirius doesn't seem to like what they are saying, the three lads are oblivious to his discomfort and continue on, one has the nerve to touch Sirius, his hand is caressing Sirius neck, massaging it lightly, instead of relaxing and leaning back towards the misleading comfort, Sirius stiffens in his arms, pushing away from them all, and trying to make it to our seat.

I see that Remus had also noticed the three lads and has already gotten up from his seat, making his way towards Sirius.

I kiss both Janine's and Katherine's cheeks fondly before excusing myself and rushing towards Sirius' aid, the rush of boiling anger in me, surprising me immensely.

Both Remus and I arrive together to Sirius' side, pushing away the three lads; they walk off confused, not before calling him a tease and a whore.

I want to rush towards them and beat them into a bloody pulp; I can see from the corner of my eye, Remus, also meaning to follow them, a look of unrestrained rage, transforming his handsome face to the terrifying image of the angry wolf I had encountered a total of 4 nights, in the past four months.

I know his emotions are high strung this close to the change, he is irritable and quick to lash out in anger, feeling tired yet restless, and this month is no different.

Sirius grabs both of us by the back of our robes.

"Don't even think about it, it's not worth it." he states clearly, but I know he is hurt, I can hear it in his tone, the trace of sadness, in the lilting harmony of the velvety voice. I turn to stare into his beautiful purple eyes, which forever seem to amaze me with their enchanting depth; I can see his beautiful soul, see his emotions reflected back at me, and I see the truth in those eyes.

I know him, like no one else can ever know him. There is a part of him that belongs to me, forever.

"I want to hurt them, siri, I can't help myself" I whisper quietly, just for him and for Remus' ears. Remy doesn't say a word, simply nods, his features still stained red from his rage.

"Leave it alone, I'm going outside, I lost my appetite" he says, before turning around and walking out of the great hall.

Remus turns to me then. "You better go after him, to make sure he is alright, I'll keep Peter here."

I nod my agreement and rush out of the great hall, hoping to easily spot Sirius' retreating form.

Luckily I spot him immediately, just a small figure leaning against that damned apple tree he loves so much. His black blue hair shining even brighter in the morning sun.

I make my way towards him hurriedly, calling out his name.

He glances up at the sound of his name.

I'm panting when I reach him; he smiles at me sadly, before telling me I'm completely out of shape if I pant at such a short run.

I stick my tongue out at him and we both laugh at my immature behavior.

"So tell me what happened? Why did they circle you like that?" I ask straight to the point.

"I don't know." I can tell he is lying, because he lowers his head.

"How long have I known you? Five years now, right? And you still think you can fool me?"

I say jokingly, a touch of seriousness in my voice, letting him know I'm not really joking, no.

"I heard something a few days ago, James. Remember last Sunday when I left with Jeffery from Gryffindor?"

I nod silently, waiting to hear what he has to say.

"You know what happened between us, right?"

I nod again; it was no secret to any of us, what Sirius was doing, though we all disapproved of it.

"Afterwards he started rambling on, about how he and his friends talk about me, about fucking me, then he told me that they were all interested to know because they heard rumors about me, about what I'm like. James, how could I not know? How could I be so stupid to think I could just do whoever I want and nobody will know about it? Am I really that naïve?"

"No, it's not true Sirius" I protest immediately.

"I wont deny that I had heard the rumors but I didn't want to say anything, it is nobody's business what you do, right? And besides I thought you were just ignoring them, which is why I never brought it up."

"You knew? And you didn't say anything?" he becomes angry now, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes now stormy with dumbfounded rage.

"I didn't want to hurt you, so I didn't say anything, I'm sorry I thought you knew"

I apologize, hoping that my explanation will calm him down, it did the opposite.

"How could you not tell me? All this time I'm the talk of the boys' locker room, and you never said a word? How could you?"

He gets up now, his body standing tall and stiff, shoulders set in an unrelenting pose.

"I thought it will all blow over, and it would have if you could control your raging hormones." I shout at him, losing the tight rein over my temper, when I feel he is no longer listening to me.

He glances up at me, his purple orbs reflecting the anguish he feels at my hurtful words.

"You think I'm a whore? Is that what you're trying to say?"

The rage in me melts away at his anguished words, the realization that I could really hurt him right now, that whatever I might say could affect our friendship forever, woke me up, like a splash of icy water. I knew I had to choose my words carefully.

