Of Beauty

by FunkyCharms21

The life of Sirius Black from 4th year. will be SLASH.final Remus/Sirius

8. Adventures In Voyeurism

Of beauty – by FunkyCharms21

Disclaimer: I own nothing it all belongs to the wonderful J.K Rowling!

Summery: the life of Sirius black- from 4th year in Hogwarts, this is a slash story with multiple partners (my characters) and eventual Remus/ Sirius. Told from many different points of views.

Warning: very graphical sex scene and underage sex, if you are too young or sickened by the thought of two men together in sexual situations, leave now!

Rating: R (very graphic/under age sex)

Chapter 8 – Adventures In Voyeurism

"Oh my god! Did you hear about the maradures?"

"I heard Sirius turned them all into mice as a prank, you know? So they won't talk to him now."

"I heard he slept with all of them, and lied to them, said they were the only ones"

"That's a likely story, he is such a slut! Martin Higelbow from Hufflepuff said he slept with almost every 7th year in all of the houses!"

"No way! Really?"

"I heard he slept with Snape and dumped him, that's why he hates him so much!"

"That's why the marauders are mad at him, they must have found out about it!"

" I heard it had nothing to do with that, it was because he dumped them all in the forbidden forest without their wands as a prank and James and Remus got hurt! Fred Plenary saw them both in the infirmary two days ago…"

~ James' p.o.v ~

I haven't talked to him in 49 hours and 55 minutes, 56 minutes.

The whispers sound vicious and vindictive to my pained heart.

I long to stand up in his defense, but my guilt holds me back.

How can I miss him so much, yet wish to distance myself even further?

I try to make sense of all that has happened, and I find myself lacking, we all are, lacking, that is.

The halls of Hogwarts seem dull and colorless without his charismatic presence.

Remus walks by my side in faithful silence, my quiet solace.

Transfiguration never seems more tedious and uninspiring as today.

McGonagall's strict voice carries over me in flowing rivulets of water, falsely lolling me to promised sanity.

This is madness. He sits but a few seats to my left, head bowed down over his books. Luscious black curls, protectively guarding his soulful purple eyes.

I had never seen him so still, so quiet; he seems almost like a statue, his beauty pain wracking and sorrowful, but not real, lifeless.

I can't help but stare at him, coaxing him with my mind to meet my eyes, to smile at me, beautiful full red lips, stretch to allow white even teeth, to show, to sparkle in the sun.

But he doesn't look up, his stare is almost dreamlike, as he glares pointedly at the book on his desk, his long elegant fingers, trace across the open book's pages, a perfect picture of studious bliss, but I know better.

The bell rings, we are excused to lunch, but I can't bear to face the whispers, the rumors, they make it all seem so real, so final. I don't want it to be final, I go there anyway.

Remus' comforting presence guides me, his strong hand on my shoulder, gently squeezing. Peter scurries behind us, his excited chatter hurts my delicate ears, his voice sounds so shrill in my quiet existence.

But I remain silent.

~ Sirius' p.o.v ~

Did I hear the rumors? Yes I did, but surprisingly I can't bring myself to care.

I've been called names, degraded, insulted and judged, all behind my back.

To my face, they say nothing, they touch me, hug me, pester me with fake smiles of false sympathy, I wish to drown away, but I'm on steady land.

I walk like a shadow through these halls, I can't smile. Can't think, it's hard to separate what is real and what is trickery.

Were James' eyes on me this morning, or am I imagining?

I must be, but that pale blue stare is so well known to me, so familiar.

I walk to my dorm room that I now share with several 5th years from various houses 2 from Ravenclaw, 1 from Hufflepuff and another from Gryffindor, all rejected from their houses and I feel anonymous in this room.

They know nothing of what has happened; only what they hear from the careless whispers traveling the school, they condemn me with their eyes, but I feel secure. They don't know the depth of my betrayal; their accusing looks hold no power over me.

There is freedom in that, for which I'm grateful.

"Just so you know I don't believe any of the rumors about you, but I'd love to have a chat with you, you can tell me anything you want.."

It's a day later now; the rumors have reached all of the school, from first year to the last of the faculty members.

The approaches begin. First a nosey fifth year girl by the name of Penelope Brosweather, with phony understanding to hide her gossipy nature, tries to wring the truth from me, but I brush her off.

Then by more lewd suggestion, from the horny male population of Hogwarts that consists of surprisingly a frightening amount of 6th to 7th year Slytherins.

I decline them all.

The group of horny lads, is followed by none other then seemingly caring Hufflepuff girls, all on a crusade to save my tortured soul, I feel close to bursting when asked for the million times in this hour alone, whether I feel I need to talk.

Had I made such a bad reputation for myself that I am now by this reputation judged?

I had began to miss meals, just to avoid sitting in the great hall, the staring, the pointing, the vulgar remarks, don't bother me, the distance I must keep from my friends does. To sit at the edge of the Gryffindor table, where once me and James had claimed the middle, hurts beyond measure.

To watch my friends laugh from the sidelines, no longer a part of pranks, jokes and foolish secrets, you know you will treasure to your grave, but it is no longer mine to keep, this pain is weighing me down.

Sleep evades me more often now; nightmares pursue me in my fitful slumber, so much that I fear sleep more than my overwhelming exhaustion, more then staying awake to face another day.

Where there were Remus and James to calm and sooth there is no one now.

I recall nothing of what I had dreamed, nothing but snakes and green lights. At times, I fear my sanity wavers upon the edge of a knife, all but a touch shall tumble me blindly over the edge, and I know not whether I wish it or not.

And so I mourn, no other word can describe my pain better, but I can't bring myself to hate them, not even at gunpoint, and so I hate myself instead. I loathe my recklessness, my lack of control, and wonder at my arrogance, my self assured idiocy, but I never doubt their claim, never doubt their pain and my guilt in causing it.

The week has finally ended and I had done my detentions under Professor Dale's watchful eye. Yet no manual, degrading assignment I was ordered to do made me feel better, I had not yet served my punishment.

The weekend arrived and with it brought me a blessed release. I had nowhere I needed to be, no classes, no detention, I didn't have to face anyone, the thought brought me so much comfort I was amazed at myself.

And so I found myself at my regular thinking spot, leaning against the sturdy trunk of my favorite apple tree, buskin in it's shaded warmth, it's strong branches shade me protectively not only against the sun, but against the outside world.

I spend hours lying on the moss covered ground, my eyes glued to another book, a quill in one hand and a blank parchment in the other, as I work on completing my homework and extra chores I received as part of my punishment.

The hours pass so quickly, the sunset, leaving in it's passing a cold damp wind, that rudely lashed at my under clothed body. I shiver at its relentless assault, but I cannot bare to leave this haven for the cold halls and recriminations I know awaits me, and so I stay, my quill scratching continuously on my parchment as I finish essay after essay.

I missed my meals, my growling stomach alerts me, but I still refuse to leave, my homework lie finished on the grass-covered floor, but I still would not budge.

The stars sparkled at me from their heavenly perch in the sky; the moon now no more than a thin line in the atmosphere, shrouded the ground with blue streaks of light. I cuddle closer to the ground, letting the comforting warmth loll me into sleep. The hour is late.

I was walking through a village, it was unrecognizable to me, but it was burning, the smoke stung my eyes, filled my throat until I could do naught but cough.

The fire ate and consumed the little houses, painting the remains black.

No living thing lingered to walk through the burned destruction, none but me.

I could feel a presence around me, something powerful but so evil. A sharp coldness had invaded my body, stealing away the warmth of the fire. I knew the cold was not of my own make, not of my fear, it was that entity.

I swiveled around trying to locate it, but all I saw was fire, surrounding me, circling me, the smoke rise again making me cough, my throat sore already, my eyes tearing.

And then I saw it, I didn't know what it was, I turned away, but it was everywhere, controlling the fire around me, encouraging it to rise against me, to devour me.

The fire changed suddenly to form a face, a snakelike face, the fire crackling around the face was an unnatural green.

The snake-like face raced towards me, it had black sinister eyes, and a toothless mouth, I opened my mouth to scream, as a hand made of green flame reached towards me...

I was being shaken to wakefulness but I feared to open my eyes.

"Sirius, wake up, you are dreaming"

I jumped at the sound of Dumbledore's voice so close to my ear, my eyes opened in a frightened hurry, seeking around me the green flame, the burned village and the snake-like face. I found none.

"Professor, did you see it? The green flame? The snake-like face?"

For a minute Dumbledore said not a word, his ageless sparkling blue eyes trained on my own wary gaze, before he spoke.

"How long have you had this dream, Mister Black?" his voice was soft but demanding, I found myself answering before I had even contemplated his question, much less my own answer to it.

"Several months now, sir, but.."

"But?" he questioned quietly. Should I tell him?

"But I have always had these nightmares, not always about the same thing, but always when I'm in Hogwarts, sir".

He stared at me then, his look calculating, I had never seen him look at anyone thus, and so I took a step back from him.

He smiled at me sheepishly then.

"Go to your dorm room, Sirius, and do try not to fall asleep outside at night, you don't want to break more school rules, do you?"

"No sir, I won't do it again."

"Good."

I left hurriedly, the coldness that invaded me in my dream, still clung to my now fully woken body.

I turned back to see Dumbledore standing exactly where I had left him, his head upturned towards the night sky. I left.

I walked into my dorm room quietly, trying not to wake my roommates.

Groping my way to bed through the thick darkness of the room, I ran straight into a solid warm body.

"OH"

I couldn't hold back a yelp of surprise.

Suddenly, the candles in the room sprung to life, I jumped back, feeling surrounded by flame looking for the snake-like face with it's green flamed hand, there was none.

Before me stood a shamefaced house elf, he wore a dirty plaid blanket, whose colors had long since faded into dark smudges of unrecognizable stains.

"Nomry meant no harm young sir, Nomry was sent to give you this sir"

I looked down at his hands; he was carrying a tray with steaming food, a glass of fresh pumpkin juice and a bottle of some sort of potion.

"What is all of this Nomry?" I asked politely.

"Headmaster says you must eat it all and drink potion, then go to sleep, sir, he said to Nomry to not leave until you do. Nomry will never defy headmaster."

