Chapter DammitI'veForgottenWhatChapterI'mUpTo

"Alright. All we have to do is flick General Hammond on the nose. If that's all we need to do, why are we here?" Daniel had decided that this was ridiculous and that if Hammond had a problem with the fungus on the 'gate, he would have to deal with it himself.

O'Neill seemed to agree, but for a different reason. "That's it! I want something to eat; we're going home, kids!"

Sam looked at him weirdly. "Um, sir, do you wanna go back just cos you're hungry?"

Her CO glared. "No, Carter, I'm looking for excuses." She waited for some sarcastic comment to follow, but it never came, therefore telling her that he was completely serious.

Daniel looked at Teal'c, who was standing silently beside them. Suddenly, Teal'c lunged forward and got O'Neill in a headlock.

"Who are you and what have you done with the real Colonel O'Neill?"

"Teal'c, what the hell are you doing?" the Colonel gagged, making it sound as though his air was cut off although he could breathe just fine.

"You are being serious. You are not O'Neill."

O'Neill wrestled himself free of the big man's grasp and chortled, "thanks buddy. Let's just go home."

Daniel was lost deep in thought as they made their way back to the Stargate. It was hard to believe his birthday had not been three days ago and his coffee warmer had already been scratched (!) Sam dialed Earth and they all went home, tired, sore and reason-for-the-fungusless.

General Hammond was waiting them on the other side. "Welcome back, SG-1. Was your mission successful?"

O'Neill walked right up to the good General and flicked him on the nose. It was as if someone had chucked a bucket of water over him: Hammond shuddered violently, then looked as if Sam, O'Neill, Daniel and Teal'c were aliens (A/N 'scuse the alien bit, on Teal'c's behalf).

"Where the hell did I send you?" he said suddenly.

"You sent us to find the origin of the fungus on the Stargate, sir."

"That's right, I remember now. Debriefing in one hour."

Sam, Daniel and Teal'c went to the locker rooms. O'Neill turned to leave when Hammond stopped him.

"The president called in relation to the fungus on the Stargate. I'm afraid we might have to take action."

O'Neill couldn't find anything to say. "What? What action?"

I'm afraid the next chapter will be the last, but certainly not least. I might consider writing a sequel, just to torture you.