"No, I never said that. You know I wouldn't say that. I just don't know why you do this, or maybe I do, and I don't like it. I don't like what Cameron did to you, I don't like it that you sleep around, neither does Remy, you deserve more. Why do you sell yourself so short?"

I had to say those things, I had to let them out, they had been suffocating me for months now.

We both stood facing each other but looking anywhere else, but into the other's eyes, the only sound around us is that of the whistling wind and the chirping of far away birds flying through the pale blue skies.

"You are right, I know that, I know you worry about me, but you shouldn't. I… I can't change the way I am. Cameron didn't do anything James, besides opening my eyes to a new world I didn't even know existed. I know you want the old me back, but he is gone James, there is only me now. So you can either accept me as I am, or let me go"

He looks into my eyes then, and turns away, walking back into the castle.

I'm standing here many minutes after he has left, wondering to myself.

Was he right? Am I really hanging on to a part of him that is no longer there? Has he changed so much right before my eyes?

No! I would know, I still know him, I still understand him, but I also comprehend his words now. He has changed, not a lot, but enough, enough for me to notice, and I failed to notice, didn't want to. But now I do.

I run back inside the castle, up the stairs to the Gryffindor dormitories, and that's where I find him, lying on his bed, the curtains closed, but I can see his left leg dangling down, now touching the floor, the same thing he used to do when he was younger.

I approached him, loudly so that he will be aware of my presence. I mean to pull back the curtains but he beats me to it, his deep soulful eyes bore into mine with fierce determination that almost paralyzes me with its strength.

"I'm sorry, you were right"

We look at each other, a small smile playing at the corner of our mouths.

"I'm sorry too" he says.

"Well, come here, you great lump." I tell him laughingly before we embrace each other, arms holding tightly, never wanting to let go, but there is nothing sexual about it. It's not about sex, it's about friendship.

We break apart gently, brushing non existence specks of dust from each other's robes, while avoiding looking straight into the other's eyes.

"I'm hungry, let's go and eat" I try to coax him into coming, after a few minutes he relents and we return to the great hall, sitting in our reserved seats.

Remus tactfully doesn't say a word, just piles our favorite foods onto our plate, smiling happily and chattering amicably with all of us.

Peter remains oblivious to the earlier incident, which helps us all to pretend that nothing happened, which we of course take advantage of.

~ Sirius p.o.v ~

He is following us around again, I saw him as soon as we left the great hall this evening.

His black eyes stalking us, wherever we go, like another presence in the room.

James refuses to believe that he is trailing us, no matter how hard I try to prove to him that our secret is in danger of exposure.

Perhaps I need to take care of this myself.

So I decide to approach him.

"I know what you're trying to do"

"Really? And what would that be?"

"You're following us, you better stop, or else."

"Or else what? You'll jinx me? I'm not afraid of you Black, and where is Lupin? Did he finally gain enough sense to dump your mud blood whorish arse? I do realize it's too late for Potter or Pettigrew, but I had such high hopes for Lupin."

For a moment all I see is red, as I contemplate, painful ways to eradicate him. I'm already up to hanging him by his toes and scrubbing acid all over his slimy figure, watching as the acid slowly disintegrate his youthful body, wiping away that despised smirk, when suddenly an idea comes to me.

Just to scare him, make him afraid to tangle with us, marauders, I tell him.

I tell him all about the shrieking shack, the tunnel and how to get passed the whomping willow.

Let him meet the wolf face to face. That will teach him to mind his own damned business.

~ Severus p.o.v ~

Black is a complete idiot, it took me less than two minutes to have him spill his beans.

And now I'm making my way to the whomping willow. It's so dark out here; I can barely distinguish where the school's grounds end and the forest start, but I dare not light my wand.

It is forbidden to be outside this late and if I'm caught I will surely be expelled, and I honestly can't bare the thought of returning home from school, expelled.

My father will never forgive me for disgracing the family name.

I stand before the whomping willow, it's branches swinging madly much like a drunk fighting for balance, and I find myself hesitating to come any closer, I did hear the tale of Davey Gudgeon who nearly lost an eye because he tried to touch the trunk of the whomping willow, and I like my eyes just were they are.

Maybe I should just forget it; it could be a setup orchestrated by Potter & Co.

I use a stick to touch the base of the trunk, the tree becomes still. I guess he didn't lie after all.