"I see." I said sitting down on my bed, I sighed and than looked up at Nomry's big brown eyes, my stomach growled protesting at the enticing smell of well-cooked chicken with steamed vegetables and mash potatoes.

I gratefully took the tray and laid it on my knees, thanking Nomry quietly, asking him to please sit down. It seemed stupid for him to stand and wait for me to finish eating, and also highly uncomfortable for us both.

His big brown eyes looked up at me in surprise before he sat down on the ground, I invited him, to sit on my bed, he looked at me hesitantly before moving to sit by my side.

I devoured my meal and thanked him; I hadn't realized how hungry I was until after I had finished my meal.

I drank the potion he had given me wordlessly, before thanking him and curling into the comfort of my strange, new bed.

A warmth filled my body instantly, as I suddenly yawned deeply, my eyes drooping quickly until it became a struggle to keep them opened, in mere seconds I knew no more.

~ Remus' p.o.v ~

The anger in me had not yet dwindled away; I cling to it in desperate need, the rage keeps my anguish at bay, protects me from the cold harsh reality that threatens my sanity.

He could not have meant to hurt me; I know it to be true.

I miss his warm sunny presence around me, by my side. I miss comforting him after a night of haunting nightmares, his warm shaking body, wrapped tightly around me, his sleepy intoxicating fragrance, creating a circle of comfort around us, as he slowly drifts back to sleep in my arms.

I miss waking up to look at his bed, each morning, as his stark white pillow, graced with the sun's early rays, shone, with glittering black-blue flame that was his silky curls.

I miss everything that is him, his quirky sense of humor, his indescribable loveliness, his fake bravado that hid his vulnerable inner beauty.

I barely see him now; he no longer eats at the great hall, no longer studies in the library, and no longer shares a room with us.

I had heard the petty whispers, and my heart had raged and ached at the acute viciousness of my peers, but I could not say a word, and for that I ached even more.

The day began as any other day, another morning without my sun god by my side, I looked across at his empty bed, hoping against hope to see a flash of blue flame, but there was none.

I got up and followed the slumped figure of James Potter, my dear friend that suffers as much if not more than me, behind us trailed Peter, his mind already consumed with breakfast. I knew I would not eat a morsel of food today.

We sat at our regular place, in the middle, the seat next to me, remained empty, in waiting for Sirius' return to us.

James' eyes as well as mine lingered on the entrance door all through breakfast, in hopes of catching a glimpse of the tall form of our lost friend. He never showed up.

The day continued in it's dull and monotone course. We went from class to class, catching mere glances of grief stricken purple eyes, broad slumped shoulders, and bitten red lips.

He sat apart from us, at the side furthest from us in each class, he disappeared each time as soon as the bell had ringed, and it was on to the next class.

The day ended swiftly, but I could find no comfort in the mere glimpses of him, I needed to feast my eyes on his beautiful form, to memorize every dimple, every little shade of color that covered the surface of his eyes, every twitch of muscle in his body. To commit to memory, his sweet sensual voice, the sultry way his strong body moved, I had to keep his beauty and charm alive in my heart.

The urge to see him grew on a daily basis, until not even my rage could hold my heartache at bade.

And so I went to search for him, to seek him out at his favorite hiding place, beneath the charmed apple tree, near the forbidden forest, and I found him there instantly, only… he was not alone.

~ Peter's p.o.v ~

Was I regretting the sudden break up of the mighty marauders?

To tell the truth, no!

One might ask me why I feel no remorse or acute sadness even?

I find it important to say I had never felt mighty nor a true marauder in all my time spent in Hogwarts.

To live ones life from one praise to another, is a life of emotional roller coaster, I longed to be let off the ride.

Without Sirius' charming presence I had a place in this group, I was a person.

You see, Sirius steals the breath away from everyone, sucks the air from my existence, and he can't be blamed for it, really.

But I have a place here, now, with him gone, James is mine, and there is air for me, there is still breath for me.

So I don't hate him, I just resent him. I resent how he caught their hearts in his greedy but elegant hand, I resent being shoved to the sidelines by his magnificence, but the catch is that the same beauty blinds me. I am distracted by the same aura he releases into the atmosphere.

I had tried once, only once to compete for his affection, but his sharp mind and unchallengeable intellect had pierced through my attempt. He left me floundering behind, clutching at imaginary straws, and I clung to James even more.

And so the marauders stay divided, and I breathe freely of air charged with the sweet fragrance of freedom, and I feel no remorse.

And so I walk beside them, my chatter light-hearted and carefree as I cling to James with a new confidence that I only now am able to know.

And for that I refuse to feel remorse.

Who are you to judge me?

~ Sirius' p.o.v ~

And so I sit here again. Ever since I had first fallen asleep beneath my tree and consequently had my run in with Dumbledore, my faithful companion Nomry has continuously delivered my meals to me, each morning, each noon and each evening.

The only being aside from the faculty and a few stray souls, who looked at me as a human being, a teenager, even. But I was not mocked for my weaknesses, nor frowned upon, and I found myself nearly weeping for joy at the ignorance I faced.

I sat beneath my tree in relative peace, as much as I could muster in this horrid situation I had placed myself in. but a shadow had now appeared before me, blocking the sun from my face, disrupting my serene world.

Annoyed, I looked up into the smiling face of Matthew Beaker, brown eyes twinkling merrily.

He sat down by my side, silently; I looked at him, a sour look of expectation on my face, as I waited to hear him say what I had heard from many others before.

I waited for him to offer sympathy, or perhaps a well-deserved shag that will "make me feel better", but none came.

"How would you like to sneak into Hogsmead with me to an exclusive party being held by none other then milioner Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third. It's the best party, it has booze, hot lads and plenty of good music and food, are you game?"

He looked at me, his gaze piercing me with conviction, I couldn't say no, but I tried to anyway.

"No, I really shouldn't I'm in enough trouble as is, I don't want to add more to it. You go, have fun!"

"Oh no you don't! This is just what you need! What else have you got to do, but be all sad and gloom? I won't have beauty such as yours marred by sadness, and so you are going, I will pick you up at your dorm room tonight at 10pm sharp, your detention will be finished by then, and you will have about 45 minutes to dress up and look gorgeous. See you tonight, don't be late!"

And with these last words he kissed my cheek warmly and left. I found myself trembling with a lust I had never felt before, it wasn't a sexual lust, it was a human lust. A lust for contact, human contact.

Until Matthew had kissed my cheek I had not realized how I missed the ordinary, loving human contact I was so used to receive from my friends. A mere hand caressing my head gently, massaging my scalp. A warm hug from James for no apparent reason, Remus' comforting touch through my troubled nightmares, his kind eyes and sweet voice lolling me back to sleep, as my body lay cradled in his warmth.

I yearned for that contact, but it was now denied from me, so I knew what I had to do.

I would sleep with a guy tonight, nothing serious, of course, but just for the touch, that's all I want, to feel cherished by another human being.

That's all.

"Are you ready Sirius? We have to go!"

Matthew was already pounding on my door, luckily my roommates were all in the library cramming for a test in transfiguration, I on the other hand, had no need to study, and I had no assignments to complete, I was free to go out and have a good time, provided of course that I won't get caught leaving or returning from said party.

"How is that? Do I look ok?"

I turned around to look into Matthew's deep brown eyes. He stared at me, his mouth agape, his eyes raking over my nervous form.

I knew I was good looking, of course, but I had never been to a party like the one I was expected to come to, tonight, so naturally I knew not whether I was dressed accordingly.

I had decided to wear my festive dark blue robes, with even darker blue trimmings. The robe in question was surprisingly tight enough to mold itself to my figure, yet I could move quite freely.

Another advantage in this particular robe was that it made my purple eyes stands out more and was much easier to take off quickly, if the situation called for it, of course.

Matthew shook himself out of his revive with a soft cough. I couldn't control my laughter at the look of dream like fascination and lust that clouded his chocolate brown eyes.

"You.. Um.. You look really good Sirius, I mean it! Very good!"

I chuckled softly at his stammering answer, before tucking a lose curl behind my ear and leaving my dorm room, with him in tow.

We arrived twenty minutes later, we meaning Matthew, me and three other 6th year Ravenclaws that I knew were close friends of Matthew.

The house were the party was held, if it could be called a house at all, more of a mansion, laid at the very end of Hogsmead, which of course involved the five of us walking all across the village with nothing but our thin festive robes to arrive to the mansion.

A fifteen-minute walk later, we arrived at the tall black gate that guarded the "house" in question.

We stood uncertain at the gate, before Charlie and Kaiser had taken it upon themselves to enter, mainly because we were all freezing and anxious for some adventure.

The gate would not budge, not even when all five of us used our considerable strength against it.

"Great! What now? We go back to Hogwarts?" whined Terry, a lock of platinum blonde hair falling into his wary gray eyes repeatedly, while he pushed it off, only for it to return to its rightful place, over his face.

"We are not going back! I did not freeze my arse to get all the way here without enjoying the party, so if Muhammad won't come to the mountain, the mountain will definitely come to Muhammad."

Kaiser stomped off in a rage, towards the annoying gate, that was the only obstacle in our way towards warmth and a good time.

"Open up now you accursed thing!"

None of us expected it to work, magical artifacts rarely respond well to anger and reproach. So imagine our surprise when the gate opened before us slowly but surly?

We stepped past the gate cautiously, almost sure the gate will slam shut while we were still passing through, it did no such thing.

The path we now walked on was unpaved and uneven; leading straight to the party we searched for.

We arrived swiftly at the doorstep of the mansion that I could now see was even larger than the one the commune and I lived in.

I had never seen a mansion as big as this one; it was more of a palace than a mansion or a house.

The mansion was dyed in a soothing cream color, the property surrounding the 8-floor monstrosity, was green and lavish, the intoxicating scent of jasmine in the air mixed with the scent of ripe apples, created a heady aroma that combined with the cold night air, supplied us all with a deep sense of intrigue and excitement, I felt seduced by my green surroundings.

The trees swayed to a rhythm of their own, a mesmerizing dance of branches and leaves, as though the whole magnificent garden was designed for a purely hedonistic pleasure.

