Tears of Vodka
Italics in the story refer to Michiru's thoughts.
Dedication: Though it isn't quite a fully fledged fan fic, I'd like to dedicate it to the Ruka I know. Hope you enjoy it HK!
Michiru wearily set the phone down after this last attempt to reach Haruka. She rose in search of aspirin to ward off the encroaching headache. It had been so long since they'd talked, she missed her friend. She took the pills with a glass of Smirnoff and ginger ale, then laid down on the couch, exhausted from constantly crying for so long.
Tears
of vodka
Ice
for veins.
I
swear that slowly
I'm
going insane.
A few hours later or so, she got up, staring out the window, only to catch a fleeting glimpse of Ruka running down the street. Michiru sighed and pressed her cheek to the window pane, the fact that Ruka ignored her, stung. Was it even worth it anymore to try and remain friends?
Steeped
in passion
Heart
of glass
I'm
crazy for wanting
To
make it last.
Ever since that day when Haruka had fled, Michiru had begun to question her response to what Ruka had said. Did I really mean what I said to her? That I only care for her as a friend? If that's the case, then why do I feel slightly light headed when I'm around her? Why do I always wish she was here? Why did I want her to kiss me instead of run away? Is it possible I'm attracted to her, that I do want more than friendship? I hate being so unsure of myself.
Tempered
by poison
Face
of shame
How
keen the sword
Olove
and of pain.
Tears
of vodka
Ice
for veins
I
swear that slowly
I'm
going insane.
It didn't feel right to go out and have fun, when she knew how miserable Haruka was, so when her girlfriends called wanting to go dance, she politely refused, saying she had work to do. As Michi poured another glass, she kept thinking about her actions, and each time, fell a little deeper into the ditch of guilt she was digging for herself.
These
desires seem so
Forbidden.
Can't
reach out for solace
So
I am hidden.
Waiting
in shadows
Soul
depraved.
Shaking
with wanting
To
grieve and to rage.
What can I do now though? Have I burned that bridge between us irreparably? And why did Haruka have to go and complicate things anyway? Why couldn't she have just left well enough alone? But I miss her, I miss her so much. She was my best friend, and I'm so sick of this. I don't know if things can be the same, but then again, do I really want them to? There has to be a reason why she told me, as well as one why I feel so strongly for her as well. Enough is enough, one more drink, and I'm going over there. Vodka stop the tears, and give me the assurance I need to do this right.
Lost
in translation
Myself
to blame
I'm
stupid for asking
For
love and for pain.
Tears
of vodka
Ice
for veins
I
swear, I'm slowly
Going
insane!
Feeling slightly more confident, due mostly to the alcohol, Michiru stood up and dried her remaining tears, beginning the walk to Ruka's house, and prepared to eat crow. The walk took far less time than she was expecting, so she paused, her hand in the air, and debated. Should I be here? What if she won't talk to me at all? What if she'll never talk to me again? I'm so stupid for coming here and expecting her just to accept what I'm about to do. Then she reminded herself that she had a duty to their friendship to at least try and make amends, so she brought that hand to Haruka's door, swaying slightly from all that she'd drank.
After what seemed like an hour, the door finally opened to reveal none other than Tenoh Haruka. She seemed very surprised to see a rather drunk Michiru on her front porch. Not saying a word, she stepped inside, allowing the smaller girl to pass.
Before Michiru could start, Haruka beat her to it. "Kaioh-san, what are you doing here? And, are you drunk" she asked, quite baffled.
Michiru winced at the formality, and decided to directly contradict it. "I'm here, Ruka, because I'm sorry. And I'm only half-drunk, and thinking clearly. I've been drinking because I've missed you"
Haruka sighed, and looked at her answering machine. "Yeah, you've said that already."
Sending a glare Haruka's direction, Michiru continued,"I'm also here, Haruka, because I have something to tell you, and something I need to do."
To be continued...
A/N: I wasn't originally planning on continuing it, but now I'm glad I did. And I have another chapter for this in the making, so be on the look-out! Well, ja for now!
Neptune's Mask