I see the tunnel at the base of the tree and I decide right then and there to move on. I have to know, the curiosity alone would kill me.

And so I climb in.

~ Sirius' p.o.v ~

Oh god! What have I done?

If he dies it's on my conscious, worse what will Remus do if he found out that I caused him to take a life? He will not recover from this.

And the ministry might try to kill him, no matter that his father is the head of magical creatures department, once Remus will take a life, he is as good as dead.

I have to tell James, he can fix this, he will know what to do.

I rush into the Gryffindor common room, where I find James and Peter already packed and ready to go on another adventure.

"There you are, well? Let's go, Remus is waiting for..."

"James, I did something very stupid"

I hastily interrupt him, watching as the excitement is washed away from his attractive face to be replaced by worry.

"What did you do?" he asks quietly as though afraid of the answer.

"I told Snape how to get to Remus; he is on his way there now. I only meant to scare him. I didn't think..."

I can't even finish my sentence before James starts to yell, and though I understand his anger, I can't help but selfishly fear for myself, for the friendship we share.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU DIDN'T! I CANT BELIEVE YOU! Well, let's go stop him, now!"

~ James' p.o.v ~

"I told Snape how to get to Remus; he is on his way there now. I only meant to scare him. I didn't think..."

For a minute there, I stopped breathing. I think my heart might have skipped a beat, but then my anger took over me, and I couldn't keep my self-control, couldn't believe Sirius would do such a horrible, dangerous and stupid act.

"DAMN RIGHT YOU DIDN'T! I CANT BELIEVE YOU! Well, let's go stop him, now!"

No time to think of the consequences when both Remus and Snape are in danger.

I rush out of the common room, running as fast as I can towards the whomping willow, behind me I can hear Peter's agonized breaths, and Sirius' steady strides as we run together.

Nothing else occupies my mind but getting to the whomping willow and stopping Snape before its too late. Before life as we know it is over.

~ Severus' p.o.v ~

I'm walking into the shrieking shack, quietly, making sure not to make a sound.

The shack looks exactly as I imagined it, broken furniture, dirt and cobwebs.

The full moon's beams slither inside through the cracks from the nailed shut window.

Everything seems to come alive at the touch of the moon's rays.

And then I hear it, a growl, a deep inhuman growl.

I turn around slowly, my heart beating furiously, my senses telling me to run, but I'm too paralyzed to move, my muscles become tense as lade, yet I cannot move.

I remain frozen not daring to believe what is right in front of me.

~ Peter's p.o.v ~

I have never been so scared of anything in my life, as I am right this second, I'm rushing down the stairs following James' lead, on a mission to rescue Severus Snape, can you believe that? James' mortal enemy.

"Peter, go get Dumbledore, now, its flubber gum this week!"

I don't even dare to object and we part by the third floor (the floor where Dumbledore's room resides) while he and Sirius rush outside as fast as they can.

"Flubber gum" I say quickly, staring at the door, as it slowly opens, trying to appear somewhat calm, while I'm thinking up a likely story to explain it all.

I race inside as soon as the door opens enough to allow me safe passage and race up the stairs.

I halt quickly as I suddenly realize that professor Dumbledore is awake and sitting at his desk, his blue eyes twinkling up at me, a questioning look on his knowing face, and I blurt it out.

"Sirius told snape how to get inside the shrieking shack, he has gone to Remus"

~ James' p.o.v ~

"Idiot, reckless idiot" I mutter under my breath as we reach the whomping willow, Sirius is a silent shadow by my side.

The tree is frozen, which to me can only mean that there is still hope for everything to be saved, he had just entered the tunnel, otherwise the tree would have gone back to its swinging ways.

I waste no time getting past the tree, into the tunnel, racing inside the shack.

"OH MY GOD!"

That is Snape's voice, he must have seen moony, as predicted the yell is followed by a murderous growl.

Moony had found a worthy prey tonight, and he saw nothing but blood before him. I had to do something.

I jumped in, Sirius' scream of horror haunting my entrance, but I had to try.

~ Severus' p.o.v ~

Oh... My … god.

I had began to tremble, could not think straight. And who can blame me? Before me stood a fully grown silver spotted wolf, I knew immediately it was Lupin, but I could not laugh at my stupidity, all I could do was stare, frightened beyond belief.

It is moving towards me now, in small measured steps. His mouth open, baring the frightening large fangs, a constant growl ringing through the small stuffy shack.

