Duty
By Dan'yu
Long ago, when they were still both children, he had been charged with the role of her protector.
Grief and rage had blinded him, made him drive his father's last words away to the farthest reaches of his mind, but as he showed her nothing more than anger and hatred, she had showered him with kindness and affection, however afraid she was of him.
How had he repaid that kindness? He had hurt her, more than just physically; he was the lowest of creatures, for harming that gentle heart.
He had had enough with hatred, enough with anger, enough with resentment.
He was her protector now, not out of duty but his choice.
Years had passed since that fateful Chuunin examination, when he had nearly let hatred consume him to the very core, when he had nearly let hatred permanently harm the one who would hold the key to his salvation. He had been such a fool, then and now…he was still a fool.
Afterward, he had wanted so desperately to reestablish that connection with her, that connection that had bonded them together as children, love, affection, a bond of family and friendship. And they had reestablished that link, a bond between them so strong that not even fate could break them apart.
Balance.
Everything relied on balance. The balance between their duties and propriety, the balance between familial affection and a forbidden love.
He had long since become his lady's shadow. Certain members of the family cast them sidelong glances, suspicious stares that threatened to linger on blatantly inappropriate before he sent his infamous scowl in their direction, and they scurried away like the rats they were. Rats, spies. It was only in circumstances of that like that he began to worry, never for himself, only for Hinata. It was essential to keep that balance, so not to rouse Hiashi-sama's suspicion. His role as protector must be well played.
Where did the lies end, and their truth begin?
The House of Hyuuga was an entanglement of lies and secrets, a constant, overcasting, looming shadow that threatened one day to consume them all. So lost in their own darkness, drowning without even realizing it, the Hyuuga would bring about their own destruction if nothing were done to stop it. They were all too blind, despite the power of Hyuuga eyes, they were still so blind, not to see how their salvation walked among them. How their savior came in the form of one delicate, meek, beautiful, incredibly strong girl.
Duty.
Duty…how he loathed the word, swallowed the bitter aftertaste ever time it passed his lips, every time it propelled his every action. When Hiashi-sama called him to attend, the words brought by the nameless messenger sent an icy chill to his guy. The constant threat looming over him, the mark of submission branded forever into his forehead as heavy a memory as his recollection of the power of the seal, the pain that spreads like wildfire through his body whenever his uncle sees fit to remind him of who he is.
And despite it all, Hyuuga Neji's spine nearly breaks in defiance every time he kneels, submits before the head of his clan, his master, his own uncle.
He stands now in a dark so thick and palpable that even the power of the Byakugan cannot fully discern the differences between shapes and colors in the night. His body is stiff and hard, vaguely throbbing with lingering pain in too many places to count. He is cold; kneeling against the frozen ground, as he raises his hands close to his eyes for examination, the raw, red scrapes brazen against the ghostly pale sheen of his skin.
How long had he pounded his fists again and again into the training target, breaking skin, drawing blood, and losing himself in the familiar feel of pain. There was power in this, in the ability to give pain. But this time the power was his, and this pain was his own, self-inflicted, and in this moment, no one else held the power over him.
He shuddered lightly, disturbed by the trail of his own thoughts. What would Hinata think of him now, if she could see the ugliness dwelling so deep inside?
No…she would accept it, like everything else she accepted about him. Selfless and pure, she would accept everything about him. But even Hinata had something bitter and ugly inside, hidden so deep no one else could see. Hatred could taint even the gentlest of hearts.
He struggled to his feet, disgusted by the trembling of his body, by the weakness, but still he pushed himself into a standing position. He tears strips from his training gi, securely wrapping the dark fabric around his swelling hands, oblivious to the dull thrumming of pain.
Love.
Despite it all, she still held her precious ideal, that love could wash away the horrible taint seeping into their lives, their hearts, their very souls. It was love that gave him his very last hope, encased in a tiny slip of a girl quickly becoming a woman.
As if his very thoughts could make her appear, he feels her presence at his back. He turned his head over his shoulder, not completely, just enough for her to see the light smile curving his mouth as he feels her activated Byakugan, knowing she can see his just as clearly.
"Should you be out so late, Hinata-sama?" he asks softly, letting his voice lilt with a light teasing tone, knowing full well she demanded long ago he drop the honorific from her name, ironically amused at his own ease of keeping a light tone despite their circumstances.
The smile that graced her flawless features, beautiful and ethereal, as she seems in her pure white kimono, a glowing radiance in the night, equally as ironic, equally as cynical, seemed unnatural on such a gentle face. "Iie, I should not. But Hanabi left me a message that you had returned."
He stiffened, answering only with a curt nod, grateful once more for Hanabi's devotion to her older sister, despite their father's disapproval. "I would have come to see you right away, but I was delayed."
"I see. Did something happen on the mission? Is that why you seem so distant now?"
"Wha?" He glanced back at her, puzzled, uncomprehending.
She laid a hand against his face; fingers as soft as a butterfly's kiss tracing the strong line of his jaw, stroking the rough hint of stubble against his skin until he leaned into her touch, opening his eyes to meet her. "It's in your eyes, Neji. We're so close, right now, but one look into your eyes shows you to be so far away."
"I'm an ANBU," he whispered, wishing nothing more than to scream the truth to her, to no longer play games, to convince her once and for all to end both their torment. The irrational feeling passed, and he continued, his tone just as soft, "Our missions are never easy."
"Aaa." As she made the sound of acknowledgement, he grasped the hand against his cheek in his own, placing a chaste kiss against her open palm, his lips cold against her warmth. "Then it is not the mission that plaques you now?"