The trickle of fresh water reached my ears suddenly, I trained my watchful eyes to the left side of the garden as before our eyes, the old, dirtied fountain sparkled with shining bright lights, water now streamed freely from it's faucets, creating a small waterfall of bright colors and cool water.

The garden around us was littered with candles, adding to the seductive aura of the Eden-like paradise we found ourselves in.

The wide doors of the main entrance opened for us expectantly, the sharp chatter of people conversing broke through the sensual haze I plunged into in the garden.

My companions and I walked inside the house, watching as the doors closed behind us firmly, I couldn't help but feel utterly seduced, ravaged by the aromas of jasmine and apples, the soft clinking sound of glasses as several unknown people raised wine filled flutes into the air and toasted the splendor of this night.

I agreed full heartedly with them.

I looked around the expensively decorated room, a ballroom, on the far side I could see the band of violinists, a pianist and several other musicians, from trumpeters to guitarists, playing dedicatedly and with no respite.

Music flowing from their strong instrument like water from the rusty old fountain, the sound clear and pure, adding it's own bewitching quality to the already captivating ambiance.

The east side of the room was laden with tables groaning from the weight of the deliciously cooked food.

The food in itself was an aphrodisiac, not even Hogwarts holiday feasts could surmount the lovely scents of grilled meat, fried fish, both spiced with seasoning I could not pronounce much less recognize, as well as bathed in different sweet tasting sauces.

Potatoes baked with sugared yams, onions, and various vegetables, cooked and stewed

Followed by chocolate cakes, marmalade toppings, strawberry delicacies, I didn't know, but their deliciously fresh taste and juicy flesh caused me to moan helplessly at the mere thought of taking another bite out of this sugary pastry.

My companions dug into the offered delicacies with eager enthusiasm, pilling food on top of several plates, before scurrying off to find a sit where they could peacefully devour their own riches, in semi privacy.

I followed suit, less exuberant, but thrilled none the less.

I sat at a chair off to the side, quietly enjoying my meal, while looking out at the room before me.

The expensive furniture, chandeliers and tapestries, did nothing to me, if anything I preferred the seductive beauty of the garden outside, but the cold weather had forced all sane people inside, to bask at the warmly lit fireplace.

The room as I quickly noticed, contained no women at all, or any older man, for that matter.

In fact I would go, as far as to say that no man above the age of 25 was present in this party.

That seemed quite odd. But then perhaps this is what some would refer to as a gay party.

For some reason I felt relived to be surrounded only by men, especially when the purpose of the party soon became clear, as I watched several "couples" leave the dance floor, wrapped in each other arms, lips locked in a passionate embrace, tongues tangling fiercely in a battle as ancient as time itself.

The couples quickly retreated to secluded areas, far from observant glances of their fellow partiers.

My companions hastily finished their sumptuous meals and joined the dancing mass, each hooking up with a very handsome man.

And I say men, because we were the youngest guests in this party, and I still had no idea how Matthew knew of this party, much less got invited to it.

I watched as one by one my companions disappeared, their handsome escorts in tow.

Matthew's piercing brown gaze locked with mine, across the crowded dance floor, he flashed me a cheeky grin, before disappearing up the stairwell leading to the upstairs bedrooms, a gorgeous tall blonde in tow.

I took a deep breath and decided that tonight I will do whatever I wanted to do, and not have to worry about people watching me, pointing, gossiping, I would not be judged.

I had just stepped onto the dance floor and was immediately flooded with suitors, one of them was a tall dark haired lad; he looked to be 18, which I found more reassuring.

His hair was ebony black, much like James, his eyes a deep shade of hazel, much like Remus.

But he was nothing like them, the look in his eyes was so different from theirs, when he looked at me, he didn't see my betrayal, he didn't think me unworthy, he found me desirable, beautiful even, and I so needed that.

To have someone want my company again, even if all he wanted was my body, there was no guilt to be felt over this matter.

He asked me to dance, I agreed.

My arms wrapped around his thin waist, before sliding down to cup his arse.

He looked up at me, a knowing smirk on his face.

He told me his name but I didn't listen, didn't care.

The musicians played a soft, slow jazz song, I had never heard, but the music was so soulful, so poignant, that the air I breathed held an even stronger fragrance of vitality, exhilaration, and so I kissed him.

I pressed my sure lips against his surprised pair.

At first he stayed completely still, stunned at my boldness.

But then his soft lips opened under mine, I wasted no time slipping my tongue past his parted lips, into the slick warmth of his mouth, his eyes drifted shut, quickly followed by my own.

My tongue explored his mouth in a leisure pace, as I tried to drown into him, into his strong yet pliant body, I wanted to bury myself inside of him, so I could never feel any coldness again.

My kiss was unhurried and masterful, until he couldn't help but gasp against my mouth's insistent assault, the breathy sound vibrating through me, until I moaned at the sheer desire that coursed through my veins.

The touch was so comforting, so human; I felt like weeping, I was not nearly as strong as I thought myself to be. Normally that would have upset me deeply, but right then in his arms I couldn't care less.

As long as my mouth was on his, my tongue plundering him senseless, the world could disappear to oblivion and I wouldn't care.

We broke apart breathless, our foreheads gently touching, eyes fluttering open carefully, pupils adjusting once more to the blearing light of the thousands candles scattered around the ball room.

"I don't know about you, but I could use a stiff drink right about now!"

His amber eyes stared into mine with such intense passion, that I could feel my own lust and want heighten; my face suffused with blood, my body hardening beneath my dark blue robes.

"I think I'd rather have something more stiff in my mouth than a drink" I replied, keeping my voice low and sultry.

Had James or Remus been here, they would have laughed at my lame line, I might have laughed with them as well, but they were not here, I reminded myself, focusing once again on the handsome stranger I already kissed once tonight and was looking forward to kissing again and doing much more before the evening came to it's inevitable end.

His gaze became glassy with desire, his eyes locked on my kiss-bruised lips.

When I caught his gaze on my mouth, I immediately slid my agile wet tongue across my swollen lips, moaning softly at his lingering masculine taste.

He groaned deeply then, his lips crushing against mine, stealing the breath from my moist lips.

His lips ruthlessly attacking mine, nibbling on my lower lip, until I moaned brokenly against his assaulting mouth.

My lips already felt so sensitive, so swollen, it made me fell wanton, lustful, one might even say sluty?

We broke apart abruptly.

"Stay right here, I just want to get one drink. Please stay!"

I nodded wordlessly, watching him scramble through the crowds, towards the bar that stood next to the refreshment stands.

I glanced about me, meeting several heated looks from the couples on the dance floor, but there was one gaze that I could feel was different from all the rest, the glance was so intense, I felt as though I was being stripped bare of all my defenses, left to flounder through the murky waters by myself.

I was so unnerved by the mere feeling of the heated gaze that I felt compelled to seek out the cause of this disturbance, I found him instantly, he stood out in the crowd of vibrant young men dressed in fancy robes in every color known to men.

But he was different; he was older than all of them, he looked to be in his mid-thirties, his hair a deep honey color, already graying on the sides, his eyes were amazingly moss green.

Strong hawk like features, soften only by the uncanny glint of desire that gleamed in his green pools.

The air around us crackled with awareness, I shivered in fright, not expecting to feel so drawn to a man more than twice my age, but here I was now, feeling the same lust I felt a mere second ago with my anonymous new admirer, or was I feeling something else now?

He stepped closer towards me, so I could see how richly dressed he was, the aura of strength and assurance was so palpable that I quickly summed up that he was the master of this house, he was none other than Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third.

He was now walking towards me, his strides sure and confident, as though he knew that whatever he would ask of me I would welcome.

I didn't realize how tall he was until he reached me, stopping a mere two steps away from me, he was at least a good six inches my superior in height.

I felt like a child before his shrewd gaze, I flushed in embarrassment, not daring to meet his expectant stare.

His hand reached towards me then, a strong, well-manicured palm caressed my cheek reverently, before tracing my swollen red lips with his fore finger.

My lips parted of their own accord, I could feel his finger slip past my parted lips, tracing across the soft heated flesh of my lips.

His finger tried to slip further inside my mouth, but the arrival of my previous admirer, quickly brought the shocking incident to its bittersweet end.

"Sorry it took so long, but I'm back and ready for something a bit more stiff, what do you say to a lovely walk outside, to see the wonderful garden?"

He winked suggestively at me, unaware of the incident that took place a mere second ago.

I nodded wordlessly, my blood already warmed from my encounter with the eccentric milioner, my eyes still glued to his retreating form.

I turned away from the disappearing figure, trying to calm my racing heart, but the thought of having sex in that enchanted garden, with the intriguing reclusive milioner only increased my already racing heart.

And so I linked my arm with my admirer's and allowed him to guide me outside, but I could still feel that piercing gaze on my body, shivering I turned back once again, countering the man's purposeful gaze with a defiant one.

I turned away from him and refocused my attention on my new escort's warm body and strong physique.

He walked me behind the huge mansion, leading me towards a wall that sealed off the land from view.

The wall was covered with green vines, which had already filled with pink blooms, their fragrance sweeter than the jasmine scent; I closed my eyes and inhaled their heady perfume deeply.

He slowly turned me towards him, pushing me back against the wall, his hand already tangling in my hair as he sought to bring us closer, to press our heated mouths together, I complied quickly, ravishing his lips with mine, our teeth clinking against each other, my hand already in his short black hair, caressing his scalp encouragingly.

I spun him around, pressing his robe covered back against the wall, my hands busy opening the fastening of his robes, my tongue plunging between his moist lips, dueling with his tongue, sucking the tormented flesh into the warmth wetness of my mouth. Before retreating to suck the soft flesh of his lower lips between my own swollen lips, I nibbled on the abused flesh; raking my teeth across it, only to release it completely and plunge my tongue back inside of his hot cavern.

His festive robes soon slithered to the ground, followed closely by his briefs; he wore nothing else underneath his robes.

He shivered in my arms not only from the crisp night air, but also from the desire that enflamed his body.

His strong hands were already working on the fastening of my own dark blue robes.

Sliding down my warm chest, caressing, patting, exploring, my flat stomach, my taut nipples.