My eyes staring at the ember eyes of the boy I knew, not a touch of humanity left to ascertain me of Lupin's existence in this body. I fear even more.

I have to run or I am going to die. That is a certainty.

It was a setup! My mind was railing inside of me. They tricked you, they want to kill you, you have to run, you have to save yourself.

They will be expelled and you... a hero!

The rage that boiled within me roused me enough so that I could quickly enlist the aid of my legs in running.

I ran towards the door, from whence I had entered. The wolf was fast on my heels, almost on me.

In my paranoia I swore I could feel his scolding breath attacking the back of my neck, which made me run even faster.

The growl became louder, he was getting closer.

I could not hold the scream of terror that burst forth from me, I gave them the satisfaction of knowing that they had scared me, but now is not the time to deal with my new shame, my weakness.

"OH MY GOD!"

~ Peter's p.o.v ~

Dumbledore walked as fast as he could beside me, his usually sunny countenance now cold and stone like.

As cold as the freezing night time breeze.

And then we both heard the scream.

"OH MY GOD!"

We glanced at each other in apprehension and raced as fast as we could.

We arrived a few minutes later, to find James' sprawled on the ground with Snape lying beside him, both panting and shocked. Beside James sat Sirius a look of anguish aging him beyond his 15 years of age.

No one said a word for a minute, before all hell broke lose.

~ James' p.o.v ~

I saw him, running towards me, Remus on his heels, he saw me and almost stopped a look of such fear and loathing on his face, I felt almost willing to give my life for his, only to not see that look again, ever.

I pulled him when he meant to stop, my arm grabbing him by his wrist and I dragged him with me as fast as possible outside, moony still growling fiercely in our ears, his cruel breaths tracking our flailing limbs.

And then Snape slipped, his body almost falling, almost stopping.

The mere thought of stopping even for a brief millisecond scared me beyond belief. I pulled him up before he could fall. Pushed him in front of me and continued shoving him, only one target lay before me, one goal, to reach the end of the tunnel, to reach the whomping willow, safety.

Something had struck my left shoulder hard, almost disturbing my balance, ripping pieces of my school robes. A burning pain traveled through my bruised shoulder combined with a trickling fluid, crawling down my back and waist.

I dared not stop, I ignored the pain, the end was near, I could already see the full moon shining bright, sparkling through the cloudless skies.

The world was euphoric; I almost succumbed to the feeling of calmness that spread through me and the first whip of fresh cool air, only to jerk awake from my delusions by yet another growl, so near, its vibrations traveled up my left thigh. Moony was closing in on us, we rushed faster, our lungs near bursting from the agony of our panted breaths, but safety is so near.

We manage to reach the tree just as it begins to move, watching in fascinated  relief as the wolf, encountering the now alive tree, backs off towards the shack with a final growl.

I collapse then, Snape beside me and we pant softly. I can't believe what had just happened, my mind too tired to even attempt to comprehend the painful recollections of tonight's horrific tale.

Professor Dumbledore arrives on the scene.

~ Sirius' p.o.v ~

"They tried to kill me! They were all in on it professor, he is a werewolf! He tried to kill me!"

The walk to Dumbledore's office was done in complete silence. In fact we haven't said a word to each other since James' miraculous save, and Dumbledore's timely arrival on the scene, but I knew things could only get ugly from here, and I deserved it, I was to blame for everything.

Should James, Peter and Remus choose never to speak to me again, I would completely understand.

We sat quietly for a few minutes before, Snape finally overcoming his emotions had started screaming.

For once in my life I actually felt bad for something I did to him, he may be a greasy git but he didn't deserve this.

The note of panic in his voice, and his overgrowing hysteria made me flinch in sympathy.

I hate what I did! Despise myself for it.

I looked at James sitting on the far end of the room, for once since we have known each other; he wasn't sitting next to me, he wasn't even looking at me. His handsome face set in a tight cold expression, which I had never before witness, it seemed he was simply simmering in fury, slowly building up his rage, which I knew for sure I will feel the burn of it when we finally return to our rooms.

He didn't look at me at all, his body turned completely towards Dumbledore, Peter sitting silently by his side, where I used to sit.

And then finally a thought occurred to me, what will become of me?

Surely Professor Dumbledore will expel me, right?

What would I do? Who would have thought that in a few seconds I had nearly gotten my worst enemy and my best friend killed, as well as putting my other werewolf friend in inconsiderable danger, all the while breaking about a dozen school rules which will ultimately land me with expulsion?