"Hiashi-sama summoned me to attend him, even as I was making my report to the Hokage."
The warmth in her eyes chilled so quickly it startled him, even as the grip on his hand tightened almost painfully. "I see. And what was it he did to you, Neji?"
"You know I won't tell you that." His face darkening, he traced the bruise shadowing her right temple. "Just as you would have never mentioned this to me. I heard from Hanabi as well, you see. She said you were summoned directly after I left."
"Neji." His eyes met hers once more, sharp and piercing in their intensity. His face twisted into a scowl so severe the expression was almost feral, the underlying savage quality to his next words frightening to anyone who did not know him so well. "I'll kill him for it."
"Neji." She repeated his name again, like a mantra, a prayer, as she lightly brushed back his dark hair, his hitai-ate, to expose the one mark that branded him. Her hand she braced against his shoulder for leverage, as she leaned on the tips of her toes to reach him, her lips gently brushing against his skin, against the seal.
He trembled at the contact, the intimacy of the gesture somehow even deeper, more earth shattering than the numerous times he had held her in his arms, bare skin warm against bare skin, her heart beating in unison with his as he made love to her. Despite the countless times he had graced her bed, no matter how often he had stood exposed in all his male glory, he had never before felt so naked in her presence.
"Neji."
With the sound of her voice, he opened his eyes once more, as she leaned back, offering no protest as he enveloped her in his arms, pulling her tightly against him. She soothingly stroked his hair, murmuring quiet nothings of comfort into his ear until the shudders running through his body quieted, memories of Hiashi and vulnerability chased away in the wake of her smile.
"He's not worth it, Neji. You know that."
"I know. It doesn't stop me from wanting to rip out his throat."
Again, her eyes shadowed, filling with a bitter hatred that clenched his heart in familiar feeling. "He's an embittered old man whose time will pass, Neji. His hold on the Hyuuga will not last forever."
An echo of an old promise, a vow one boy had made in a naïve wish to free a family drowning in their own darkness. A reminder of something that went deeper than Hiashi's perversion of his power, generations upon generations of enslavement and oppression, an endless cycle Hinata was determined to put an end to.
Power was what she needed, ironically, the same power her father held, the same power he used to torment them both, and countless others. She was the heir to that power, and they both waited for her day to come.
Like actors in a play, they played their parts from day to day with flawless perfection. His was simpler somehow, to play the role of the disgruntled guardian, to hide a lover's affection behind a familiar mask of distaste and indifference. Her role was more difficult, requiring a performance so revolting to them both. Her submission, her weakness, playing the part of the meek, stuttering creature afraid of her own shadow, the role Hiashi's years of psychological abuse had once reduced her to.
She had long since risen above it, making him so proud as she gained confidence to add to her strength and grace, growing under his tutelage and gentle protection. His devotion to her had only grown in those intervening years, watching her rise above everything she had always believed about herself, reinforcing what made her so much stronger than the rest, her giving nature, her eternal kindness, her empathy and understanding. Unfortunately, it was only a change she could show to a select few, and he reveled in being one of those blessed chosen.
Her hands ghosted over his bandaged knuckles, cupping his bruised hands so gently he could not discern any tangible contact. "Come see me later, Neji. I'll make up a salve for you."
His curiosity got the better of him. "You're not going to ask me how it happened, or why?"
She gazed up at him, jade-white eyes eerily illuminating in the black around them. "Do you want me to ask?"
"No."
She nodded simply, and turned in his arms, her gaze directed toward the opposite horizon, where the sunrise was sure to appear at any moment. He slipped his arms around her, lost himself in her familiar warmth and scent, the strange fragrance of wildflowers and spring rain that lingered from her garden, and forgot anything else until she spoke again, just as the sky began to alit with the fires of heaven.
"Neji. Do you think it's wrong for a daughter to desire the death of her sire?"
He laughed, surprising her, though there was no humor in the sound. "Sins weigh heavy on my own soul, Hinata. I'm not the one to judge you."
She sighed softly, as he pressed a kiss to the curve of her neck, his breath warm but his lips cold. "Perhaps, because of those sins, you would be the better one to judge than any outsider."
"No." Pressing his hand against hers, forcing both their fingers to spread apart, he lifted them before her eyes, palm against palm. Even wrapped in bandages, his fingers were still long, rough, and calloused against hers, large and strong enough to break or shelter her smaller hand. "This is the difference, Hinata. The hand of a killer, and the hand of a savior. His time will come, and Hiashi will pass from this world. When your moment comes, I will be there to support you as you stake your claim. As mistress of the Hyuuga, you'll have the power to save or destroy us."
"It's frightening, isn't it?" she said softly, unable to meet his eyes, "To hold that much power."
"I'd trust you with it. Hinata." He cupped her chin gently, turning her face toward his. "I honestly can't tell you if it's wrong or right, but the moment Hiashi meets his death, he'll have to meet his own judge."
"Duty is as biting as a sword's edge, just as lethal and doubly as deadly."
"Where did you hear that?"
The expression in her eyes was unreadable, as she leaned in and kissed him gently, running her hands down his chest, coming to rest over his thundering heartbeat. "Father taught it to me."
"My duty," he whispered, pulling her to him once more, "Is to you, and only you. You know that, don't you?"
Tracing the emblem of the Hyuuga emblazoned into his chest, she glanced away, a vulnerability in her eyes that he had not seen in a long time. "Is it just your duty that bounds you to me, Neji?"
"Iie. It's my heart, my lady, always my heart."
Owari