I bit my lip softly, trying to stifle a moan as he tweaked a pert pink nipple, twirling his long fingers around the little aroused nub.

The soft fabric of my robe caressed my trembling form as the wind lashed viciously at my exposed back and calves, while the robe slithered past my ankles to the grass covered ground, next to my soon to be lover's robe.

We had both stopped kissing, leaning on to each other's warmth while we took off our boots, craving the feel of the cool grass beneath our bare feet while we embraced.

Boots thrown off in haste, a smirk of mischievous naughtiness upon our swollen-kissed lips.

Our eyes met in a mixture of amusement and desire, inflamed lips meeting again in a fierce kiss, breaths mingling as our tongues tangled playfully, the kiss powerfully melting any thought of propriety from our lust driven minds.

Warm hands caressed, pinched, teased every inch of trembling flesh, creating a blaze of desire in its wake.

I wasted no time, attaching my lips to his neck, sucking and licking at the length of the proud column of flesh.

He sighed deeply in my ear, offering more of his strong neck, to my questing tongue, but I had already lost myself in his warm chest, my mouth traveling downward, following my curious hands, licking across the broad chest, the hardened tips protruding from beneath the black hairy mast that covered his torso, past the muscled stomach, down the "happy trail" towards his hardening member, jutting proudly upwards, strong and slick. I caressed it reverently between my fingers, stroking gently over the warm skin, feeling it swell and thicken in my gentle grip.

He moaned, his voice low and guttural, the harder I stroked, pulling me towards his lips, tongue pushing past my parted lips, sweeping across my moist lips to ravage my bruised mouth.

I broke the kiss, dropping down on the grassy floor of the garden, wasting no time; I began licking the twitching hard flesh.

I heard nothing, saw nothing but him, sliding in and out of my mouth, his thrusts became harder, deeper with each passing moment, hips jutting forwards, propelling himself deeper into my mouth, but I was beyond coherent thought, not caring whether I gagged or not, as long as I could feel something, some warmth, some human contact, I cared for nothing else.

I slowly broke contact and rose to my feet.

We kissed again, more demandingly, my lips crushed again, until the soft flesh throbbed faintly from all the abuse it had borne, but I cared not.

He broke the kiss softly, reaching into his discarded robes, he pulled out his wand, leaning back, he preformed the necessary spells, lubricating his tight body generously with lube, and then repeating the charm on my own hard length.

He leaned back, sighing as the night's cool air, chilled his heated body, closing his darkened hazel eyes, while balancing his body against the stone wall, one leg propped on my shoulder, exposing his body to my questing eyes and hands.

My fingers, stroked his hardness, a few times, before inserting one finger inside of him.

I started to trust my finger quickly adding a second finger, stretching and scissoring them inside, before curling them upward, searching and pressing on the delicate nub of nerves, hidden deep within.

"Oh"

He gasped, panting softly, his warm breath tickling my expose neck.

A third finger joined the other two, until he groaned deeply, demandingly.

"Take me already, I'm prepared"

My fingers slid out unhurriedly, feeling as he twitched with anticipation and need, but I moved at my own pace, leaning into him, his leg, now higher upon my shoulder, exposing the gaping hole to my view, I grasped my hard member in my hand, positioning it against the cleft, impatient he pressed against me, attempting to force me inside, but I chuckled quietly, pulling away just enough to deny him his desire.

He sighed with frustration, a blazing golden glare holding my amused stare.

And then I leaned back into his warm embrace, thrusting inside of him with one hard thrust, feeling the walls of his rectum constrict around me, until I could no longer hold my own moan of pleasure.

It rose out of my body, carried upon the exhaled breath that burst through my swelled lungs, joining my lover's own cry of satisfaction.

I lingered no further, pulling out only to hurriedly thrust back inside, bumping into that small bundle of nerves buried deep within my raven-haired beauty.

My hand reached for his neglected erection, stroking him, before with an ear splitting cry he climaxed in my hand, spilling himself across his stomach and onto my hand that still pumped the softening member.

My lips crushed against his again, my tongue imitating my own thrust inside of him.

I was already close to my own climax, but suddenly something felt wrong, I could feel eyes upon me, I lifted my head from my lover's bruised neck, my eyes widening with shock, my body stilling as I looked into the calculating green gaze of Heyworth Perkison Oddment the third.

I waited for him to acknowledge me, but he did not, for long minutes I did nothing, refusing to move within my companion's warm embrace, aching for completion, that I feared granting, not while that shrewd but lusting gaze was upon me.

He was hidden in the shadows so only I could see him, my companion could not, but he was not hiding, merely staying out of sight, he did not cower behind a bush, nor did he blend with the earth, no, he stood quietly, observing the occurrence with a dispassionate glance, but the heat of his glare belying the off handed expression.

My impatient companion, began pumping his hips, attempting to draw me back into the forgotten rhythm, I felt the pain of my halted orgasm, propelling me to move again, but I could not tear my eyes from the still figure.

A few more hard thrusts and my eyes closed, my mouth parted as I cried out my pleasure into the cold night air, my body blazing with hot fire, almost incinerating me alive, my orgasm more powerful than ever before, as I climaxed deep within my lover, while the irritating green gaze burned my back with a cold flame of reality.

I slumped against my companion's tall figure, my body still shuddering from the aftermath of my powerful climax.

A strong wind slashed at us, reminding us both that the whether outside was too cold for outdoor activities, much less nude activities, we parted quickly, my eyes automatically drawn to the spot I had seen the eccentric milioner last, he was no longer there.

In that surprising second, I almost believed his appearance had been nothing but a mirage created by my lusting mind, but the intensity of the gaze could not have been a fantasy, that I knew.

I dressed in my robes quickly, not glancing at all at my companion, as he had by now already finished dressing and took his place before me.

I was startled out of my revive by his warm lips, kissing me softly, not attempting to deepen the kiss, simply caressing my lips with his.

And then the gentle touch was gone.

"That was wonderful, thank you, I do hope we will meet again, but before I leave, tell me your name, my fair beauty"

I laughed quietly, whispering in his ear, I told him my name.

"Sirius"

And we parted forever, I never asked his name.

~ Remus' p.o.v ~

Enough is enough! I could take this no longer; the pain of Sirius' absence had already outweighed the pain of his betrayal.

I forgave him, I knew but I feared that perhaps James hadn't, and I did not know how to approach the subject.

I missed him so much, I felt crippled.

I had never felt crippled in my life, not even with my accursed disease, but Sirius made me feel whole, life was brighter with him around.

The sky was a light blue, the birds sang, all was right with my world.

He has this aura of life and light, and I feared living in the shadow, he was my guiding light, my strength.

The days wore on, mingling into each other, all the same, their monotone routine, sickened me, devoured me, I almost longed for the full moon to arrive, simply to break this routine, to break me away from this pain.

There was bliss in unconsciousness, the wolf for all it's fault, took away my awareness, and gave me peace of mind, amnesia of some sort, and though I feared it more than I could explain, I also longed for it now.

I needed the oblivion it granted, to not feel so much, so fast. Falling so deep into Sirius, as I had, and to now in the aftermath float without a lifesaver through the ocean's stormy seas, was destroying me, crippling me, I needed my lifesaver, my Sirius.

I looked about the common room, it was already past 2 am, I still could find no rest, my mind unbeknownst to me until now, had awaited Sirius' return to the Gryffindor tower, forgetting he no longer resided in it.

"What are you still doing up, Rem?"

James' worried voice broke through the hazy tired recollection of my jumbled mind, I smiled softly.

"I could ask you the same thing, Jamie." I stated.

"I couldn't sleep, Rem, I keep thinking about this rift between us, trying to make sense of things, but it hurts so much to stay away, Rem, I never thought it would feel so bad, so painful."

James broke down, I felt the same way. Relief poured through my broken heart, I could finally speak to James, try to make sense of this mess with him, and maybe, just maybe we could take back Sirius, become whole again.

I placed my arm on James tense shoulder in a show of support.

"I feel the same way James, I was afraid to say anything, but I feel I need to tell you, I want Sirius back with us, I want the maradures back. Punishing all of us had solved nothing, I'm not saying all is forgotten, but I think the rift should end, I don't want to feel lost anymore James.

I had been lost for such a long portion of my life, a wanderer, seeking a place to belong, but I found it and I'm not giving it up. That place James is with you, with Peter and with Sirius, here at Hogwarts."

I became silent then, fearing I had said too much, I was not used to spilling so much about my inner thoughts, my inner pain, Sirius would tell me that friends should hold nothing back from each other, but even he had failed the ultimate test, he had betrayed a trust. My trust.

I glared into the dying ambers of the fire still feeling the lingering warmth of the fire that blazed a mere two hours ago.

"I agree, Rem"

We spoke no further words that night, sitting side by side, watching the sun come up, the early morning skies painted with blues and pinks, fluffy white clouds, taking the place of deep gray rain clouds, the morning dew glistening upon the green earth, it was truly a glorious morning, and I was happy to share it with James, but even more I was resolved in my heart, relinquished from the impossible mock hate I had condemned myself to.

And it felt easy to smile, to laugh.

~ Sirius' p.o.v ~

I returned to the party, looking for Matthew and his 3 friends, when I felt that astute gaze upon me again, I turned around quickly, anger and disturbed lust rising in me in equal fervor, I hated his perceptive gaze, because it told me nothing of his plans, all I knew was that he desired me, but the sharp gaze he bestowed upon me was unnervingly secretive, I wished I could read his mine, simply to calm my racing heart, but I could not.

I walked off, trying to locate my companions, as well as lose sight of him in the mass of drunk, tumbling men that swarmed around the ballroom, but I was unsuccessful, in both ventures.

Finally I decided to face my tormentor head on, or simply to wait for him to approach me.

I stood next to the bar, a glass of Silphany red wine in my hand, sipping nervously from the delicate flute, my gaze searching for my tormentor's green eyed stare, I could not find him, it should have been a blessing, but instead I was disappointed, I had already decided to confront the matter head on, only to have him disappear, it did not seem fair at all, I pouted sullenly, sipping from the sweet tasting aphrodisiac in my twitching palm.

