Chapter 9

"I'll talk to him; don't worry about it, Karen."

Grace hung up the phone. She felt awful, unable to stop the feeing growing inside of her that all this was her fault. She knew that ultimately it wasn't her problem; Karen did what she though was best. But there was still the opinion, nagging her at the back of her head, that if she hadn't have gone into the office that day, Karen wouldn't be in this mess with Jack. If only she hadn't found the test. Karen had already made up her mind about the abortion, she wasn't going to go through with it, and so Grace had no use being there. She would have then probably told Jack first, then her and Will. Then Jack wouldn't be feeling so hurt that he didn't find out till after her. Oh, if only things had gone differently.

But, she decided, it was too late to think about If Only's. What she needed to do now was act. Karen told her she was going round to tell Will before Jack did. If she didn't get there first, she'd have not one but two friends angry with her. She really didn't need that right now.

Grace waited a few minutes before deciding what to do. She half expected Jack to come bursting into the office shouting at her, but he didn't. In fact, she didn't hear anything from him. No angry phone call or even an irate text. Nothing.

After 10 minutes had passed, Grace knew she needed to do something so she grabbed her bag and coat and headed out of the door.

Karen took a deep breath as she stood outside Will and Grace's apartment. She knew he was home as Grace had told her when they were on the phone, but there was a small part of her praying that he would be out and then she wouldn't have to tell him. But if Karen had learnt anything this past week, it was that you can run from your problems. She'd tried that at the beginning of all this, and look where she had ended up. One of her closest friends had been hurt and walked out on her, at a time when she needed all the friends she could get. Well, she thought, I'd better get this over with.

Her hand shook as she knocked on the door. Come on, she muttered to herself, answer the door. Finally, she heard a shout from the other side and Will opened the door.

"Karen?" He looked shocked to see her. "What are you doing here?"

She hesitated; the doorstep wasn't really the best place for her to tell him her reason. "Can I come in?" Her voice was timid, its childlike characteristic now sounding almost eerie as she spoke.

"Sure." He stepped aside and she walked into the apartment. "I was just going to have something to eat, do you want something?"

"No, thanks, honey. I'm fine."

"Drink? I'm afraid we haven't got any gin, but there's a bottle of vodka you can…"

"No, I don't want a drink. But thanks, Will."

He stopped. "You don't want a drink? Karen, are you feeling ok?"

"I'm fine. It's just I…can't."

"You…can't?" He looked even more puzzled than before. "What's going on? Don't tell me you've joined the AA because I might just faint."

She smiled, "No, honey. It's nothing like that. Come, sit down. I need to talk to you."

Just as Karen was knocking on Will's door, Grace was knocking on Jack's. Both women were feeling the same nerves and anxiety. Grace was worried about what Jack's reaction to her would be. Would he be mad? Would he be furious? Technically, she hadn't done anything wrong, but she knew that in Jack's eyes she had done a lot. Karen had chosen her over him to tell her secret to and despite the fact that it was accidental and a case of being in the right place at the right time, that hurt Jack. More than he would probably admit.

At first nobody answered the door. Maybe he's out, she thought. But just as she was about to give up hope and come back later, the door opened and Jack showed his face.

"I thought it was you." He said. "I actually considered the thought that it was Karen for a minute but then I thought, why would she come round here? She's obviously with her new best friend!"

"Jack…please. Don't be like this."

"Like what exactly, Grace? I'm sorry, am I not allowed to care for my friend anymore? Am I not allowed to feel slightly hurt when she doesn't trust me enough to tell me she's…" he couldn't say it. "to tell me she's…pregnant?"

"Of course you are. But please, don't take it out on Karen. She needs you. You don't understand how hard this is for her. You know what Karen's like, she keeps herself to herself. Nobody's allowed to see the real her, it's like she has to keep up this front with us. She was scared and she felt alone."

"Alone? I was there! She could have told me straight away, but no. She didn't. She lied to me."

Grace suddenly became aware of the fact that they were still stood on Jack's doorstep.

"Look, we can discuss this here. Can I come in? Please?"

Jack thought about this for a while, but then realising that it wasn't very decorous, he stepped aside and let her inside.

"Karen, what's wrong?"

She led him over to the sofa and they sat down. Just as she had done with Jack, Karen grabbed Will's hand. It gave her the feeling of security she needed at times like these.

"Ok. I'll start from the beginning. A few weeks ago it was Stan's birthday and I forgot his present so I thought to myself, what does Stan like most that I don't have to buy and he doesn't get very often…"

"Ok, ok, I get that bit." Will said quickly, trying to get the mental image he just received out of his head.

"Anyway, basically, I thought I was pregnant and last week I took a test and it turns out I am."

