Title: Be Prepared

Chapter 4: That's not great news…

By ellymelly

Disclaimer: It has been brought to my attention that I don't own anything – so, uh, I don't…

Rule number one in amateur space exploring: Never give a human a time machine-

"Alright Mckay," said John calmly, "break it down into manageable courses."

"We're on a space ship, we can't get off."

"Nice. New plan, let's find a way off." Sheppard broke their rather large group down into discrete units. He sent Rodney, Zelenka, Carter and Beckett to the bridge; Teyla and Dr. Jackson in search of – well, in search and he went off to relay the situation to Thor.

It only took the two groups several minutes to get lost. The Rodney group found itself face to face with a series of doors – each one staring back in identical blankness. Carter was fiddling with the control panel in an attempt to open one of them – Rodney and Zelenka looked on as she struggled.

"We could just –"

"I'm fine." she snapped at Zelenka.

The panel finally managed a happy beep and the door slid open to reveal an enormous room. The back wall was completely clear and looked out on the local solar system – its star burning brightly in the background. In its centre sat a lone Puddlejumper.

Rodney's eyes lit up. "Cool."

"What is it that you mean by 'stuck'?" inquired Thor carefully, tapping the display stones back in the safety of his ship. His hologram in front of John flickered.

"We ah, can't seem to get off the ship."

"I shall beam you up."

John waited as several minutes passed.

"Yeah, Mckay said that wouldn't work."

"I do not understand."

"We had a little accident with the control panel, it seems we accidentally raised the shields on this baby."

Thor thought carefully about what Major Sheppard had just said. After much deliberation and examination of his own sensors he replied in his best O'Neil voice, "Ya don' say."

Zelenka leaned in a little closer, "Not my first choice."

The three of them looked at the contraption in the centre of the Puddlejumper which was now glowing brightly.

"What'd you do?" demanded Carter from behind. Rodney blinked at the device.

"I'm not entirely sure."

"It could just be me," began Zelenka nervously peering out the window, "but wasn't that planet green a few moments ago?"

"Mckay," Carter thought for a moment, "what were you thinking just now?"

"Oh nothing – just back to that mission report where you found a time machine inside a Puddlejumper and I thought, 'wouldn't it be cool if we…'"

Beckett dropped his mouth open in realization, "O' no..."

"Flip it back! Flip it back!" yelled Sam, brandishing her weapon.

Flash

The planet below returned promptly to a nice, lush green. Beckett resumed respiratory action. "O' thank god."

Flash

"Uh oh…"

Carter spun around, "Rodney!"

Flash

"Hey, cool."

Zelenka glared at Mckay's broad smile, "Quit it!"

Flash

"Here 'e go." Beckett's eyes darted from Rodney to the device as they disappeared in another flash of light.

Flash

Two huge Wraith ships started to fly towards them. Each brandishing a fleet of Darts. Carter yelled frantically at Mckay.

"MCKAY!"

"Oh, sorry."

Flash

"Knock it off Mckay!" Rodney merely ignored Beckett.

Flash

"I'm confused."

The Czech jumped forward, "Rodney!"

"Kidding." Presenting the ship with another grin.

Flash

Carter had had enough of this, "Oh for the love of Pete… Give it here!"

Mckay protested, "You haven't got the funky gene."

"I'll do't." Mckay and Zelenka whirled around in fright of the suggestion of Beckett in charge of any kind of Atlantian equipment.

"NO!"

"Don't think anything."

Zelenka, perhaps not hearing Carter's comment, proceeded to talk, "Do you think it would be wise idea to get out of here?"

"Don't ask me questions or I'll start thinkin'."

"I wasn't, I was simply giving you instructions so that we don't end up in any more life threatening predica –"

Flash

They all turned to see the sun swollen and about to explode…

Everyone but Rodney yelled frantically, "Turn it back!"

Flash

Major Sheppard was still standing in the hallway with a holographic Thor in front of him when his radio broke the awkward silence.

"Major Sheppared, this is Teyla, we've found the Bridge."

He had to do a double take at his radio in shock, "I thought you were supposed to be looking around. I sent the Doctors to the bridge."

"We got a little lost, as I suspect – so did everyone else."

"Oh man."

"Can not Lieutenant Ford and Teyla complete the mission in place of Doctors Carter, Mckay, Beckett and Zelenka?"

John looked worriedly at Thor – not believing his luck. "It's – possible…"

"We're screwed."

This time John actually did do a double take of his radio. "Mckay?"

"Oh, sorry, did I say that last bit out loud?"

Another holographic chose to materialize into the hall next to Thor. John jumped back a few feet in surprise.

Elizabeth waved to him. "Hi."

"Ah! There you are…"

She was smitten, "There I am."

"You're on Thor's ship?"

"Mmm.." she mulled the question teasingly, "no. I'm in Atlantis."

John was fast re-thinking the superior nature of the Asgard race. "Oh, okay."

"I'm going to check on Rodney, make sure he's not touching anything."

John nodded helplessly as her hologram disappeared. Thor looked back at Sheppard and narrowed his eyes. Sheppard hoped that this was a biological malfunction.

Back in the jumper, things had not improved.

"I know what I said but –"

Beam

There was a bright light as Mckay's speech was interrupted by Elizabeth's hologram. "'Lizabeth!"

"Rodney," she glanced around the Puddlejumper and the frightened expression on its occupants' faces, "whatcha doin'?"

"He's messing' about with this time travel thing." said Beckett angrily.

"Rodney/ Please tell me –"

Flash

"Whoops."

"Where'd she go?" said Zelenka, leaning toward the place where she had been. Carter rolled her eyes.

"I'm presuming there's no Asgard ship above us in whatever millennia Mckay has us in.

Flash

" – that you're not doing that. Time travel is a bad idea."

Carter breathed sharply, "It most certainly is."

"Hey!" exclaimed Mckay impressed with himself, "No time passed for her. That's interesting."

"Not really." Remarked Zelenka dryly.

Carter finished her radio discussion, "Major Sheppard wants you all to head off to the Bridge."

"Which is… where?"

Carter wanted to say something really intelligent in response to Mckay but had to admit she was a little lost as well, "Yeah, we're a little lost at the moment."

"Follow me. I'll beam in and out."

Beckett wasn't sure what the meant but it sounded better than spending more time with Rodney in a Puddlejumper, "Okay."

At the Bridge, Ford was looming dangerously close to the Atlantian control panel. Teyla, who was supposed to be supervising him, warned him repeatedly not to touch things.

"Ford, I do not think it wise to –" Unfortunately, this time she was too late. Ford reached out and touched the little red button in the centre of the panel causing a series of lights to start flashing in time with a warning alarm. Daniel listened and tried to translate.

"General – alarm – um, activated. Ten – minutes to – ah… Oh! Self destruct." He took a few moments to beam proudly at his successful translation. His eyebrows dropping when he finally realized what he had just said. "That's not great news…"

Major Sheppard ran into the control room, beaten by holographic Thor.

Beam

"My sensors indicate that you have –"

Sheppard fell into the room, "What happened?"

Beam

"What'd I miss?"

Ford looked at Elizabeth, "Ah, I was just…"

But he didn't get to finish as the Doctors entered the Bridge puffing.

Mckay was livid, "Please tell me you didn't –"

"Nine minutes to self destruct." interpreted Daniel helpfully.

"Self de what'?" said Zelenka in confusion. Beckett looked around for the nearest wall to slump against.

"O' no."