A strong hand seized my shoulder in a light grip; I jumped in fright, turning around quickly to face Heyworth himself.

My fright immediately turned to anger, my purple eyes flashing with resentment.

The old ogre had the nerve to laugh! He did look more handsome that way, his hawkish features softened, putting more emphasis on the delicate curve of his mouth, his green eyes appeared bigger and dominated his face, his jaw was strong, his nose straight and long, but I found him so appealing, arousing.

Which made my resentment rise to new heights.

"Why are you following me?" I demanded an answer, my voice no more than a harsh whisper, but I knew he heard me, loud and clear.

"why do you think? I desire you, I usually get what I want as you can see for yourself" he smiled predatorily at me, his hands caressing my cheek, forefinger tracing the fullness of my sore lips, I pulled away from his alluring touch, trying to control the rise of heat in my body.

He had done nothing yet, but already I felt naked, vulnerable, exposed.

But what terrified me most was that I enjoyed the feeling, I wanted him to control me. Was this really my secret wish? To know what it feels like to be at the mercy of another? Or perhaps I wanted to relinquish control, just for a little while, to hand my care over to someone else.

Like Remus had done, when he confided in us after a long duress about being a werewolf, he placed his life in our hands, his care in my hands, and I let him down.

While I was lost in my thoughts of control and trust, Heyworth's hands had traveled to my neck, caressing and massaging the tense muscles, leaning closer so he could whisper in my ears.

"come with me Sirius, give me control"

his demand was forceful, but done so manipulatively that I dared not refuse.

His large warm hand closed over my chilled nervous hand in a light grip as he tugged me slowly up the stairs, I followed numbly, surrendering to him, without struggle.

We climbed up the flight of stairs, only to climb another and then another.

We stopped at the eight floor of the mansion, my breath now coming in gasps, as beside me he stood still, not even a bit out of breath.

We walked down a long winding corridor, there were doors lined in the corridor, but we didn't go through any of them, simply walking on.

My mind was in turmoil, both condemning me and pleading with me, but I could not break through this enchantment.

We walked on, while I contemplated how much the man and the house resembled one another, both enchanting but confusing, intricate and in both I was lost.

We stopped before a door, it was not unusual in any way, simply a wooden door. He reached towards the door handle twisting it to the left, the door opened with a soft click.

The room we entered was bathed with candlelight as well, and consisted of an old comfortable armchair, a writing desk and a huge king sized bed, complete with bedposts and silk black sheets.

But the most surprising thing was the naked young man that lay beneath the black silk sheets.

The milioner stepped towards the bed, the young male rising to an upward position to meet him, half way, they shared a sweet loving kiss, hands trailing over each others body with keen familiarity.

They separated gently, hands still clutching each other's hair, before relinquishing that hold as well.

The milioner turned towards me, his gaze sure and steady as he introduced me to his lover, for I had no doubt that they were lovers.

"Sirius, meet Conner, my love"

I smiled nervously at the naked young men. He looked to be in his early 20's, his hair was a deep chestnut color, the straight locks, framing his sweet heart shaped face, his lips were full and plush pink, eyes the color of stormy gray, yet they held such sincerity, such goodness, I could not help but compare him to Remus, though he looked nothing like him, but the emotions radiating from his turbulent eyes were so like Remus' beautiful tortured soul, and for that and that alone I loved him instantly.

The gray eyes met mine, an amused look in their fiery depths, he rose off the bed, his strong body smooth and hairless, not a stitch of clothing marred his naked beauty.

He stood before me, broad shouldered, muscled chest leading down to a flat stomach, thin waist and long firm legs.

"He is perfect my love" his voice was just above a whisper, sultry and aroused.

"I thought so myself, my heart" replied the milioner by my side with the same fervor.

Conner stepped even closer to me, our bodies only few inches apart, he caressed my cheek softly with the back of his hand, I inhaled sharply but could not move away from the warm worshiping touch, I found myself leaning into the unsolicited touch.

"His skin is so soft, so warm, my love, he is exquisite"

He exclaimed, his voice tainted by the soft undercurrent of lust.

Warm lips pressed against the delicate skin of my neck, a hand threading through my hair, uncovering the nape of my neck, followed swiftly by hot kisses, rained upon the gentle patch of skin reveled.

I moaned softly, my left hand automatically tangled in the honey-colored locks of Heyworth.

My moaning lips caught in a fierce kiss as Conner's full lips crushed into mine, tongue pushing past my pliant mouth to ravage the welcoming heat within.

Two pairs of strong hands busily worked on the fastening of the robe, I had just dawned back a mere fifteen minutes ago.

The dark blue fabric pooled to the floor, caressing my thighs in its wake, followed by two pairs of worshipful hands.

My lips bruised under the ferocious assault, but each time Conner made too tear his lips from mine, I strove to keep them there by any means, my tongue, my lips, my teeth.

Finally the need for air overpowered the need for contact and we broke apart, breathless and panting, I leaned back, my chest expanding with each deep breath I took, leaning against Heyworth's strong frame, feeling his arms embrace me from behind, propelling my body to move forward towards the huge silk covered bed.

We stopped when my knees touched the bed. He turned me towards him, my arms grabbing his shoulders for support as we finally stood face to face.

One arm held lightly to my naked waist, the other caressed my cheek, worshipping the silky texture of my skin.

"You are so beautiful, desirable" he whispered quietly, his mouth pressed to my skin as he spoke, the vibrations trailing over my cheeks, through my body, I shivered in his warm embrace, desire coursing hot and strong warring with my cautiousness.

"I want Conner to fuck you, I want to watch you and him on this huge bed, with the black sheets tangled between your sweaty limbs. I want that beautiful mouth around him, around me. I want to spend myself in your mouth Sirius, would you let? I bet you would look lovely on your back taking all of Conner inside of you. Can I watch? Would you deny me Sirius?"

He spoke so sexily, so dirty in my ear, his tongue flicking out to trace the shell of my ear, he chuckled softly as I shivered, flustered and aroused in his arms.

Tongue gently teasing my ear lobe, he whispered again.

"Will you deny me, Sirius? Just say yes, let us pleasure you."

Biting down gently on my ear lobe, I moaned helplessly.

"Yes" I replied, feebly, my eyes staring straight into the depth of his moss green eyes. I repeated my answer again, this time with more self-confidence and control; I was no weakling after all!

"Yes"

I took no more time to ponder my actions, I had after all, allowed no one the pleasure of taking me, and I needed to feel that wonderful consuming possession again.

Remus would say I am vulnerable right now and should make no rush decision, but I fear Remus sometimes doesn't know the real me.

The real me is ruled by rushed decisions, as I'm sure both he and I, as well as James and Peter have all learned on our own flesh and blood, let us all refer to the Whomping Willow incident that occurred a mere two weeks ago, a prime example of my rushed judgment, wouldn't you agree?

 So why must I deny my own desire? My own needs? And again I make these reckless decisions, but I did learn one thing, I will never let my hasty resolutions harm my friends, ever again, I alone should bear the burn of consequences.

I lifted my head, my mouth opening in readiness, followed swiftly by Heyworth's groan of passion at my wantonness, his mouth pressing insistently against my mouth, his tongue, snaking past my full red lips.

Our tongues tangled and dueled in my mouth, until finally I sucked on his tongue, moaning my pleasure at the slick muscle wrapped in the tight folds of my tongue.

We broke apart, Heyworth, retreating to the comfortable armchair.  He striped off his dressy burgundy robe, the silk material slithering to the floor with a soft hissing sound and he sat down, watching.

My eyes traced his naked beauty, the hairy broad chest, the muscular built and powerful thighs.

I turned towards Conner, motioning for him to step closer to me, my gaze coy yet sultry. I was no longer the adolescent, self-conscious lad I was upon entering this room, I was now Sirius Black a master in pleasures of the flesh.

We kiss again, his sugary-sweet flavor undoing me inch by inch, until I'm devouring his mouth, ravishing the soft lips, only to move on to his neck, biting the delicate skin, then his nipples are assaulted by my agile tongue.

I circle the tightening nub, wetting it, blowing cool air on the heated surface, my hand twirling the other soft nub, while I torment the delicious tip in my mouth.

The other nipple soon falls under the same treatment; my human canvas' breaths become sharper, his heart racing, his body flushed and warm.

I move lower, already on my knees worshiping the naked beauty before me with my tongue, caressing from nipple to belly button, to his ticklish lower-belly, which I lave dedicatedly with my tongue.

And lower still, a long trail of spit bearing witness to my leisure descent. My tongue, laps at the long smooth shaft, already hard, tracing it lovingly.

The warm body in my arms shaking and moaning, I look up from the hardness under my assault, to lock my eyes with my silent watcher.

Green eyes meet mine, scorching me with such aggressive lust, I moan without even touching myself, the powerful heat of his gaze warms my blood.

I smile at him coyly, opening my mouth wide to take in the full length of his lover, patiently relaxing when his hips jerk forward as he cries in both pleasure and surprise.

I start to moan around the smooth, hard flesh between my lips, my eyes still on the now agitated figure of Heyworth as he fidgets from side to side, already itching for his own turn.

I let Conner slip from my mouth with a loud pop, licking my lips carefully, tasting his musky taste. I coat my lips with spit, before taking in the hard organ again. Deeper than before, I swallow around the mouthful of flesh, hollowing my cheeks, as I begin to stroke him.

I quickly find a rhythm I like, sucking the entire length down my throat, then letting it slip from my mouth, followed by my eager tongue that lapped at the sensitive head, loving the radiating heat of the silky skin; I nibble on him, grazing my teeth gently on the underside of his firm flesh, before swallowing the whole mass down my throat.

A moan of uncontrolled desire reaches my ears, I look up from my self-appointed task, but it had not been Conner, who's whimpering mewls of pleasure, accompanied by the desperate way his hands clenched around the black silk sheets, warned me how close he really is to his climax.

A moan slipped unbidden from my occupied mouth when I glanced at the armchair, where I had heard the lustful groan a mere second ago, Heyworth was leaned back against the lounger, stroking and fondling his hard length.

Conner had started jerking his hips upwards pushing deeper into my mouth, the friction bruising the sensitive flesh of my lips, but I cared not.