Will looked shocked. "Oh my god, Karen! That's huge! Congratulations!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a hug. She smiled, relieved at his reaction. Grace was right; Will would be great with the baby. Will released her, still smiling. "What does Stan think about all this?"

She hesitated; this was where it was going to get difficult. "He…Stan didn't want it. So…he left."

Wills smile disappeared. "Oh, Karen. I'm so sorry."

"No, don't worry about it, honey. I'm fine. I'm better off without him if that's the way he thinks."

He smiled at her, "Yeah, you are. Wow, I can't believe this! So, do Jack and Grace know?"

"Well, Grace found my test so she's known almost as soon as I did but I decided not to tell you and Jack at that point cos I needed to get my head together really. I mean, it was such a shock, I wasn't really thinking straight."

Will nodded, which gave Karen great relief. "Yeah, I understand. So does Jack know now? I bet he's thrilled!"

"I…I told Jack earlier today, just before I came to see you. But he didn't take it too well."

"What? I don't understand."

"Well, the thing is, he was there when I found out but I told him the test was negative. I just wasn't ready to deal with it all and I knew how excited he would be about it all. So, I told him today that I was actually pregnant but he got angry because I lied and now I don't know what's going on. Grace has gone to find him and talk to him but I don't know if it'll do any good…I don't know anything any more…"

Will was shocked to see tears running down Karen's face. He'd never seen her cry before.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "It's the hormones. I seem to be crying all the time now."

Will wrapped her in a hug once more but this time he held on and comforted her. "Hey, hey, don't worry about it. Grace will sort it out. I'm sure Jack's just feeling a little mixed up about it. He's probably thrilled that you're pregnant, he'll just be feeling mad that you didn't tell him straight away." He gently stroked her back, not knowing what else to do.

"Do you want a drink?" Jack asked, reluctantly.

"Erm…sure." Grace said, feeling very uncomfortable. Jack was being so hostile; it was going to take a lot of effort to win him round. "I'll just have water, please."

Jack got 2 bottles out of his fridge and placed them on the small table in the centre of the room. There was a few minutes silence as the two drank their water but finally Grace spoke.

"Come on, Jack. Say something."

"You're the one who wanted to come round here." He said, looking at her straight in the eyes. "I've got nothing to say."

"Please, Jack. You can't be like this. Karen needs you right now. I know you, Jack. You don't want it like this…you can't want it like this."

He rose from his seat, taking his empty bottle with him, and made his way into the kitchen.

"Of course I don't want it like this. Do you think I enjoy not speaking to my best friend?"

"No, of course you don't…"

"Exactly, but when push comes to shove, Grace, she didn't tell me, and that fact isn't just going to go away, no matter how much you try or we want it to. So, if you've got nothing more to say, I think you'd better leave."

Grace started to get up, completely disappointed with herself, but then she stopped. Karen needed Jack and she wasn't going to leave until this was sorted.

"No, I'm not going anywhere until we sort this."

Jack tried to speak but Grace ignored him. "You are both too important to me for me to let this lie, and now there's a baby involved. Jack, do you know how sorry Karen is? Up until now, she's only had me as a shoulder to cry on. She's been longing to tell you but she knew that you'd react like this. If you think you're hurting, try being in Karen's shoes for a couple of hours. That's pain."

Jack looked astonished as Grace kept on going.

"You're into acting, Jack, try this situation out for size. After years of hating your husband's kids, you find out you're pregnant. You have a split second to decide whether to tell your best friend or not. If you tell him the truth, you can't go back. This baby is coming. If you lie to him, you give yourself a little time to decide what's best for you and the baby. So you decide to lie. After a brief moment of uncertainty, you decide to keep the baby. Now the time has come to tell your husband, he'll be happy, right? Wrong. He doesn't want it, so he walks out on you. Feeling so alone, you decide to tell your best friend the truth. Now, he'll understand, surely. Wrong again. He's feeling bitter that you didn't tell him the truth to begin with so he walks out on you too."

She paused for breath, watching Jack closely. "There you are, Jack." She started walking closer to him. "You're alone. All the people you thought you could rely on have abandoned you. All that you have left is that crazy lady who you work for, who only found out you were pregnant by being in the right place at the right time. Suddenly, she's the only one who seems to care so naturally you confide in her, you tell her everything, because, to be honest, Jack, who else have you got?"

She'd finished. Jack couldn't speak. "So think about that, Jack. Just think about what Karen's going through before you start taking all this out on her. If you still can't find it in your heart to forgive her, then you're not the man, and friend, we all thought you were."

She grabbed her coat and bag and walked to the door. "See you around, Jack." And she left, leaving Jack standing in the middle of the room.

Alone.

Oooh, that was a long chapter! I didn't think I'd go on for that long! OK, one more thing, I was a bit unsure of where Jack was living during this time period so I tried not to mention a specific place. Let's just say he lives in an apartment somewhere!