I am an idiot, but I will soon be an expelled ex-potentially wizard back to the ordinary muggle world, left with nothing but my memories of the best time of my life, without my best friends in the world.

Oh god what will I do?

"Mr. Snape, you must calm yourself" admonished professor Dumbledore before he turned to us and asked how it all began.

"It was me professor, all my fault, they had nothing to do with this" I replied quickly before James or Peter could think of a new version of the story.

"I told Snape how to get past the whomping willow, I just meant terrify him that's all, I didn't think he might get hurt, I'm sorry."

"What happened then Mister Black?" Dumbledore asked me, his voice quiet yet firm, his angry eyes, trained on me, no longer twinkling in merriment.

"I realized what I had done, I ran to James and told him, and then Peter went to call you Sir and me and James ran towards the whomping willow, hoping to stop Snape, but we were too late, and James jumped in and saved him"

I was rambling, my mind so tired yet anxious, but I was too terrified to even consider sleep.

Silence reined again, before professor Dumbledore, quickly sworn Snape to secrecy, by threatening him with expulsion for violating a cardinal school rule, no leaving the castle past curfew on the night of the full moon.

The wrath in Snape's face was terrifying, he turned his accusatory gaze at me, and I couldn't even flinch, I deserved his hatred more than ever before.

Snape and James were then dispatched to the infirmary, to ensure they had come to no harm, though I could now see the vicious looking cut on James shoulder, the claw marks staining his robes, leaving them in tatters across his back and left shoulder. He left. Not looking back at me.

Peter was sent moments later to our dorms, and I was left alone to face Dumbledore's wrath.

I breathed deeply, and raised my head to look at Dumbledore's cold and rigid face, squaring my shoulders I decided that whatever happened here tonight I will bare the consequences and take responsibility for my own foolish acts.

"What were you thinking Mr. Black?" he asked softly.

"I was angry Sir; I don't think I was thinking at all." I replied honestly.

"I'm going to have to punish you severely, you are aware of this right?"

"Yes sir, I wish to ask sir, what will happen to Remus? Won't the ministry have to get involved? What if they kill him sir?" I was rushing ahead of myself; the full implications of my stupidity finally became clear to me.

"Calm down Sirius, Mr. Lupin is safe."  A rare smile of understanding gracing his aging features; suddenly I realized he will not live forever. As a child since I had known him and had spent many days in his office, I had always thought of him as this eternal being, it's frightening to realize he is as human as me.

"Thank you Sir, I had better go to my room and start packing, I expect I will be leaving tomorrow morning."

I stood up, a deep sadness filling my heart, weighing me down, but I walked to the door anyway, ignoring the burning pain in my heart.

"I'm not expelling you Mister Black, I will punish you severely but I will not expel you. I believe it will be such a waste, but mostly I believe you meant no harm, you were just not thinking straight, which is quite common for you Mister Black, quite common indeed."

Tears had begun pooling in my eyes, I wasn't being expelled, I could stay!

The joy in me at this revelation warred with the deep sadness and dread at having to face my friends soon to account for my horribly unforgivable actions.

"Thank you professor, it means so much to me to be here" I admitted tearfully, looking everywhere but at him, my head lowering to the floor in defeat.

"As for your punishment, you will serve detention every day till the end of the year with Professor Dale. You are also banned from all school activities, including Hogsmead visits till the end of the year. I think it will not be wise to take any points from either Gryffindor or Slytherin for it will make the students wonder, and that I wish to prevent, that will be all. I fear that no punishment I can give you will compare to the admonishment you will suffer at your friends' hands. For now I suggest you get some sleep. Report at Professor Dale's office tomorrow at 6pm."

I nodded softly, my mind already on the dreaded conversation with my friends.

I walked up the stairs to my room, amazed that the world seemed so unchanged, I thought it would all be different, that the event that has changed my life, will leave some impact on the world around me, but it did not. The halls were as dark as before, the air still smelling of sweet melting wax, from burnt down candles, the sound of my feet on the stone floor, were as loud as before, the world didn't change, but I did.

~ Remus' p.o.v ~

Something feels different, strange. My body ached so much since I first woke, that I feared moving, I was sure I had broken a few bones, the scent of my own blood pounding into my tired senses.