I felt consumed and lustful, moaning wantonly around the hard member in my mouth.

The thrusts became harder, deeper, Conner's whimpering mewls became keening wails of ecstasy; he was so close, almost there.

I prepared myself for his orgasm, wanting to have the taste of him, wanting to feel him coat the inside of my flesh, to mark me.

We worked together, attuned to each other's needs, my mouth, opening when he pushed in, my cheeks hollowing, my lips wrapped tightly, as he pulled out.

It was all going to be over now, I knew, he could take no more, his mouth opened to voice a keening wail of completion but it did not come.

"Stop!"

"No" Conner cried brokenly, his body so high strung and aroused he was in considerable physical anguish, yet he stopped, slipping obediently from my mouth.

Bewildered I looked up at Heyworth, he too was panting, as though he had stopped his orgasm as well.

"Conner, my love, take him, take him for me." his voice cracked at the end of the sentence, confirming that he had indeed delayed his own completion.

I licked my lips nervously, tasting Conner's unique musky taste on the bruised flesh, watching the breathtaking exchange between the two lovers.

They kissed, their tongues tangled playfully, lips pressing softly against each other, they broke apart breathless.

Conner turned towards me, his voice no longer lacked confidence, in fact he became commanding and domineering.

"Up on that bed, now!"

I complied quickly, climbing on the bed, feeling the silky black sheets caress the exposed skin of my knees and thighs.

"On you back, spread those beautiful long legs, my eager little slut"

I did as I was told, lying on my back, the silk sheets cool against my warm naked flesh, my legs bent at the knees and spread obscenely wide, making me appear even more wanton and needy.

"He is even more beautiful than I thought, my love, take him!"

Heyworth spoke quietly, his voice just above a whisper, enough for the sound to reach our ears, and flame my desire even further. I wanted to be taken, possessed, and I had no other choice in this matter.

Conner climbed unto the bed, sitting before my spread thighs, he slipped one finger cautiously inside of me.

The dry finger slipped in, with some difficulty, as I had not given the privilege of my body to none other since my untimely break up with Cameron.

"He is so tight, so hot, you must feel it for yourself, my sweet"

He exclaimed, his finger probing my resisting flesh, stretching and prodding inside, my eyes closed as I let the sensation wash over me.

"Lubricous" I heard the spell, whispered into my ears, I opened my eyes, feeling the familiar cold wetness of the lube, coating the entrance to my body, my eyes meeting Heyworth's were he stood, next to the bed, his face close to my ear, where he had whispered the spell a mere second ago, his wand still clutched in his shaking hand, his naked body flushed and aroused.

The finger that had retreated from my body prior to the spell returned again, this time accompanied by another.

Both fingers breached past the guardian muscle, pushing inside of me, I gasped at the intrusion, a shudder of apprehension and excitement racing through my sprawled limbs, causing my spread thighs to shiver, in hesitation.

A third finger joined it's companions, thrusting inside of me, scissoring and stretching, I jerked upwards attempting to alleviate some of the pressure by having those long fingers stroke across my needy prostate.

My hips were immediately pinned to the bed by Heyworth's' unrelenting hands.

I moaned piteously, squirming under the impossibly hard grip.

The long fingers inside of me began to cautiously caress my insides, stroking softly against my prostate in feather light touches that proved to be even more arousing than hard strokes and insistent rubs.

I gasped brokenly at the pleasure, my legs spreading open further, my pelvis jerking forward towards the blessed touch, the hands on my hips no longer restraining, but merely holding, caressing.

I heard the spell again, whispered in my ear, the fingers slipped out of me slowly, forcing a whimper of dismay from my tormented body.

My legs were lifted onto Conner's shoulders, something hot and hard nudged at my stretched opening, jerking me out of my lust-induced haze.

I relaxed as much I could, preparing for the inevitable penetration.

It started with a tentative push, breaching my entrance, slowly, just the head pressing inside, I hissed at the pain, willing my body to remain lax and pliant.

Finally he was sheathed completely within me, hard and throbbing. I had barely a second to adjust to his girth before he slowly pulled out only to slam back inside of me with one fierce thrust.

I groaned at the spasm of pain that raced through me, trailing along my nerve ending.

Several more thrusts preceded the first, I gritted my teeth at the feeling of my abused flesh stretching painfully, and then the pain disappeared in a haze of uncontrollable lust as Conner pressed repeatedly against my prostate, forcing moans of pleasure from my battered body.

I bit my lower lip to keep from shrieking my pleasure to the cool night air that streamed in through the open window, but I failed, I bit my lips till I could taste the coppery flavor of my own blood, both of my hands clenched around the woodened headboard of the huge bed, until I could take no more and I screamed my pleasure, my body writhing, undulating and tightening beneath my new lover's hard frame, my eyes glued to the distant milioner sitting beside me on the bed, his green eyes alight with fascination and arousal, as he watched his lover pounding into my pliant body, repeatedly.

Watching our sweat soaked bodies' tangle in the cool silk sheets as both of our voices rose in a shared moan of ecstasy.

His strong hand crept towards my hardness, wrapping around the weeping organ, he began to stroke me in long firm strokes.

I moaned brokenly, licking my lips watching as he tenderly pushed back the wet lock of black-blue hair from my sweaty brow.

The thrusts increased in speed and depth, the body above me shaking in near climatic joy.

I tightened my muscles around him, pleased when I heard Conner's shout of pleasure.

The hand on my erection increased its strokes, pulling me closer and closer to the edge, stoking the flame of my desire, with renewed effort.

Insistent lips pressed against mine, a hot tongue pushing past my injured lips to ravish the soft inside of my mouth, mimicking the deep thrust of within me.

That was all it took, I screamed my pleasure against the ravenous mouth, spilling myself over Heyworth's strong hand and my own flat stomach, we broke apart from our now languid kiss as Heyworth moved towards his lover, capturing his lips in a heated kiss, that spoke of deep love and commitment, I watched mesmerized, envious as my body brought Conner to his own rapture, tightening around him and propelling him to his own orgasm.

He spilled himself deep within my sated body, the warm fluid filling me to bursting, coating my inside with his musky scent, marking me.

I had never felt like this before, had never felt so exposed, undone by a sexual act, but then again no man had ever cummed inside of me, the sensation was so unfamiliar, I was scared of it at first, scared of how I felt, I felt different, changed, but it was not entirely a pleasant feeling, though I knew it was meant to feel very good, but the nagging voice in the back of my mind, confirmed what I was reluctant to face.

The truth of the matter, I would have enjoyed it better had it been someone else spilling himself within me, someone else but him.

My mind drifted towards memories of enchanting hazel eyes with silver streaks, framed by honey colored hair splashed with silver, full pink lips upturned in a loving smile.

I refused to think further, to admit what I feared to accept.

But my heart still longed for Remus.

A movement to my left drew me from my maudlin thoughts; the loving couple broke apart from their heated kiss, Conner gently and slowly eased out of my satiated flesh.

Heyworth had retreated to his seat on the comfortable armchair, beckoning me with his hand and a soft voice pained with unspent lust to come to him.

I rise to my feet unsteadily and carefully, feeling the inevitable twinge of pain from my lower body as my used fleshed burnt from its earlier possession.

I walked over to him, leaving Conner lying on his stomach his face towards us.

Heyworth beckons me to my knees; his hand caresses my cheek, and then tangles in my hair as he gently nudges me towards his neglected erection, protruding painfully from his body.

I lick my lips delightfully, my eyes glued to his expectant gaze.

Lowering my head, my tongue sneaking past my lips, I lap at the red hot swollen flesh, the hand in my hair clenching around the silky strands.

I become bolder, my gaze sultry and seductive as I draw circles with my tongue over the agonized erection, tongue trailing along the shaft in a leisure pace.

I moan around the hot flesh tasting his strong masculine tang.

I chuckled appreciatively at the groan that escaped passed his gritted teeth, before taking the full hard length down my throat, caressing it with my tongue, hollowing my cheeks and swallowing greedily around the stiff member.

A rhythm was quickly established, Heyworth's hand guiding my head up and down on, his hips jutting upwards with every thrust, pushing his firm hardness deep into my mouth, rubbing against the back of my throat.

The thrusts quickened until with a final moan of pleasure, I felt him spasm and jerk, climaxing.

I was drawn away from the still jerking flesh, by Conner, who attached his mouth to mine, tongue plunging into my mouth to catch the salty-sweet remains of his lover's climax, satisfied he had captured all he could, we broke apart gasping, lips still touching slightly.

The only sound that could be heard in the room was that of our harsh pants mingled together in a bizarre symphony of pleasure and fulfillment.

We remained seated for several minutes, Conner and I on the cold floor, Heyworth on the comfortable armchair.

Conner and Heyworth both turned towards me, a smile of gratitude on their shining faces, they appeared almost child-like right now, no wrinkle of worry marring their youthful features, combined with the relaxed and satisfied expression, they looked carefree and lighthearted.

We got dressed quickly, pulling on our wrinkled robes, I stood by the door, turning back, I smiled at them, kissing them both in farewell.

"Promise you will come see us, we throw magnificent parties all year, promise you will come" demanded Conner, a smile belying the threatening quality in his voice.

"I promise." I answered quietly, knowing I had no plans to return to this mansion for at least several months if not years.

I climbed down the stairs, all the way down to the first floor, panting and out of breath I ran into my four companions, all of them looked as though they had rolled around on the ground, their hair messy and matted, their festive robes wrinkled and covered with unidentified stains, but the smiles of utter content and joy on their faces made them that much more lovely then before.

We stared at each other, our minds' trying to guess at each other's nighttime adventured, we smiled and shook our heads at the unusual events.

"I think it is safe to say we all had a good time tonight, right?"

I questioned softly a sly smirk on my face.

"Oh yeah!" they all replied.

We made our way outside; Matthew stepped closer to me and whispered in my ears "nice love bites, mate!" a cheeky grin on his face.

A look of utter horror passed over my relaxed features as my hands reached towards my neck, immediately feeling the small indention in the skin of my neck.

"Oh no! That will be hell to hide" I sighed.

We reached the school by 4am, luckily without any trouble.

I went to bed for the first time tonight with a clear mind and a clear heart.

No nightmares plagued my sleep, and I rose bright and early to Nomry's cheerful chatter and the smell of a well-cooked breakfast.

~ James' p.o.v ~

I awoke this morning with a new conviction in my mind that Sirius will finally return to his rightful place by my side, as always, my equal in everything, my charming "partner in crime".

The thing that made my decision so much less painful was the knowledge that Remus wanted him back just as much as I did, as was clarified the night before in our common room, all that was left was to break the wonderful news to Peter.

I walked to breakfast accompanied by both Remus and Peter, whistling as I thought of the happy ending to these painful few weeks.

Remus looked up at me with an irritated glare, from the transfiguration book in his lap.

Ops.. I forgot all about the transfiguration test today, oh well I thought, I am one of the best students in that class.

I ate my breakfast in comparative silence, my eyes glued to the entrance door, waiting to catch a glimpse of Sirius' tall figure.

He did not come, as always.

We finished breakfast, completed our transfiguration test, in which he sat as always, far away from us and disappeared before I could stop him.

The rest of the day was spent in the same fashion, Remus and I hot on his trail, but he still disappeared, every time.

By the time we had finished our homework and waited for dinnertime to arrive, both Remus and my patience had reached its limit.

"That's it." I announced, getting up and leaving the common room, with Remus by my side, and Peter racing after our retreating backs, a bewildered expression on his frightened portly face.

We strode together, unified towards the Hogwarts grounds, towards the apple tree Sirius loved so much.

"Wait! What is going on, James?"

Oh, I had forgotten to tell Peter of our plans. Remus must have realized that as well for he too had stopped in his tracks.

"This is what is going on Peter, we are going to talk to Sirius, and we are going to get him back!' I announced, a confident bright smile on my face.

"B.. But James, he betrayed us, he hurt Remus, you could have died too! I.. I think he hasn't paid enough, right Rem?"

Whatever I had expected Peter to say, that was not it, Remus must have felt the same because he, unlike me, responded immediately.

"Shut up, Peter! I'm the one who has a reason to be angry at Sirius, and if I say he is forgiven, then he is forgiven!"

Remus was livid, his hazel eyes burned with a golden flame of his conviction, his lips pulled back just enough to offer a view of his now human fangs, but the animalistic gesture was not lost on Peter, who began shaking and whimpering.

Instead of feeling sorry for him, I found myself sharing in Remus' wrath, wanting to hit Peter for even suggesting we remain Sirius less for even another day!

We both walked off towards the apple tree, leaving a confused and frightened Peter in our wake, but he did not stay behind for long, soon he was running off towards us, calling out to us.

"Wait for me, James, Remus, wait for me!"

We didn't heed his cries, but walked on, the slumped figure of our lost companion became more visible the closer we came to the tree.

There he was, Sirius.

He sat under the comforting shade of the tree, his back propped up against the tree trunk, reading a thick dusty book whose title I could not discern through the thick layers of dust the book had accumulated over the years.

The old, graceful apple tree looked much like an over-protective parent as his strong branches shaded Sirius majestic head, supporting the lithe frame, one could not doubt that this was Sirius' tree, it seemed as though it was spelled to do only his beadings, as though it too, had fallen under Sirius' charm, another helpless victim, to his shine.

We approached him nervously, Peter already by our side.

And then he spoke.

"Whatever party you heard about Matthew I am not going!"

He spoke, how I missed his soft raspy voice, even more I missed his carefree laugh.

By my side, Remus stiffened as he heard Matthew's name spring from Sirius beautiful full red lips.

I had always known that whatever it was between Sirius and I, it could never be more than friendship, it is just too precious to destroy with a lovers' tiff.

But Sirius and Remus, well that was another matter.

They always thought me to be too ignorant, and maybe slightly too self-involved to notice the budding affection between them, they were wrong.

How could I be blind to Remus nearly spitting fire every time he encounters one of Sirius' ex lovers?

How could I not see how their eyes glowed when they stared at each other? Hugs that last a second too long? Cheeks flushed? Sirius caressing Remus' hair lovingly? Brining him food to the hospital wing?

The sad irony of it all is that Sirius had not yet accepted to himself that he loves, yes, I dare say loves! Remus.

As for Remus, there was never a doubt in my mind regarding the ardent feelings he has for Sirius, but he will never act upon those feelings, why?

Because he is too afraid of himself, of the wolf within, he fears letting people that close inside of him, that they will see the real ugliness behind the somewhat glamorous exterior of being a werewolf.

And only Sirius and I would find that glamorous, little does he know that Sirius shares the same fear with him.

Why else would he choose this endless, meaningless coupling with nameless people he will not remember later?

He does not recall them fondly, nor does he feel any lasting pleasure from these encounters.

But Sirius, for all his intelligent and fearless manner, is just as scared as everyone else, if not more.

And for that I fear they may never find each other, much like the old saying goes. Two trains in the night.

They will never meet, because none wish it to be.

~ Remus' p.o.v ~

Matthew! How I despise him! Envy him!

But I cannot concentrate on that now, I want my Sirius back, our Sirius back that is.

James spoke then.

"What if it was a party for the returning missing marauder, would you still decline?"

Sirius quickly lifted his head from the old dusty book, his eyes widened in surprise as he gazed at us.

My heart began to race; the pounding sound of it completely deafened me.

How I missed those beautiful expressive purple eyes, the long almost feminine black eye lashes, the black-blue silky locks, I used to stroke so lovingly when Sirius suffered from a bad dream, the full red lips, I dreamed of kissing every night, but would now settle to simply watch as they curved in a smile, a smile for me.

I missed everything that was Sirius, everything that I loved.

"What do you mean by that, James?" he spoke cautiously, his eyes boring into James' and then mine, trying to decide whether we spoke the truth or not.

I realized then that our treatment of him had hurt him so deeply, that he had begun to doubt our love for him, that had to be amended quickly, I could tell that James felt the same way, as his pale blue gaze met my own, in concern.

"I mean, that we want our Sirius back, I as well as Remus and Peter agree that our problems will not be solved by us being apart, we want to try to fix this, put it behind us. What do you say?"

For a minute nobody said a word, the only sound was the howling of the soft summer wind, as it ruffled our hairs in mocking playfulness.

"I say I want to come back."

He spoke quietly, his head lowered to the ground as though he feared that by looking into our eyes, the moment would be shattered with lies and deceptions.

I waited no further, as soon as the words had left his mouth, I leaped towards him, my arms embracing him, pulling him close to my body, to my heart.

James' warm body joined our mashed limbs, adding his own warm weight, his mouth close to Sirius' ear, he whispered quietly, too quiet for my super human senses to hear more than scrape of syllables, but I quickly tuned out of their private conversation, not daring to intrude into their precious moment.

And so we were united.

Sirius had then formally hugged James, me and finally clasped Peter's hand in a friendly gesture, that surprised none more than Peter himself, for Sirius rarely spared much warmth towards him, if any at all.

We stood beneath that spellbinding apple tree announcing our newfound friendship, accepting our old scars and wounds, recognizing changes in each other's personality we had been too involved before, to take notice of. But we had all the time in the world to learn.

Beneath that cherished apple tree our friendship was rediscovered and judged once again to be strong and true, sealed under the comforting shade of those strong branches.

The maradures were back.

"I cannot believe the school year is almost over" I complained to my friends a day after our moving reunion, over breakfast.

"I can't believe the year is nearly over and we had barely done any pranks!" exclaimed James in true horror.

"I believe you are right, prongs, that must be fixed immediately!"

Declared Sirius, his devious mind already plotting the untimely demise of our "fellow" slytherins.

Our excited chatter was broken upon the arrival of the morning post.

James' brown barn owl, Spike as well as Sirius' hot-tempered black owl, Zombie settled themselves on the breakfast table.

While Spike nicked breadcrumbs off of James' plate, Zombie has made himself comfortable in his master's sweet porridge, his beak plunging into the bowl of porridge with obvious relish.

"No mail, eh punks?" James stated with a smirk on his face, letting Spike continue feeding off his plate, Sirius sighed and allowed Zombie to do the same, stroking the satin black feathers.

My own gray owl soared through the window with a look of disdain towards both Spike and Zombie, he dropped the letter into my awaiting palm, before landing gracefully on the table before me, chirping in thanks at the offered owl treats.

I opened my letter. Immediately recognizing my mother's unique scrawl.

Dear Remus

I hope you are well, I am aware that your "special" night is only two days upon your return from Hogwarts and the beginning of the summer break, all of the preparations have been made accordingly.

Remus my child, your father has arranged for all three of us to spend most of the summer holiday in Rome, where he has heard of a new research on lycanthropes that has been reported to have made tremendous discoveries in this field.

Please Remus I beg of you, do not despair, you must accept your father's guilt and my own for your pain and suffering, we will do all we can to rid you of this curse, all I ask is that you bear with us a little longer, my strong and brave child.

We will be leaving for Rome a week after your arrival and return a week before your schooling will resume, well in time for you to purchase the needed supplies for your sixth year.

Remember Remus, no matter how despondent you are with these news, remember that we love you more than words can say and wish only to give you a chance at a normal life, respected and admired by your peers, that is your rightful place, my bright boy, remember that.

Love.

Your mother.

I folded the letter and hid it in the back pocket of the pants I wore beneath my school robes, fighting back the feelings of despair and anxiety, wishing hopelessly to spend one summer at home, playing in the back yard, sleeping over at James' house, being normal.

But here I was once again faced with another summer of being prodded and pricked, put under a microscope, and examined.

It was these trips that made me feel so abnormal, so degraded, not my transformations, not the raging wolf in the back of my mind, not even the looks of disgust and recognition upon Severus Snape's face could makes me feel as lowly and undeserving as those scheduled weeks spent in labs all over the world.

I sighed, glancing up at the concerned faces of my friends; I knew that they were aware of my changed mood, their questioning gazes, settled upon my saddened expression, with a mix of sympathy and curiosity.

They waited patiently for me to speak, knowing that I needed the time to compose myself.

"I'm…I'm going to Rome this summer, my father heard of this new research, so we are leaving for Rome a week after school is out for the summer holiday"

For a minute they were all silent, comprehending my news, and then Sirius spoke.