Something bad had happened, my pack did not show, the wolf had taken over again, this time I had no recollection at all of last night, nothing except a worrying sensation, a blood hunger so fiercely that I knew I had a prey, I had a human prey in my vicinity. It must have gotten away or this blood lust would have been assuaged.

I breathed in pained relief, the person that I had been after, is still alive and well, since I had bitten only myself.

Suddenly I felt a presence in the room with me, someone was occupying the bed next to mine, I looked at the figure lying in bed, covered with a blanket from head to toe, only a bush of unruly black hair could be seen from under the bundling mess.

I recognize the messy hair immediately, James.

But what was James doing here? Is he injured?

I tried getting up but I couldn't, I felt the skin of my new patched wounds stretch painfully, my bones ached, I was sure if I took one step I would collapse, I had no strength in me.

"James! James!" I called, but the black haired head would not stir.

"Oh James, please wake up, tell me I didn't hurt you, oh god please!" I was becoming hysterical, which must have roused James from his deep slumber.

"What? Oh Rem, I'm up, how are you?"

Only James could lie in the hospital wing beside you and ask you how you are doing. I looked at his now reclining figure, searching for any visible injury, I saw it immediately, a white bandage was wrapped around James' left shoulder, his eyes stared at me blearily for a few seconds while he assessed my injuries.

"You look really bad Rem"

"I feel it too, what happened James? Did I hurt you?"

James sighed deeply, his face turned away from me, but I could sense a deep sadness in him, it was visible through the sudden droop of his proud shoulders, the proud head, lowered as well, a grim look on his strong features.

And then he looked up, the sadness in his eyes knew no bound and he began to speak, telling me of Sirius indiscretion, betrayal, saving Snape's life, getting scratched by me, everything.

I was in a daze, this was not real, Sirius would never betray me like this, never. But he did! He did! He put my life at risk; he betrayed my trust, my love.

But I could summon no anger just a deep unrelenting anguish.

Our conversation came to a halt at Madam Pomfery's entrance, she checked on James first, assessing his condition and soon deemed him well enough to return to his classes.

I watched James quickly dressing, and leaving, his sad eyes trained on me, sending a silent message, we will talk about this when all is well again, his eyes said. But nothing will ever be well again. Sirius, my beautiful Sirius had betrayed me.

I wanted to cry but I couldn't, not in front of Madam Pomfery. She was talking to me, telling me about my condition, broken leg, arm and a rib, bitten my wrist raw, she said. I wasn't listening, my mind locked inside a whirl of anguish. I was to stay here for at least another day, she said.

That was good; I feared having to face him so soon, with my heart bleeding so profusely in my chest, the ache so much more profound.

I felt too vulnerable, but too in love, and I knew that should he appear now with a plate of food for me and an apologetic sad look in his eyes, I would forgive him, he will need not say a word, I will forgive him.

I had to be away from him, to cry, to bleed to feel the anger in me simmer and boil to a bursting point, so that I could defend myself, so I would have the strength to face his beauty and hold fast to my resolve, this betrayal can not be undone with the mere loveliness of his god-like features.

And then I cried, my mouth biting down on my blanket so I will make no sound, the tears already pouring from my tired eyes, staining my cheeks, my lips, and the blanket, clutched tightly between my lips.

I cried for hours it seemed, I could not stop, my heart felt broken, completely shattered, but I loved him still, and for that I cried even more. Stupid, foolish me, to be betrayed yet locked forever in the spell of love I felt for my betrayer.

And all I could think of is black blue silky locks, sun kissed skin, deep purple eyes, and a sunny smile between full red lips. Sirius, my lost love.

~ James' p.o.v ~

I hadn't spoken to Sirius all day, I knew that we would have to talk about this, that if we didn't the anger and pain in me will consume me, eat me alive, but still I waited patiently for Remus' release from the infirmary.

It took another day, but Remus was released that late afternoon.

We all met in our room, Sirius included.

The silence stretched painfully on, as no one knew what to say, was it the end for our friendship? I hoped not, it was even more painful to bear.

Sirius sat far from us, on his bed, while we all stood next to Peter's bed, on the far corner of the room, and then Remus spoke, his voice full of pain and astonishment, as though he could think of nothing else but this pain, it was so deeply rooted within him, that he could only speak softly, voice barely overheard above the loud rumble of hungry students rushing towards dinner.