"When do you return, Rem?"

He asked me quietly, not a hint of emotion penetrating past his mask of mild interest.

"A week before school begins." Both Sirius and James nodded, silently, their expressions now grim.

"We all meet in Diagon alley as planned, right?" Sirius asked me, or more to say confirmed for me.

His gaze burning with a purple flame of confidence and support that brought tears to my eyes.

I gulped back my tears, nodding my assent to his words, smiling a tremulous smile at him, he smiled back, his grin kind and loving, and I felt my heart soar with the beautiful pleasure of this secret smile, meant only for me.

Suddenly Rome did not seem so bad, as I knew Sirius as well as James and Peter will write to me constantly, and we will meet as always in Diagon alley.

~ Sirius p.o.v ~

"Another year, gone, but let us not forget the lessons learnt here…"

Another year, another speech, I thought, yawning in complete boredom as Dumbledore rambled on about deeds and lessons of life, but I was already thinking about the parting meal, my stomach growling in absolute hunger, that I might add was not helped by my constant obsessing with my new guessing game. "Guess what will be served tonight!" my bets were currently on fried chicken, shepherd's pie, rice and peas, for the main course of course.

"Sirius, you goof! Snap out of it!" James elbowed me painfully; I turned towards my offending friend in anger, my stomach growling once again.

"What? You disturbed my guessing game, you oaf!"

I cried in dismay, rubbing my hungry stomach with one hand while gingerly caressing my injured side.

"The prank for the train, don't you think it's a bit too much? I mean we already transfigured the slytherins' bed into beds of nails, dyed their common room in a disastrous mixture of hot pink and orange as well as releasing a band of Cornish pixies in their bedrooms. Aren't we pushing it a bit too much?"

I looked deep into his pale blue eyes, framed by his thick-framed glasses, seeing the needed confirmation in his eyes, I smiled deviously, evoking the same conniving smile from his own lips.

Together we both declared.

"Hell no!"

Snickering silently under moony's watchful gaze, the curve of his soft lips quirking upwards in a shared smile of scheming pleasure.

He is a marauder after all, one of the best!

Finally the speeches were over and the meal was served and I have won my guessing game!

"Did you see the look on his face? God! That was priceless!"

"How about when they both screamed 'we will get you for this Potter and you too Black!' priceless!"

James and I walked off the Hogwarts Express onto the Platform of 9 and 3/4, in King's Cross railway station, laughing out loud as we reminisced about the fulfilling ride back home.

The prank in question was preformed with brilliance befitting our status as the most fearsome pranksters this school has ever seen.

It all began with a simple harmless spell, the Rickoto spell that made the infected individual dance, but not just any dance, no! That would be too easy.

The poor miserable soul preformed only ballet accompanied by a lovely pink chowchow skirt.

The spell first hit several sixth year slytherins, who began dancing around their cart, each taking turns to jump high into the air while performing a split.

The unfortunate souls found the land of unconsciousness quickly as they cracked their skulls against the low ceiling in the cart.

Satisfied we moved further, splitting into two groups, one with Remus and Peter, the only one with enough patience towards Peter's incompetence, and the other consisted of James, and me of course.

We passed through every cart striking every slytherin on board with the hilarious charm.

The uproarious peals of laughter feeding our prides, as the slytherin's dancing ensemble broke into another magnificent dance, their pink chowchow skirts glistening with the supplementary glitter, added by moony, himself, as a final touch, he said.

Their bodies and expressions were stiff and mechanic-like, their movements were as graceful as can be, had we not been distracted by the pink chowchow or the hilarity of the situation, I suppose one could find it quite beautiful, perhaps we should sell tickets to the show, to the faculty?

I wonder what James will say to that? I grinned in amusement.

The hilarious part of all was that the spell had not broken until they all passed through the barrier towards the muggle world.

They all glided past the barrier in mid-dance, jumping high up into the air, only to drop unceremoniously to the ground as they no longer held even the slightest grace the spell had gifted them with.

We laughed together all four of us, hands clasped together as we cheered and celebrated our togetherness and cleverness, our shoulders tapped, praise sang to our ears as our audience which consisted of all three remaining houses, came to congratulate and honor us, but we saw none but each other, standing tall and united.

The time to depart had come again, reluctant I embraced my friends for the last time in several weeks, loathing the painful void that became a persistent fixture in my heart each time I had to say goodbye.

"Take care, Jamie"

"You too Siri, you are coming to stay with me, right?"
"Of course, you stupid git!"

We embraced again, before James finally moved to depart from Peter.

I turned towards Remus, my eyes meeting those beautiful honey-colored pools of warmth. Unbelievable that I came so close to losing him, I berated myself again at my recklessness, only to be stopped by my kind Remus.

"Don't Padfoot, I can see in your eyes what you are doing! We agreed it was over!"

"I know, but it's never forgotten, is it Rem?" I spoke inaudibly, not really expecting an answer, and not surprised when I received none.

"I hope you find what you need in Rome, what your family needs." I said calmly, while inside my heart was racing in anxious dismay, not ready to let go, to separate for even this short a time.

"Thank you" he whispered softly, his eyes lowered to the ground and hidden beneath the silvery-blonde strands of his hair that covered his eyes from sight, as he continued to stare at the ground.

I turned away from him, clasping Peter's hand in a friendly grip.

"Have a good summer, Pete!" I said to him with false cheerfulness, my mind still with Remus and our strange parting.

We all walked in different directions, Peter with his parents to the leaky cauldron, James outside where his parents waited in a muggle taxi, to take him to the muggle village of Scranton.

And finally Remus and his parents towards the bathroom stalls were they usually port keyed home.

Both Peter and James had already left, when Remus rushed back towards me, he stopped a few inches apart from me, gazing into my eyes with tormented hazel eyes, the silver streaks more prominent in their mysterious depths.

He hugged me, embracing me, sheltering me in the warmth of his arm, his lips pressing against my cheek, but I could not determine whether it was a kiss or merely a press of skin against skin.

He let me go abruptly, and dashed back towards the retreating figures of his parents, leaving me shivering without his warmth and tenderness.

My hand covered my cheek; the one Remus had pressed his soft lips to.

I smile stupidly and walk outside, my eyes easily catching sight of the horribly pink colored and flowered commune van, with Venetia in the driver seat, accompanied by none other than Quinn and Armadia, my wonderful "siblings".

We all embrace in a twisted group hug of tangled limbs and uproarious laughter.

I load my luggage to the van and take my seat by the window, feeling comforted by the noisy and happy chatter that easily lolls me into their conversation, making me feel as though I still have a place in this muggle world, but in my mind I know that the time will come when I will have to choose between both worlds, to decide where I belong, but for now I bask in childhood ignorance and crave the comfort and companionship only the commune can supply, but also to the challenging and exciting life only Hogwarts can grant.

Someday I'll be forced to choose, but for now I refuse to dwell on such subjects.

The time will come, as it always does.

Next in Of Beauty: meeting in Diagon alley, hints of evil doings outside of Hogwarts, a new DADA teacher, a budding romance turning sour and dangerous, Sirius begins new classes and our lad just can't seem to stay out of trouble. All of that and more on chapter 9 and the maradures sixth year in Hogwarts.

I know that was unbelievably long! Sorry, the chapter refused to finish itself! Does that make any sense?

Lol! Please R&R, I live for your kind words and long reviews (hint. hint).

So try to make me happy, please review!

I would like to thank all of you who read my story and ask you all to please leave a review; it helps to know what you think of the story and how I may improve it. It also helps (I admit!) to an author's ego to know people actually enjoy his or hers work.

Jasini-thank you, I was worried about the whole whomping willow incident, I'm glad you like it; I hope you will also like this obscenely long chapter.

Shura- wow! Thank you, I hope you will also be pleased with this installment.

Shadow Shi13- thank you for reviewing, I agree self hate is a terrible thing, but I doubt any of us can say they have never felt that way themselves. Let me know what you think about this new chapter, god knows it took ages to finish!

Cassy- thank you, I hope you will also find this chapter hot and sexy, I also promise you some good Remus/Sirius on the way, I already have a wonderful sex scene between them in my mind, just waiting to be typed on the computer.

Loonie Lori Lupin- thank you, I was way self conscious about this story as well as my own characterization, I'm glad you liked it, I also hope you will enjoy this chapter as well, I'd love to hear your comments on it.

Janice- thank you! Even that one word made me feel better, I do hope next time you will leave a longer review, I'd love to hear any comments or criticism you have.

My Beloved Sunshine- I know shame on me! Did this chapter get you to come back for more? I must say there is a lot more twists and turns to this plot. Hope you will stick around for the long haul.

Neelah Black- all I can say, you should definitely read the NC-17 version of this chapter, I have a feeling you will like it much better.

Miss Angelus- I hope you enjoyed the NC-17 version I sent you, if you want the one for this chapter, let me know.

IMaxed- thank you for reviewing, it means a lot to me. As for the details I'm glad you like it because I was worried they might be too much, it is so easy to get lost in them, thank you.

As for my grammar, I know it's awful but I'm afraid I'm not an English native speaker, so I write according to the way I feel is right for the characters, and I'm still looking for a beta to help me with my grammar and comma issues. So I hope that will be solved easy.

As for the sensual part, well all I can say is you really should read the NC-17 version, it is more sensual.

Let me know how you like this chapter, I'd love any comments, plus this chapter has more sex scenes. Lol.

Davey-boy- thank you, so much. As for Remus' anger, it is very hard to strike the exact measure of one's feelings, I think he was more heart broken than angry, at least according to my story, but you will also see very soon that Remus is no pushover and every thing he does is for a certain reason.

Thank you for leaving a review, I hope you will enjoy this chapter as well, please let me know.

Well that's it people, I'm taking a long happy break! 40 pages is more than enough for now, so please don't hate me, I just need some sleep!

Chapter 9 is already in the works, and will not take as long as this one, I hope. (Unless it too will decide to be 40 pages long!)

Any of you who want the NC-17 version, well… you know what to do!

So don't forget authors don't live off money, they live off reviews (at least until they write their first best-seller!)