"You betrayed me. I trusted you and you put my life at risk, I almost killed snape and James, because of your recklessness. Did you even care? Was I nothing to you? Our friendship nothing?"

He demanded, his voice icy cold, his eyes, burning with liquid fire, scorching his eyes. All the attention in the room turned towards Sirius' who was still sitting still, his head lowered, gaze locked on the floor, he said nothing, not even an apology, he seemed defeated, which made my heart ache further.

"Answer me! Look at me! I need to know this" Remus demanded, his voice rising with his anger.

He looked up then, tears streaming down his golden cheeks, his purple eyes, so dark they seemed like empty black holes in his face, long lashes, so dark they conflicted with the unhealthy glow of his skin beneath his deep golden tan.

"I didn't mean it, I'm sorry, I didn't know, didn't think" he was rambling, his mind not really with us.

I knew that Dumbledore had not expelled him, but his punishment was quite severe, as Peter had heard from Sirius himself last night.

Sirius looked tired and drawn, almost haggard, his beauty even more pronounced by his staggering grief.

He had not slept since it happened, had not eaten, I worried for him, but I knew I could not let my love for him interfere. What he did was unforgivable, but I knew we would forgive, how could we not?

Remus remained silent then, the sight of Sirius' tears disarming him, Sirius rarely cried if ever, and to see him in such an uncharacteristic way, was too hard to ignore, too difficult to remain angry.

And so Remus opened his mouth again, his voice soft but sorrowful, as he told Sirius of his decision.

"I think we should keep our distance for a while, not speak, maybe we can move forward after this, I don't know, but right now, the pain of what you did, Sirius, is just too great for me to easily forgive, you almost made a killer out of me, my worst nightmares, almost came true, with the aid of the lad I was sure was my best friend. So I think it will be best to let it go for now, to stay away for a while." He finished with a deep sigh, and I knew I would back him up, as much as I love Sirius I could not simply ignore this incident.

That it put a dent in our friendship? Sure. That it was broken forever? I hoped not.

"I understand, I will move my things to another room by the end of dinner."

He said, with such immense sadness, and defeat, that I knew he was blaming himself, torturing himself inside his head, and I knew being away from us, will allow him to sink further, but I couldn't bring myself to stop him.

Dinner that night, was a deadly quiet affair, Sirius hadn't bothered showing up at all, though both me and Remmy looked anxiously at the entrance, waiting until the meal had ended, the dishes cleared away, but still he did not come.

When we arrived to our room, all of Sirius' belongings were gone, he had moved out as promised, the room, now bore no mark of his presence, not even a faint breath of his sweet, yet masculine scent.

I sighed, and sat down on the now made bed, that no longer housed Sirius' wonderful warmth and beauty, even the covers no longer carried his unique odor. It was empty, much like the side of his room, now seemed.

There were no shoes carelessly tossed around, no clothes covering his side of the room, no prank materials and dribbled scrunched up papers, of new ideas for pranks, or cute doodles littering the floor.

I fought away my tears, feeling Remus' comforting weight next to me, as he sat down by my side, his hands pulling mine into his lap, simple holding them gently, I knew he felt my pain, I could feel it vibrating from him.

We sat there for many minutes, not saying a word, but I knew there was only one horribly disturbing thought in our minds.

Was this the end of the marauders?

God I hope not.

Well that is all, I hope you liked it, please review, I live of your kind words of wisdom. It also really helps my ego, so please be kind enough to drop me a line.

Next in Of Beauty: rumors, a very interesting party, a new love interest for Sirius, the end of the school year, and will the marauders finally reconcile? All of that and more on the next chapter of: Of Beauty.

Must warn you though it will be R for a reason.

I'd also like to thank those of you who took the time to review:

Shadow Shi13- lol, don't worry the chapter is still here. I'm really glad you liked the love triangle between James, Remus and Sirius; I was worried it might not go down very well.

Thank you, I hope you will continue to review, even if it's only praise, I definitely need it!

Elena Marie-don't worry Sirius and Remus will be together soon, though I can't promise that they will not have a hard time, I am an evil slash writer, am I not?  J

Cymbul- a new reader? Wow, I'm honored, and you cut right to the chase, all I can say right now, is that if you want to know why Sirius was screaming, you should look for the clues I left in previous chapters, the answer will appear in later chapters, but the hints can be seen in these chapters.

Hope you will enjoy this chapter as well, and I hope you will review and let me know what you thought.